The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a financial scam.

I put in a consultation with Mr. Ponzi...

bye HP...

cheers, Tio.

He'd forbidden to speak. I thought he was in jail.



I put in a new A.R.M . computer

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

cheers, Tio.

He'd forbidden to speak. I thought he was in jail.



I put in a new A.R.M . computer

But it won't download porn fast enough.


I put in a life sized cardboard Johnny Holmes.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But it won't download porn fast enough.


I put in a life sized cardboard Johnny Holmes.

But the life-size penis is a debatable issue so it gets taken down.



I put in a baseball card of Kate Upton.

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

But the life-size penis is a debatable issue so it gets taken down.



I put in a baseball card of Kate Upton.

Mmmmm, Kate Upton.......er um, now we can't see what's behind the glass.


I put Dr. Ruth.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

Mmmmm, Kate Upton.......er um, now we can't see what's behind the glass.


I put Dr. Ruth.

and you get some smutty advice.

I put in a healthy dose of trisexuality...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get some smutty advice.

I put in a healthy dose of trisexuality...

but it goes off after a debate among the "don't knows"



I put in a new fan belt

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

but it goes off after a debate among the "don't knows"



I put in a new fan belt

But the fan's pants fall down anyway.


I put in rainbow suspenders.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But the fan's pants fall down anyway.


I put in rainbow suspenders.

and the Pride Parade is held up.

I put in a pied piper...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and the Pride Parade is held up.

I put in a pied piper...

And the little Dutch boy wanders off and the dyke breaks...

I put in a Dutch uncle...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

And the little Dutch boy wanders off and the dyke breaks...

I put in a Dutch uncle...

and you still misbehave.

I put in some corporal admonishment...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you still misbehave.

I put in some corporal admonishment...

and it doesn't keep me from humming a Cole Porter song....

(Let's Misbehave)

I put in a holistic detective agency. . .

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and it doesn't keep me from humming a Cole Porter song....

(Let's Misbehave)

I put in a holistic detective agency. . .

and Dirk interrogates you, gently, of course.

I put in an act of god...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and Dirk interrogates you, gently, of course.

I put in an act of god...

and you get an exploding Salaxalans ship that generated the spark of energy needed to start the process of life on Earth...

I put in a long dark tea-time of the soul...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you get an exploding Salaxalans ship that generated the spark of energy needed to start the process of life on Earth...

I put in a long dark tea-time of the soul...

and the VM goes holistic on you.

I put in a don't panic button...

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and the VM goes holistic on you.

I put in a don't panic button...

But the masses believe this is reverse psychology and mass panic ensues.


I put in Anonymous.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But the masses believe this is reverse psychology and mass panic ensues.


I put in Anonymous.

and you get Nona e Musca.

I put in a piece of terra incognita...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But the masses believe this is reverse psychology and mass panic ensues.


I put in Anonymous.

And all of the Edward De Vere conspiracy theorists come out and play...

I put in a moonstone...

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

And all of the Edward De Vere conspiracy theorists come out and play...

I put in a moonstone...

And you get a teen with a joint in his mouth, pressing his ass against the bus window.


I put in three spent circus clowns.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

And you get a teen with a joint in his mouth, pressing his ass against the bus window.


I put in three spent circus clowns.

and you get back a $1.39 change.

I put in a discontinued Canadian penny...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get back a $1.39 change.

I put in a discontinued Canadian penny...

and you get a discontinued English penny (3 to an ounce).



I put in a CD

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and you get a discontinued English penny (3 to an ounce).



I put in a CD

but it pays little interest.

I put in a T-Bill...

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

but it pays little interest.

I put in a T-Bill...

Which is in fact a bill saying you owe the treasury three first born and six bucks.


I put in Madonna's 1987 tour panties.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

Which is in fact a bill saying you owe the treasury three first born and six bucks.


I put in Madonna's 1987 tour panties.

and they're showing their age.

I put in a very old strophion...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and they're showing their age.

I put in a very old strophion...

and the experts debate for ages about what it is and how you take it apart.




I put in a digital clock

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and the experts debate for ages about what it is and how you take it apart.




I put in a digital clock

and you have time on your hands.

I put in a potted Digitalis...