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Old 08-31-2014, 12:46 PM   #1
Magnetron
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The Adventures Of Buck Cocky : Episode One : Misogyny Like Space Has No Boundaries

The Adventures Of Buck Cocky : Episode One : Misogyny Like Space Has No Boundaries


The deep space freighter Uranus Probe D landed
In the cracked sphincter of your moon crater
Piloted singlehandedly
By yours truly,
Captain Buck Cocky

As I descended the landing platform
You all greeted me
Not really with open arms
Because you had really tiny arms
And really tiny legs
And really tiny bodies
Barely withstanding normal sized alien heads

It was like being approached by a mob of bobble headed fetuses
All clamoring for my attention

Femaliens to be precise

Not a single tiny penis amongst the mobble

Each of them telepathically communicating to me
Their communal desire to satisfy
My every pure male fantasy

I picked up the Queen of the Bobble Headed Fetuses
And began to throat fuck her

It was satisfying
Much like banging a watermelon
Or a Gungunnite

Upon having discharged my payload
Into her tiny esophagus
I punted the Queen like a football

Not having taken gravity into consideration
She spiraled upward

Upward

Upward

Until she was very distant in the star speckled atmosphere
Far away like my recollections of the Human Race
I left behind so long ago
On my quest for out of this world Strange
To mingle with minge outside my species

It did not matter
There were plenty more of these Bobble Headed Fetuses
To satisfy my fantastic pure male urges

They were all pretty much the same

I throat fucked a few more of my newfound nob gobbling bobblers
And tossed them aside
Before retiring to my captain's quarters
Settling comfortably into my hibernation pod
And dreaming of what it would be like to have intercourse
With a real female human for the very first time in my life
Since my banishment from Earth
For being a major douchebag

Last edited by Magnetron : 09-02-2014 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 08-31-2014, 02:32 PM   #2
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How old are these bobble headed fetuses? Do they have a drivers license as ID?
Just checkin, 'cause ya know...
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Old 08-31-2014, 03:06 PM   #3
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Lemme tell ya, it's a real chore having to choke back the laughter everytime I read this so no one in my household will ever know I wrote it.
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Old 08-31-2014, 03:08 PM   #4
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Absolute genius. We should make a thread and fill it with bobble head alien chicks and mantis sex.
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derpity derp herp derp
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Old 08-31-2014, 03:56 PM   #5
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mobble

the bestest word
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poetry submissions


What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:20 PM   #6
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You're an inspired poet, Mag, don't consummate yourself with femaliens, Women need you!
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:23 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
You're an inspired poet, Mag, don't consummate yourself with femaliens, Women need you!
You've seen Femalien I and II, right?
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:26 PM   #8
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Quote:
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You've seen Femalien I and II, right?
I don't get you.
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:52 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelegrino View Post
I don't get you.
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3479674393

bflagsst's a space perv.
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:57 PM   #10
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Softcore porno at its finest. We used to rent VHS like that from HollyWood video back in HS when we still had dial-up internet and didn't know how to acquire real porno.
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Old 08-31-2014, 09:45 PM   #11
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What were you banished from earth for?
__________________

Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:26 AM   #12
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
What were you banished from earth for?
Possibly he was banished for fantasizin' 'bout Femaliens ?
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:48 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
What were you banished from earth for?
Isn't it obvious?

For being a douchebag.
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Old 09-01-2014, 08:05 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetron View Post
Isn't it obvious?

For being a douchebag.
Then you must have taken douche bagginess to some as yet unknown extreme because as far as I have seen with the offenders still around us, that's no reason for banishment.
__________________

Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-01-2014, 08:46 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetron View Post
Isn't it obvious?

For being a douchebag.
What a poet needs?

either a space ship
or a ferris wheel
something that spins
and doesn't just lie there with a string attached
oozing in juice
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Old 09-01-2014, 08:48 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Then you must have taken douche bagginess to some as yet unknown extreme because as far as I have seen with the offenders still around us, that's no reason for banishment.
Name names!
Name names!
Name names!
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Old 09-01-2014, 09:47 AM   #17
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetron View Post
Isn't it obvious?

For being a douchebag.
thought I'd share, one Dbag to another

Texas and the big beater

I have a chevy on cinderblocks
sometimes I set off a bug bomb
to drive the scorpions out
I sit and breath the fumes
and God comes down to talk to me

I wish we wouldn't make me wear a sheet
and call me casper
doesn't he know who I am
but sometimes he brings women along
and the chevy falls off of the blocks

and sometimes the aliens stop by
take me up
and fix my teeth

- ParrotDee i.e. me and my brother, but this one looks more me.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:26 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
Name names!
Name names!
Name names!
Is your middle name 'Paranoid'? There is a world outside Lit you know? and it's full of Douche bags, actually the place I found the douche baggiest was Twitter ......... I left.
__________________

Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-01-2014, 03:12 PM   #19
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Exclamation

Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Is your middle name 'Paranoid'? There is a world outside Lit you know? and it's full of Douche bags, actually the place I found the douche baggiest was Twitter ......... I left.
U know , Annie , there was a world famous & succesful CEO most probably of Intel ( he was of Cech Origin , i do believe ) who said " Only the Paranoid survive " ! ( he meant in the cut throat world of Software , IT , Computers )
12-oh-1 has assimilated & internalized this Mantra into his very molecules , his being , his soul !!
This is just a Comment , old Timer , no Offence intended .
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:19 PM   #20
UnderYourSpell
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lols at Old Timer
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:42 PM   #21
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Is your middle name 'Paranoid'? There is a world outside Lit you know? and it's full of Douche bags, actually the place I found the douche baggiest was Twitter ......... I left.
post it on twitter, and tie a string around your finger, next time Koba posts anything bring you spankie smilies, he needs them, he loves them. While you're at it give Ash a whack.
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:51 PM   #22
UnderYourSpell
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It's you that needs working on, relax I know what I'm doing you'll thank me for this later ............. maybe
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:58 PM   #23
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
It's you that needs working on, relax I know what I'm doing you'll thank me for this later ............. maybe
ah,ah,ah
instincts take over
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Old 09-01-2014, 09:25 PM   #24
Tsotha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetron View Post
Isn't it obvious?

For being a douchebag.
Going where no douchebag has ever gone before.
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derpity derp herp derp
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Old 09-02-2014, 11:47 AM   #25
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I edited the ending the give the reader the appropriate closure necessary and to serve as further justification for having written this craptacular nonsense.
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