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Old 11-24-2006, 09:00 PM   #151
Kailey_86
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i need to say something and this thread seems to be the appropriate place. i miss Him, i miss her...long distance relationships and living a double life is so hard. if i go a day without speaking to Him, i end up feeling lonely, separated, and disconnected. Is this unhealthy? i don't know. i need to live without His constant support though, i know that. i think it would be different if i were with Him physically though. If i were able to be more submissive, i think i would feel better. i am a slave to the very core of my being. That's it. Hands down. i need to live that life. Talking to Him is the only way to feel connected to what i crave so badly. i NEED it. It still seems so far away though. There are so many steps left. Will i ever be fulfilled? Will my desire for complete 100% domination and submission ever be satiated? *sigh*
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A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
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Last edited by Kailey_86 : 11-24-2006 at 09:06 PM.
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:14 PM   #152
the captians wench
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
i need to say something and this thread seems to be the appropriate place. i miss Him, i miss her...long distance relationships and living a double life is so hard. if i go a day without speaking to Him, i end up feeling lonely, separated, and disconnected. Is this unhealthy? i don't know. i need to live without His constant support though, i know that. i think it would be different if i were with Him physically though. If i were able to be more submissive, i think i would feel better. i am a slave to the very core of my being. That's it. Hands down. i need to live that life. Talking to Him is the only way to feel connected to what i crave so badly. i NEED it. It still seems so far away though. There are so many steps left. Will i ever be fulfilled? Will my desire for complete 100% domination and submission ever be satiated? *sigh*
I know just what you mean. Some times it's easier than others, some times harder; but it never really is easy. It's always misserable. But you learn how to cope. Me, I tend to send long ims or emails telling him how much I miss him and what I wish we were doing, and what requests I have for when we speak again. It helps.
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:30 PM   #153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the captians wench
I know just what you mean. Some times it's easier than others, some times harder; but it never really is easy. It's always misserable. But you learn how to cope. Me, I tend to send long ims or emails telling him how much I miss him and what I wish we were doing, and what requests I have for when we speak again. It helps.
Then i worry that i am being too clingy or that i will scare Him away. He says i worry too much, which i know i do. i haven't even met Him face to face yet and i have these intense feelings for Him. i think it worries Him a bit.
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ella ~ beloved pet ~ owned by J

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
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my Collarme profile
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:32 PM   #154
lil_slave_rose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
I know what you mean, I almost started crying when I displeased Master, and I never cry. I only have like 5 mins left though, gladly. But then I have much more to the punishment. I really messed up *sigh* it wasn't even worth it.
*nods* but we learn from our mistakes and i'm sure you will never do whatever it was you did, again.
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:33 PM   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_slave_rose
i prayed this year that my family would get along, i have this one sister who jsut HAS to make snide comments and ruin everything, but like i said i prayed hard this year, and i got what i wanted..there were NO arguments at all and it was a great day
Oh, that's so great to hear! I'm glad that your wishes were granted.
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Old 11-24-2006, 09:34 PM   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myinnerslut
[rant] i hate/depise with a fiery passion long distance relationships. i cant believe i ended up in one. it is one of the few things i truly cannot stand, and i am so sick of dealing with it. due to circumstances, and a few arguments, Sir and i have just cut back all of our D/s relations. now i am only allowed to act as his sub in a strictly sexual situation. not that we were ever 24/7 to begin with, but still. ARRRGGGGGG!!!!! i am just so frustrated. I HATE LDRs. i just want to be held, and sometimes i feel like i cant take another day without being with him [/rant]
aww..i'm sorry to hear of your issues with your Sir
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:35 PM   #157
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myinnerslut
[rant] i hate/depise with a fiery passion long distance relationships. i cant believe i ended up in one. it is one of the few things i truly cannot stand, and i am so sick of dealing with it. due to circumstances, and a few arguments, Sir and i have just cut back all of our D/s relations. now i am only allowed to act as his sub in a strictly sexual situation. not that we were ever 24/7 to begin with, but still. ARRRGGGGGG!!!!! i am just so frustrated. I HATE LDRs. i just want to be held, and sometimes i feel like i cant take another day without being with him [/rant]
:hug:
__________________
The crack of a whip,
The stroke of a cane,
Then the tenderest touch
To drive you insane.


~Hijacked from God-knows-where. (I honestly would give credit, but I don't know where I got it from)
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:38 PM   #158
lil_slave_rose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
i need to say something and this thread seems to be the appropriate place. i miss Him, i miss her...long distance relationships and living a double life is so hard. if i go a day without speaking to Him, i end up feeling lonely, separated, and disconnected. Is this unhealthy? i don't know. i need to live without His constant support though, i know that. i think it would be different if i were with Him physically though. If i were able to be more submissive, i think i would feel better. i am a slave to the very core of my being. That's it. Hands down. i need to live that life. Talking to Him is the only way to feel connected to what i crave so badly. i NEED it. It still seems so far away though. There are so many steps left. Will i ever be fulfilled? Will my desire for complete 100% domination and submission ever be satiated? *sigh*
the answer to your fulfilled question is YES. i know that sometimes it seems it will never be 'real' and i know the craving of needing to be submissive more than just a few times on the phone a day or everyother day or whatever. but i promise you, in the end it IS ALL worth it. don't give up and maybe you could discuss with Him your feelings and let Him know you need a little more? there may be alot of steps left but again they will all be worth it in the end. and here's somethin my subbie mentor told me when i was going through sub drop (i know you're not but i think it will still help) do EVERYTHING for Him..everything you do in a day, do it as though He has given you orders to do it, even down to taking a shower, cleaning your house, whatever, because ultimately it IS for Him..right? i find that if i go about my everyday 'chores' as i'm doing them for Master, they get done alot quicker AND i have that feeling of 'serving Him' does that make sense? good luck and if you need to talk i'm always here.....
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:40 PM   #159
lil_slave_rose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
Then i worry that i am being too clingy or that i will scare Him away. He says i worry too much, which i know i do. i haven't even met Him face to face yet and i have these intense feelings for Him. i think it worries Him a bit.
the type of relationship you're in begs for those intense feelings. this is normal in this type of relationship. the bond between D/s is one that transcends any relationship i've ever been in before. and as far as worrying too much, i believe that is all part of our submissive nature as well.....just my two cents..chin up and know you're not alone in your feelings
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 09:56 PM   #160
Kailey_86
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Thank you so much lil_slave_rose. i needed that. *hug*

i like your suggestion of doing everything as if He ordered it. i will try that.

i am impatient which just makes this all just a little bit harder. He is trying to teach me patience though. i will learn the hard way if i don't learn quickly though. Ahhh!
__________________
ella ~ beloved pet ~ owned by J

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

my Collarme profile
 

Old 11-24-2006, 10:01 PM   #161
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
Thank you so much lil_slave_rose. i needed that. *hug*

i like your suggestion of doing everything as if He ordered it. i will try that.

i am impatient which just makes this all just a little bit harder. He is trying to teach me patience though. i will learn the hard way if i don't learn quickly though. Ahhh!
*nods* and i know how you are feeling. sometimes my cravings to submit over power even my rational thought and i become a big blubbering puddle of mush. does that make sense? patience is something i've had to learn also. and rest assured if your Sir is nurturing your submission slowly, there IS a reason for it, it's not that He doesn't see ALL of your submission, it sounds like He knows what He's doing and teaching you patience will help alot trust me. again like i said..if you need to talk you can PM me anytime
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 10:13 PM   #162
Kailey_86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_slave_rose
*nods* and i know how you are feeling. sometimes my cravings to submit over power even my rational thought and i become a big blubbering puddle of mush. does that make sense? patience is something i've had to learn also. and rest assured if your Sir is nurturing your submission slowly, there IS a reason for it, it's not that He doesn't see ALL of your submission, it sounds like He knows what He's doing and teaching you patience will help alot trust me. again like i said..if you need to talk you can PM me anytime
Hehe, looks like we are going back and forth between threads here. Yes, He knows what He is doing. i need to remember that. Thanks for reminding me. Sometimes i just need to be grounded.
__________________
ella ~ beloved pet ~ owned by J

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

my Collarme profile
 

Old 11-24-2006, 10:16 PM   #163
lil_slave_rose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
Hehe, looks like we are going back and forth between threads here. Yes, He knows what He is doing. i need to remember that. Thanks for reminding me. Sometimes i just need to be grounded.
*giggles* sometimes we all need to be, glad i could be of help
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-24-2006, 11:29 PM   #164
the captians wench
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey_86
Then i worry that i am being too clingy or that i will scare Him away. He says i worry too much, which i know i do. i haven't even met Him face to face yet and i have these intense feelings for Him. i think it worries Him a bit.
*giggles* I know that too. I am very clingy, and very needy. I've worked on it, very diligently this year after asking him if he thought I was too needy and getting back a "sometimes" which was being generous to me. But it was the answer I was expecting (or actually I was expecting a flat out yes) so I asked him if he could deal with it, and he said yes and that's when I vowed to try not to be so needy.

I have a lot of abandonment issues that go back to my parents devorse and my relationship with my dad and then later the loss of my step father who raised me. So I tend to cling onto any man that enters my life. Even friends. I think I've come a long way, but I still have a lot further to go. But I'm not working on it alone.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-24-2006, 11:35 PM   #165
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Unhappy

Does anyone here have a Master with more than one sub? If so, how do you deal with it? My Master is considering taking another and it would really hurt my feelings if he did so, and I don't know what to do. I don't think he knows how badly it hurts me, but, I dunno.. maybe I'm just being selfish. I've never had much confidence to begin with, and when push came to shove with me up against another woman, I've always ran away.. what do I do?
 

Old 11-24-2006, 11:39 PM   #166
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
Does anyone here have a Master with more than one sub? If so, how do you deal with it? My Master is considering taking another and it would really hurt my feelings if he did so, and I don't know what to do. I don't think he knows how badly it hurts me, but, I dunno.. maybe I'm just being selfish. I've never had much confidence to begin with, and when push came to shove with me up against another woman, I've always ran away.. what do I do?
talk to Him about it. communication is key and if you feel like you can't even talk to Him about it and tell Him how much it would hurt you and have your feelings at least considered, i don't know i just couldn't fathom that kind of relationship. Master has talked about taking on another as well, and i'm not exactly keen on the idea either, i do know the final say is His, but i also know my fears and doubts matter and i can tell Him how i'm feeling. He's made it clear that if we do get a second, i will be His #1 and i will get to help in choosing her, and if i don't like her, don't get along with her , then He will not take her.....*shrugs* my only advise is talk to Him
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-25-2006, 12:18 AM   #167
the captians wench
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
Does anyone here have a Master with more than one sub? If so, how do you deal with it? My Master is considering taking another and it would really hurt my feelings if he did so, and I don't know what to do. I don't think he knows how badly it hurts me, but, I dunno.. maybe I'm just being selfish. I've never had much confidence to begin with, and when push came to shove with me up against another woman, I've always ran away.. what do I do?
While I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you what I would do and how I would feel.

As I've mentioned (on this page even lol) I'm very needy, it takes a good amount of his energy I imagine just to keep me mildly content. *giggles* If he had the same luck he'd be exhausted *giggles*.

But seriously, I would be very upset. I remember when he told me a girl he used to just boss around a bit on cam asked him to do so again while she was between doms. He came to me and talked to me about how I felt (I love him so much ). After talking about it for a while, I told him that I was okay with it as long as she knew I'm first girl. He's reply was "you're always first baby". (I love these ops to gush *giggles*)

My point is, you really should talk to him about how you feel. There is no reason why you should feel like you can't talk to him about this, and if you do feel like you can't, then I would question your relationship, if it were me anyway. I don't think you should feel obligated to just take what ever he says either. If it doesn't work for you it doesn't work. I'm a very jelous person, another full time girl in our relationship would not work for me. I would be misserable, hate her, and resent him. and neither of us want that.

That's what I thinkanyway
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-25-2006, 12:43 AM   #168
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Originally Posted by the captians wench
While I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you what I would do and how I would feel.

As I've mentioned (on this page even lol) I'm very needy, it takes a good amount of his energy I imagine just to keep me mildly content. *giggles* If he had the same luck he'd be exhausted *giggles*.

But seriously, I would be very upset. I remember when he told me a girl he used to just boss around a bit on cam asked him to do so again while she was between doms. He came to me and talked to me about how I felt (I love him so much ). After talking about it for a while, I told him that I was okay with it as long as she knew I'm first girl. He's reply was "you're always first baby". (I love these ops to gush *giggles*)

My point is, you really should talk to him about how you feel. There is no reason why you should feel like you can't talk to him about this, and if you do feel like you can't, then I would question your relationship, if it were me anyway. I don't think you should feel obligated to just take what ever he says either. If it doesn't work for you it doesn't work. I'm a very jelous person, another full time girl in our relationship would not work for me. I would be misserable, hate her, and resent him. and neither of us want that.

That's what I thinkanyway


We're very much alike
but you just nailed it on the head. I am miserable, and she isn't even his yet!
but what makes it worse is, she is one of my friends.
 

Old 11-25-2006, 12:47 AM   #169
lil_slave_rose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
We're very much alike
but you just nailed it on the head. I am miserable, and she isn't even his yet!
but what makes it worse is, she is one of my friends.
do you feel that you can't talk to Him about it? or that you having a problem with it somehow makes you less submissive? because i don't believe that is true and i believe that communication is the only way to go and like wench said, if you feel you can't talk to Him i'd be questioning the relationship..again my two cents for what it's worth
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-25-2006, 12:59 AM   #170
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_slave_rose
do you feel that you can't talk to Him about it? or that you having a problem with it somehow makes you less submissive? because i don't believe that is true and i believe that communication is the only way to go and like wench said, if you feel you can't talk to Him i'd be questioning the relationship..again my two cents for what it's worth
Yes! I really feel horrible to question my Master like this, if you'd call it questioning, but he and I are going to talk about it tonight, thank goodness. And thanks for all your help lil-slave-rose and captains wench. *phew*
 

Old 11-25-2006, 01:03 AM   #171
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
Yes! I really feel horrible to question my Master like this, if you'd call it questioning, but he and I are going to talk about it tonight, thank goodness. And thanks for all your help lil-slave-rose and captains wench. *phew*
good that you are going to talk about it tonight, and please know that you should not feel horrible about telling your feelings to the one you love Master/Dom or not, i don't think it's questioning Him at all rather than telling Him how you feel about something and i'm sure He would like to know how you're feeling. so that he does not do something that is ultimately going to hurt you, and/or put a strain on your relationship. be honest with him , that's always the best policy..good luck!
__________________
I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars

R.I.P. Daddy P
 

Old 11-25-2006, 01:50 AM   #172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
Doesn't time seem to go so much slower when you're being punished? >_< Especially for having a punishment like having a vibrator in your ass for an hour. I've had it in for about 30 mins, and it's seemed like days.
.....More so if the vibration is made to vary/modulate..tried? Pass this info on to your Master...

And yes, I guess by being a volunteer match maker you have sort of made your inbox full! lol

And this thread is going very active and if I miss it for a day there are scores of discussions...and with a new one for me, I am erratic in my visits and hope to make it more regular here...or I shall get my one to post here!

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Boobsqueeezer
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Old 11-25-2006, 02:08 AM   #173
boobsqueeezer
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Location: India
Posts: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luciden
Does anyone here have a Master with more than one sub? If so, how do you deal with it? My Master is considering taking another and it would really hurt my feelings if he did so, and I don't know what to do. I don't think he knows how badly it hurts me, but, I dunno.. maybe I'm just being selfish. I've never had much confidence to begin with, and when push came to shove with me up against another woman, I've always ran away.. what do I do?
When I was in discussion/screening, I always brought this up!

I brought this topic up and asked the prospective opyl(online pyl) about what if I choose to take another one! And this opyl that I have taken does not want to share Me. I accepted her and so I accepted her requirement and need....no more search...for another opyl (right now for various reasons I am not taking up a r/l pyl).

your PYL is your Guide, Mentor and Teacher in this lifestyle. And anything that you are uncomfortable in the lifestyle should be conveyed in appropriate terms and in an appropriate manner to the PYL! you should try talk or if you are feeling uneasy, you should write your thoughts and put it before your PYL for scrutiny. Just tell you PYL that you are uneasy about something and since you could NOT bring this topic up in words you have emailed/penned it!

There is no way other than frank open talk to a PYL ... And yes, make sure to know why exactly He needs another...is there something that you cant offer/do or satisfy Him?

Get to know all details and just be frank to your PYL

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Boobsqueeezer
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Old 11-25-2006, 02:12 AM   #174
boobsqueeezer
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Location: India
Posts: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_slave_rose
good that you are going to talk about it tonight, and please know that you should not feel horrible about telling your feelings to the one you love Master/Dom or not, i don't think it's questioning Him at all rather than telling Him how you feel about something and i'm sure He would like to know how you're feeling. so that he does not do something that is ultimately going to hurt you, and/or put a strain on your relationship. be honest with him , that's always the best policy..good luck!
Absolutely right....

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Boobsqueeezer
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Old 11-25-2006, 02:13 AM   #175
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
 
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: VA :)
Posts: 6,053
Quote:
Originally Posted by s_red830
:hug:

thanks so much... i need one of those
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i didnít think that I would fall
so far, so fast, but above all
in a cave of emptiness you found
my heart, beating upon the ground
you picked it up and helped me see
like puzzle pieces, you and me
your baby girl, your doll, your kitten
im Master's slave, and i am smitten


screwed into slavery by red hot penis power

my story: http://www.literotica.com:81/stories....php?id=283221

slavery: carved into my heart, branded into my soul, echoed on my body
 
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