Ideas for non-physical punishment

I've found my submissive one to be not all that responsive to physical punishment. While a hard spanking will often send other submissives straight into the subby mindset, my primary partner tends to get agitated and frustrated. Not that I always mind putting her in that state, it just doesn't seem to be the most productive form of discipline.

Anyway, I've explored some other tactics that have been much more effective, and I was wondering if anyone else had ideas to add to my bag of tricks. My recent favorite has been having her lie down silently with her hands clasped behind her back for a set period of time, usually 5 minutes. I set a kitchen timer and when the chime goes off she may ask to stand up. It seems to counter her feistyness well and calms her down, perfect for the mediocre transgression. Some others I occasionally use are:

1. Cold shower for a set period of time.

2. Writing an essay.

As you can see, my list is way too short.

I've also tried diet control with more limited success. I think its important for the punishment to be something that the submissive will avoid, but also something they can accept. There are lots of punishments she will physically submit to, but internally rebel against, and that's precisely what I'm looking to avoid.

Have you tried silence?

saw_man1 said:

Have you tried silence?

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Seems to me that silence on its own would only have a significant effect over prolonged periods, which encroaches on my enjoyment of conversing with my submissive. I'm a big fan of punishments that require little to no sacrifice on my part.

Plan B

Have you considered denying her the pleasure of serving you?

Of course this would require some small sacrifice on your part.

Marquis does she care she has disappointed you ?

If so, carefully ,quietly tell her........make eye contact .

Careful however the tone / punishment fits the trangression.

Is she doesn't care...........punishments not your biggest issue.

(BTW good to see you around Marquis.......smiles. May I request you might consider losing that AV ..........at your own discretion naturally. I love the B & W picture you had about 8 months ago..........seemed to reflect your charisma)

saw_man1 said:

Have you considered denying her the pleasure of serving you?

Of course this would require some small sacrifice on your part.

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Yeah, that's a great idea.

Next I'll use the Betticus method and have her whip me to make her see how much pain she brings me.

@}-}rebecca---- said:

Marquis does she care she has disappointed you ?

If so, carefully ,quietly tell her........make eye contact .

Careful however the tone / punishment fits the trangression.

Is she doesn't care...........punishments not your biggest issue.

(BTW good to see you around Marquis.......smiles. May I request you might consider losing that AV ..........at your own discretion naturally. I love the B & W picture you had about 8 months ago..........seemed to reflect your charisma)

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At what point did I wander into cracktown?

I mean seriously, take a step back and read this thread again, even you must see how stupid your comment is. Were you drunk when you wrote this?

And no I will not be losing that av, and I don't need to be reminded that it's at my discretion.

Not much on making good suggestions this days...but

Perhaps in adding to the kneeling in quiet for 5 minutes, you might have three candles...one for disrespect, one for disobedience and one for unappreciative. As part of kneeling, she could light one or more of the candles that you designate for her more focused concentration upon her own punishment.

*sleep on the floor or take away other things she may take for granted but you might consider as previledges. Like not allowed to eat at the table with you. Very simple, but effective in communicating displeasure.

Clean things....pull out every pot and pan and dish in the entire house and make her wash them and put them away.

Reorganize the can good shelves.

Take away speaking prevelidges so that she has to communicate by hand or written.

Take away something that she treasures or values and considers special. Perhaps a locket or a piece of jewelry, a book,

Write a word of punishment using eyeliner or lipstick on her body somewhere.


In one sense or another, each of the above can be used as a metaphor for self examination, but your smart enough to pick up on that I am sure.

Marquis said:

At what point did I wander into cracktown?

I mean seriously, take a step back and read this thread again, even you must see how stupid your comment is. Were you drunk when you wrote this?

And no I will not be losing that av, and I don't need to be reminded that it's at my discretion.

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Ah the old Marquis charm in full flight its kind of reassuring in some ways.

It's possible to flip the coin on a non-physical punishment and get her more emotionally involved.

e.g. "I want you to remain silent/ kneel before me until you feel that you deserve to address me." When she does attempt to address you, ask her why she now feels able to.

or in the same way "Do you feel that you deserve to sit with me at the table/ sleep in bed with me etc" This approach can have more of an effect than just denying these things without discussion.

or "I want you to talk for 5 full minutes about why I am displeased and therefore what you plan to do differently in the future." This is similar to your essay idea but more immediate.

Know thy sub, and you shall know the punishment.

RJMasters said:

Not much on making good suggestions this days...but

Perhaps in adding to the kneeling in quiet for 5 minutes, you might have three candles...one for disrespect, one for disobedience and one for unappreciative. As part of kneeling, she could light one or more of the candles that you designate for her more focused concentration upon her own punishment.

*sleep on the floor or take away other things she may take for granted but you might consider as previledges. Like not allowed to eat at the table with you. Very simple, but effective in communicating displeasure.

Clean things....pull out every pot and pan and dish in the entire house and make her wash them and put them away.

Reorganize the can good shelves.

Take away speaking prevelidges so that she has to communicate by hand or written.

Take away something that she treasures or values and considers special. Perhaps a locket or a piece of jewelry, a book,

Write a word of punishment using eyeliner or lipstick on her body somewhere.


In one sense or another, each of the above can be used as a metaphor for self examination, but your smart enough to pick up on that I am sure.

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Good stuff, thanks RJ!

@}-}rebecca---- said:

Ah the old Marquis charm in full flight its kind of reassuring in some ways.

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You know what I like about you? You're such a genuine person, and so perceptive!

VelvetDarkness said:

It's possible to flip the coin on a non-physical punishment and get her more emotionally involved.

e.g. "I want you to remain silent/ kneel before me until you feel that you deserve to address me." When she does attempt to address you, ask her why she now feels able to.

or in the same way "Do you feel that you deserve to sit with me at the table/ sleep in bed with me etc" This approach can have more of an effect than just denying these things without discussion.

or "I want you to talk for 5 full minutes about why I am displeased and therefore what you plan to do differently in the future." This is similar to your essay idea but more immediate.

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Immediacy is good.

I suspect I've been a little unclear about what kind of "transgressions" I'm punishing with 5 minutes on the ground and so forth. I'm not really looking to get so emotionally heavy, more like something to tip the scales when we are fighting over the remote control.

A little humor is always good too, I've decided that in the future when she is in the lying down position she will be required to hold an apple in her mouth. Inspired by a D/s relationship in one of my favorite books on the subject, I've also set the rule that my sub has to say "beep beep" when I squeeze her nose, which may go on for extended periods when she annoys me.

WriterDom said:

Know thy sub, and you shall know the punishment.

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Cryptic words, full of wisdom.

Marquis said:

Immediacy is good.

I suspect I've been a little unclear about what kind of "transgressions" I'm punishing with 5 minutes on the ground and so forth. I'm not really looking to get so emotionally heavy, more like something to tip the scales when we are fighting over the remote control.

A little humor is always good too, I've decided that in the future when she is in the lying down position she will be required to hold an apple in her mouth. Inspired by a D/s relationship in one of my favorite books on the subject, I've also set the rule that my sub has to say "beep beep" when I squeeze her nose, which may go on for extended periods when she annoys me.

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Oh gosh, I think I'd end up giggling madly if I had to say "beep beep" when my nose were squeezed. At first, anyhow. After a while, it would become rather annoying, which I suppose is the concept. "You're annoying me, therefore, I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine and you get to sample it until I'm satisfied you've learned your lesson."

WriterDom said:

Know thy sub, and you shall know the punishment.

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Well said!

SweetCherry said:

Oh gosh, I think I'd end up giggling madly if I had to say "beep beep" when my nose were squeezed. At first, anyhow. After a while, it would become rather annoying, which I suppose is the concept. "You're annoying me, therefore, I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine and you get to sample it until I'm satisfied you've learned your lesson."

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Giggling is an acceptable result as well. I think domination can be just as effective when executed in a lighthearted manner, and is MOST effective when applied across the spectrum of heavy to light, as appropriate.

Marquis said:

I'm a big fan of punishments that require little to no sacrifice on my part.

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I do not blame you. I do not like to be inconvenieced either.

Have you tried posture training?

Balancing a plate, book, or something else on her head for a period of time?

You could even go so far as to buy a Posture collar to be worn as punishment. Some of then even have more rings so that you could attach her wrist cuffs.

Eb

Ebonyfire said:

I do not blame you. I do not like to be inconvenieced either.

Have you tried posture training?

Balancing a plate, book, or something else on her head for a period of time?

You could even go so far as to buy a Posture collar to be worn as punishment. Some of then even have more rings so that you could attach her wrist cuffs.

Eb

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I like that idea. I could tell her that she'd have to balance whatever it was for a certain period of time, straight, and have to start over if it fell. That would add intensity and concentration to the task.

Actually, I think I have a posture collar, I never thought of using it for punishment purposes, I'll have to consider it.

Marquis said:

I like that idea. I could tell her that she'd have to balance whatever it was for a certain period of time, straight, and have to start over if it fell. That would add intensity and concentration to the task.

Actually, I think I have a posture collar, I never thought of using it for punishment purposes, I'll have to consider it.

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If you already have the posture collar, you could add something challenging to the mix so that it would be not only challenging, but very uncomfortable without the use of corporal punishment at all.

Marquis said:

Giggling is an acceptable result as well. I think domination can be just as effective when executed in a lighthearted manner, and is MOST effective when applied across the spectrum of heavy to light, as appropriate.

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Makes sense to me. Life, in general, seems to be much better if it can be kept somewhat light-hearted. So long as I'm not punished by having to saing Yankee Doodle Dandy and substitute every 4th word with "quack", that is.

never again

Once I was very late for our session, and my Handler punished me for it as follows. He was very calm and quiet, and would not look me in the eye, which intensified my own guilt and mortification. I tried to apologize, but he ignored me as if I hadn't said anything at all. He guided me with his hands to stand in the middle of his living room under the ceiling fan. He very matter-of-factly measured from the end of the fan pull-chain down to my face. Then, he went out of the room. I stayed put. He went to his garage and got another piece of chain, which he used to lengthen the pull chain so the porcelain ball was right at my nose. He turned on the fan and then raised my chin up with his finger so I had to tilt my head back. He said one word: "Open." I opened my mouth, and he placed the porcelain ball into my mouth. Next he took out his pocket knife. It seems silly now, because I trust him completely, but I suddenly felt very vulnerable with my head back and my throat stretched like that. Then he used the knife to slice away at my sweatshirt so he would not have to pull it over my head, all very slowly and methodically, like he was doing some mundane chore. He left it in a pile at my feet. He pulled down my pants and left them around my ankles. Before he left the room, he opened the windows (it was March, probably about 35 outside). He had timed the number of minutes I was late at 96, and that was how many minutes I stood holding the procelain ball in my mouth while he was out in his heated garage at work on some project. I was naked, shivering, my neck hurt, my calves hurt (I had to slightly stand on my toes). Worst of all, I was full of self-pity for a while, then loathing for myself and how inconsiderate I had been. When the time was up, he came back in and shut the windows and took the ball out of my mouth. "You've slobbered all over yourself," he said. Saliva had dripped around the ball and onto my chest. Believe me, there were tears mixed in too. He led me to the bathroom, hobbled by the pants still bundled around my ankles, where he sprayed me down in the shower with cold water. Then he led me to the door, handed me my cut-up shirt, and said I should think long and hard about whether I wanted him to be my Handler. I hobbled up to my apartment (I lived upstairs from him), holding my tattered shirt. I've never been late for a session again.

Memally punish her. Tie her up, and stimulate her mind with suggestive words and acts, while stimulating her clit and/or nipples at the same time. Take her to the edge, but don't let her cum. Then, let her calm down. After she calms down, do it all again. But, as punishment, don't let her cum.

It's a mental tease and punishment, and you can also remind her of why she's being treated this way, while you're doing it. You can also have her admit to her wrong doing, and even force her to admit that she deserves to be punished like this. You literally have her mind and body in the palm of your hands...you have her complete attention.

It's up to you to know when she's about to cum so you can back off your stimulation. Or, like with my 1-10 game, you can have her tell you what level of arrousal she is at ( level 0=no arousal, level 10=cumming), so you can judge your punishment according to what level she is at. When she is at level 9, you must either back off or let her cum.

If she likes to cum, this could be a very nasty form of punishment. And, if you want, after she tells you she's sorry and has learned her lesson, you can allow her to cum.

DVS said:

Tie her up, and stimulate her mind with suggestive words and acts, while stimulating her clit and/or nipples at the same time. Take her to the edge, but don't let her cum. Then, let her calm down. After she calms down, do it all again. But, as punishment, don't let her cum.

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i agree, this is a very effective punishment for sombody who likes to cum (and who doesnt, really?). you can add to this, or use the following on its own if you want, by saying that next time she does whatever it is that shes doing wrong, she cant cum for X amount of time (it can be minutes, hours, or for something big, even days), no matter what the situation is. feel free to use her as you otherwise would have, just dont allow her to cum. this isnt good as an immediate punishment for an action, but from personal experiance i can tell you that its really really good for preventative purposes.