What is nilla sex?

I think nilla sex is tentative. Like living in the village, afraid to go into the deep, dark woods.
 
Recidiva said:
I think nilla sex is tentative. Like living in the village, afraid to go into the deep, dark woods.

Good one. Love the Galileo quote, by the way, Reci.
 
Is it strange that I equate the nilla sex that I've had with the homosexual experiences I've had? Maybe because I'm not really oriented towards nilla, and I'm not really oriented toward women, I was in a similar headspace...
 
I think nilla sex is when you get confortable. When the thrill of something new/dangerous/'dirty'/kinky isn't there. For some people, I think anal can get 'nilla, or by that token doggie style isn't.
 
Vanilla sex is just as fun as chocalate sex, it just depends on the brand you buy.
 
I don't remember. :eek:



okay, seriously. For me sex has always been about giving the most pleasure I could to the one I'm with, so the transition into BDSM was quite a smooth one. Hell I even masterbated for his pleasure not mine. The whole time I was married I would do it for him to watch because it gave him so much pleasure, or would have my own "fun" while he was at work cause I knew he liked the idea of me masterbating almost as much as he liked to watch me do it. To tell him I was so hot that I spent part of the day playing with my own body, he'd nearly explode that second. Personally I always prefer human contact over masterbation and while I was married felt like it was much more satisfying to wait until he got home from work, have dinner hot on the table and me hot in the bedroom. So that was my "nilla" sex world.
 
it's when I have to close my eyes and imagine something else happening
 
Chicklet said:
it's when I have to close my eyes and imagine something else happening

Yeah, that's pretty much it for me too.

If it's not good enough to stand on its own and there's longing.
 
chicklet,

hi, nice to see ya. :rose:

it's when I have to close my eyes and imagine something else happening

the 'nilla leaning is an attempt to put a straitjacket on one's imaginings.
 
I have a real issue with this label, bad sex is bad sex be it vanilla or not, those so often classified as vanilla are often some of the most experimental people i know, they do not classify themselves, or say they they have a certain lifestyle they do what makes them sexually happy and often explore many avenues, taking what they like and leaving what they don't. So often what i hear said as BDSM ideas are exactly the way i hear so called vanilla friends say about their own sexual ideas.
 
Chicklet said:
it's when I have to close my eyes and imagine something else happening

I like this. Not in a "bad sex" sort of way, but in a "this isn't meeting my desires" sort of way.

That can be said about a lot of 'nilla sex lives, too, but to me (despite loving vanilla ice cream!) I see 'nilla not as an entire genre, or any one specific thing, but as a sense of boredom and mundane-ness.

If I am bored during sex, someone is doing something wrong, and that's not meeting my desires. Therefore, to -me-, it's 'nilla.

Who knows? The next day, that very same thing that bored me today might be exactly what I want. It varies. It can never be pinned down and labelled exactly as any one thing.

WE can't even agree on labels -- why try to label 'nilla?
 
I think Vanilla sex is a often a dirogatory term used by many self-righteous bondage lifestylers to describe the sexual activity of those not interested in BDSM. While many would attempt to protray those uninterested in BDSM as sexually-stunted, inhibited, or even afraid of the lifestyle, they are not understanding the basic fact that different people have different preferences.
 
Vanilla sex is what I do when one or both of us are too tired to scene but still want to fuck and it's still damned good IMO.

Fury :rose:
 
'nilla sex with her is meeting her on equal terms, when it pleases me, for her to see how much I adore and trust her.

'nilla sex with someone outside of BDSM is simply getting your freak on.
 
Proudsubinatl said:
My original thought was alone the lines of; door closed, lights out, missionary position. Nilla sex to me means a type of sex lacking in imagination or creativity.

I think that's really what comes to my mind as well. But I don't think that it's a bad thing, or that it can't be just as injoyable. Some one can have a very creative technique but if they don't know how to exicute it, or have the passion behind it it can still be just as boring as the idea that nilla sex puts into most minds. And nilla sex, if the proper passion is put behind it can be just as fullfilling as a full blown out scene. That's what I think anyway.
 
Kajira Callista said:
and all this time i thought it had something to do with eating nilla wafers in bed :rolleyes:

Oh, you poor poor girl.

What’s funny to me about this thread is that I love Nabisco Vanilla Wafers. It has to be one of the most simplistic cookies in the world. The irony is that simplistic is not a word that I would use to describe my sex/love life.
 
I have had a hard time understanding the term "vanilla sex" since getting into this lifestyle. I certainly understand boring or mundane sex and if that is what it is in reference too then I don't want that! However, if we are talking about sex that doesn't include some sort of "BDSM" such as bondage, beatings, ect. I just don't see that as boring. I happen to adore sex! I love it when he has me strapped to the bench and I'm attached to my magic wand while he is flogging the hell out of me. I also love it when the lights are out and he is on top of me while we make love in the most tender and intimate of ways. Sometimes we even do a mixture which I guess you could call a chocolate/vanilla swirl. :D
 
His_pita said:
I have had a hard time understanding the term "vanilla sex" since getting into this lifestyle. I certainly understand boring or mundane sex and if that is what it is in reference too then I don't want that! However, if we are talking about sex that doesn't include some sort of "BDSM" such as bondage, beatings, ect. I just don't see that as boring. I happen to adore sex! I love it when he has me strapped to the bench and I'm attached to my magic wand while he is flogging the hell out of me. I also love it when the lights are out and he is on top of me while we make love in the most tender and intimate of ways. Sometimes we even do a mixture which I guess you could call a chocolate/vanilla swirl. :D

The swirl is very good!

Well stated.
 
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