Levels of Submission

Have any of you ever felt like there will be no satisfying your desire to submit?

i have been feeling this way these days. i don't feel like i will ever be satisfied. This might very well change once i do this in RL but even then, i still don't know. i am a slave. i can FEEL it. It is part of me. Even if i haven't done it in RL with a Dom, i have done it throughout my life in all areas of my life. i never knew what it was that i was doing though. i never knew what i was missing until now. i need more domination right NOW...that's for sure. i find myself begging Sir to dominate me more. i asked Him if i could kneel at the computer when i speak to Him. This hurts after a while and yet i still asked for it. i still need more though. i don't think i am topping from the bottom here. Maybe i am but i don't mean to. i don't think Sir is taking full advantage of my submissive nature. i know He isn't. This is for my protection which i will be forever grateful but i feel so unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

How submissive do you feel?
Do you ever feel like this? Have you ever?
Do you consider yourself a slave or a sub?
Does submission run through your veins as it does mine?

Kailey_86 said:

Have any of you ever felt like there will be no satisfying your desire to submit?

i have been feeling this way these days. i don't feel like i will ever be satisfied. This might very well change once i do this in RL but even then, i still don't know. i am a slave. i can FEEL it. It is part of me. Even if i haven't done it in RL with a Dom, i have done it throughout my life in all areas of my life. i never knew what it was that i was doing though. i never knew what i was missing until now. i need more domination right NOW...that's for sure. i find myself begging Sir to dominate me more. i asked Him if i could kneel at the computer when i speak to Him. This hurts after a while and yet i still asked for it. i still need more though. i don't think i am topping from the bottom here. Maybe i am but i don't mean to. i don't think Sir is taking full advantage of my submissive nature. i know He isn't. This is for my protection which i will be forever grateful but i feel so unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

How submissive do you feel?
Do you ever feel like this? Have you ever?
Do you consider yourself a slave or a sub?
Does submission run through your veins as it does mine?

Click to expand...

sounds a bit like sub frenzy. i don't know ALOT about this subject. but this journey is a long one and sometimes we need to just hold out and let it happen as it happens. i realize you crave this submission but your Sir is right in holding onto it and nurturing it slowly as not to push you right into it. relax and let it go and as i said in another thread to you, i believe, when you are doing things, do them as though He has told you to do them. your chores, everything. sub frenzy if that's what you're going through can become unhealthy...i'm trying to find some helpful sites for you. i know that it's basically you learn your place in this lifestyle and then want to rush into it all without looking for signs, ect.. that could be harmful...i'll continue to look for some links for you and be back.....

http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/sub_frenzies.htm
here is a good site for you on sub frenzy

wow... sub frenzy... i hadnt thought about it, but after reading the link, i think this is exactly what ive been feeling lately.. and overwhelming need to feed my submissive side

lil_slave_rose said:

sounds a bit like sub frenzy. i don't know ALOT about this subject. but this journey is a long one and sometimes we need to just hold out and let it happen as it happens. i realize you crave this submission but your Sir is right in holding onto it and nurturing it slowly as not to push you right into it. relax and let it go and as i said in another thread to you, i believe, when you are doing things, do them as though He has told you to do them. your chores, everything. sub frenzy if that's what you're going through can become unhealthy...i'm trying to find some helpful sites for you. i know that it's basically you learn your place in this lifestyle and then want to rush into it all without looking for signs, ect.. that could be harmful...i'll continue to look for some links for you and be back.....

Click to expand...

i find that i go in and out of this. i had some people send me some links a month or two ago when i WAS going through a sub frenzy. i don't think this is what i am going through this time though.

Sir and i made a very strong connection on Wednesday. He was very proud of me for something that i did and i couldn't be happier. Then We didn't talk at all on Thursday because We were both busy with Thanksgiving. He was busy again today too so We didn't get to talk for long. He is such a big part of my life that not being able to talk to Him puts a big strain on me. This might be the source of my frustrations today. i know it sounds like sub frenzy but i don't think it is in this case. Things will smooth out again soon enough. i just needed to rant a bit. Vent my frustrations.

Kailey_86 said:

i find that i go in and out of this. i had some people send me some links a month or two ago when i WAS going through a sub frenzy. i don't think this is what i am going through this time though.

Sir and i made a very strong connection on Wednesday. He was very proud of me for something that i did and i couldn't be happier. Then We didn't talk at all on Thursday because We were both busy with Thanksgiving. He was busy again today too so We didn't get to talk for long. He is such a big part of my life that not being able to talk to Him puts a big strain on me. This might be the source of my frustrations today. i know it sounds like sub frenzy but i don't think it is in this case. Things will smooth out again soon enough. i just needed to rant a bit. Vent my frustrations.

Click to expand...

sub frenzy does come and go, and you're right it probably is just the frustration of not being able to talk to Him much in the last few days.
as submissives we need that connection with our Dom's as they are who we 'serve' and i know for myself when i don't get to talk to Master (which is not often) every day, i get down and start craving His Domination. so i DO know how you're feeling. as i was reading these posts to Master, He says, wow sounds like someone else i know..haha....

myinnerslut said:

wow... sub frenzy... i hadnt thought about it, but after reading the link, i think this is exactly what ive been feeling lately.. and overwhelming need to feed my submissive side

Click to expand...

glad i could be of help instead of the one always needing the help/advise *smiles*

i don't know if you are into reading horoscopes or not but i just read mine and had to post it. It fits so well with what is going on today. i am a Capricorn:

"Expressing your feelings to others can become quite confusing, especially when you are uncertain about how to best integrate them into your life. Your dreams are growing faster than you can manage, along with your emotional attachment to them. Do your best to let the show go on, without getting too concerned about the outcome. Let go of control, especially if you have a vested interest."

Anyway, to get this puppy back on track....

Do you consider yourself a sub? a slave?
In what areas of your life do you submit?
How submissive are you?
Are you treated like a pet at home?
Are you treated like a slave?
Do you just have lots of rules?
What is your definition of YOUR submission?
What "level" are you at?

lil_slave_rose said:

glad i could be of help instead of the one always needing the help/advise *smiles*

Click to expand...

I am proud of you for the excellent advice you have dispensed.

I can't add anything, you have covered it well.


kaley86- Just be careful, bcauase when you are in that high craving mode you are VERY vunerable. It does sound like your Sir takes good care of you when you are like that, tho which is a very good thing.

MasterPhoenix said:

I am proud of you for the excellent advice you have dispensed.

I can't add anything, you have covered it well.


kaley86- Just be careful, bcauase when you are in that high craving mode you are VERY vunerable. It does sound like your Sir takes good care of you when you are like that, tho which is a very good thing.

Click to expand...

He does take good care of me. You sound like a wonderful Dom Yourself. lil_slave_rose is a lucky girl.

MasterPhoenix said:

I am proud of you for the excellent advice you have dispensed.

I can't add anything, you have covered it well.


kaley86- Just be careful, bcauase when you are in that high craving mode you are VERY vunerable. It does sound like your Sir takes good care of you when you are like that, tho which is a very good thing.

Click to expand...

*smiles* thank You, Sir!

Kailey_86 said:

He does take good care of me. You sound like a wonderful Dom Yourself. lil_slave_rose is a lucky girl.

Click to expand...

I do the best I can... I am far from perfect...

I think that she would agree with you, and that is what matters the most.

MasterPhoenix said:

I do the best I can... I am far from perfect...

I think that she would agree with you, and that is what matters the most.

Click to expand...

Wow! That sounds so much like something Sir would say....anyhoo...

Kailey_86 said:

Anyway, to get this puppy back on track....

Do you consider yourself a sub? a slave?
In what areas of your life do you submit?
How submissive are you?
Are you treated like a pet at home?
Are you treated like a slave?
Do you just have lots of rules?
What is your definition of YOUR submission?
What "level" are you at?

Click to expand...

i am a 'slave' not so much in the traditional sense because Master does give me the right to voice my opinion and so on, He says He would never change my core and by not letting me be me, that is exactly what He'd be doing. though i'm also a submissive because well..i don't see being a slave without being a submissive. you can however be a submissive without being a slave..make sense? lol

as for areas of my life that i submit i'd say most of them. though at work, i do tend to take on the more 'dominant' roll as i have seniority and have to tell people 'what to do' most of the time, but believe me when i CAN i give that power to someone else.

how submissive am i? wow that's a hard question. sometimes i truly think i'm not submissive enough. sometimes i wonder why Master even puts up with me because i know it's gotta be hard for Him to Dominate me, i'm stubborn and usually go about things my own way. sometimes i feel like i don't submit enough and that i question Him and His motives entirely too much, so honestly, maybe this is a question best answered by Him. *shrugs*

no, i am not treated like a pet, though sometimes we do, do the whole collar and leash thing with me on all fours, but He's never made me eat or drink out of a bowl or anything if this is what you're asking....

treated like a slave? hmm..in what manner? do i serve Him...yes, with my whole being, am allowed choices,opinions,decisions, rights, ect...yes i am that is why i said NOT in the traditional meaning of the word 'slave'

i'm not sure i understand this question..my definition of my submission..could you explain a little more please??

level? i'm not sure i understand levels either, i've been in this lifestyle for 3 years, i've come a long way, do i still have a long way to go? yes, i do and i probably always will, but i'm not sure i could put a 'level' to where i'm at in my journey..does that make sense??

MasterPhoenix said:

I do the best I can... I am far from perfect...

I think that she would agree with you, and that is what matters the most.

Click to expand...

what?? You're not perfect?? and all this time You've been telling me You are!! *cries at the realization that my Master is far from perfect* now what am i gonna do?? *giggles* You are close enough to perfect for me (yes i know that was pretty cliche' but it's the truth)

I'm not in the best of moods, so please do take my thoughts with a grain of salt...

Do you consider yourself a sub? a slave? I consider myself to be, myself- which means I am a complix mish-mosh of Life experiences, personality traits, and brains. I no longer believe I can really catagorize myself, in BDSM terms.

In what areas of your life do you submit? I would willingly give my all to one person, should he ask me to, in any aspect of Life; otherwise, I go about my normal business.

How submissive are you? This has to be the most subjective question I've heard in a long time. Lets just say I've had people tell me I'd make one hell of a Domme, and others say they've rarely met someone who has such an inherently submissive nature.

Are you treated like a pet at home? Yes. As mentioned before in another thread, the cat decides if I'm allowed a pillow at night; yesterday she had her perfectly diced bowl of turkey with gravey, before I sat down to my Thanksgiving dinner.

Are you treated like a slave? Yes. She (the cat) expects me to toe the line, and if she feels neglected, has no problem with sitting on the keyboard, or taking a nap on a pile of vintage clothes, to put me in my place.

Do you just have lots of rules? I've Lived with "rules" in the past, sometimes I create rules for myself, to make Life a little easier.

What is your definition of YOUR submission? Mine.

What "level" are you at? 216 feet above sea level, according to Google.

Somewhere in all of that was a question. The answer is we are all different & we all require different levels of submission at different times, as you will when you come back to earth.

Most of us remember that initial flush of excitement & recognition of our needs. It's a great feeling, but try not to get carried away with it, particularly online. I have to wonder, when someone asks to kneel in front of a computer screen, whether they actually understand anything about the lifestyle at all, or if it's more a case of being caught up in romantic fantasies fuelled by fiction.

My advice, tone it down a bit & mutual admiration posts between partners should maybe belong in the Cafe. There are many of us here who dislike being made part of online relationships & (heaven help us) training.

incubus'_sub said:

Somewhere in all of that was a question. The answer is we are all different & we all require different levels of submission at different times, as you will when you come back to earth.

Most of us remember that initial flush of excitement & recognition of our needs. It's a great feeling, but try not to get carried away with it, particularly online. I have to wonder, when someone asks to kneel in front of a computer screen, whether they actually understand anything about the lifestyle at all, or if it's more a case of being caught up in romantic fantasies fuelled by fiction.

My advice, tone it down a bit & mutual admiration posts between partners should maybe belong in the Cafe. There are many of us here who dislike being made part of online relationships & (heaven help us) training.

Click to expand...

wow..first of all, i'm not understanding why so many of the regular posters here get so upset when someone new comes into the site. i thought that's what this was all for, to meet new people and make friends with like interests, maybe i'm wrong. she is new in the lifestyle and trying to learn, i see nothing wrong with posting this 'thread' of questions. as far as any of you 'being made part of an online relationship' i'm not sure i understand this thought? who is trying to make you any part of any relationship other than your own? just because it's a 'online' relationship does NOT make it any less real to that person. yes my relationship is online/phone one also, but we've also had real experience, and yes it is different, but if kneeling at the computer makes her feel more submissive, who is anyone else to judge? i just thought this post was wrong and uncalled for and yea i realize the regs will probably gang up on me for this post because i'm a newbie and also in an 'online' relationship to boot, but i felt it needed to be said, i didn't think the comments were fair and since i know a few of them were directed at me and my Sir, i felt i needed to reply. i wasn't aware that we weren't allowed to post 'admiration between partners' on this forum, He was simply tellin me He was proud of me for the advise i gave, you could have skipped right on through it and went to the next thread/post, whatever....it just seems the 'regs' around here are not so friendly to those of us who are new to the forum, though i have met and chatted with quite a few who this is not the case, and to those i'm sorry for this, but i felt attacked and needed to defend myself and any other newbie that gets the lashings of the ones who for some reason think that because they've been here longer, they somehow have a right to post negative things to our threads/posts.

Kailey_86 said:

Have any of you ever felt like there will be no satisfying your desire to submit?

i have been feeling this way these days. i don't feel like i will ever be satisfied. This might very well change once i do this in RL but even then, i still don't know. i am a slave. i can FEEL it. It is part of me. Even if i haven't done it in RL with a Dom, i have done it throughout my life in all areas of my life. i never knew what it was that i was doing though. i never knew what i was missing until now. i need more domination right NOW...that's for sure. i find myself begging Sir to dominate me more. i asked Him if i could kneel at the computer when i speak to Him. This hurts after a while and yet i still asked for it. i still need more though. i don't think i am topping from the bottom here. Maybe i am but i don't mean to. i don't think Sir is taking full advantage of my submissive nature. i know He isn't. This is for my protection which i will be forever grateful but i feel so unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

How submissive do you feel?
Do you ever feel like this? Have you ever?
Do you consider yourself a slave or a sub?
Does submission run through your veins as it does mine?

Click to expand...

I remember when I first submitted to Master. I remember feeling like he wasn't putting his full domination on me. I remember wanting more, I was even led astray by some one who offered me what I thought I needed and was missing. Thankfully Master took me back and forgave me and then took that opertunity to start furthering my training. He's moved slowly with me, and I think it really has been best. He's my first dom, and he's the first man I've had a significant relationship with since my ex husband. He really does know best, and I trust him. It was a hard lession to learn, but I learned it. And now he's starting to reach points where I'm a bit timid about taking the step just as he seemed to be before.

On a more day to day basis. . . I go thru a sub frenzy every time work gets to be too much or I get too stressed out, anything where I've had to be tough and incharge for too long. It's not a position I like, being on top so to speak, and so it stresses me to no end. This weekend in particular I am desperate for some subbie time, and have sent the request to Master for some along with one to a friend of mine who sessions me every now and then. When I get this bad, like I am this weekend, all I can think about is getting on my knees and serving properly, being beaten until I'm in tears, and being bound and fucked until we both pass out....or something like that.

One of the things that I am most fond of in the lifestyle is that most people seem to hold themselves to a higher standard of class and civility than the general populations. In fact, one of the first things I learned as I was embarking on this journey is the importance of respecting one another's kink, regardless of whether or not we would partake in said kink. It takes all kinds to make this lifestyle what it is.

I also do not understand the antipathy that is frequently shown towards people who are learning of and beginning their journey in this lifestyle on-line while participating in an on-line message board.

If anything I post bothers anyone, feel free to ignore it. That is the beauty of Internet communication.

No one is ganging up on you, I was suggesting that if you want to praise each other, that the Cafe is the place to do it. This is the place for more serious discussion, like answering the original question, which I did.

We're actually a very friendly bunch of people, with a vast amount of experience both in real life & for many, online. We do welcome newbies, but we also worry a bit when they appear to be a bit over the top with it all.

The style of the writing, both yours & the original poster's, suggest youth & inexperience. With youth comes wild enthusiasm & optimism, wonderful stuff, but with online relationships this often leads to extreme disappointments for the heart & mind. Pick a page, almost any page, on this forum & you'll find a post from a heartbroken young online sub who believed & was hurt.

Everyone will wish you well, as do I, in your exploration of this lifestyle, but some things really should remain private talk between you & your Dom, or light hearted banter in the appropriate area.

ok..i am 29 years old (not that much of a 'youth') and my experience is 3 years, yes most of it online but as i've said many times we do also have real life experience. and i DID answer her questions, did you not see my answers? i wasn't aware that a little friendly banter here and there was not allowed between Dom and sub. we both post here, therefore we are both gonna have things to say to one another on the other's posts. we've done this since we started posting here and no one has complained. i'm sorry if what we said somehow 'offended' you or in some way you found it inappropriate but it's an ONLINE Forum, which to means as long as we are within the rules of the said Forum we are 'allowed' to post whatever, not every online relationship is 'fake' and i don't know who anyone is to say that my relationship isn't just as real as anyone else's simply because Him and i MET online, before we took it to 'real life'. my love and submission to/ for Him is just as deep as it would be if we had met anywhere else. and yes i agree there are pages that are full of those heartbroken girls who 'believed' in their Dom and then was let down, but i've also seen this happens in 'real life' too.....people don't only lie and deceive in the online world, all i was saying was the comments to her were a bit harsh in tellin her that she's being foolish for wanting to kneel in front of the computer. we all show our submission in different ways and what works for one may not work for the next but that does not make it wrong. and now that we've hijacked this thread with this foolishness, i'm going to stop and move on.

I've dealt with this issue, it does come up with those of inherently submissive orientation. You are a slave? You are certain of it? Then I shall point out the job description:

It's not about you.

He's too tired to dominate you, dammit? He doesn't order you to do the things you'd like him to order you to do in fantasy? If you're a slave that is a giant neon "tough" in lights. Your concern is

1. am I useful
2. am I obedient
3. am I in the way?

If I am dealing with too much of this kind of "may I be forced to lick your floors please" I push back hard. I will often tell H to go masturbate, and come back when he's ready to pay some attention to what I say.

Eh... I'm just in a bitter place relationship-wise. I apologize if my earlier post was less than gracious.

Honestly, I remember when Kailey_86 first started posting, and what I remember is an inexperienced, curious young woman (and virgin), who felt drawn the submissive side of BDSM.

4 months later I see a young woman who is so enamored of her online relationship, that she goes to the extreme of kneeling before the computer, to feel a deeper level of submission, towards someone I believe she has yet to meet. The relationship also appears to be polyamorous, if I read an earlier comment right, on the "where do you sleep" thread. (Cynical me, reads this as virgin + inexperienced submissive w/ sub frenzy + online relationship + multiple partners = possible train wreck.)

I consider the questions asked, and threads begun, to be a welcome addition to the forums, as they do spark conversation; however, I also read posts in threads such as this, with more than a small bit of concern, as (IMO) they reek of submissive frenzy, and I find myself worried (when the time comes), that the persons involved will be able to square reality, with the rosy world of theoretical BDSM, without too much damage done.

I remember what it was like when the world opened up for the first time... I remember believing my greatest desire, was to sit under his desk, chained by the ankle, available to serve his every whim, or to sleep on the floor beside his bed, and feeling that was my place/my utmost expression of submission/my best example of devoted service/the position I deserved as his submissive. Time/age has changed my perspective.

I wouldn't call it antipahy, as much as I would gaurded concern, sprinkled with a healthy dose of lovey-dovey-cutie-pie intolerance, BDSM style.

(As I said- I'm not in the lovliest place regarding relationships, period, so I know *my* ability to read through threads that digress into "OMG He's the best Master on the Planet!" / "OMG I can't wait to be/do _____ to prove my devotion" / "But Life is getting in the way of being dominated and it's just not FAIR!" without twitching, is quite low at the moment.)