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Old 03-13-2012, 10:28 PM   #10901
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and we end up in a swanky bar, loaded with foxes!

I put in a hot red head. (of the female Homosapien variety)
and, you end up on the set of the Desperate Housewives.

I put in a hot bald guy in uniform.
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:36 PM   #10902
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and, you end up on the set of the Desperate Housewives.

I put in a hot bald guy in uniform.
And Yule Brenner never looked so good !

I put in a cheeky monkey.
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:52 PM   #10903
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And Yule Brenner never looked so good !

I put in a cheeky monkey.
And, oh I have special memories of that tongue.

I put in two lips, or tulips--your choice.
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Old 03-13-2012, 11:58 PM   #10904
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And, oh I have special memories of that tongue.

I put in two lips, or tulips--your choice.
Oh, I'm an Iris man, myself.

And you get a Lovely Bearded Iris.

I put in an actual bearded German. (you choose which one)
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:02 AM   #10905
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Oh, I'm an Iris man, myself.

And you get a Lovely Bearded Iris.

I put in an actual bearded German. (you choose which one)
and, with my new bifocals, you will only get a German beer.

I put in another round.
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Old 03-14-2012, 12:09 AM   #10906
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and, with my new bifocals, you will only get a German beer.

I put in another round.

And you get an original copy of the Reinheitsgebot. Prost !

I put in a Beer Hall Putsch.
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Old 03-14-2012, 01:41 PM   #10907
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And you get an original copy of the Reinheitsgebot. Prost !

I put in a Beer Hall Putsch.
and you get the Third Right.

I put in a left...
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:02 PM   #10908
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and you get the Third Right.

I put in a left...
and you get the ghost of Stalin & Trotski . . . .


I put in the Tyrant of Archon.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:23 AM   #10909
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and you get the ghost of Stalin & Trotski . . . .

I put in the Tyrant of Archon.

And you get The Fool of the World

I put in a Lada, with it's transmission stuck in 'Q'.
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:34 AM   #10910
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And you get The Fool of the World

I put in a Lada, with it's transmission stuck in 'Q'.

But on the UK models, the Q is marked with a ??
and the Owner's Manual is lost.



I put in a translation guide for car owners for Japanese cars.
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Old 03-15-2012, 11:09 AM   #10911
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But on the UK models, the Q is marked with a ??
and the Owner's Manual is lost.



I put in a translation guide for car owners for Japanese cars.
and you find that "if pedestrian hove into view, tootle him with your horn melodiously."

I put in James Joyce's "quite illegible railway guide..."
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Old 03-15-2012, 06:29 PM   #10912
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and you find that "if pedestrian hove into view, tootle him with your horn melodiously."

I put in James Joyce's "quite illegible railway guide..."
and you wind up in Tierra del Fuego when actually you wanted Central Park west.
[or for anyone outside the North American continent, Lyons when you wanted Bournemouth]



I put in an on-line railway guide.
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Old 03-15-2012, 11:38 PM   #10913
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and you wind up in Tierra del Fuego when actually you wanted Central Park west.
[or for anyone outside the North American continent, Lyons when you wanted Bournemouth]



I put in an on-line railway guide.
(Lyons-Bournemouth is a lot closer than CPW-Tierra del Fuego!)

and you get a virtual trip across Siberia.

I put in a sleeper on the Canadian, Toronto to Vancouver...
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Old 03-16-2012, 08:59 AM   #10914
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(Lyons-Bournemouth is a lot closer than CPW-Tierra del Fuego!)

and you get a virtual trip across Siberia.

I put in a sleeper on the Canadian, Toronto to Vancouver...
and you stay awake the whole journey. . . . . .


I put in a rec0ording of Gordon Lightfoot "The great Canadian Railroad Trilogy".
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Old 03-16-2012, 10:22 AM   #10915
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and you stay awake the whole journey. . . . . .


I put in a rec0ording of Gordon Lightfoot "The great Canadian Railroad Trilogy".
and you get a salute from the navvys.

I put in a different kind of salute to the RR from the Cree, the Assiniboine, the Blackfeet...
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:21 AM   #10916
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and you get a salute from the navvys.

I put in a different kind of salute to the RR from the Cree, the Assiniboine, the Blackfeet...
and you get reservations ......... at a roadside diner.

I put in a railroading.
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:29 AM   #10917
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and you get reservations ......... at a roadside diner.

I put in a railroading.
and you get an 11" x 17" frame-up.

I put in a funicular...
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Old 03-16-2012, 04:13 PM   #10918
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and you get an 11" x 17" frame-up.

I put in a funicular...
but the atom smasher you ordered from Acme comes in wayyy to many boxes!

I put in a phone call from my gf.
 

Old 03-16-2012, 07:31 PM   #10919
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but the atom smasher you ordered from Acme comes in wayyy to many boxes!

I put in a phone call from my gf.
and you hear "sorry - wrong number"



I put in an expired phone card
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Old 03-16-2012, 09:12 PM   #10920
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and you hear "sorry - wrong number"


I put in an expired phone card

And you get an obscene clone fall.

I put in a special phone that can prank call into the past, but not the future.
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Old 03-16-2012, 10:18 PM   #10921
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And you get an obscene clone fall.

I put in a special phone that can prank call into the past, but not the future.
and you're condemned to repeat the lessons of history.

I put in a Massey lecture on the history of farm machinery...
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Old 03-17-2012, 03:45 PM   #10922
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and you're condemned to repeat the lessons of history.

I put in a Massey lecture on the history of farm machinery...
But all the sorority girls that show up wearing their "deere gear' are only interested in the free cover and drinks.

I put in a round of green beer. Cheers !
 

Old 03-17-2012, 05:06 PM   #10923
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But all the sorority girls that show up wearing their "deere gear' are only interested in the free cover and drinks.

I put in a round of green beer. Cheers !

Which gets chucked down the bog.


I put in some real beer.
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:04 PM   #10924
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Which gets chucked down the bog.


I put in some real beer.
and you get thanked by every Irishman around (green beer????).

I put in a round of Mackesons stout...
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Old 03-18-2012, 06:55 AM   #10925
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and you get thanked by every Irishman around (green beer????).

I put in a round of Mackesons stout...
but cannot find the champagne to go with it.


I put in a bowl of breakfast cereal.
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