Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
It is a pretty well acknowledged fact that I am fascinated with the personality types that are attracted to relationships with high power differentials.
Who are subs and who are doms, at their core? What are we made of? How are we different from the vanilla populace?
I don't think mere awareness of intelligently regulated forms of BDSM is the defining difference. Most of us sought out BDSM because of our pre-existing desires, not the other way around.
I've attempted to explore this phenomenon in threads about the relationships between pimps and their prostitutes, and batterers and their abused partners. This is somewhat a continuation of ideas I've proposed in those threads, which can be found here:
Pimps
Abuse
I am introducing this as a new thread because I want to explore this independently of some of the tangential arguments that came up in the earlier threads. I also think both of those threads have a lot of life left in them, and want to give them their own opportunity to grow in their own directions.
I now want to propose for your consideration a pet theory that I've been ruminating for sometime, that I have come to call the Angel/Devil complex. I think it helps tie in a lot of the behaviors we see in high power differential relationships (HPDRs) in an empirically logical manner, and may serve as heuristically valuable for a greater understanding of the individuals that are compelled towards HPDRs.
An earlier attempt to understand this phenomenon showed Dominance as an essentially masculine characteristic, while submissiveness as essentially feminine. People attracted to HPDRs were then, often people with an unusually high adherence to the impulses of their gender. They were essentially, extremely sexist, from a biological/psychological standpoint, not a social or political one.
While I think there is often a correlation there, I don't think it's quite "tight" enough to show causation. Even trying to discount the existence of female dominants and male submissives as aberrant or reactive/rebellious does not truly present a cogent understanding of this phenomenon.
I now propose the theory that submissives are attracted to the "Angel" archetype, while dominants are attracted to the "Devil' archetype.
Immediate proof of this is present at a first glance observation of BDSM art, which often depicts demonic characters in positions of sexual dominance over angelic characters. Further proof of this aesthetic attraction can be found in the costumes often seen at fetish parties or costume parties, with tops dressed as demonic figures and bottoms dressed as angelic figures. Further evidence can often be seen in the avatars and handles chosen by members of this forum.
I think the correlation goes much deeper than this however.
I think the relationship between these two characters largely parallels its religious representation. Both being necessary and even symbiotic to the maintenace of order within a diverse universe.
The Angel represents purity and serenity. Angels (both the cultural archetype and the personality type I'm describing) are healers, nurturers and caregivers. They represent selflessness and sacrifice. Some positive characteristics of Angels can be found in their tolerance, their humility and their ability to remain loving and innocent in the face of adversity.
Angels are quintessentially masochistic in that their strength lies in what they can endure.
The Devil represents egoism, independence and a will to power. Devils are warriors and dictators, accepting (sometimes reluctantly, often enthusiastically) the responsibility for "distasteful" but necessary action. They represent human desires like lust, greed and territoriality.
Devils are quintessentially sadistic in that their strength lies in what they can force others to endure.
It is thus my proposition that people attracted to HPDRs (which, if you haven't figured it out, is just a way of saying BDSM without having to put up with the ethical stigma that has become intrinsic to the simple acronym) are often found to have a personality complex that causes them to identify with one of the aforementioned archetypes.
Here are a few examples of mysterious phenomenon that this theory may help explain:
1. The paradox of submissives wanting to be "forced" to do things they enjoy, and enjoying things they are "forced" to do
2. The paradox of dominants wanting to earn the affection of their partners by torturing them
3. The achievement of intimacy through objectification
If this theory can hold water, and perhaps gain some strength, maybe it can be used to begin answering the ubiquitous questions of how we got this way, and is it healthy.
Who are subs and who are doms, at their core? What are we made of? How are we different from the vanilla populace?
I don't think mere awareness of intelligently regulated forms of BDSM is the defining difference. Most of us sought out BDSM because of our pre-existing desires, not the other way around.
I've attempted to explore this phenomenon in threads about the relationships between pimps and their prostitutes, and batterers and their abused partners. This is somewhat a continuation of ideas I've proposed in those threads, which can be found here:
Pimps
Abuse
I am introducing this as a new thread because I want to explore this independently of some of the tangential arguments that came up in the earlier threads. I also think both of those threads have a lot of life left in them, and want to give them their own opportunity to grow in their own directions.
I now want to propose for your consideration a pet theory that I've been ruminating for sometime, that I have come to call the Angel/Devil complex. I think it helps tie in a lot of the behaviors we see in high power differential relationships (HPDRs) in an empirically logical manner, and may serve as heuristically valuable for a greater understanding of the individuals that are compelled towards HPDRs.
An earlier attempt to understand this phenomenon showed Dominance as an essentially masculine characteristic, while submissiveness as essentially feminine. People attracted to HPDRs were then, often people with an unusually high adherence to the impulses of their gender. They were essentially, extremely sexist, from a biological/psychological standpoint, not a social or political one.
While I think there is often a correlation there, I don't think it's quite "tight" enough to show causation. Even trying to discount the existence of female dominants and male submissives as aberrant or reactive/rebellious does not truly present a cogent understanding of this phenomenon.
I now propose the theory that submissives are attracted to the "Angel" archetype, while dominants are attracted to the "Devil' archetype.
Immediate proof of this is present at a first glance observation of BDSM art, which often depicts demonic characters in positions of sexual dominance over angelic characters. Further proof of this aesthetic attraction can be found in the costumes often seen at fetish parties or costume parties, with tops dressed as demonic figures and bottoms dressed as angelic figures. Further evidence can often be seen in the avatars and handles chosen by members of this forum.
I think the correlation goes much deeper than this however.
I think the relationship between these two characters largely parallels its religious representation. Both being necessary and even symbiotic to the maintenace of order within a diverse universe.
The Angel represents purity and serenity. Angels (both the cultural archetype and the personality type I'm describing) are healers, nurturers and caregivers. They represent selflessness and sacrifice. Some positive characteristics of Angels can be found in their tolerance, their humility and their ability to remain loving and innocent in the face of adversity.
Angels are quintessentially masochistic in that their strength lies in what they can endure.
The Devil represents egoism, independence and a will to power. Devils are warriors and dictators, accepting (sometimes reluctantly, often enthusiastically) the responsibility for "distasteful" but necessary action. They represent human desires like lust, greed and territoriality.
Devils are quintessentially sadistic in that their strength lies in what they can force others to endure.
It is thus my proposition that people attracted to HPDRs (which, if you haven't figured it out, is just a way of saying BDSM without having to put up with the ethical stigma that has become intrinsic to the simple acronym) are often found to have a personality complex that causes them to identify with one of the aforementioned archetypes.
Here are a few examples of mysterious phenomenon that this theory may help explain:
1. The paradox of submissives wanting to be "forced" to do things they enjoy, and enjoying things they are "forced" to do
2. The paradox of dominants wanting to earn the affection of their partners by torturing them
3. The achievement of intimacy through objectification
If this theory can hold water, and perhaps gain some strength, maybe it can be used to begin answering the ubiquitous questions of how we got this way, and is it healthy.
