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Old 02-21-2012, 06:22 PM   #10826
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"Dear Diary," Star Date 1952:

"Damnit! Toto, I told you we over shot Kansas by 1.5 trillion light years!"

"Arff!"

I put in a stripped down version of "Logans Run"

But some of the girls are too modest for a strip


I put in a steam tractor
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Old 02-21-2012, 08:16 PM   #10827
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But some of the girls are too modest for a strip

I put in a steam tractor

but it's already headed for Cleveland.

I put in an obscure form of Japanese Art Porn, involving scarecrows.
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Old 02-21-2012, 08:21 PM   #10828
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but it's already headed for Cleveland.

I put in an obscure form of Japanese Art Porn, involving scarecrows.
and the hoard of "mindless" asians, perfect tornado time travel, with the help of our resident aliens, in hopes the Wizard will give them a brain! :P

I put in a Tipper Gore for Governor campaign ad, displayed on the back of a Iron Maiden album cover.
 

Old 02-23-2012, 12:20 AM   #10829
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and the hoard of "mindless" asians, perfect tornado time travel, with the help of our resident aliens, in hopes the Wizard will give them a brain! :P

I put in a Tipper Gore for Governor campaign ad, displayed on the back of a Iron Maiden album cover.
and you get the flip side of an inconvenient truth - the convenient lie.

I put in a skeptical spouse...
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Old 02-23-2012, 01:46 AM   #10830
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and you get the flip side of an inconvenient truth - the convenient lie.

I put in a skeptical spouse...

who immediately jumps on the chair screaming
[oh - sorry, I though ti was 'mouse']

I put in a new central-heating pump.
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Old 02-23-2012, 02:40 AM   #10831
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who immediately jumps on the chair screaming
[oh - sorry, I though ti was 'mouse']

I put in a new central-heating pump.
and you get a central midriff bump...plus a few paparazzi, and a front page snap.

I put in a 30 minute chess game, with an ex-Third world dictator.
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Old 02-23-2012, 09:19 AM   #10832
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and you get a central midriff bump...plus a few paparazzi, and a front page snap.

I put in a 30 minute chess game, with an ex-Third world dictator.
and he offers you $8,000,000 from his secret Nigerian reserve if you'll only give him your account number and PIN so he can make the deposit.

I put in a best-two-falls-out-of-three between Mammon and Leviathan...
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:02 PM   #10833
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and he offers you $8,000,000 from his secret Nigerian reserve if you'll only give him your account number and PIN so he can make the deposit.

I put in a best-two-falls-out-of-three between Mammon and Leviathan...
but God does not appreciate the contest.


I put in a book of cartoons.
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:16 PM   #10834
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but God does not appreciate the contest.

I put in a book of cartoons.
Which chronicle the life and times of Mohammed.

I put in a safe house in Den Hague.
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Old 02-23-2012, 08:41 PM   #10835
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Which chronicle the life and times of Mohammed.

I put in a safe house in Den Hague.
and Al Hague (Haig) says, "Jerry! This IS NOT a party house for you, or your scurrilous friends! Beat it!"

I put in a missing page to the Nixon papers, found in Al's collection of vietnam era Soldier of Fortune magazine collection.

Last edited by Austin8 : 02-23-2012 at 08:45 PM.
 

Old 02-23-2012, 10:22 PM   #10836
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and Al Hague (Haig) says, "Jerry! This IS NOT a party house for you, or your scurrilous friends! Beat it!"

I put in a missing page to the Nixon papers, found in Al's collection of vietnam era Soldier of Fortune magazine collection.

and you get a copy of Robert McNamara's Fog of War.

I put in leftover barrel of Agent Orange.
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Old 02-24-2012, 02:01 PM   #10837
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and you get a copy of Robert McNamara's Fog of War.

I put in leftover barrel of Agent Orange.
but it's Grapefruit. . . . .

I put in a potato peeler
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Old 02-24-2012, 02:24 PM   #10838
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but it's Grapefruit. . . . .

I put in a potato peeler
and it's so hot in the kitchen that she takes off all her clothes to get the job done.

I put in an order of French fries...
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Old 02-24-2012, 03:21 PM   #10839
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and it's so hot in the kitchen that she takes off all her clothes to get the job done.

I put in an order of French fries...
and the ghost of le General is still roasting on the spit.
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Old 02-24-2012, 08:02 PM   #10840
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and the ghost of le General is still roasting on the spit.
that's some serious saliva!

I put in a Bic Cristal ballpoint pen, fired from a gun into a piece of wood, and still writes.
 

Old 02-24-2012, 08:31 PM   #10841
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that's some serious saliva!

I put in a Bic Cristal ballpoint pen, fired from a gun into a piece of wood, and still writes.
and you get the hand written memoirs from adventures of the potato peeler.

I put in a cozy evening in, sitting in front of the fire and listening to the sounds of the wind outside...
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:37 PM   #10842
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and you get the hand written memoirs from adventures of the potato peeler.

I put in a cozy evening in, sitting in front of the fire and listening to the sounds of the wind outside...

but the natural sounds are obscured by the clopping of a horse's hooves coming down the path, the stable door across the courtyard opening and closing, and eventually your lover's steps on the porch. Your heart races, as you go to the door to welcome them in from the cold. In your hands you hold out a glass of warmed red wine, and are greeted with a loving smile, and a leer at your brazen nakedness.

I put in a bowl of ice cubes, some nylon rope, and the ticking of an old grandfather clock.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:56 PM   #10843
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but the natural sounds are obscured by the clopping of a horse's hooves coming down the path, the stable door across the courtyard opening and closing, and eventually your lover's steps on the porch. Your heart races, as you go to the door to welcome them in from the cold. In your hands you hold out a glass of warmed red wine, and are greeted with a loving smile, and a leer at your brazen nakedness.

I put in a bowl of ice cubes, some nylon rope, and the ticking of an old grandfather clock.
and you get a bucket of cold chickens, a bic lighter, and one seriously pissed off grandmother.

I put in a bic cristal pen, used as a drill bit, and still writes!
 

Old 02-24-2012, 11:00 PM   #10844
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and you get a bucket of cold chickens, a bic lighter, and one seriously pissed off grandmother.

I put in a bic cristal pen, used as a drill bit, and still writes!

but dude picks it up, looks at it, "I can make a pipe outta this !".

I put in $10 worth of BC Bud.
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Old 02-24-2012, 11:29 PM   #10845
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but dude picks it up, looks at it, "I can make a pipe outta this !".

I put in $10 worth of BC Bud.
and Barrack Obama declares, $10 worth of BC Bud is now worth $250 in the U S A

I put in a bic cristal pen that rights even when submerged in pig blood.
 

Old 02-24-2012, 11:31 PM   #10846
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and Barrack Obama declares, $10 worth of BC Bud is now worth $250 in the U S A

I put in a bic cristal pen that rights even when submerged in pig blood.
And, you find out you've lost your Timex in the same mess, but it's still ticking.

I put in roll of paper towels.
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Old 02-24-2012, 11:33 PM   #10847
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and Barrack Obama declares, $10 worth of BC Bud is now worth $250 in the U S A

I put in a bic cristal pen that rights even when submerged in pig blood.

and you get blood from a stone(r).

I put in a litre of saliva from my Pavlov's Dog experiment.
[damned]those southern winds that carry the lusty aroma of pig roast crackle ever northward ![/damned]



edit: Too slow.....
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Old 02-24-2012, 11:35 PM   #10848
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And, you find out you've lost your Timex in the same mess, but it's still ticking.

I put in roll of paper towels.
and you get a case of western standard

I put in one sweet bathroom light fixture, thats dimmable flowers
 

Old 02-24-2012, 11:38 PM   #10849
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and you get a case of western standard

I put in one sweet bathroom light fixture, thats dimmable flowers
and, you get two lips in the picture.

I put in a little grandmother figurine.
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Old 02-24-2012, 11:44 PM   #10850
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and, you get two lips in the picture.

I put in a little grandmother figurine.
and granny, hauls your ass over to see the flamingos

I put in a house that strangely resembles a warm loving home
 
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