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Sadism?

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Let_it_come

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Jun 4, 2006
Posts
309
I'm looking for tips from those who enjoy being cruel & who enjoy their partner's cruelty.
D/s, BDSM, etc., isn't quite hitting the mark for what I like & what I do (from time to time). Is this another U.S. Law thing? I'm happy if that is the case - I just want to understand.
Masochism doesn't interest me, but Sadism I find a real turn-on.
A lot of the best on Lit. is dressed up as "he hurts me because he loves me" or somesuch. Where is the 'he hurts me because it makes him cum to hurt'? or 'I hurt him because I fucking love it & love to rub my wet slit in his face afterwards'?
Sick & twisted? Yes.
Horny? Well, for me... fuck yes!
Any help out there?
:kiss:
 
Ah Sadism.

Wikipedia describes it thusly:
Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. The word is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a prolific French philosopher-writer of sadistic novels.
Click to expand...

Personally- its the desire to bring pain to another in a manor pleasing to both of us. The need to watch them writhe, knowing it was asked for, yet dreading it all the same.

But then, for me to accept someone into my life as a masochistic balance to my sadist, I would have to love them. For I cannot see bringing something as intimate as my vision of sadism to bear on someone I do not love.
What's a life without love? Not one I'd want.

Anyway, to help you find what's in the ballpark of what you're seeing, we'd need to know what it is you like already.
I could suggest flogging, cloths pins and ice torture, but those may clash with your ideas.
Make sense?

Just got off 12 hr shift, so tired. If this is inane, let me know.
 
Vixandra said:
Ah Sadism.


The need to watch them writhe, knowing it was asked for, yet dreading it all the same.
Click to expand...

That sums it up very nicely for me, thank you for that line.
 
Due to being far too busy to go down this path yet again, and that you seem to have a lot of questions since joining this month (which is always good, but for some there is not the time to apply to answering 24/7), might I suggest reading our library from beginning to end as you will find lots of responses on this topic there, and far more in depth than you have asked for as yet..and then beginning to do searches for the threads not yet in the library, or perhaps just cruise them from the beginning to present day to see what might help you....it is an interesting journey. :cathappy: Happy reading.

Catalina :catroar:
 
catalina_francisco said:
Due to being far too busy to go down this path yet again, and that you seem to have a lot of questions since joining this month (which is always good, but for some there is not the time to apply to answering 24/7), might I suggest reading our library from beginning to end as you will find lots of responses on this topic there, and far more in depth than you have asked for as yet..and then beginning to do searches for the threads not yet in the library, or perhaps just cruise them from the beginning to present day to see what might help you....it is an interesting journey. :cathappy: Happy reading.

Catalina :catroar:
Click to expand...

It's good advice...
And just a little bit obvious too! :D
Nice that you're busy - good for you -
But if you're so busy why spend the time telling me that you're too busy to 'talk' to me?
I suspect you might be making a little point here...? :rolleyes: Maybe I'm wrong.
My questions are pretty much bullshit - they are excuses to talk about stuff I like & to find like-minded people to talk about stuff with.
Having said that, I'm not having a pop at you I promise -
You were once a newbie too like me, you had to feel your way here way back 10,000 posts ago!
:kiss:
 
Vixandra said:
Ah Sadism.

Wikipedia describes it thusly:


Personally- its the desire to bring pain to another in a manor pleasing to both of us. The need to watch them writhe, knowing it was asked for, yet dreading it all the same.

But then, for me to accept someone into my life as a masochistic balance to my sadist, I would have to love them. For I cannot see bringing something as intimate as my vision of sadism to bear on someone I do not love.
What's a life without love? Not one I'd want.

Anyway, to help you find what's in the ballpark of what you're seeing, we'd need to know what it is you like already.
I could suggest flogging, cloths pins and ice torture, but those may clash with your ideas.
Make sense?

Just got off 12 hr shift, so tired. If this is inane, let me know.
Click to expand...

All nice suggestions & all things I/we do plus more -
I'm looking for the S. in S/M . Not too bothered about the balancing masochism. The 'love' part I love, but not in this kink. Here I'm looking for the enjoyment of hurting. Cruelty. That stuff.
Neither my boy or I are masochists, we are sadists (sometimes) - We enjoy, from time to time, laying into each other for our own pleasure. The other's pain at these times is just for them to endure, not enjoy.
That's what I'm interested in.
Any Sadists out there?
Any nice cruel kink to share?

Jenny :kiss:
 
Let_it_come said:
Thanks for that - I'm posting a lot of unpopular stuff I find... Not my intention I promise!
I'll learn...
Jen :kiss:
Click to expand...

I was just thinking you two should get together!

*smiles*

Fury :rose:
 
Let_it_come said:
It's good advice...
And just a little bit obvious too! :D
Nice that you're busy - good for you -
But if you're so busy why spend the time telling me that you're too busy to 'talk' to me?
I suspect you might be making a little point here...? :rolleyes: Maybe I'm wrong.
My questions are pretty much bullshit - they are excuses to talk about stuff I like & to find like-minded people to talk about stuff with.
Having said that, I'm not having a pop at you I promise -
You were once a newbie too like me, you had to feel your way here way back 10,000 posts ago!
:kiss:
Click to expand...

Yes, you are wrong, but it is your choice to make assumptions and I will try not to bore you by offering anymore help that could be mistaken as anything other than that. Oh BTW, why did I post in this thread in the first place? Because even before becoming moderator it was my style to try and answer where I could and more especially when people were not getting many answers, makes discussion continue on a discussion board funnily enough...and as I saw your thread as I checked in quickly to make sure our friendly, boring white supremist had not posted yet another thread that needed removing before I flew out the door again, and I have experience with this topic from both sides of the whip, I posted a quick reply until I could get back to the thread and give a better answer. Sorry it was not welcome. :rose:

Catalina :catroar:
 
catalina_francisco said:
Yes, you are wrong, but it is your choice to make assumptions and I will try not to bore you by offering anymore help that could be mistaken as anything other than that. Oh BTW, why did I post in this thread in the first place? Because even before becoming moderator it was my style to try and answer where I could and more especially when people were not getting many answers, makes discussion continue on a discussion board funnily enough...and as I saw your thread as I checked in quickly to make sure our friendly, boring white supremist had not posted yet another thread that needed removing before I flew out the door again, and I have experience with this topic from both sides of the whip, I posted a quick reply until I could get back to the thread and give a better answer. Sorry it was not welcome. :rose:

Catalina :catroar:
Click to expand...

Not my night tonight...
Pising off a Mod is never wise - My bad and I am really sorry.
It's a language thing - I misunderstood you.
Smeg is not working out for me either...
LOL!
Ahhhh well -
I got you wrong & was too dumb to see you were a busy Mod.
All my fault.
Can't even offer you a blow-job to get out of this so I'll just say sorry & quit.
Jenny :kiss:
 
Let_it_come said:
Not my night tonight...
Pising off a Mod is never wise - My bad and I am really sorry.
It's a language thing - I misunderstood you.
Smeg is not working out for me either...
LOL!
Ahhhh well -
I got you wrong & was too dumb to see you were a busy Mod.
All my fault.
Can't even offer you a blow-job to get out of this so I'll just say sorry & quit.
Jenny :kiss:
Click to expand...
I don't think that -at least here- pissing of mods is worse than pissing of anybody else (if you manage to actually do it, which I don't think you did). Some people don't get along well with either one or both mods. So what? They don't run around deleting any posts, and so far it doesn't seem as if one of them is part of a 'in' gang, or clique, or however you want to call it.
 
Let_it_come said:
Not my night tonight...
Pising off a Mod is never wise - My bad and I am really sorry.
It's a language thing - I misunderstood you.
Smeg is not working out for me either...
LOL!
Ahhhh well -
I got you wrong & was too dumb to see you were a busy Mod.
All my fault.
Can't even offer you a blow-job to get out of this so I'll just say sorry & quit.
Jenny :kiss:
Click to expand...

'Tis OK...you will find there are many topics which might not be everyone's cup of tea, but my advice is to not let it hold you back or take it personally. LOL, I have been there and still go back for more as I am all for open discussion of wide and varied sorts, and certainly am not into PC as it is far too restricting and offends me, so why should my being offended matter less than those who protect PC as a lifestyle?! :catroar:

Catalina :rose:
 
ok, lic, lets talk mental sadism or cruelty.

find something the other is sensitive about, some body part, or facial feature, weight, whatever. of perhaps a moment of shame in the past.

use that opening to 'torture', taunt etc. would that get you off?

:devil:
 
Pure said:
ok, lic, lets talk mental sadism or cruelty.

find something the other is sensitive about, some body part, or facial feature, weight, whatever. of perhaps a moment of shame in the past.

use that opening to 'torture', taunt etc. would that get you off?

:devil:
Click to expand...

i only would like that in certain ways. after losing 40 pounds and creating a slim figure, i'm sensitive about the parts of me that aren't perfect yet. i'm very confident, but a few things will get to me. however, i remember a former lover telling me in a sadism scene that my big blue eyes and freckles made me look like a sad orphan on the streets and he should fuck me like the dirty waste of life i was. and i rather enjoyed that :D
 
interesting. as regards 'a few things that get to you.' IF you're into undergoing cruelty it's (to oversimplify) either things that don't bother you or that do. in the former case, let's say, hypothetically it's the color of your hair. well any insults directed at you and your hair would be entirely 'role played,' i.e., you be acting as if they bothered you. that would be play acting more than masochism imo.

to anyone reading this thread, pleast note that I-- and I think tabby--am NOT talking about searching out some poor waif who hates to be told about something--like the size of her nose-- and spontaneously deciding they deserve some cruelty and imposing it in an entirely unwelcome way.

we are discussing scenes or encounters based on there being some signs of acceptance or consent. perhaps, where there is an open door (i.e., they can end the experience by walking away). iow one would want there to be some evidence that, in a deep way, this is what they want or fell they need. this topic is not about gratuitous or unprovoked cruelty to the vulnerable wherever they are found.
 
yeah, i don't see much of a point in acting out the part of a self-conscious person when i am not.

and i absolutely agree with what you said, pure. well put about really wanting it.
 
Pure said:
interesting. as regards 'a few things that get to you.' IF you're into undergoing cruelty it's (to oversimplify) either things that don't bother you or that do. in the former case, let's say, hypothetically it's the color of your hair. well any insults directed at you and your hair would be entirely 'role played,' i.e., you be acting as if they bothered you. that would be play acting more than masochism imo.

to anyone reading this thread, pleast note that I-- and I think tabby--am NOT talking about searching out some poor waif who hates to be told about something--like the size of her nose-- and spontaneously deciding they deserve some cruelty and imposing it in an entirely unwelcome way.

we are discussing scenes or encounters based on there being some signs of acceptance or consent. perhaps, where there is an open door (i.e., they can end the experience by walking away). iow one would want there to be some evidence that, in a deep way, this is what they want or fell they need. this topic is not about gratuitous or unprovoked cruelty to the vulnerable wherever they are found.
Click to expand...

I think there is a dichotomy of sado masochism, especially mental and/or emotional, where one group has to have control over which areas are tweaked and used, and another group where that control is surrendered and though that does not necessarily mean that surrender opens the gates to full on mindless and damaging sadism, there is a possibility not all areas played with are what the submissive in question handles well or would choose if given the chance. We tend to be in the last group and it does make for interesting times, though not always pleasant.

Catalina :rose:
 
Let_it_come said:
I'm looking for tips from those who enjoy being cruel & who enjoy their partner's cruelty.
... Any help out there?
Click to expand...


There's lots of help out here. As a practicing sadist, I can certainly offer tips about ways to inflict pain. I do not enjoy cruelty coming from my partner, but I definitely enjoying being cruel to my partner.

I don't have the time or inclination to try to write you a how to book about SM, they've already been done and by people with more skill as wordsmiths than I. But if you have some specific activities you are looking for information about I would be happy to share some things that work for me.
 
Pure said:
ok, lic, lets talk mental sadism or cruelty.

find something the other is sensitive about, some body part, or facial feature, weight, whatever. of perhaps a moment of shame in the past.

use that opening to 'torture', taunt etc. would that get you off?

:devil:
Click to expand...

Hmmmmm - not sure.
I'm looking for physical cruelty. Something pretty crude, to be honest. I loved your SMACK thread & I must add to it.
I kinda like being cruel & I relish cruelty in my partner - I like to dish it out & I like to see him enjoying his own sadism.
J. :kiss:
 
Evil_Geoff said:
There's lots of help out here. As a practicing sadist, I can certainly offer tips about ways to inflict pain. I do not enjoy cruelty coming from my partner, but I definitely enjoying being cruel to my partner.

I don't have the time or inclination to try to write you a how to book about SM, they've already been done and by people with more skill as wordsmiths than I. But if you have some specific activities you are looking for information about I would be happy to share some things that work for me.
Click to expand...

Lovely - You are now on my list! I'll chat over the PM ASAP -
:kiss: Jenny
 
catalina_francisco said:
'Tis OK...you will find there are many topics which might not be everyone's cup of tea, but my advice is to not let it hold you back or take it personally. LOL, I have been there and still go back for more as I am all for open discussion of wide and varied sorts, and certainly am not into PC as it is far too restricting and offends me, so why should my being offended matter less than those who protect PC as a lifestyle?! :catroar:

Catalina :rose:
Click to expand...

Good reply! Thanks for that. You don't like Smegma do you...? :D
Joking!
Jenny :kiss:
 
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