Old 07-31-2014, 04:40 PM   #1
TOKUQINN
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Poet At The Edge

I know a poet
who lived like a bum most of his life.

I know a poet
who skipped the rent and the landlady all the time

I know a poet
who was a disappointment to his father
for leading a life with complete aimlessness.

I know a poet
who had blue collar jobs
one after another.

I know a poet
Mozart was his midnight friend
when he was writing poems.

I know a poet
who was a bar fly.

I know a poet
who was broke like hell
who exchanged his small fortunes with booze.

I know a poet
who picked bar ladies to get laid
who picked bar guys to brawl for fun.

I know a poet
who sent his poems without any moderation
to the low brow publishers.

I know a poet
like many poets
who dreamed his wits might sustain his life.

I know a poet
who was very sick one night
and close to die.

I know a poet
who was a little whimsy
in a crazy world.

I know a poet
who kept going and going
until he genius discovered by the big ones
until he had earned a fame
close to his death.

I know a poet
who became a publishing phenomenon
who inspired others
to write like him.

I know a poet
who lived on the edge
who left a great footprint
on the poetry ground.

I am glad to know him.

TOKUQINN
ISTANBUL/TURKEY

Last edited by TOKUQINN : 08-01-2014 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 07-31-2014, 07:05 PM   #2
twelveoone
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I knew a poet
who once left comments
and would advice the same

This poet I knew
wise beyond his years oft said
If you can't parse it, maybe, it's really not there

And midway through his journey in life
in a forest full of tampons
he saw a tree
pissed on it
and got out fast
before the chainsaws of Poetic Souls
howling and yowling came in

Later he had a beer.

Put it in perspective
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Old 07-31-2014, 10:25 PM   #3
UnderYourSpell
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What's a blue color job?
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 07-31-2014, 10:31 PM   #4
Magnetron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
What's a blue color job?
Usually decent paying unionized labor as far as the States goes. Auto factory workers and such.
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Old 07-31-2014, 11:54 PM   #5
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
What's a blue color job?
a blow job by a girl with blue lipstick
quitted must be one of those goddawefull rap terms for ejaculation

he probably meant collar as in blue collar an extinct species in the US
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Old 08-01-2014, 12:30 AM   #6
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOKUQINN View Post

I know a poet
who was very hands on
as a cockroach exterminator.
- for this service
he skipped the rent and the landlady.
Go with this,
First off, how good is your English? Do you see how funny this is?

I know a poet
who lived at slums most of his life
who was a street denizen time to time.

I know a poet
who was very hands on
as a cockroach exterminator.
- for this service
he skipped the rent and the landlady.

I am glad to know him.

(but I'll be damned if I'll shake his hand)
or continuing

I know this poet
who lived on the edge
who left a great footprint
on the poetry ground.

Plus he taught me
how to jack cars for cigarettes.

(unfortunately the police matched the footprints)

Perhaps that is not what you are looking for.

A serious piece of advice, find some one in New Poems, preferably some one that leaves comments (why reward the deadbeats), read theirs, read their poems, leave some comments. Leave a five, 'cause right now they are probably better than you.

What I am asking you to do, is very simply this, if you like something, find out why.

One the plus this is organized, and it has its moments, it is basically a modified list poem, which is inherently boring, That is a limitation of the form which you have to work around.
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Old 08-01-2014, 03:50 AM   #7
TOKUQINN
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............................................................

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Last edited by TOKUQINN : 08-01-2014 at 06:21 PM. Reason: ---------------------------------------
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Old 08-01-2014, 04:02 AM   #8
smoothg103rd
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOKUQINN View Post
A serious piece of advice, suck my cock.....
U mad bro?
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Old 08-01-2014, 04:25 AM   #9
todski28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOKUQINN View Post
A serious piece of advice, suck my cock.....
I am confused by your reaction, 1201 has added a compliment that this piece has its moments, he has detailed where things are wrong and made allowance for the fact that English may be a second language. the last poem you posted here had some silly comments but not much of substance. take of the blinders of feeling insulted and try to re-read when you aren't angry.

this could be a means to your writing getting better with some more thought on what has been said. not much else got offered to you by any one else think about why, maybe no one thought it worth comment, I read it and didn't have much time for the piece so moved on quickly. 1201 read it parsed it and offered you more than any other, please think about that at least.
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Old 08-01-2014, 12:26 PM   #10
UnderYourSpell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetron View Post
Usually decent paying unionized labor as far as the States goes. Auto factory workers and such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
a blow job by a girl with blue lipstick
quitted must be one of those goddawefull rap terms for ejaculation

he probably meant collar as in blue collar an extinct species in the US
I knew he meant 'blue collar' I was being facetious naughty me *slapped wrist* although I do prefer the blow job answer lol
__________________

Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 08-01-2014, 04:48 PM   #11
Tsotha
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You can't make people enjoy your poems more by asking them to suck your cock, no matter inclination or how wonderful it is. You might, however, by not feeling offended by what others say, and taking it under consideration.
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Old 08-01-2014, 09:02 PM   #12
twelveoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
I knew a poet
who once left comments
and would advice the same

This poet I knew
wise beyond his years oft said
If you can't parse it, maybe, it's really not there

And midway through his journey in life
in a forest full of tampons
he saw a tree
pissed on it
and got out fast
before the chainsaws of Poetic Souls
howling and yowling came in

Later he had a beer.

Put it in perspective
suffering from toxic shock, tokipoo?
I read three of your poems, they all suffer from O how important I am. Over in new poems, I haven't seen a comment from you. Too good?
What I said that there are at least 5 poets over in New poems that are better than you that do leave comments. You could have shut your fucking mouth, stuffed your ego along with your limp dick up your ass, and fucking leaned something.

"A serious piece of advice, suck my cock"
WOW, that is the most serious defense of your writing you could muster?
Well at least you didn't claim the "poet' defense.
This poem is a list poem, at least 20 people could have generated it in their sleep, and at least 18 of them would have thought better about posting it.
"A serious piece of advice, suck my cock"
On the street, I guarantee, I may have responded differently...decorum, you know.
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