DevilishTexan
Literotica Guru
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A good review
Comic book heroes falter, and it isn't even funny
Connie Ogle
Miami Herald
Published: Friday, May 26, 2006
It's painful to agree with them even a little, but the peevish cyber fanboys wringing their hands over the future of the X-Men franchise had reason to fret. The Last Stand doesn't play out as a grand final adventure (although, much like a Rolling Stones farewell tour, there's some doubt as to whether this really is the end). Instead, it's a disappointing chapter in what until now has been a highly entertaining, even thought-provoking series.
The film poses an interesting question in the context of the X world: Would you stop being a mutant -- meaning minority -- if an antidote could make you like everybody else? A new vaccine turns mutants human, and mutant reaction to this development is mixed. Opposed is the evil Magneto (Ian McKellen, who seems to be having less fun here than he had in the abysmal Da Vinci Code, possibly because he has to wear a really dorky helmet), but Rogue (Anna Paquin), who can't touch her boyfriend without killing him, considers the vaccine a possibility.
But The Last Stand manages to squander this intriguing concept by piling on a competing, equally compelling, storyline: Head mutant Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) is disturbed to learn that Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), killed off at the end of X2, has been resurrected as Dark Phoenix, whose uncontrollable power is so tremendous she can destroy planets. In the comics, that is. In the film, Dark Phoenix mostly just stands around looking veiny, even when she could quickly stop the climactic battle over the vaccine between Magneto and Charles' good-guy X-Men. Still, she does get to make out with Wolverine (the eternally charismatic Hugh Jackman), and she uses her powers to blow off his clothes, and for that we remain grateful.
Either story would have formed a sufficient core for a thrilling movie, but together the stories provide too much plot crammed into too tight a space, and the screenwriters handcuff Dark Phoenix by making her little more than one of Magneto's lackeys. This is particularly unfortunate in a series so careful to prevent its female characters from standing around waiting to be rescued with the appalling inertia perfected by Spider-Man's insipid Mary Jane.
There also are far too many new mutants without much to do. Ben Foster's winged Angel is beautifully conceived but ultimately pointless, and Kelsey Grammer's Beast, whose superpower is apparently being blue and fuzzy, is a poor substitute for Alan Cumming's gorgeous, lyrical Nightcrawler from X2.
Most horrifying, Halle Berry's tepid Storm gets more screen time simply because she's Halle Berry. Storm has always been a problem in the films, mostly because Berry has never possessed enough weight to make her interesting or even believable as a superhero. If only we had more of Rebecca Romijn's terrifically nasty, scene-stealing Mystique instead, but the script writes her out way too early.
You'd think that director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour, After the Sunset, Red Dragon), who took over the X-Men helm from Bryan Singer, would at least get the action right, but most of his scenes are competent but unimpressive; we've seen cars and fireballs flying around before. Even the show-piece scene, in which Magneto shifts the Golden Gate bridge to Alcatraz, never elicits much awe, especially since the task appears to take from mid-afternoon until pitch-dark to accomplish.
To its credit, The Last Stand is bold enough to kill off a few X-Men. But the film lacks the emotional resonance to make those deaths sting. Ratner seems incapable of infusing his overly busy story with nuance, depth or the wonderful wry humor that connected us so thoroughly to these characters in the first place, and so their sacrifices never register. Singer's films were peppered with small moments that felt epic. Ratner's film just feels awfully small.
I feel the same way. It was lame. The last one was better.
Comic book heroes falter, and it isn't even funny
Connie Ogle
Miami Herald
Published: Friday, May 26, 2006
It's painful to agree with them even a little, but the peevish cyber fanboys wringing their hands over the future of the X-Men franchise had reason to fret. The Last Stand doesn't play out as a grand final adventure (although, much like a Rolling Stones farewell tour, there's some doubt as to whether this really is the end). Instead, it's a disappointing chapter in what until now has been a highly entertaining, even thought-provoking series.
The film poses an interesting question in the context of the X world: Would you stop being a mutant -- meaning minority -- if an antidote could make you like everybody else? A new vaccine turns mutants human, and mutant reaction to this development is mixed. Opposed is the evil Magneto (Ian McKellen, who seems to be having less fun here than he had in the abysmal Da Vinci Code, possibly because he has to wear a really dorky helmet), but Rogue (Anna Paquin), who can't touch her boyfriend without killing him, considers the vaccine a possibility.
But The Last Stand manages to squander this intriguing concept by piling on a competing, equally compelling, storyline: Head mutant Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) is disturbed to learn that Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), killed off at the end of X2, has been resurrected as Dark Phoenix, whose uncontrollable power is so tremendous she can destroy planets. In the comics, that is. In the film, Dark Phoenix mostly just stands around looking veiny, even when she could quickly stop the climactic battle over the vaccine between Magneto and Charles' good-guy X-Men. Still, she does get to make out with Wolverine (the eternally charismatic Hugh Jackman), and she uses her powers to blow off his clothes, and for that we remain grateful.
Either story would have formed a sufficient core for a thrilling movie, but together the stories provide too much plot crammed into too tight a space, and the screenwriters handcuff Dark Phoenix by making her little more than one of Magneto's lackeys. This is particularly unfortunate in a series so careful to prevent its female characters from standing around waiting to be rescued with the appalling inertia perfected by Spider-Man's insipid Mary Jane.
There also are far too many new mutants without much to do. Ben Foster's winged Angel is beautifully conceived but ultimately pointless, and Kelsey Grammer's Beast, whose superpower is apparently being blue and fuzzy, is a poor substitute for Alan Cumming's gorgeous, lyrical Nightcrawler from X2.
Most horrifying, Halle Berry's tepid Storm gets more screen time simply because she's Halle Berry. Storm has always been a problem in the films, mostly because Berry has never possessed enough weight to make her interesting or even believable as a superhero. If only we had more of Rebecca Romijn's terrifically nasty, scene-stealing Mystique instead, but the script writes her out way too early.
You'd think that director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour, After the Sunset, Red Dragon), who took over the X-Men helm from Bryan Singer, would at least get the action right, but most of his scenes are competent but unimpressive; we've seen cars and fireballs flying around before. Even the show-piece scene, in which Magneto shifts the Golden Gate bridge to Alcatraz, never elicits much awe, especially since the task appears to take from mid-afternoon until pitch-dark to accomplish.
To its credit, The Last Stand is bold enough to kill off a few X-Men. But the film lacks the emotional resonance to make those deaths sting. Ratner seems incapable of infusing his overly busy story with nuance, depth or the wonderful wry humor that connected us so thoroughly to these characters in the first place, and so their sacrifices never register. Singer's films were peppered with small moments that felt epic. Ratner's film just feels awfully small.
I feel the same way. It was lame. The last one was better.
