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A Question about Humiliation and Piggirls

MechaBlade

MechaBlade

irrumatio king
Joined
Jan 26, 2002
Posts
43,346
So my latest fetish focus is piggirls. Like other animal-girls, this basically implies a sub who is made to crawl on all fours, and act and be treated like the animal. In the case of piggirls this means oinking and having the dom ridicule her for being dirty and, well, fat. At least that's what it means to me. I get really hot thinking of driving my dick into some chicks asshole and calling her a "little piggy" and making her oink.

This fetish doesn't work so well with skinny chicks. I'd rather do something else that makes more sense with them. But with an average-sized woman or especially just slightly overweight with a nice round ass, this gets me hot.

My question is this: is it too much to humiliate a sub by calling attention to her weight? I think if I asked the sub, she would say that she doesn't mind, as long as I get off. However, I know that a lot of women have weight issues, and one thing I was raised to do is never make fun of a woman's weight. The fact that I wouldn't really want to do piggirl play on a skinny girl makes matters worse. The sub would know that her extra weight (something I usually do NOT prefer) is the source of this humiliation and I'm afraid this shame would carry over to real life, after we are done playing. I imagine it could affect her self-esteem, which is not something I'm striving for.

Is this something that's too far?
 
This is a massive massive turn on to a small select group of women.

With a lot of women this would be mental abuse, and with some women it would be the height of the erotic - precisely because weight is such an issue and such a standard in our culture. With something like this, I think it's best to find a bottom who knows she's into it. I would never try to turn a bottom on to a form of humiliation that is a limit for her or him, but I have seen people grow into loving things they found totally out of the question with the deepening of trust and in wanting to challenge themselves to push the envelope. (and a lot of us humiliation freaks like to push the envelope!)

It's like asphyxia or gun play or racial slur humiliation - it's going to be the rare person who can eroticize it, but those who do have a hard time finding someone who wants to go there.

The only way to go here safely is to communicate a lot, a lot a lot. Use safewords. Rather than saying "can I humiliate you based on your weight" I'd ask "what areas do you feel you need to be off limits in humiliation, things like your intelligence, your appearance, your religion, your race, etc."
 
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Netzach said:
This is a massive massive turn on to a small select group of women.

With a lot of women this would be mental abuse, and with some women it would be the height of the erotic - precisely because weight is such an issue and such a standard in our culture. With something like this, I think it's best to find a bottom who knows she's into it. I would never try to turn a bottom on to a form of humiliation that is a limit for her or him, but I have seen people grow into loving things they found totally out of the question with the deepening of trust and in wanting to challenge themselves to push the envelope. (and a lot of us humiliation freaks like to push the envelope!)

It's like asphyxia or gun play or racial slur humiliation - it's going to be the rare person who can eroticize it, but those who do have a hard time finding someone who wants to go there.

The only way to go here safely is to communicate a lot, a lot a lot. Use safewords. Rather than saying "can I humiliate you based on your weight" I'd ask "what areas do you feel you need to be off limits in humiliation, things like your intelligence, your appearance, your religion, your race, etc."
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Thank you. I will take this into consideration.
 
I'd say it could be humiliating, but as long as she knows that you like that she is bigger she will enjoy it in the end.
 
A_Kefka said:
I'd say it could be humiliating, but as long as she knows that you like that she is bigger she will enjoy it in the end.
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That's the problem. I prefer skinny or regular sized women. If she's slightly overweight, it plays well for the fetish, but is worse the other 95% of the time.
 
its different for me, I prefer bigger women to thin. It seriously turns me off if her ribs are visible just standing there topless. If she knows that you would prefer she was thinner than it probably would cut a bit too deep for most people if you were using her weight to humiliate her.
 
I'm not a large woman but I do have fantasies about this. In real life though I might just flip. I'm not always sure about what my reactions will be to things.

Fury :rose:
 
My wife is overweight. It is a major sore point for her, and even though she knows I think she is beautiful, she doesn't want to hear anything about her weight - good or bad. When she is naked I can tell her she is beautiful, but I don't call attention to the fact that she is overweight. There are two approaches - "you are beautiful in spite of your weight" and "you are beautiful because of your weight" but I don't go with either one. She is simply beautiful, and I don't care how much she weighs. I would love her if she were thinner, and I love her the way she is now. But she is so sensitive to it that I don't address it.

The most important thing, though, is to ask your partner if it's okay for that to be part of your play. Apart from feeder/gainers, most people aren't interested in bringing weight into the bedroom. With pigplay, I think the focus is more on becoming a character (the pig) rather than BEING a pig (because you're overweight). You become the pig because of your behavior, not your looks. Skinny people can engage in pigplay too!
 
Being accepted and loved despite that tummy or whatever weight you are is a wonderful surreal thing to me. It's happened a few times. It's been great and appreciate. Still it's hard to internalize and reconcile with one's own self image.

Fury :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
Being accepted and loved despite that tummy or whatever weight you are is a wonderful surreal thing to me. It's happened a few times. It's been great and appreciate. Still it's hard to internalize and reconcile with one's own self image.
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Yes, I think that's why it's so hard to believe. And that's why I say it (to her) so often. :)
 
Etoile said:
Yes, I think that's why it's so hard to believe. And that's why I say it (to her) so often. :)
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You're a wonderful person!

An affectionate rub of the tummy along with a smoldering I want to fuck you so bad, look is scary good.

Fury :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
You're a wonderful person!

An affectionate rub of the tummy along with a smoldering I want to fuck you so bad, look is scary good.

Fury :rose:
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I have found a difference in my situation. Although my wife is also overweight, I have never given her anything but encouragement in the attraction area. In fact, she has often asked me why I tell her I find her so sexy when she is heavy and I reply it is because I find that it is the attitude and personality and eargerness that really turns me on. But I do try to get after her about her weight because of health reasons. I want her to be with me and as healthy as long as we have together. :) :rose:
 
raven2 said:
I have found a difference in my situation. Although my wife is also overweight, I have never given her anything but encouragement in the attraction area. In fact, she has often asked me why I tell her I find her so sexy when she is heavy and I reply it is because I find that it is the attitude and personality and eargerness that really turns me on. But I do try to get after her about her weight because of health reasons. I want her to be with me and as healthy as long as we have together. :) :rose:
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That's wonderful and very nice, the first part of what you said but it's not so different really. She can't internalize that she is so attractive to you and really believe it, is what it sounds like you are saying. Still I believe every positive look, gesture and affirmation does help so it's good that you are providing that.

However if you have to constantly keep after someone about anything, they usually will not change one iota and instead will stubbornly keep on doing what they already are or worse. If they are not ready to change, they won't. She could also be taking those messages about your concern for her health as more than nagging, but also as criticisms, that to her feel truer than your affection and praise do.

Fury :rose:
 
Ooh, I can chime in here ...

My ex, who I was very much in love with, was, to be honest, overweight. She felt this was the largest part of the reason she had never had guy either as a boyfriend or as a sex partner (and while it seemed unlikely, it was also hard to argue with), so she had body image issues, to be sure. I had fallen in love with her personality sight unseen, and so while it's not exactly like my preference is for heavier women, it was not a factor for me -- I found her beautiful, and she knew I did.

We also participated in humilating play, at least verbally. Neither of us had much sexual experiences, but we found we enjoyed it, me as the dominant and her as the subsmissive, and found boundaries constantly being pushed farther and farther. But the last thing I ever wanted to do was make light of her weight or to hurt her because of it.

Yet eventually that found its way into dirty talk time. I was very, very apprehensive about it at first and sort of felt her out (I actually think it came after I had done "fat pig" type stuff in the story "Muddin'" I put on this site, and found she responded curiously to it, if I remember correctly). I really hesitated to say it, but she responded well to it, so I kept going -- spanking her while calling her a fat pig, making her squeal, that sort of thing. I continued to be hesitant about it as I still felt like that was a boundary maybe I shouldn't approach, but in amidst the names like "slut" and "bitch," occasionally I would slip a "fat pig" in there too. For her, it was just sinking deeper into the degredation of the moment, and while had I called her that in real life, she would have deservedly lopped my head off, in sex, in fantasy, in this alternate universe, it was all part of the experience for her.

So I guess that's my advice: Just feel her out. If it hurts her, have an open, honest discussion about it. If you can sense that she's going along with it, keep pushing the envelope. I'm sure she'll let you know if you go too far.
 
Etoile said:
My wife
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Holy moly, you stopped with the spivak. Good for you! (I think)
With pigplay, I think the focus is more on becoming a character (the pig) rather than BEING a pig (because you're overweight). You become the pig because of your behavior, not your looks. Skinny people can engage in pigplay too!
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Physical resemblence is always part of any play, at least for me. If we are pretending to be teacher/student, I might expect her to wear a plaid/grey skirt with a collared shirt. If she is a dog girl, I'd probably put a dog collar on her. For a piggirl, there isn't much too it and having some weight makes it for me. I also see it as a way of "punishing" her for her weight. I dunno, but a skinny piggirl is like, well, a 50 year-old playing a schoolgirl, or maybe a fat girl playing a goth. The incongruity doesn't turn me on.

Christhecat said:
Ooh, I can chime in here ...

My ex, who I was very much in love with, was, to be honest, overweight. She felt this was the largest part of the reason she had never had guy either as a boyfriend or as a sex partner (and while it seemed unlikely, it was also hard to argue with), so she had body image issues, to be sure. I had fallen in love with her personality sight unseen, and so while it's not exactly like my preference is for heavier women, it was not a factor for me -- I found her beautiful, and she knew I did.

We also participated in humilating play, at least verbally. Neither of us had much sexual experiences, but we found we enjoyed it, me as the dominant and her as the subsmissive, and found boundaries constantly being pushed farther and farther. But the last thing I ever wanted to do was make light of her weight or to hurt her because of it.

Yet eventually that found its way into dirty talk time. I was very, very apprehensive about it at first and sort of felt her out (I actually think it came after I had done "fat pig" type stuff in the story "Muddin'" I put on this site, and found she responded curiously to it, if I remember correctly). I really hesitated to say it, but she responded well to it, so I kept going -- spanking her while calling her a fat pig, making her squeal, that sort of thing. I continued to be hesitant about it as I still felt like that was a boundary maybe I shouldn't approach, but in amidst the names like "slut" and "bitch," occasionally I would slip a "fat pig" in there too. For her, it was just sinking deeper into the degredation of the moment, and while had I called her that in real life, she would have deservedly lopped my head off, in sex, in fantasy, in this alternate universe, it was all part of the experience for her.

So I guess that's my advice: Just feel her out. If it hurts her, have an open, honest discussion about it. If you can sense that she's going along with it, keep pushing the envelope. I'm sure she'll let you know if you go too far.
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Thanks for your story and advice.
 
I remember the first time a Dom called me a pigslut. I was horrified! Funny thing is - after awhile I began to enjoy it....
 
MechaBlade said:
<snip>Physical resemblence is always part of any play, at least for me. If we are pretending to be teacher/student, I might expect her to wear a plaid/grey skirt with a collared shirt. If she is a dog girl, I'd probably put a dog collar on her. For a piggirl, there isn't much too it and having some weight makes it for me. I also see it as a way of "punishing" her for her weight. I dunno, but a skinny piggirl is like, well, a 50 year-old playing a schoolgirl, or maybe a fat girl playing a goth. The incongruity doesn't turn me on.<snip>
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Hmm, well I'm 45 and I've played the school girl.

I think most people would say I'm thin but I feel fat in my head so I'm sure I could play a pig as well.

Fat girls can't be Goth? I wasn't aware of that. When was that rule made? I've seen tons of fat girls and guys who are Goth.

I think it's too bad you limit yourself and the ladies you hang with to image that way but I understand guys are very visual and that is your choice.

I'm glad the people I hang with don't limit me to my physical casing. I can role play many things with them. I adore role play in many forms, so to speak.

Fury :rose:
 
MechaBlade said:
Holy moly, you stopped with the spivak. Good for you! (I think)

Physical resemblence is always part of any play, at least for me. If we are pretending to be teacher/student, I might expect her to wear a plaid/grey skirt with a collared shirt. If she is a dog girl, I'd probably put a dog collar on her. For a piggirl, there isn't much too it and having some weight makes it for me. I also see it as a way of "punishing" her for her weight. I dunno, but a skinny piggirl is like, well, a 50 year-old playing a schoolgirl, or maybe a fat girl playing a goth. The incongruity doesn't turn me on.


Thanks for your story and advice.
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I guess my question is why do you feel you have to punish her for her weight? Isn't that part of the fantasy? :confused:
 
MechaBlade said:
Holy moly, you stopped with the spivak. Good for you! (I think)
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As far as I've gathered there are both wife and daddy in Etoile's life.

MechaBlade said:
Physical resemblence is always part of any play, at least for me. If we are pretending to be teacher/student, I might expect her to wear a plaid/grey skirt with a collared shirt. If she is a dog girl, I'd probably put a dog collar on her. For a piggirl, there isn't much too it and having some weight makes it for me. I also see it as a way of "punishing" her for her weight. I dunno, but a skinny piggirl is like, well, a 50 year-old playing a schoolgirl, or maybe a fat girl playing a goth. The incongruity doesn't turn me on.
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If you are planning on getting together with someone only for pig-play I think it should be possible to find some lightly overweight woman who finds it hot to be humiliated about her weight. Might not be easy, because there is enough pressure to make even the average or skinny women self-conscious about their weight.
And if you say that in general you prefer average or skinny women it doesn't sound like you're planning on any close relationship. It just might be easier to change your fantasy a bit to include average women. Who might be humiliated by references to their weight as much as fat ones. Or more if they are really working for good shape.
 
MechaBlade said:
Holy moly, you stopped with the spivak. Good for you! (I think)
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As chris9 has noted, there are indeed two partners in my life. My wife, who is female, and my Daddy, whose gender is ambiguous. Sorry to disappoint - though Spivak isn't so bad when you get used to it! I've been using it for almost 10 years and it gets very comfortable.
FurryFury said:
Also what is "spivak?"
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babiesmiles gave you a great answer. I guess I use a combination of "old" and "new" (I never knew there was a difference). I say "E shaves emself" instead of the two options shown there. If you take a look at the part on that page about "Where they are used" - LambdaMOO is the community I have been on for almost 10 years, and that's where I learned Spivak pronouns myself. I find them much more comfortable than singular they. :)
 
FurryFury said:
Hmm, well I'm 45 and I've played the school girl.

[...]Fat girls can't be Goth? I wasn't aware of that. When was that rule made? I've seen tons of fat girls and guys who are Goth.
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And both of these examples are as incongruous as a white chick performing an ebony fantasy in blackface. Which could totally work for some people. Just not me.

I think it's too bad you limit yourself and the ladies you hang with to image that way but I understand guys are very visual and that is your choice.
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I have no control over what gets me off and how.

raven2 said:
I guess my question is why do you feel you have to punish her for her weight? Isn't that part of the fantasy? :confused:
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Yes it is. I don't know why I feel I have to punish her for it. Maybe it allows me to find attraction in those I did not previously feel attraction to.

chris9 said:
And if you say that in general you prefer average or skinny women it doesn't sound like you're planning on any close relationship. It just might be easier to change your fantasy a bit to include average women. Who might be humiliated by references to their weight as much as fat ones. Or more if they are really working for good shape.
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That's true, it likely wouldn't be a very long-term relationship. Some average-sized women, as I have noted above, may fit into the fantasy.

Etoile said:
As chris9 has noted, there are indeed two partners in my life. My wife, who is female, and my Daddy, whose gender is ambiguous. Sorry to disappoint - though Spivak isn't so bad when you get used to it! I've been using it for almost 10 years and it gets very comfortable.
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My apologies. I thought you only had a Daddy and I thought I knew why you were using Spivak. I think I was probably wrong.
 
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