The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Noor

I eat the breakfast

and put in fish and chips

which are consumed rapidly.


I put in a box of No 8 Brass woodscrews.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

which are consumed rapidly.


I put in a box of No 8 Brass woodscrews.

and you're all tuckered out from all that screwing.

I put in a high-protein recovery diet...

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you're all tuckered out from all that screwing.

I put in a high-protein recovery diet...

Meat! Meat! Meat! That's all I think about.

I put in a girl with a little bit of fat.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely

Meat! Meat! Meat! That's all I think about.

I put in a girl with a little bit of fat.

and she runs & runs until she's both fit & slim.


I put in a Great Horny Toad

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and she runs & runs until she's both fit & slim.


I put in a Great Horny Toad

and, of course, I him and he turns into my fairytale prince.

I put in a white horse.

[TE999]

Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely

and, of course, I him and he turns into my fairytale prince.

I put in a white horse.

and you get back a shot glass.


I put in a copy of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' ...

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by TE999

and you get back a shot glass.


I put in a copy of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' ...

and, you use an Allen wrench for a book mark on the chapter about washing your hands with goop before you go to the dinner table.

I put in a cd of sitar music.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely

and, you use an Allen wrench for a book mark on the chapter about washing your hands with goop before you go to the dinner table.

I put in a cd of sitar music.

and you dance your way through the Kama Sutra.

I put in a lingam/yoni stone...

[TE999]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you dance your way through the Kama Sutra.

I put in a lingam/yoni stone...

and you get back a copy of the Bahagavad Gita.

I put in a broken cuckoo clock ...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by TE999

and you get back a copy of the Bahagavad Gita.

I put in a broken cuckoo clock ...

and every hour it sounds"Cuckold, Cuckold" outside the bedroom door.

I put in an old watchmaker...

[TE999]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and every hour it sounds"Cuckold, Cuckold" outside the bedroom door.

I put in an old watchmaker...

and you get back an old watch (fixed).


I put in a book review of 'Wuthering Heights' ...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by TE999

and you get back an old watch (fixed).


I put in a book review of 'Wuthering Heights' ...

published in the depths of an obscure magazine.


I put in a 12m fishing Pole.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

published in the depths of an obscure magazine.


I put in a 12m fishing Pole.

and get pulled overboard by a 2-ton Bluefin.

I put in a Penn Surfmaster 140...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and get pulled overboard by a 2-ton Bluefin.

I put in a Penn Surfmaster 140...

and it clips nicely onto a Shakespeare Ugly Stik.


I put in a No 4/0 hook-to-line

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and it clips nicely onto a Shakespeare Ugly Stik.


I put in a No 4/0 hook-to-line

and you catch a 35 lb. Spanish Mackerel.

Iput in one hell of a seaside barbecue...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you catch a 35 lb. Spanish Mackerel.

Iput in one hell of a seaside barbecue...

and the Yorkshire Sauce makes it wonderful.


I put in a crate of English Light Ale (Beer) !

[TE999]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and the Yorkshire Sauce makes it wonderful.


I put in a crate of English Light Ale (Beer) !

and you get back a bushel of beer nuts.


I put in some fountain pens in which the ink is dried ...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by TE999

and you get back a bushel of beer nuts.


I put in some fountain pens in which the ink is dried ...

and you get a Kohinor sonic nib cleaner.

I put in a 000 technical nib...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a Kohinor sonic nib cleaner.

I put in a 000 technical nib...

and the result is a blank document.


I put in a sheet of new velum

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and the result is a blank document.


I put in a sheet of new velum

and the old velum is heartbroken.

I put in a palimpsest...

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and the old velum is heartbroken.

I put in a palimpsest...

and, it makes me sneeze.

I put in a two-pill package of Zytec.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely

and, it makes me sneeze.

I put in a two-pill package of Zytec.

and the new Zytek gearbox works very well in n the car.

I put in a new gear lever

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and the new Zytek gearbox works very well in n the car.

I put in a new gear lever

First gear, alright. Second gear, hold tight! Faster, Faster Faster....

I put in a speeding ticket.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely

First gear, alright. Second gear, hold tight! Faster, Faster Faster....

I put in a speeding ticket.

it must be doing the ton down the main drag. . . .


I put in a new calliper

[YoursSINSerely]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

it must be doing the ton down the main drag. . . .


I put in a new calliper

And, you have a new Roush.

I put in a 2010 Shellby, white with a blue racing stripe.