Old 03-07-2014, 11:22 AM   #1
butters
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mini-challenge

write something using this title

Cold Fire: Strange Flames
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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Old 03-07-2014, 02:22 PM   #2
champagne1982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butters View Post
write something using this title

Cold Fire: Strange Flames
The fuel jetted condenses frost
burn down my spine with central
heat sparked an arc between lips
and flesh to ignite ice blue
flames licked across tinder too long
dry to melt and extinguish the fiery
agony that soothes with passage
as it consumes what stands beside it.
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Old 03-07-2014, 02:25 PM   #3
Remec
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Cold Fire: Strange Flames

She had a passion,
a quiet hunger,
that she fed with as
little emotion
as was possible,

Not that you would
have ever guessed,
she wore it well,
stoic fašade,

And no one
ever knew,
not a soul,

About
how she

Burned.
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Old 03-07-2014, 09:30 PM   #4
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Here.
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Old 03-07-2014, 11:20 PM   #5
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a match burns twice
to him the flames
don't match his pain
it's cold as it melts the flesh
on his arm
strange smell of his own roasting meat
repeat until the box is done
pox marked scars dot
he feels more
he feels less
he burns ice
the price he payed
for his parents vice
roll a dice for the next burn
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Old 03-09-2014, 01:15 PM   #6
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Cold Fire: Strange Flames

Supposed to chase boys
Not attracted to girls
For some it annoys
Controversy swirls

Aloof and driven
Knows just what she wants
Those names she's given
They don't even smart

To obtain her degree
She'd jump in cold fire
Knowledge sets her free
Consumed by strange flames
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Old 03-09-2014, 01:19 PM   #7
butters
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
a match burns twice
to him the flames
don't match his pain
it's cold as it melts the flesh
on his arm
strange smell of his own roasting meat
repeat until the box is done
pox marked scars dot
he feels more
he feels less
he burns ice
the price he paid
for his parent's vice
roll a dice for the next burn
strong rap vibe with this one
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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Old 03-09-2014, 01:24 PM   #8
butters
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coming back to these later. some really interesting stuff going on
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:05 PM   #9
butters
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Quote:
Originally Posted by champagne1982 View Post
The fuel jetted condenses frost
burn down my spine with central
heat sparked an arc between lips
and flesh to ignite ice blue
flames licked across tinder too long
dry to melt and extinguish the fiery
agony that soothes with passage
as it consumes what stands beside it.
crammed full of imagery, that burns and sparks, arcs bright, ignites ice blue... but i'm getting tangled in the tense changes, champers, and feel i'm missing something you mean me to see. it's annoying me because it's hard to place my finger on what's not gelling so can only put it down to the switches.
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:07 PM   #10
butters
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Remec View Post
Cold Fire: Strange Flames

She had a passion,
a quiet hunger,
that she fed with as
little emotion
as was possible,

Not that you would
have ever guessed,
she wore it well,
stoic fašade,

And no one
ever knew,
not a soul,

About
how she

Burned.
this one of those diminishing hexathingies, right? loving 'a quiet hunger', and the sense of her keeping it hidden from general view. Contrasts nicely with those end lines. kicker
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:10 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsotha View Post
ooh, and another! really like this bit, tsotha:

Quote:
forced to sleep,
this cold fire
sleepwalks, dreams...
this cold fire speaks of love
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:13 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogwatch View Post
Cold Fire: Strange Flames

Supposed to chase boys
Not attracted to girls
For some it annoys
Controversy swirls

Aloof and driven
Knows just what she wants
Those names she's given
They don't even smart

To obtain her degree
She'd jump in cold fire
Knowledge sets her free
Consumed by strange flames
thanks for joining in this mini-challenge, dogwatch interesting twist.
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:46 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butters View Post
thanks for joining in this mini-challenge, dogwatch interesting twist.
Thank you! It's just a quicky.

It is a fun to bend the mind to a challenge.
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Old 03-09-2014, 04:37 PM   #14
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cold fire: strange flames

beyond this world's bright arc
its shadowed scythe
that slices through the songless void
dreaming of sound
fire remembers itself
though not its shape
nor whisper of its heat
just that it was
it is
it will be
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Old 03-10-2014, 03:10 PM   #15
champagne1982
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The fuel jetted subject condenses verb frost
burn
down my spine (and when mixed) with central
heat (these) sparked an arc (static electricity) between lips
and flesh to ignite ice blue
flames (that) lick across tinder too long
dry
to melt and extinguish the fiery
agony that soothes
with passage
as they (the flames) consume what stands too close.

I'm pretty much talking about a natural gas or propane burner flame... It looks cold but when it's that colour is actually intensely hot. As well, natural gas and propane are compressed and quite cold when they expand (conservation of energy) so that's the frost and burn that I am trying to capture. And I don't know if you've ever experienced any kind of heat therapy but the effects linger and do soothe pain for a while afterwards. The melt and extinguish is a reference to wood that's got a bit of snow and ice stuck to it so that when it's tossed onto a fire, will produce enough moisture to at least cool some coals or with a fire that's not established, could put it out.

I hope the notes help somewhat and thanks for giving me some great feedback toward an edit.
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Old 03-10-2014, 03:22 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by champagne1982 View Post
The fuel jetted subject condenses verb frost
burn
down my spine (and when mixed) with central
heat (these) sparked an arc (static electricity) between lips
and flesh to ignite ice blue
flames (that) lick across tinder too long
dry
to melt and extinguish the fiery
agony that soothes
with passage
as they (the flames) consume what stands too close.

I'm pretty much talking about a natural gas or propane burner flame... It looks cold but when it's that colour is actually intensely hot. As well, natural gas and propane are compressed and quite cold when they expand (conservation of energy) so that's the frost and burn that I am trying to capture. And I don't know if you've ever experienced any kind of heat therapy but the effects linger and do soothe pain for a while afterwards. The melt and extinguish is a reference to wood that's got a bit of snow and ice stuck to it so that when it's tossed onto a fire, will produce enough moisture to at least cool some coals or with a fire that's not established, could put it out.

I hope the notes help somewhat and thanks for giving me some great feedback toward an edit.
Oh, that's cool! I was quite confused, too, to be honest.
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Old 03-10-2014, 04:36 PM   #17
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Tsotha - the link i mentioned

http://www.redorbit.com/news/space/1...flames-061813/

Tess, thanks a lot for enlightening me and not shooting me down in flames and that's quite enough dreadful punning
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Old 03-10-2014, 04:48 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butters View Post
Tsotha - the link i mentioned

http://www.redorbit.com/news/space/1...flames-061813/

Tess, thanks a lot for enlightening me and not shooting me down in flames and that's quite enough dreadful punning
Oh, I see now where that came from. But it's cool that your strange flames poem managed to stay open to many interpretations.
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:25 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butters View Post
Tsotha - the link i mentioned

http://www.redorbit.com/news/space/1...flames-061813/

Tess, thanks a lot for enlightening me and not shooting me down in flames and that's quite enough dreadful punning
Silly, did you mean me? I'm not Tess, y'all couldn't handle a champitess (cross between a champagne and a 'tess. )
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:43 AM   #20
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Silly, did you mean me? I'm not Tess, y'all couldn't handle a champitess (cross between a champagne and a 'tess. )
sorry! that's not the first time, is it? don't know why i get your names mixed up; i DO know i'm speaking to you, not tess. silly fingers!
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:09 AM   #21
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Quote:
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Silly, did you mean me? I'm not Tess, y'all couldn't handle a champitess (cross between a champagne and a 'tess. )
But wouldn't we just jump at the opportunity.


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Old 03-12-2014, 09:51 PM   #22
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Not that you would
By duty prompted,
Or that you wouldn't
If so inclined,
Gray silence cools you down.

No urgent need
Nor creeping doubt,
A perfect set
To warm your heart's,
Every sufficient tomorrow.
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Old 03-15-2014, 02:10 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
Not that you would
By duty prompted,
Or that you wouldn't
If so inclined,
Gray silence cools you down.

No urgent need
Nor creeping doubt,
A perfect set
To warm your heart's,
Every sufficient tomorrow.
this has my mind meandering over possible paths. but i really really like Gray silence cools you down. it slows the piece right down, and sends me wandering.
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