Old 06-11-2016, 01:08 PM   #1
Jennitalia
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You are masturbating when.....

You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:15 PM   #2
Jaime_H
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We all know the term "coitus interuptus"

What is a disturbed wank called?
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:19 PM   #3
MSH2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaime_H View Post
We all know the term "coitus interuptus"

What is a disturbed wank called?
usually? Fuckshitbollocks
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:21 PM   #4
Jaime_H
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MSH2 View Post
usually? Fuckshitbollocks
Followed by "Yes, I was just getting changed, honest...."
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:22 PM   #5
Mrtenant
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennitalia View Post
You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.

Just keep it primed and edge all day until tonite. Then go ravish your man, or yourself?
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:23 PM   #6
DarkSimian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennitalia View Post
You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.
try living with someone that has no concept of privacy, that does not know what a closed door means. that has ears like a rabbit no matter how quiet you try to be.....oh, how I love being home again
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:29 PM   #7
Jennitalia
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Originally Posted by Jaime_H View Post
Followed by "Yes, I was just getting changed, honest...."
I'm walking around quishing my swollen lips trying to get ready kinda hurts! Being shaven doesn't help right now...oh, the chafing!!!!

I came out with a brilliant idea....blogging about parenthood, sex and daily bs about life, especially a woman in her 40s going thru horny menopause while dealing with an miserable, mean sick husband. Of course, adding my adventure to find that one male friend to play with. Too much?
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:34 PM   #8
Jaime_H
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Sex and parenthood is a problem. A bit like trying to wank wearing boxing gloves.....
It's Gods way of saying "you've got kids, the fun is over..."
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Old 06-11-2016, 01:46 PM   #9
EggoWaffle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaime_H View Post
Sex and parenthood is a problem. A bit like trying to wank wearing boxing gloves.....
It's Gods way of saying "you've got kids, the fun is over..."
So fucking true.
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Old 06-11-2016, 02:13 PM   #10
GiggLeGasm
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I think it's a great idea. I like a few. I like the blog called Why Mommy Drinks. I also like Scary Mommy.

here is an excerpt:

Dear Paige and Isaac,

I know it seems like a lot to ask. Thatís why Iím posing it as a question, rather than as a command and/or a bribe and prerequisite for a frozen yogurt popsicle, which is in fact what it is.

So Iíll say it again, nicely but firmly: Please eat just one fucking vegetable?
I realize that everything in your DNA and human evolution goes against eating vegetables. And I certainly donít want to traumatize and disorder you for life by starting a war over food...

Which is why I need you to eat this organic baby carrot right now. Or maybe this leaf of spinach or piece of kale. We grew this kale. Remember?! And by ďwe,Ē I mean your dad. Letís be honest, I had nothing to do with that shit.
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Old 06-11-2016, 02:53 PM   #11
Aussie_Wolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiggLeGasm View Post
I think it's a great idea. I like a few. I like the blog called Why Mommy Drinks. I also like Scary Mommy.

here is an excerpt:

Dear Paige and Isaac,

I know it seems like a lot to ask. Thatís why Iím posing it as a question, rather than as a command and/or a bribe and prerequisite for a frozen yogurt popsicle, which is in fact what it is.

So Iíll say it again, nicely but firmly: Please eat just one fucking vegetable?
I realize that everything in your DNA and human evolution goes against eating vegetables. And I certainly donít want to traumatize and disorder you for life by starting a war over food...

Which is why I need you to eat this organic baby carrot right now. Or maybe this leaf of spinach or piece of kale. We grew this kale. Remember?! And by ďwe,Ē I mean your dad. Letís be honest, I had nothing to do with that shit.
Love it. Especially the part about blaming everything on dad. That's how it works in my household.
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Old 06-12-2016, 10:28 AM   #12
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People watch redtube? You should really go with xhamster instead.
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Old 06-13-2016, 02:55 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennitalia View Post
I'm walking around quishing my swollen lips trying to get ready kinda hurts! Being shaven doesn't help right now...oh, the chafing!!!!

I came out with a brilliant idea....blogging about parenthood, sex and daily bs about life, especially a woman in her 40s going thru horny menopause while dealing with an miserable, mean sick husband. Of course, adding my adventure to find that one male friend to play with. Too much?
If this excerpt about you "quishing your swollen lips together" as you get ready to visit the zoo is any indication of your subject matter, I do believe you would soon garner a large follower fan base to your blog-to-be....I love the intelligent, humorous and naughty way you write so I would be certain to follow your exploits! Keep spreading the sunshine, lovely lady...your day shall come! Besides....a little orgasm denial, be it kid or lover induced, can be good for the soul!
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