Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Authors' Hangout

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools

Old 07-18-2013, 08:16 AM   #13401
SweetMaj
Teasing Girl
 
SweetMaj's Avatar
 
SweetMaj is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Denmark Copenhagen
Posts: 14,152
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
Covered in MacBurger stuff



I put in a bottle of Tomato Ketchup

And fortunately you're able to "unscrew" the lid.


I put in a trip to the beach.
__________________
"Mind if I sit down?"

"Can I buy you a round?"

"Haven't seen your face before, are you new in town?"
SHANIA TWAIN.

There is no limitation to my imagination.
 

Old 07-18-2013, 01:05 PM   #13402
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetMaj View Post
And fortunately you're able to "unscrew" the lid.


I put in a trip to the beach.
which is closed due to contamination



I put in a cleaner
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-01-2013, 11:29 AM   #13403
stickygirl
Smile..it confuses people
 
stickygirl's Avatar
 
stickygirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 11,483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
which is closed due to contamination



I put in a cleaner
who throws everything into the vacuum of space

I put in the Hubble telescope
__________________
My stories My stories
A bit more stuff on Tumblr
Ask a MtF trans woman a question
 

Old 08-01-2013, 01:34 PM   #13404
LaRascasse
I dream, therefore I am
 
LaRascasse's Avatar
 
LaRascasse is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wasteland
Posts: 1,306
Quote:
Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
who throws everything into the vacuum of space

I put in the Hubble telescope
And saw two green eared aliens doing the intergalactic nasty several lightyears away.

I put in a submarine.
__________________
My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear


In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus
 

Old 08-01-2013, 07:25 PM   #13405
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaRascasse View Post
And saw two green eared aliens doing the intergalactic nasty several lightyears away.

I put in a submarine.
but it does not submerge.


I put in a new screw
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-01-2013, 10:35 PM   #13406
LucyH
Literotica Guru
 
LucyH's Avatar
 
LucyH is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
but it does not submerge.


I put in a new screw
And it tumbles straight through and lands in the change return slot. What do you know - there's a form of currency this machine *doesn't* accept.

I put in an earwig.
__________________
Lucy - literotica writer and freak.
Also check out these print/e-book anthologies that include my stories:
Bite Me
Proxy
 

Old 08-02-2013, 05:27 PM   #13407
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyH View Post
And it tumbles straight through and lands in the change return slot. What do you know - there's a form of currency this machine *doesn't* accept.

I put in an earwig.
but you get an infestation of nymphs--unfortunately they look nothing like the Greek kind...

I put in 73 cryogenically frozen superior beings....
 

Old 08-02-2013, 05:37 PM   #13408
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
but you get an infestation of nymphs--unfortunately they look nothing like the Greek kind...

I put in 73 cryogenically frozen superior beings....
and the power goes off.



I put in a new fishing rod
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-14-2013, 01:44 AM   #13409
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
and the power goes off.



I put in a new fishing rod
but your new rod fails the "tackle test"....

I put in a slightly dented helmet...
 

Old 08-14-2013, 04:28 AM   #13410
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
but your new rod fails the "tackle test"....

I put in a slightly dented helmet...
The 'slightly-dented' head is in the Hospital.



I put in a spare wheel
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-14-2013, 05:04 AM   #13411
Noor
Is not that strange?
 
Noor's Avatar
 
Noor is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Sadly looking across the river Hubur.
Posts: 19,215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
The 'slightly-dented' head is in the Hospital.



I put in a spare wheel
and you get out a motor home with a sleeping girl in it

I put in a guest room
__________________
<img src=http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n307/byroninexile/uu/Moog1_zpseae04596.jpg border=0 alt= />
5th of Tamuz

Byron's Wake and Super Cool Threads.

"You gave him a gift that so many people can only dream of experiencing, and he gave you one, too. You invigorated and soothed him; you helped him find his music again. You deserved more time, but I am so happy that the time you spent together was so joyful and special and full of laughter. You gave him bwankets and I could see his tail wag. He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.
 

Old 08-14-2013, 11:58 AM   #13412
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
and you get out a motor home with a sleeping girl in it

I put in a guest room
which badly needs decorating.



I put in a PC monitor.
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-17-2013, 02:33 AM   #13413
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
which badly needs decorating.



I put in a PC monitor.
but the NSA uses it to monitor you P.C. (particularly closely)...

I put in a politically correct euphemism....
 

Old 08-17-2013, 02:40 AM   #13414
steve44uk
Baleful
 
steve44uk's Avatar
 
steve44uk is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Beep beep, Richie.
Posts: 4,127
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
but the NSA uses it to monitor you P.C. (particularly closely)...

I put in a politically correct euphemism....
... but you end up visually impaired drunk.

I put in a nice Tempranillo...

"Morning, ma'am
__________________
My stories

My AH Directory entry.

Dianthus: "You're incorrigible. I like that in a friend..."

"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks." - Lazarus Long
 

Old 08-17-2013, 03:10 AM   #13415
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve44uk View Post
... but you end up visually impaired drunk.

I put in a nice Tempranillo...

"Morning, ma'am
and you get a "nice" tannic headache...

I put in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test....
 

Old 08-17-2013, 03:15 AM   #13416
steve44uk
Baleful
 
steve44uk's Avatar
 
steve44uk is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Beep beep, Richie.
Posts: 4,127
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
and you get a "nice" tannic headache...

I put in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test....
... and give a wolfish smile.

I put in Romulus and Remus...
__________________
My stories

My AH Directory entry.

Dianthus: "You're incorrigible. I like that in a friend..."

"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks." - Lazarus Long
 

Old 08-17-2013, 03:27 AM   #13417
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve44uk View Post
... and give a wolfish smile.

I put in Romulus and Remus...
And you realize that Cain and Romulus were some of the worst siblings ever....

I put in a temporal incursion by the Na'kuhl...
 

Old 08-17-2013, 05:34 AM   #13418
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
And you realize that Cain and Romulus were some of the worst siblings ever....

I put in a temporal incursion by the Na'kuhl...
but they disappear up their own script pages.



I put in a sign "Normal service will resume in 10 seconds".
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-17-2013, 07:40 AM   #13419
mikoli5763
Really Experienced
 
mikoli5763 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 124
Normal Service

And you get a thirty minute wait.

I put in a still like new January 1976 "Hustler" mag.
 

Old 08-17-2013, 08:20 AM   #13420
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikoli5763 View Post
And you get a thirty minute wait.

I put in a still like new January 1976 "Hustler" mag.
with all the pages stuck together.



I put in a new shed
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 08-18-2013, 08:28 PM   #13421
Tio_Narratore
Everybody Party!
 
Tio_Narratore's Avatar
 
Tio_Narratore is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North
Posts: 40,804
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
with all the pages stuck together.



I put in a new shed
and you get a prim schoolmar'm with a fresh hickory switch.

I put in a lady in a black leather corset...
__________________
Link to my stories...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
 

Old 08-20-2013, 02:45 PM   #13422
NekoParks
Able to Multiple Sarcasm
 
NekoParks's Avatar
 
NekoParks is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: With Prof. Plum in the library with some rope....
Posts: 2,114
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore View Post
and you get a prim schoolmar'm with a fresh hickory switch.

I put in a lady in a black leather corset...
but her undies are a buzz killer, since she tends to squeak every time she bends over.

I put in She-Ra Princess of Power...

 

Old 08-20-2013, 03:24 PM   #13423
Tio_Narratore
Everybody Party!
 
Tio_Narratore's Avatar
 
Tio_Narratore is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North
Posts: 40,804
Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
but her undies are a buzz killer, since she tends to squeak every time she bends over.

I put in She-Ra Princess of Power...

and there's no way she'll do laundry for He-Man, Master of the Universe.

I put in Deteriorata...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey6ugTmCYMk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deteriorata
__________________
Link to my stories...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
 

Old 08-20-2013, 07:19 PM   #13424
danger2no
Registered User
 
danger2no is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: eh
Posts: 226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore View Post
and there's no way she'll do laundry for He-Man, Master of the Universe.

I put in Deteriorata...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey6ugTmCYMk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deteriorata
but you “. . .squirmed and struggled, / And gurgled and guggled..."

I put in my snickersnee. . .
 

Old 08-21-2013, 05:56 AM   #13425
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 35,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by danger2no View Post
but you “. . .squirmed and struggled, / And gurgled and guggled..."

I put in my snickersnee. . .
but the handle falls off.


I put in a double-headed Axe.
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 
Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:33 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.