The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[The_Darkness]

Here's the deal.

One of the other forums I haunt has this "vending machine" thread. You put in something and the next person tells you what you get. They put in something and the person responding tells them what they get....and on and on and on. Let's see how long this one goes....

I put in an old stuffed animal.

[Zeb_Carter]

And you get a brand spanking new security blanket!


I put in a copy of the LP News.

[The_Darkness]

And you get a year of NPR Political debates on CD.

I put in a Beta Max player

[The_Fool]

Originally Posted by The_Darkness

And you get a year of NPR Political debates on CD.

I put in a Beta Max player

And got back a lifetime supply of eight-track tapes.

I put in an old used stylus from my record player.

[Zeb_Carter]

Originally Posted by The_Darkness

And you get a year of NPR Political debates on CD.

I put in a Beta Max player

And you get repeats of Nixon campaign speeches.


I put in a can of silly string, unused.

[The_Darkness]

You get a can of old nacho cheese

I put in the redhead from my last summer fling.

[Selena_Kitt]

Originally Posted by The_Darkness

I put in the redhead from my last summer fling.

And you get me!


I put in my bellybutton lint...

[Rumple Foreskin]

And you get a scratched LP with Barbara Steisand singing, "Memories."

I put in a used but not-to-abused (or stained) January 1968, issue of Playboy.

Rumple Foreskin

ps: Dang Selena's cute hide. That was for The Darkness. Now I've gotta try again.

And you get a life-time supple of Q-tips.

I'll put in that same beat-up old Playboy.

rf

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by Rumple Foreskin

I'll put in that same beat-up old Playboy.

rf

And you get a one-day pass to Playboy Mansion.

I'll insert the handcuffs that used to hang from the rear-view mirror of my '69 Chevy Impala.

[3113]

Originally Posted by slyc_willie

I'll insert the handcuffs that used to hang from the rear-view mirror of my '69 Chevy Impala.

And you get a dominatrix named Mistress Trixie

I'm putting in a Batman comic book.

[inlovewithyourghost]

Originally Posted by 3113

And you get a dominatrix named Mistress Trixie

I'm putting in a Batman comic book.

And you get a snazzy imitation utility belt.

I put in a ball of rubberbands.

[3113]

Originally Posted by inlovewithyourghost

And you get a snazzy imitation utility belt.

Cool!

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by 3113

And you get a dominatrix named Mistress Trixie

Oh, she whipped me dearly, thanks, 3113 . . . . I shall name one of the welts after you, LOL . . . .

You get the key to the lock on the handcuffs.

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by inlovewithyourghost

I put in a ball of rubberbands.

And you get a lifetime supply of 'spray-on' prophylactic.

I put in the never-used condom that sat in my wallet for 6 years.

[arienette]

Originally Posted by slyc_willie

And you get a lifetime supply of 'spray-on' prophylactic.

I put in the never-used condom that sat in my wallet for 6 years.

And you get a blow up doll.

I put in a pair of old slippers.

[S-Des]

Originally Posted by arienette

And you get a blow up doll.

I put in a pair of old slippers.

And you get a leather corset & panties

I put in all my video tapes that I had to record, but never watch...

[rachlou]

Originally Posted by S-Des

And you get a leather corset & panties

I put in all my video tapes that I had to record, but never watch...

And you get my old rabbit vibrator that doesn't do the rotating beads bit anymore! But hey, its clean...

I put in the porno DVD i didn;t like, featuring the man with the skanky ponytail and grey socks ...

Originally Posted by rachlou

And you get my old rabbit vibrator that doesn't do the rotating beads bit anymore! But hey, its clean...

I put in the porno DVD i didn;t like, featuring the man with the skanky ponytail and grey socks ...

and you get an 8" black and white tv with no vertical hold.

i put in 3 darts with dull tips but great fins

[The_Darkness]

Originally Posted by vella_ms

and you get an 8" black and white tv with no vertical hold.

i put in 3 darts with dull tips but great fins

And you get a worn out puppy chew toy.

I put in an extremely used set of bed sheets.

[Rumple Foreskin]

Originally Posted by slyc_willie

And you get a one-day pass to Playboy Mansion.

Nice, but in the year 2525?

Let's see, second shot at The Darkness:

And you get a Magic-Fingers bed with a lumpy mattress straight from the Hot Springs Motel and Massage Parlor.

I'll put in a bag of quarters (okay, so it's a very, very small bag, so what?).

Rumple Foreskin

[RogueLurker]

Originally Posted by Rumple Foreskin

Nice, but in the year 2525?

Let's see, second shot at The Darkness:

And you get a Magic-Fingers bed with a lumpy mattress straight from the Hot Springs Motel and Massage Parlor.

I'll put in a bag of quarters (okay, so it's a very, very small bag, so what?).

Rumple Foreskin

And you get a Lotto649 (Canadian) /Powerball (US) ticket guaranteed to pay off big when you need the money most.


I put in all those cool organizing thingees that I've bought at Ikea but never actually used.

[SensualCealy]

You get an accordian wall hanging cup holder!

I put in my 80s hair styles magazines and hairspray.

[cloudy]

Originally Posted by SensualCealy

You get an accordian wall hanging cup holder!

I put in my 80s hair styles magazines and hairspray.

and you get the extra entertainment center that's been in the shed or the garage for the last year, because butthead won't get rid of it.

I put in 20+ pair of Tommy Hilfiger/Gap jeans that are a size too small for me now that I'm not working anymore.

[SensualCealy]

You get a years supply of stretchy pants by Vera Wang! lmao!

I put in white pickled beets and a can of spray cheese!

[Salvor-Hardon]

Originally Posted by SensualCealy

You get a years supply of stretchy pants by Vera Wang! lmao!

I put in white pickled beets and a can of spray cheese!

And you get some wild funky hallucenogenic borscht, with cheese topping.

I put in 18 old PC100 sdram sticks just to clean up my office.