The unlikely switch

This is a question for those of us who tend to stay on one end of the BDSM spectrum.

Do you have any experiences or fantasies where switching in one form or another comes into play?

As far as pain play goes, I'm not opposed to switching. I have limited experience, but I can enjoy being whipped, etc.

However, I very rarely sub in the traditional sense. A few experiences which I found thrilling though:

1. Once, at my very first play party, I started talking to this Domme. She decided to take me under her wing and said we could have some fun together. I was very nervous, but she seemed very familiar with the scene, so I was enthused to ride her coattails. She approached a pretty young sub and asked her if she wanted to play with us. We went off to a private room where the Domme instructed me on just how to beat and molest this little girl, doing very little of the touching herself.

The Domme was a smaller woman, and there was something about being her agent of discipline that really got me going. I enjoyed following her commands as a sort of BDSM foot soldier. Also, doing things I wanted to do was much easier when I was just following orders, like "take your dick out. make her suck it."

2. Every once in a while my sub will get violent with me. She can have a temper, and occasionally I'll push her to that point just to see her pop. I take sort of a dom/top enjoyment out of knowing I can flip things whenver I want, and I do enjoy reeling her back in when its time. But I also take a sort of subby enjoyment out of seeing her unleash her oft reserved fury on me. It turns me on to see her so passionate while she chokes me or scratches me.


Anyone else?

The Domme was a smaller woman, and there was something about being her agent of discipline that really got me going. I enjoyed following her commands as a sort of BDSM foot soldier. Also, doing things I wanted to do was much easier when I was just following orders, like "take your dick out. make her suck it."


hot hot hot hot hot

hot hot
hot


hot hot

Oh uh

hm.

Every time I'm in a room with lots and lots of gay male tops I really really bum on not having a penis.

There's something about Dominant male energy that is not interrupted in any form by what the dude would like to do to my pussy that really really turns me on. However this is a fantasy that would take so much energy and work to fulfill, and it just doesn't take that kind of precedence in my world.

NO one else will cop to it?

Bullshit.

Everyone deserves a spanking at some point.

There are a couple names I'd really like to see in this thread.

I have, on occasion. really, really, REALLY wanted to punch K. Does that count?

graceanne said:

I have, on occasion. really, really, REALLY wanted to punch K. Does that count?

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Only if it makes you wet to think about it.

The only time I ever feel really toppy is if I get a power rush, usually these come from when I play Absolute Annihilation and really kick someone's ass. Anyway, I will often think of a really cute andrognyn boy or CD and get somewhat toppy then, assuming I have said power rush. I don't ever think of girls when I get toppy, which is wierd. I do know one such androgyn boy that I work with (eff he's cute!) but he smokes, which makes me sad.

Haha, Adrenalin rushes from video games, I am such a geek.

Marquis said:

Only if it makes you wet to think about it.

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Nope. Just mad (cause I get thinking about why I wanted to punch him - still think he deserved to have a facer). hm I'll think on it, see if I can think of times I got switchy.

I underwent a bit of a transformation that was kind of a unique experience for me. It has been a few years now since I have made peace with my inner sadist to a large extent. Since that time I haven't really had any desire to bottom for pain. However before that, I definately had a build up over time, once or twice a year where I had strong desires for a good whipping.

I attributed much of it to not dealing with the feelings that came along with wanting to be and do sadistic things. Once I made peace with that, I haven't felt any desire or build up for it since.

I've tied him up on his request a short time ago and then teased him a lot. It was fun, but more in a power rush/look what I can make him do kind of way and *for me* not that sexually arousing.

I can be bossy and assertive when working with other people but in terms of D/s the idea of switching has no appeal.

Several people at the local munch feel its only a matter of time before I switch but its not for me at all.

Even when joking around I never want to actually 'top' or 'Dom' him or anyone else.

If I wanted to do that I would go back to my vanilla life.



I have a friend who states she has switched from sub to dom.

She has been with a married Dom for about 2 yrs, recently (due to a whole host of reasons) they have decided to swop roles.
She is assertive in vanilla life and her job calls for a high level of being in control of situations.
I was talking to her about this change and she said that if she was providing all he needed maybe he would leave his wife.

Well, he never left when she was a submissive, so I don't see it happeneing now.
Nor do I see her switch as a real wish to Dom, more a wish to please him.
OTOH, what do I know? I am not there when they switch nor when they are together.
She may have found her true calling in life.

...........

I guess for me I don't identify it as switching because it is done as an order from him, not a desire of mine or a way I get a sexual thrill. I have had my share of being the one in control both personally and sexually in my vanilla days when it was necessary, and even performed what could be classed as pure ravishment of a hunky young thing though he was already willing and expecting to get sex, just not in a way where he was definately subject to my control. It didn't arouse me sexually, he did that all on his own just by being him, but the look on his face when he was pulled through the door and stripped naked on the floor before being taken without a word was priceless. The control was fun to play with in that relationship, and he learned a lot, but it was not what I needed or craved, it just seemed the best way it would work for us.

The situations where F has ordered me to top another have been interesting and a learning experience from a number of angles. I have learned more about my own submission while also finding there is so much more I don't understand, I learned more about his role as a Dominant and a sadist and the feelings of responsibility and protectiveness toward the submissive, I learned I could be sadistic and in a positive way which was almost healing, and I learned that when pushed in a direction I had no inclination to go in I could do it as a form of service to him and from a place in my submission without appearing submissive or inept to the onlooker or recipient of my sadism. I do not get a sexual thrill from topping, but I do get a sense of accomplishment in that I have stretched myself and succeeded, and I have given both F and the submissive something they wanted and needed.

Being submissive and a masochist made the task so much easier once I accepted it...it became a matter of finding people who sought similar things to me as masosubs, and whose drive came from a similar position and then just going with how that need could be fed the best way. I was surprised I was not afraid of hurting them...perhaps that was gained from knowing it from the other side of the whip so to speak, knowing what they were expecting or hoping for and had experienced, and having a fair amount of knowledge in regard to safety in what I was doing. Communication also helped in that I felt confident they understood they had to use their safe word if and when necessary, not try and bluff their way through. LOL, so far as much as I have drawn blood with those involved, they have not safeworded nor appeared to regret it. I guess a portion of my fascination with doing it successfully also lies in my insatiable curiosity with the human body and how it reacts, works, responds in a variety of circmstances. Most misunderstand that curiosity for desire, but it is purely only a desire for knowledge and experimentation, nothing more or less.

Catalina

shy slave said:

I can be bossy and assertive when working with other people but in terms of D/s the idea of switching has no appeal..

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Same here . I am very strong on job and I have to be but I haven't a single drop of dominant blood in my veins nor I have the desire to prove this statement for now .

I am still outlining my submissive identity at the moment but if one day my Master should ask me to investigate this different area, although with some wariness and reservation I would accept it . Never say never is my favourite motto after all.

As shy and babiesmiles have said, being assertive and 'Alpha' in day to day job related activities doesn't always transfer over. I'm very much the same, and since I lead projects at work, now, I've gotten even more freedom to direct others' work. I've been the more aggressive one in a relationship before, but it left me unfulfilled. So, I left.

Marquis said:

This is a question for those of us who tend to stay on one end of the BDSM spectrum.

Do you have any experiences or fantasies where switching in one form or another comes into play?

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I was sitting across the table from her one night, eating dinner. She was chatting about her day, and I gradually stopped paying attention to her words and began to focus on her. The way her face changed as she became more animated.... the unconscious movement she made when brushing back her hair from her face....

At some point she became aware of my focus and stopped speaking. She looked up at me with an expression that was at once curious, trusting, amorous, and slightly embarrassed by the intensity of my gaze. Then she blushed, and a slow, soft smile spread across her face.

And in that instant, I knew. Though I had no idea how the hell it had happened, one thing was perfectly clear. Where there once had been a single vulnerable person in the room, now there were two.

Since that day, I have known that I am a Dom in the sense of tangible expression - but a switch at heart. Yes, this arouses me. And it makes sex exponentially more fantastic.

Marquis said:

There are a couple names I'd really like to see in this thread.

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Perhaps if you name them they will come.
But then there's been other posts...
Did they already?

...........

Yes, it's very nice, but I don't think it has anything to do with switching.

The lack of genuine participation in this thread is most disappointing.

...........

There are times when I miss the mother energy, the Ozma figure in grecian robes and sandals with a silver star glowing on her brow. I'd like to lay my head in a lap sometimes.

...........

Marquis said:

Yes, it's very nice, but I don't think it has anything to do with switching.

The lack of genuine participation in this thread is most disappointing.

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Now now, don't you go joining the pouty group who sit and wallow in their misery when they ask a question expecting a specific answer that just may not come as imagined, but is real in all its disappointing outcomes!!

Catalina

Quint said:

<snip> Where's RisiaSkye when you need her?

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Hell and gone from the net, generally. If she were still a regular poster, she might've stayed away from posting in this thread specifically due to this opening line (The reason I've stayed out of it, truth to tell.) :

Marquis said:

This is a question for those of us who tend to stay on one end of the BDSM spectrum.
<snip>

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Since, like me, she identifies as a switch, that kind of disqualifies either of us.