The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by annanova

And I ask for the chocolate syrup, giggling all the while.

I put in a tea kettle.

and you get busted on a pot charge.

I put in a nickel bag...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get busted on a pot charge.

I put in a nickel bag...

and get Paladium in return.



I put in a little book on sex.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and get Paladium in return.



I put in a little book on sex.

and she tells you to stop reading and do it.

I put in a note of homage to Alex Comfort (not for the book, for the protest songs)...

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and she tells you to stop reading and do it.

I put in a note of homage to Alex Comfort (not for the book, for the protest songs)...

And the protests spill out and general chaos reigns.


I put in a pelican.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

And the protests spill out and general chaos reigns.


I put in a pelican.

and you get a Faber-Castell.

I put in a Koh-I-Nor 000...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a Faber-Castell.

I put in a Koh-I-Nor 000...

and you get a hand drawn copy of a M.C. Escher print.

I put in a hot-pink, polyvinyl cat suit...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you get a hand drawn copy of a M.C. Escher print.

I put in a hot-pink, polyvinyl cat suit...

but cannot find the necessary hot-pink, polyvinyl cat to put in it.


I put in a furry, purry, pussy (Felix domesticus, this one).

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

but cannot find the necessary hot-pink, polyvinyl cat to put in it.


I put in a furry, purry, pussy (Felix domesticus, this one).

and you get a Mexican, hairless.

I put in a bald-headed woman...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a Mexican, hairless.

I put in a bald-headed woman...

and you get Mr. Clean (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge--know what I mean...)

I put in black La Perla bra. . .

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you get Mr. Clean (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge--know what I mean...)

I put in black La Perla bra. . .

Wear one of those without a shirt and you'd stop the traffic.



I put in a old Radio Transmitter.

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

Wear one of those without a shirt and you'd stop the traffic.



I put in a old Radio Transmitter.

and you get Ironhide Prime's bodyguard in the episode "Transport to Oblivion."

I put in Dorothy Parker poem...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you get Ironhide Prime's bodyguard in the episode "Transport to Oblivion."

I put in Dorothy Parker poem...

Which burns in the sunlight.


I put in a Parker pen

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

Which burns in the sunlight.


I put in a Parker pen

and you The Martini Formula


Parker pen an advertising campaign in the early 1970s, simply showing a hand using a Parker Pen to write the following 'mathematical' formula on a piece of paper:
frac{(3.5G + frac{V}{2})}{4(H_{2}O)^3} + 3(360^circ) = M
The result was that they received numerous inquiries by chemists, mathematicians, and physicists, asking for the meaning of the formula, as they could not figure it out. The formula is actually a humorous representation for the recipe of a Martini: 3.5 shots of gin and half a shot of vermouth over 4 parts H 2 O 3 (water cubed = ice), finished off with three stirs (the 3×360°).

Apparently the campaign received one very critical letter asking "Who ever heard of a martini without an olive?".





I put in Jimi Hendrix's guitar. . .

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you The Martini Formula


I put in Jimi Hendrix's guitar. . .

and ghostly sounds emerge: [try this ]




I put in something by Ossy Osborne

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and ghostly sounds emerge: [try this ]




I put in something by Ossy Osborne

and you get beheaded bats!

("Little Wing" is my favorite Hendrix. I enjoyed the YouTube link, HP, you sexy dragon, you. )

I put in U2's Rattle and Hum CD...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you get beheaded bats!

("Little Wing" is my favorite Hendrix. I enjoyed the YouTube link, HP, you sexy dragon, you. )

I put in U2's Rattle and Hum CD...

and you get a pass to Joshua Tree National Park.

I put in a pilgrimage to Zabriskie Point...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a pass to Joshua Tree National Park.

I put in a pilgrimage to Zabriskie Point...

It comes out as "Saprinski Spon"




I put in a fishing hook with a sharp point

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

It comes out as "Saprinski Spon"




I put in a fishing hook with a sharp point

and you catch a creel full of crappies.

I put in a #4 gold-plated eagle-claw...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you catch a creel full of crappies.

I put in a #4 gold-plated eagle-claw...

and you get a one-legged eagle.



I put in a new microphone capsule

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and you get a one-legged eagle.



I put in a new microphone capsule

and you get a phone-order microcapsule.

I put in a box of carbon Buckyballs...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a phone-order microcapsule.

I put in a box of carbon Buckyballs...

but there's only 59.



I put in a table-tennis ball

[Saxon_Hart]

And Martina Navratilova steps out and smacks you with her racket.


I put in a hackey sack.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

And Martina Navratilova steps out and smacks you with her racket.


I put in a hackey sack.

and you get a hack in the sack.

I put in a steamy pot boiler...

[glynndah]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a hack in the sack.

I put in a steamy pot boiler...

And you get back a boiler maker.

I toss in some fighting Irish.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by glynndah

And you get back a boiler maker.

I toss in some fighting Irish.

and you get an A&E department full of black-eyed pugilists.



I put in a pair of gloves.