Question about doing consentual rape scenes...

I know this can be a touchy subject, but dammit, I didn't know where else to ask.

The lady I am currently involved with has recently told me that one of her biggest fantasies is to be taken against her will, to put it nicely. We discussed this at length and we both agreed that we'd both be comfortable doing such a thing with one another, however we've encountered a problem (well, it's not normally a problem, but for something like this it is). She's so easy to work up, a simple hard tug of her hair is enough to get her juices flowing. In essence, she's ready to go at the drop of a hat. This brought us to the question that her and I both left the conversation off at last night.

How do you go about doing a consentual rape scene when the other person gets so easily worked up that the 'non-con' aspect of it becomes almost non-existant in a matter of moments?

Obviously, surprise has to be key, but what else can be done? And yes, we have a safe word already, I refused to even discuss this with her until we'd both picked one.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

This is one of the problems I have with role play, especially one such as rape scenes which claim are coming from a non-consent base and yet is the desire and often suggestion of the supposed non-consentual player. The only 2 ways I have ever come up with solving this both are too high risk IMHO. One is to be able to completely surprise your partner to the point they are unaware it is you, thus they believe it is real.....high risk and could end you in court or worse and them in therapy for years or worse. Second is to feel out how they feel about it being somone else and then arranging it secretly from there...once again high risk which could have all the above outcomes as well as disease and/or injury. I think you are going to just work with what you have and use your imagination enough to pretend it is real.

Of course there is a 3rd option I once read in a story on Lit which was good for those in a D/s relationship where the sub was visited by a couple of men who had a message on paper she recognised as belonging to her Dominant telling her to please them for him. Despite her fears, she obeyed, only to get a call from her Dom as the men were leaving telling her his briefcase (where the paper was kept) had been stolen. It was left up to the reader to decide if this was part of his game to make her think she had just done the unforgiveable, or whether it was real and the whole message had been a hoax of which she was the victim.

Catalina

EricShields said:

I know this can be a touchy subject, but dammit, I didn't know where else to ask.

The lady I am currently involved with has recently told me that one of her biggest fantasies is to be taken against her will, to put it nicely. We discussed this at length and we both agreed that we'd both be comfortable doing such a thing with one another, however we've encountered a problem (well, it's not normally a problem, but for something like this it is). She's so easy to work up, a simple hard tug of her hair is enough to get her juices flowing. In essence, she's ready to go at the drop of a hat. This brought us to the question that her and I both left the conversation off at last night.

How do you go about doing a consentual rape scene when the other person gets so easily worked up that the 'non-con' aspect of it becomes almost non-existant in a matter of moments?

Obviously, surprise has to be key, but what else can be done? And yes, we have a safe word already, I refused to even discuss this with her until we'd both picked one.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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There are many women who are easy to work up with a tug of the hair.

A much, much smaller group can sustain the physical and emotional impact of a situation in which a loving partner transforms himself into a wildly aggressive, physically violent monster who chases her down, overcomes her physical resistance, and roughly forces himself upon her.

More to the point here, however, I really struggle to understand the utility of asking the question "What can be done?" in this context.

This is not the kind of thing a person can be taught effectively, like how to build a bookshelf.

You've either got this wildly aggressive guy buried inside, or you don't.

If you do, then he's gonna do what he wants to do when he's unleashed. If you don't, then you really won't be able to pull something like this off.

Either way, the question itself is pointless.

Hi EricShields,

My Ex-Sir and I had this issue because we were both really turned on by the thought of rapeplay but uncertain how to make it both convincing & safe (My Sir now and I haven't worked our way up to this one yet). Two scenarios that worked for us were as follows:

1) When he wanted sex and I wasn't in the mood. To begin with my resistance would be genuine but he would be determined. I always had the option of using my safeword, so in that respect the 'rape' remained consensual.

2) As make-up sex after an argument. This was basically him re-asserting his authority over me as my dominant. He would tell me in no uncertain terms that he owned me and that I existed for his entertainment. It was highly charged, passionate sex.

A couple of times he did surprise me and once I wasn't certain it was him but this can backfire. I was terrified until I saw it was him and then the relief just made me livid that he'd been sadistic enough to let me doubt. It shook my trust in him and his concern for my physical and psychological welfare.

Having said that, as JMohegan pointed out, much of the thrill of the experience rests with you as the 'attacker'. My Sir would be violent, pinning me with his weight, slapping me, tugging my hair etc... he had no concern whatsoever for my comfort or enjoyment at any point in this kind of play. That's a mindset you can either take on temporarily and enjoy, or it isn't. Similarly, your lady may discover that her concept or rapeplay differs from yours or she may even decide that it's not for her after all and if you try it you should be prepared for that.

Look at how naturally dominant you are and how naturally submissive she is sexually. For me this took a lot of time and trust within an established Sir/sub dynamic. If you are in other respects equals at all times it may be more difficult to switch dominance/submission on and off like this in the bedroom.

My Sir has the right to take what he wants from me unless I safeword with good reason because I have handed him that right of my own free will. I think you need to establish what you're both going to get from rapeplay and the implications it might have for how you feel about each other afterwards. If you're not naturally dominant yourself and suddenly have a wife who wants to submit on your hands, how will you compromise?

we've never tried this.. I think it's in the "still too scary for my wife" category.. but a friend of ours was telling us about how his ex-girlfriend was obsessed with being raped.. so one time they went to a park late at night after it was closed and she started going for a walk by herself.. meanwhile he waited for her along the path.. she didn't know where he was, but when she got to him he jumped out, grabbed her, ripped off her clothes, threw her to the ground, and raped her (quite roughly from what he claims).. she loved it so I guess you technically can't call it rape.. I don't know how safe that would be though.. I would think that simply having a woman walking in a park alone at night wouldn't be safe..

Surprise would be the key here. Tell her that You will be doing a rape scene with her sometime during the week but she won't know when or how it will go. she will know that it's going to happen though. That way the surprise factor is there but she will still have an idea of what's going on. Choose a day and time without telling her. When she least expects it, come into the house and take her forcefully. Keep Your clothes on. This might enhance her view of You as a stranger. Maybe You can wear a mask or put a blindfold on her. This will add to the anonymity of it. Good luck and have fun! Let us know how it goes.

catalina_francisco said:

This is one of the problems I have with role play, especially one such as rape scenes which claim are coming from a non-consent base and yet is the desire and often suggestion of the supposed non-consentual player. The only 2 ways I have ever come up with solving this both are too high risk IMHO. One is to be able to completely surprise your partner to the point they are unaware it is you, thus they believe it is real.....high risk and could end you in court or worse and them in therapy for years or worse. Second is to feel out how they feel about it being somone else and then arranging it secretly from there...once again high risk which could have all the above outcomes as well as disease and/or injury. I think you are going to just work with what you have and use your imagination enough to pretend it is real.

Of course there is a 3rd option I once read in a story on Lit which was good for those in a D/s relationship where the sub was visited by a couple of men who had a message on paper she recognised as belonging to her Dominant telling her to please them for him. Despite her fears, she obeyed, only to get a call from her Dom as the men were leaving telling her his briefcase (where the paper was kept) had been stolen. It was left up to the reader to decide if this was part of his game to make her think she had just done the unforgiveable, or whether it was real and the whole message had been a hoax of which she was the victim.

Catalina

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Oooooo.... i read that story too... devoured it in fact.
The nonconsent section has always been my absolute favorite here on Lit and elsewhere (second to only a few other sections which i will not admit to on a public forum nor anywhere else for that matter ).
It's the well known issue of 'can't rape the willing'.
i have to agree with Catalina. It's a subject that can not be made real without accepting the associated risks which may come as part of the package..... (or at least that is how it has always turned out when mulled over in my own mind).

sinn0cent1 said:

Oooooo.... i read that story too... devoured it in fact.

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Actually . . . I think I read it, too. lol

graceanne said:

Actually . . . I think I read it, too. lol

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darn it graceanne....... are you following me ? You are not stalking me are you??






Seriously, i am now thinking i may go back and read it again.....copy paste and save it even...
it was a really really gooooooooood read....

..............

JMohegan said:

There are many women who are easy to work up with a tug of the hair.

A much, much smaller group can sustain the physical and emotional impact of a situation in which a loving partner transforms himself into a wildly aggressive, physically violent monster who chases her down, overcomes her physical resistance, and roughly forces himself upon her.

More to the point here, however, I really struggle to understand the utility of asking the question "What can be done?" in this context.

This is not the kind of thing a person can be taught effectively, like how to build a bookshelf.

You've either got this wildly aggressive guy buried inside, or you don't.

If you do, then he's gonna do what he wants to do when he's unleashed. If you don't, then you really won't be able to pull something like this off.

Either way, the question itself is pointless.

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I disagree that the question is pointless, but I do agree in spirit with your comments. Creativity is no further away than your own willingness to think about it. Some have it, some don't. There can be a thousand scenarios that can be helpful, but if there's not an ingrain desire to explore on your own, chances are the fullfillment won't quite be there. Good luck and have fun.

One more thing that has sort of been touched upon, but in a round-about off-shooting way. that if YOU'RE gogin to be doing the "raping" then you have to WANT to do it for your own pleasure, not hers. Otherwise, you simply won't achieve what she, and hopefully you, are looking for.

everyone else has said some good things so i dont have much to say except to add tthat when Sir and i were going to do this, he thought that it would be cool to rip my clothes off as a way off making it more real. the problem was he didnt want to rip apart my good or nice clothes, but had no qualms about tearing or cutting clothes that were more of a costume. how would he make this a surprise though?

his solution: he had me go out and buy 2-3 days worth of clothes from the salvation army (short skirt, bra-less shirt) and had me where those clothes for the entire visit. this way i still wouldnt know when it was coming.

I don't have a lot of advice... but I did post about a mock rape scene I did with a gal many, many moons ago in THIS THREAD (post#9). You may find it enjoyable, or get inspired by something in it...

Evil_Geoff said:

I don't have a lot of advice... but I did post about a mock rape scene I did with a gal many, many moons ago in THIS THREAD (post#9). You may find it enjoyable, or get inspired by something in it...

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Wow, you've been here that long already Geoff?? Time flies...
That was a great post by the way...

Quint said:

Admit it, you're a "Celebrities" junkie! You can't hide from the truth!

I think people gave fabulous advice already, especially JMohegan and liberatedslave. Words to fuck by.

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You have no idea how funny that would be....
One thing that Master knows well about me, and barely tolerates is that i am absolutely clueless... totally in the dark when it comes down to knowing who is who among celebrities. i've always been that way.
So, no.. celebrity section is certainly out of the question.... unless they were all about no strings affairs with one night stands because i never can remember names of celebrities.
Best i can tell you is that the sections of which i am most fond are not found here on Lit. They are hidden deep.... in a comparabley huge collection... in the 'archives'

kristen .... archives

DomRick said:

I disagree that the question is pointless, but I do agree in spirit with your comments. Creativity is no further away than your own willingness to think about it. Some have it, some don't. There can be a thousand scenarios that can be helpful, but if there's not an ingrain desire to explore on your own, chances are the fullfillment won't quite be there. Good luck and have fun.

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Creativity without the requisite aggression will not give you the desired effect.

The requisite aggression will generate its own creativity when unleashed.

That's the point I was trying to make.

Many thanks to everyone who replied, the advice has been more than helpful.

Special thanks to Evil_Geoff, don't think I'll be forgetting that story anytime soon.

Part of the issue is making her feel that fear.... rape scense are something that rose and I have discussed frequently, as it is something she has wanted.

We have yet to actually do one on My visits, because of the emotional issues that can come up.... it IS something we will indulge in once we are together 24-7, and I do think that I can play the p[art enough to scare the shit out of her and make her feel it is real...

I've experienced only one rape scene so far. I don't think *surprise* necessarily has to be a factor. I was fully aware of the fact that when I arrived at my Master's house, I was going to be "raped." Like JMohegan said earlier, there are plenty of subs who like pain, rough play, what-have-you. Not all of us can take EXTENDED pain, rough play, etc. My rape scene pushed me right to the very edge of consent. It was rough. It was harsh. It was merciless. I cried real tears, which is something I hardly ever do. I had marks for weeks. I found myself trying to dissociate from what was going on, but he wouldn't let me.

I admit it--I was afraid. I wasn't sure what he was going to do next. I have never been really raped, but I believe that all the thoughts that ran through my mind, all the the things I did, and all the emotions that washed over me were close approximations to what would happen if it had been a "real" rape. I didn't enjoy the whole thing. Looking back on it now, I remember it fondly. I enjoyed parts of it. When he finally forced me down on the bed and pushed his cock inside me, I was wetter than I've been in my life. But to say that I enjoyed every last minute of the pain, the humiliation, the violence, the degradation...well, that'd be a big, fat lie.

He tells me he's going to do it again soon, only even rougher this time. Part of me looks forward to me, and part of me dreads it. That one scene invoked more primal emotions in me than anything else we've done up to and since then. I think that scares me more than anything.

You can ignore her safe word. It's brutal, but it would be rape.

Note that I don't think this is a good idea. It will probably destroy most of the trust in the relationship.

I think you should talk to her about what she really wants... does she really want something completely non-consensual, or does she want to be ravished, in a sense?

AvaAdore said:

You can ignore her safe word. It's brutal, but it would be rape.

Note that I don't think this is a good idea. It will probably destroy most of the trust in the relationship.

I think you should talk to her about what she really wants... does she really want something completely non-consensual, or does she want to be ravished, in a sense?

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ignoring the safe word, to me, would fall outside of the 'C' in SSC....consensual,and then would become a REAL rape and not a 'mock' one. i don't think they WANT a REAL rape hence the name of the thread, if that were the case it would be an illegal act and he would be accountable for his actions through a court of law and rightfully so. there are other ways to make it 'seem' real without it 'being' a real rape. if i uttered my safe word and Master ignored it and continued on, i'd have to say the trust would not be 'mostly destroyed' it would be COMPLETELY destroyed and depending on what was being done..may be charges brought up against Him for rape....so yea, i don't think ignoring the safe word is a good call, unless you like the idea of losing your girl (at the least) or doing time in prison (at the most)

the 'mock rape scene' is one Master and have discussed and i want to do VERY badly, BUT i've also been through a real life rape and He is afraid of the emotional issues it could cause and the flashbacks or whatever that could be brought back by it, i too am afraid of those things, but for some reason really want Him to do this to me. i appreciate that He doesn't just jump into it, and takes time in considering everything involved...i'm not sure what advice i can give to making it 'seem real' to the OP. i know when Master was here the first time He thought about doing it when i came home from work, to 'be waiting in the shadows' so to speak as i got out of the car, but for reasons tht make sense (someone seeing Him and thinking it was REAL and calling the police) He didn't do it. but it would have been the perfect way because in that sleazy ass part of town, i know i would have (at first at least) thought it was real.....

JMohegan said:

A much, much smaller group can sustain the physical and emotional impact of a situation in which a loving partner transforms himself into a wildly aggressive, physically violent monster who chases her down, overcomes her physical resistance, and roughly forces himself upon her.
.

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And a much much smaller group not only "can sustain", but wouldn't have it any other way---god bless 'em.

The thought of a rape scene makes me very uncomfortable.

That said, a scene which the OP may find ideas in is the first BDSM type fantasy I was ever involved with, although I didn't know what BDSM was at the time.

The man I was seeing was very vanilla, but he told me of his long time fantasy which I thought sounded fun and agreed to help him create.

He rang me at work and ordered me to leave work and drive to his house (I had a job where it was easy for me to come and go).
On my way there he rang me and told me to stop in a layby and open the boot of my car. In there I would find some clothes.
I found a short skirt and white shirt which was far far too small, plus hold up stockings. I had to change my clothes in the car, take off my panties and shoes and continue to his house.

I pulled into the driveway and got out. I was very awkward about walking the 3-4 paces to his door. His door was open and I pushed it, calling his name as I went in.

I was just into the hallway when he came out from behind the door and pushed me against the wall.
My back slammed into the wall and he was so fast I could not actually see it was really him. He pushed my head back against the wall, his hand against my throat (but not restricting my breath) and kissed me, hard. His hand reached into the shirt and grabbed my breast squeezing his fingers into it so hard he made me yelp. He stepped back took one look at me and ripped open the shirt and used scissors to cut open my bra. He then threw me on the floor and fucked me so hard and fast I could hardly breath.

When we came up for air the front door was still open!

I loved every second of what happened. From the initial phone call to being fucked.
I had never had anything like that before and it really was amazing.
When he was moving out of that place a few months later, he found some of the buttons of the shirt that had flown in all directions!

It was as close to a rape scene as I would ever want to get, the emotional issues of any more than that would mess my head up.

Edit to add: Bibunny I could not go through what you went through. I would be a basket case if Andante suggested anything like your experience. As for your PYL saying it will happen again, I admire you I would not cope well.

shy slave said:

Edit to add: Bibunny I could not go through what you went through. I would be a basket case if Andante suggested anything like your experience. As for your PYL saying it will happen again, I admire you I would not cope well.

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I'm not sure I'm coping well, either, LOL. Don't get me wrong--I did like it. But I did learn that if your PYL tells you that something is going to be rough, then he's probably not lying to you.