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Old 11-21-2009, 10:40 PM   #6401
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Originally Posted by ecstaticsub View Post
You could ask him to spend a few minutes helping return you to mommy mode. Other than that I sometimes will spend a few minutes cleaning up my room taking some time to get back to reality. Or I will take some time to take a shower or bath to give myself some transition time.
That's how we handle it.

For the most part Jounar doesn't like leaving me until he knows that I'm okay and back to normal. But some times I need some extra. If he recognizes it before he leaves, or if I recoggnize it before he signs off then I'll ask permission to wear something warm and snuggly so that I feel that extra warmth. It makes me feel held by him even more.

If he has to leave before I'm fully back, then I will take a shower and cry or what ever I need to to get me back.

I've had some bad returns, so it's rare for Jounar to leave me with out making sure I'm okay, but it happens some times.
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

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Old 11-21-2009, 11:20 PM   #6402
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thanks ladies...

i'll try a luke warm shower maybe, i need to come back up quick

and how are we all this lovely weekend??
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Old 11-22-2009, 06:36 AM   #6403
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thanks ladies...

i'll try a luke warm shower maybe, i need to come back up quick

and how are we all this lovely weekend??
I think once you find something that works for you, you'll can "snap" out of it pretty quickly. A few years ago when I had a different job I sometimes take my lunch 30 minutes out in my car and talk to Daddy. We wouldn't have phone sex...I left my clotheson...but mentally we would get pretty deep. 30 minutes flies by in that kind of situation. I had to transition really quickly in those instances.

As far as how am I doing? Sucky to be honest. I hope everyone else's weekend is going better than mine.
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Old 11-22-2009, 08:02 AM   #6404
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As far as how am I doing? Sucky to be honest. I hope everyone else's weekend is going better than mine.
awww...what's up? you ok? i got the venting ears on...
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think in circles, walk in straight lines

Just fear me, love me, do as i say and i will be your slave the goblin king - the labryinth

warning - i like lame jokes.

you're hanging out with us now, dignity's got nothing to do with it! syd - ice age 1

For each ecstatic instant
We must an agony pay
In keen and quivering ratio
To the ecstasy
--- emily dickinson

slave of misterx1969
 

Old 11-22-2009, 10:10 AM   #6405
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thanks ladies...

i'll try a luke warm shower maybe, i need to come back up quick

and how are we all this lovely weekend??
The weekend is going pretty good, but in the background is the fact that yet another holiday is coming up without us being able to share it with each other. I mean we could, he is off, I am off, it is physically possible but....my family obligations and appearances stand in the way. I haven't been able to finish the unspoken task I know he wants me to do. It is complicated...and I feel I let him down. Holidays just make it worse....
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the world falls away, leaving us alone and suspended in an ocean of stars, we are the warm bright center of the universe.
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thrusting and straining, like and solar flare, we strive for that release, that burst of energy, love, emotion, that complete conjoining of our physical selves.
until, like a bursting supernova we explode as one
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We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing ....
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Old 11-22-2009, 06:06 PM   #6406
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thanks ladies...

i'll try a luke warm shower maybe, i need to come back up quick

and how are we all this lovely weekend??
I am ok... I am crossing my fingers that I will see Sir.. but things have been difficult lately with both of us... But someday we will look back on this and think it was nothing..

@hissexypet I know how you feel about the holiday we HAD plans to be together someone put a wrench in it.. so I know how you feel

I hope all you lovely ladies are able to have a great weekend..

@estaticsub BIG HUGS... I hope your better soon..
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Old 11-22-2009, 06:14 PM   #6407
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I'm glad to find this thread. Looks like I've got a lot of reading to do.
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Old 11-23-2009, 10:59 PM   #6408
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I had two dreams last night that were very similar in nature.

In the first one, my mom had to travel to London for work, and we stayed in Dublin for the majority of the time. We stopped at Jounar's place and while our mothers visited and made friends, he scolded me and told me that I should have given him more warning. That you just don't drop in on people the way I had.

In the second I was there with family again. This time I was sitting on a park bench when he walked up and sat next to me curling my into his lap. I asked how he knew I was there as I wasn't planing on telling him until later that evening. He said a friend of his saw me and told him where I was. This time he was much gentler, holding me in his arms and telling me that what I had done was not fair to him. That he was happy I was there, but that he had no time to prepare and he just wants my trips there to be perfect. I looked up at him with big doe eyes and told him that this was my idea of perfection, just being in his arms.

I know what's on my mind. I'm wanting to be there and pondering the consequences of just going with out him knowing, with out asking him even.

I just miss him, I miss feeling him next to me. I miss how happy he looked all of the time. He would look over at me and just light up. He was so happy to have me there.

It's been over a year, and still another 10 months to go. The date helps, but I'm just tired of spending so much of my time alone and with out him. *sigh*
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-24-2009, 02:07 AM   #6409
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awww ms Wench...

and sorry ms Sub, that your weekend was lousy....

virtual chocolate and a glass of red wine on their way to both of you...
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think in circles, walk in straight lines

Just fear me, love me, do as i say and i will be your slave the goblin king - the labryinth

warning - i like lame jokes.

you're hanging out with us now, dignity's got nothing to do with it! syd - ice age 1

For each ecstatic instant
We must an agony pay
In keen and quivering ratio
To the ecstasy
--- emily dickinson

slave of misterx1969
 

Old 11-24-2009, 03:53 AM   #6410
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Originally Posted by the captians wench View Post
I know what's on my mind. I'm wanting to be there and pondering the consequences of just going with out him knowing, with out asking him even.

I just miss him, I miss feeling him next to me. I miss how happy he looked all of the time. He would look over at me and just light up. He was so happy to have me there.

It's been over a year, and still another 10 months to go. The date helps, but I'm just tired of spending so much of my time alone and with out him. *sigh*
Wenchie, I'm talking from where I am just now because that's all I can do.

Long distance relationships by just text with occasional voice and video are very hard to sustain. For a sexual relationship to actually work you have to have actual sex, at least sometimes. I don't know how Joumar would react if you just landed on him. He very likely wouldn't like it. But if he rejected you it would be evidence that there wasn't very much in the relationship in the first place. It's kind of an acid test.

If I recall correctly you haven't actually touched him for two years. You cannot go on like that. My advice would be go and see him. He may reject you - I can't promise he won't. But if you don't go, what, actually, have you got?
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:06 AM   #6411
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Wenchie, I'm talking from where I am just now because that's all I can do.

Long distance relationships by just text with occasional voice and video are very hard to sustain. For a sexual relationship to actually work you have to have actual sex, at least sometimes. I don't know how Joumar would react if you just landed on him. He very likely wouldn't like it. But if he rejected you it would be evidence that there wasn't very much in the relationship in the first place. It's kind of an acid test.

If I recall correctly you haven't actually touched him for two years. You cannot go on like that. My advice would be go and see him. He may reject you - I can't promise he won't. But if you don't go, what, actually, have you got?
Just one year, heh, just. I was there last october but do to some financial and some family difficulties we had to post pone the trips I had planed for this year.

What holds me back isn't fear of rejection. I simply do not want to put him through any more stress than what he already has. This year hasn't been an easy one for him, or me, for many reasons none of which have to do with us. If it were just rejection I feared I'd be there in a heartbeat because I have no doubt in my mind that he wants me there, that he wouldn't out right reject me. But me visiting that way would be a double edged sword. I would be out right defying his instructions, something I've never done before. Not to mention the expence. It really would not be good to spend so much money and have a rain cloud over my visit, and a surprize would be one big cloud.

I miss him terribly. I miss sex terribly. But I love him more than myself, my needs, and what I miss. He's not a part of my life, he is my life. He's the air I breath and the water I drink. He's my everything, and my job in this life is to make his life as easy and stress free as I can, not add to it.

I want to jump a plane and just show up at his door step. I've been so close to booking a ticket and just doing it. But every time I get ready to click I see his disapointed face. That's what I fear, what drives me. I can not stand the thought of dissapointing him. It inmobilizes me. I wish it were just rejection I feared.

It's hard, and at times misserable, but we've been together 4 years and only been hand in hand once. We have so much more than I can even discribe, and I have no doubt in my mind that our seperation will end eventually.

I am having more down time lately, but it has mostly to do with things that are going on in my life and very little to actually do with him or us. My world is changing dramatically and I don't like it, so I'm clinging on to the one change I wish for myself.

If he weren't a 14 hour combination of flights away from me, I'd be a lot more tempted to just do it and face his wrath when I got there. But to spend a couple grand just to spend the week with him disapointed in me, that seems like a waste of money.

It's not all about me, as much as I sometimes want it to be. It's about us, and making sure the time is right for us. And right now, it just isn't.
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-24-2009, 07:00 AM   #6412
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Wenchie, I'm talking from where I am just now because that's all I can do.

Long distance relationships by just text with occasional voice and video are very hard to sustain. For a sexual relationship to actually work you have to have actual sex, at least sometimes. I don't know how Joumar would react if you just landed on him. He very likely wouldn't like it. But if he rejected you it would be evidence that there wasn't very much in the relationship in the first place. It's kind of an acid test.

If I recall correctly you haven't actually touched him for two years. You cannot go on like that. My advice would be go and see him. He may reject you - I can't promise he won't. But if you don't go, what, actually, have you got?
That is all very sound advice, only if it is possible. I love how wenchie answered "I simply do not want to put him through any more stress than what he already has."

My online relationship lasts for 3 full years. I never met him face to face. Took me about a year only to get to eventual possibility of entering any kind of relationship with him, another year to allow possibility of actual meeting and taking it further. Not because I am married, my marriage is going downhill and funny enough not because of sex, there are other things.
The main problem with my LD guy is - I am 46. He is 25. Now I will not talk about how smart and special and all that jazz he is, the thing is the age difference does bother me. That is why it took 2 years to basically allow myself to think about him as something more than a friend.

I have my reasons why I didnt split with my husband asap, it will take another couple of months at least. Can you imagine what this kind of situation must feel for 25 yo no matter how mature he is? I made him promise that if he gets any kind of chance to have sex, date, whatever, with somebody else, not to miss that chance because of me. He said "fine" but it never happened. Not only he is waiting for me but he is supporting me in my own moods and problems. When my Father died he was basically the only one I had to lift me up from serious depression. Sexually he is not even submissive (what doesnt mean he could take waiting easier, but I think it would make me feel less guilty, maybe).
Just couple of days ago he told me something similar to what wench said here "I would give anything in the world to be able to see you, but I dont want to put you through any more stress. I will wait however it takes".

Sometimes it is just not very smart thing to simply come and visit somebody. If he came over he would get me in trouble, plain and simple. I am not saying it would kill our relationship but I would maybe ask myself if he is actually the right person for me.
Of course, there is always option of splitting apart if the waiting is something one cant bear anymore. In my case he says its just not an option for him. Long distance is so damn hard, no matter who is the one "guilty" for not making it real.
Now when I read all that wenchie said here I feel like crap even more than usual
 

Old 11-24-2009, 08:46 AM   #6413
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to ms wench and ms kat

honestly don't know how either of you aren't screaming the house the down. my sincere good thoughts go out to both of you...

ms wench...the others are right (well ms kat)...you may not want to stress him out...and i think we mostly understand that. especially given what i've read from both of you on both the emotional issues and other clues and hints about personal difficulties. but maybe going there, then calling him from a hotel to give him the choice whether he can or can't maybe wouldn't be a bad option. if he decides no then it sounds like you have other family / concerns that you could do there instead...but i reckon he'd likely drop everything for you and be glad afterwards he did. i'm an impetuous little sod on occasion...and if He really needed me so bad that He rocked up at my door tomorrow...so be it. i wouldn't be happy per se, but it's not about me at that point.

ms kat...wow..that's some boy you've got there...don't feel bad, he's old enough to know exactly what he wants. if he wants you and is willing to wait for you then let him. you owe yourself the shot at someone who is devoted to you and he deserves to be allowed to feel however he wants about you.

that's my very humble two cents anyway....sorry.

and has anyone heard from ms sub?? she sounded pretty down and grumpy from when she last posted in....
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think in circles, walk in straight lines

Just fear me, love me, do as i say and i will be your slave the goblin king - the labryinth

warning - i like lame jokes.

you're hanging out with us now, dignity's got nothing to do with it! syd - ice age 1

For each ecstatic instant
We must an agony pay
In keen and quivering ratio
To the ecstasy
--- emily dickinson

slave of misterx1969

Last edited by insert____here : 11-24-2009 at 08:52 AM.
 

Old 11-24-2009, 10:18 AM   #6414
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Kat, you are not alone in the age difference. B is 29 and i am 49. We have been doing the LDR for 4 years. I am in the same boat as you in as far as the failed marriage and not being able to end it quickly. I feel I have let Him down. We had a break of 10 months in which we both saw other people. But we were drawn back to each other. We are soulmates. I was meant to be His. Soon we will be together...weeks He keeps reminding me.

I say this to give y'all hope. Everything happens for a reason. Our break made us stronger in ourselves, gave us time to find our true relationship, gave us time to realize how much the other means to us.

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose
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the world falls away, leaving us alone and suspended in an ocean of stars, we are the warm bright center of the universe.
a pair of eternal celestial bodies riding the comsic waves of our love, casting an aurora borealus around with the burning shining energy of our love shines out like sunrays.
thrusting and straining, like and solar flare, we strive for that release, that burst of energy, love, emotion, that complete conjoining of our physical selves.
until, like a bursting supernova we explode as one
~ BlitzKreiger

We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing ....
NEVER Be The First To Get Old!
 

Old 11-24-2009, 11:52 AM   #6415
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<<snip>>

It's not all about me, as much as I sometimes want it to be. It's about us, and making sure the time is right for us. And right now, it just isn't.
I can totally relate to this. Daddy and I are only 6 hours away from each other now but we haven't seen each other since around July. We probably won't get together until January.

Of course, we would love to be able to drop everything and meet somewhere in the middle, get a hotel and not come out for a week. But that's not reality.

LDR's get a bad rep and are called "fantasy" . From my own experience and from reading this thread I think we are very grounded in reality, painfully so.

My situation is a million times easier for you wenchie and most others because I am happily married. I go to bed everynight in the arms of someone who loves me and who I love. It does make it much easier.

But I still miss Daddy so much, I miss his arms around me. He is taller than me, bigger than me, his arms and body totally wrap around me and I feel his power and awesome strength and tremble then look into his eyes and see so much love, compassion and tenderness. I can't help but melt and sink to my knees....that..that feeling is what I miss the most and which I can not get at home.

I would never, ever just show up in his town. He would be angry and I would have gone through the expense for nothing.
And that is just the expense of gas money and a hotel and a day off work.

He is much better at accepting this reality than I am. I won't lie...it has caused problems in our relationship. Very recently as a matter of fact. But then we have a morning like this morning. We talked, then played for about 3 hours. No, it's not the same as in person...but it is damn good. Sexually and emotionally. I will be smiling for a week (it'll get me through the holidays with relatives lol )

I usually have a total meltdown once a winter. I just had it, and we survived. It was minor is comparison to the last few years but once again it reconfirmed how committed we both are to each other. Also, hopefully I won't have another this winter, hopefully we really can get together in Jan and make sure another meltdown won't happen.

Big hugs to all my LDR friends!
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:07 PM   #6416
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good to see you're back and smiling ms sub.
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Just fear me, love me, do as i say and i will be your slave the goblin king - the labryinth

warning - i like lame jokes.

you're hanging out with us now, dignity's got nothing to do with it! syd - ice age 1

For each ecstatic instant
We must an agony pay
In keen and quivering ratio
To the ecstasy
--- emily dickinson

slave of misterx1969
 

Old 11-24-2009, 12:22 PM   #6417
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Well.

Hes disappeared. Off the face of the planet.

I know hes not dead, I didn't for almost a week. I even buckled under, rang his work and made some bullshit story up to find out if he WAS still alive. I was totally beside myself.

It turns out his wife found his mobile phone. Other than that I have no idea whats going on. He phoned me and whispered down the phone that he loved me but that was almost 2 weeks ago now.

Then the phone calls started....incessant, constant to my mobile phone. No choice but to change the number. Its changed now.

So I dont know where he is. I dont know if hes going to get in touch again. I dont know if thats the end.

I just want to know....
 

Old 11-24-2009, 12:35 PM   #6418
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good to see you're back and smiling ms sub.
Thank you.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:41 PM   #6419
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Well.

Hes disappeared. Off the face of the planet.

I know hes not dead, I didn't for almost a week. I even buckled under, rang his work and made some bullshit story up to find out if he WAS still alive. I was totally beside myself.

It turns out his wife found his mobile phone. Other than that I have no idea whats going on. He phoned me and whispered down the phone that he loved me but that was almost 2 weeks ago now.

Then the phone calls started....incessant, constant to my mobile phone. No choice but to change the number. Its changed now.

So I dont know where he is. I dont know if hes going to get in touch again. I dont know if thats the end.

I just want to know....
Damn. That totally sucks. Did you meet here? Does he have other ways to contact you--email etc other than the phone?

Let the dust settle. Give it time, maybe lots of time. Let he and his wife figure out if this is going to end their marriage or how it will change their marriage.

If he was a decent guy at all he will find a way to contact you eventually even if to just say "I'm sorry, we have to end". For now just be patient and wait.

He should have password protected his phone. My husband knows about Daddy but I still clear the text history all the time and phone history. I will not take the chance that my kids may find something.

Really big hugs for you...I hope you hear something soon.
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Old 11-24-2009, 01:55 PM   #6420
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ms kat...wow..that's some boy you've got there...don't feel bad, he's old enough to know exactly what he wants. if he wants you and is willing to wait for you then let him. you owe yourself the shot at someone who is devoted to you and he deserves to be allowed to feel however he wants about you.
Thank you. Yes, I have one very precious boy, I am indeed grateful for that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HisSexyPet View Post
Kat, you are not alone in the age difference. B is 29 and i am 49. We have been doing the LDR for 4 years. I am in the same boat as you in as far as the failed marriage and not being able to end it quickly. I feel I have let Him down. We had a break of 10 months in which we both saw other people. But we were drawn back to each other. We are soulmates. I was meant to be His. Soon we will be together...weeks He keeps reminding me.

I say this to give y'all hope. Everything happens for a reason. Our break made us stronger in ourselves, gave us time to find our true relationship, gave us time to realize how much the other means to us.

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose
Wow thanks, you sure made me feel less like I am robbing a cradle

We never made any breaks, mainly because he wouldnt hear about that. I offered it I because I felt like failing him as well and I thought I owed him a chance of trying to find more suitable relationship. He just said no. Cant argue with someone more stubborn than yourself. 25 and he is capable of handling my temper, something no man of no age ever managed in my life.....
 

Old 11-24-2009, 02:04 PM   #6421
Lady_Fiona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ecstaticsub View Post
Damn. That totally sucks. Did you meet here? Does he have other ways to contact you--email etc other than the phone?

Let the dust settle. Give it time, maybe lots of time. Let he and his wife figure out if this is going to end their marriage or how it will change their marriage.

If he was a decent guy at all he will find a way to contact you eventually even if to just say "I'm sorry, we have to end". For now just be patient and wait.

He should have password protected his phone. My husband knows about Daddy but I still clear the text history all the time and phone history. I will not take the chance that my kids may find something.

Really big hugs for you...I hope you hear something soon.
No...we didnt actually meet here, but my joining lit was not far behind.

The only other way he can contact me is online, but the only computer he has access to is at work so until hes in, I won't hear anything.

I'm not expecting to hear anything anytime soon tbh. He should have done a lot of things never mind password protect....if he had just been open about owning a phone it would have cut the suspicions down by 99% to begin with.

I'll wait. But I hate not knowing for how long.
 

Old 11-24-2009, 07:27 PM   #6422
the captians wench
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Thanks every one.

Honestly it's really not very possible for me to just drop in on him. I'm in Ohio USA and he's in Ireland, not exactly a weekend trip kind of travel. So I'm limited to only being able to go durring my vacation time, which I have to put in a year in advance. It's not that easy to just drop in on him in the first place.

Jounar is 39 and I'm 26. He's never had a relationship last longer than 6 months, and I've been married and devorced. He lost his father just before my last trip was scheduled, and his mother isn't in the best condition. Me dropping in and him feeling responcible for showing me a good time (whether I expect him to or not) is just unnessisary stress.

I just miss him, it's always hard durring the holidays. I love him, and like I said I have no doubt that our distance will end with me on his side of the pond, but the time will need to be right for both of us.

Oh, and he's the only thing I have over there. No other friends or family other than his mom. I'm sure I could find things to do, and I'm sure my mom would love to tag along, but with out him, my trip to Dublin just wouldn't have held the same magic.
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Quote:
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-24-2009, 07:52 PM   #6423
insert____here
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sounds like everyone has the holiday blues...
nothing worse than holidays without those we need the most.
can't offer anything to you all except heartfelt expression of sorry. and here's hoping that santa is kinder to everyone next year.

to ms fiona... can't even begin to imagine how horrible this is for you. sending all my spare good thoughts your way. hope you get a resolution soon, one way or another.
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For each ecstatic instant
We must an agony pay
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To the ecstasy
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slave of misterx1969
 

Old 11-24-2009, 10:09 PM   #6424
the captians wench
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My holiday blues are only partly due to not spending them with Jounar.

My holidays are changing. My mom is living with her folks, and my bother and his lot are out in Kansas, so the traditions I always relied on are just not happening this year. It kind of has me bummed a little.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

writings of a true lady
Jounar's fat bottomed slut
And proud owner of his cock.
 

Old 11-25-2009, 12:01 PM   #6425
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Well I guess a lot of us are suffering through the holiday blues.

Master is spending time with his Wife, Kids and other family. And that is just as it should be.

I cannot help but miss him though.

Hugs to everyone.
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