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Old 08-10-2001, 06:19 PM   #126
cymbidia
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Questions about bruising from a GB thread

Can anyone shed anymore light on the question of bruising - or playing safely?
cym


Quote:
Originally posted by willfulbrat
My current fantasty involves needleplay. It's up in the air right now as to whether or not that will come to reality tonight.

And speaking of bruising, does anyone know what causes bruising too easily?
Quote:
cymbidia:
The needleplay:
You getting or giving?
Where?
What gauge?
Play or permanent?
Restrained or not?

The bruising question is a good one to ask in the BDSM thread, babes. Bet someone there knows.
Quote:
willfulbrat
I'll be getting. I've not had any training for needleplay yet.

She is going to pierce down the outside of my arms, lace the needles and tie me to the cross by the lacing, and singletail me. And if we play again, she talked about corsetting with needles.

This piercing will be temporary. I would like to have my nipples repierced again, permanently.

She will use 24-18 gauge.

Right now I still have severe bruising from a relatively light caning. My Mentor says he doesn't think I should play again until we find out why I'm bruising so badly. Do you think it could be old, deep bruises coming to the surface from the caning?
Quote:
cymbidia
I don't have a clue why you could be bruising so easily and so badly, willful. Some medicines interfere with clotting. Do you take aspirin? What about smoking/drinking? I've heard that smokers/drinkers bleed and bruise more readily, too.

There are ways to minimize bruising caused by playing hard though. Go read here: http://www.castlerealm.com/library/jadesoap2.shtml
and here
http://www.prophett.net/library/info/bruising.html.

Here's an all-purpose BDSM links page, one of the very best i've ever seen, that has an *extensive* section on playing safely: http://www.prodomination.com/resour...e/helplinks.htm

Sounds like you're playing hard, darlin'. You must feel that your Dom/mes are taking good care of you or you wouldn't be playing so hard, right? As someone who has seen the inside of an ER a couple of times, i gotta say this to you: be sure you're safe. Even then, even safe in the care of someone who really cares for you and tries hard to be safe with you, for you, accidents happen. Most of us end up in the ER once or twice but you gotta play safe and play smart, babes, even while you're playing hard, to make it only once or twice instead of more often.

This ought to go on the BDSM thread.
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Old 08-11-2001, 11:30 PM   #127
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Red face

ah-choo!

~sniffles~ Oops.
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Old 08-12-2001, 01:17 AM   #128
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Well, while we're all being so well and so graciously educated on BDSM, I do actually have a question.

Gor. The whole Gorean thing, while I've read about it quite extensively, does not make *any* sense to me.

(I don't really need a primer on Gor, I'm more interested in y'all's opinions.)

Anyway, I gather there are some tensions in both the mainstream BDSM community (now there's a term you don't hear too often! But an accurate one, nevertheless...) and the Gorean sub-culture. There also, converesly seems to be debate within the Gorean world about if it *is* truly a BDSM lifestyle.

I can't really help it - I think of it like some ongoing Star Trek convention, except half the population is referring to themselves in the third person. I can totally understand the attraction of BDSM, even in it's most extreme 24/7 practice, but this I really struggle with. It's about as close as I've ever come to saying "these people are whacked" about someone else's lifestyle choices.

Someone educate me, please. The next step for me might be Republicanism.
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Old 08-12-2001, 02:51 AM   #129
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Try to use as large a gauge needle as possible. If you use a piercing needle, push the needle through the skin first. Leave it there and put a "large" safety pin down the hollow shaft. Hold the safety pin in place and remove the piercing needle. A piercing needle is so sharp it won't leave a scar, and the safety pin should be big enough to play without injury.

Anything smaller than 14 gauge may tear. I even know of instances where 14ga have been torn out from rough play.

You will soon see pics here on this process being done on my darling cym.

Worked like a charm. ~grin~

MS.
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Old 08-13-2001, 03:33 AM   #130
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Creidhne

Thank you for the advice, Sir. Fourteen gauge seems very large, but with your reassurance that it won't scar, I will ask her to use that size.

The safety pins are a new idea to me. Are there special surgical grade safety pins that should be used? Or do you just sterilize regular safety pins?
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Old 08-13-2001, 09:19 AM   #131
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I've always just used regular safety pins. New and well sterilized. Never had a problem. cym picked up some large ones that are a perfect fit into the 14ga piercing needle. she even found some in a gold color. Very cool.

It may depend on how sensitive you are to metals also. Like can you only wear gold earrings. That kind of thing. If you are, I guess you could find stainless pins.

MS.
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Old 08-13-2001, 09:48 PM   #132
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Quote:
Originally posted by DarlingBri
Well, while we're all being so well and so graciously educated on BDSM, I do actually have a question.

Gor. The whole Gorean thing, while I've read about it quite extensively, does not make *any* sense to me.

(I don't really need a primer on Gor, I'm more interested in y'all's opinions.)

Anyway, I gather there are some tensions in both the mainstream BDSM community (now there's a term you don't hear too often! But an accurate one, nevertheless...) and the Gorean sub-culture. There also, converesly seems to be debate within the Gorean world about if it *is* truly a BDSM lifestyle.

I can't really help it - I think of it like some ongoing Star Trek convention, except half the population is referring to themselves in the third person. I can totally understand the attraction of BDSM, even in it's most extreme 24/7 practice, but this I really struggle with. It's about as close as I've ever come to saying "these people are whacked" about someone else's lifestyle choices.

Someone educate me, please. The next step for me might be Republicanism.
I've never heard of this. Can you enlighten me??
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Old 08-13-2001, 10:04 PM   #133
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Quote:
Anyway, I gather there are some tensions in both the mainstream BDSM community (now there's a term you don't hear too often! But an accurate one, nevertheless...) and the Gorean sub-culture. There also, converesly seems to be debate within the Gorean world about if it *is* truly a BDSM lifestyle.
My first D/s experience was Gorean. The problem that mainstream BDSM community's have with Gor, especially RL Gorean relationships, is that Goreans do not follow the "Safe, Sane, and Consentual" creed. In mainstream BDSM, submissives are generally allowed to negotiate a scene (set their hard limits) and given a safeword should the play go beyond their tolerance.

In Gorean-style D/s, the submissives are slaves and there are no safewords. The Masters do whatever they choose to their slaves and the slave has no say whatsoever (unless she/he has an unusually kind Master). Safewords are not used in Gor.
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Old 08-13-2001, 10:05 PM   #134
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That, and you may die of thirst if you ask a Gorean kajira for a drink, by the time she brings it. LOL
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Old 08-13-2001, 10:47 PM   #135
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Greetings all,

Well I've finally caught up on this post and have subsequently forgotten all of my questions. I just recently found this site and have found everything here quite informative and enjoyable, thank you. Well at least one question came back to me, these parties/munches and such, how do I find them in my area. I live in Boston so I know they are out there and nearby, but I'm not sure where to look. I am also only 19, are there often age limits at these sorts of things? Does anyone have any more information on the Gorean subject, it sounds interesting ;;smiles;;

~Eris
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Old 08-13-2001, 11:05 PM   #136
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Just run a quick search on the web for "BDSM munchs" there are just tons out there I recently did than and found 6 grops in our area.

Good luck ....check them out, there cool................
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Old 08-13-2001, 11:31 PM   #137
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Quote:
Originally posted by Eris
Well at least one question came back to me, these parties/munches and such, how do I find them in my area. I live in Boston so I know they are out there and nearby, but I'm not sure where to look.
As Wizard said, do a web search for BDSM. A good jumping off point is the Janus website. I believe it's www.janus.org but don't quote me on that. They have NUMEROUS links. I believe www.shibari.org has a ton of links as well.


Quote:
I am also only 19, are there often age limits at these sorts of things?
It depends on the organization. I know of one in town that has members as young as 16. Personally, I think that's shitty. Most begin at 18, so you should be fine.


Quote:
Does anyone have any more information on the Gorean subject, it sounds interesting ;;smiles;;
Probably very interesting if you're the Dom/Top, maybe not so if you're the Sub/Bot. Anyway, you should be able to get info on this the same way - do a search on Gorean and you should get some hits. Uh, no pun intended.



Quote:
Originally posted by willfulbrat
In Gorean-style D/s, the submissives are slaves and there are no safewords. The Masters do whatever they choose to their slaves and the slave has no say whatsoever (unless she/he has an unusually kind Master). Safewords are not used in Gor.
I think I'm with DarlingBri on this one, it just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe because I am too big of a believer that EVERYONE has feelings. Who the hell am I to tell my sub, "fuck that what I'm doing to you is beyond what you can tolerate. You're my slave so I can do whatever because your feelings don't count"? Maybe I'm reading this wrong but that's the way I'm taking it. Even if I had a slave, I would still allow that person a safeword. WTF?? Thank you for giving me this information. I'll run away screaming from anyone approaching me with this philosophy.
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Old 08-15-2001, 08:32 PM   #138
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You might try Yahoo groups for info on bdsm activities in your area. They took over egroups. There was a lot less censorship at egroups, but some have survived the change.


I saw a rerun of I Dream of Jeannie. My ears perked every time she called him Master.
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Old 08-15-2001, 09:07 PM   #139
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Quote:
Originally posted by WriterDom
I saw a rerun of I Dream of Jeannie. My ears perked every time she called him Master.
LMAO!!

I have a question. I've been hearing a lot about the different types of floggers available. What's the difference and how can you tell if what you're buying is high quality?
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Old 08-15-2001, 09:34 PM   #140
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Thank you for the information. I have found a group that meets twice a month and its just a 20 minute walk from my school, suprisingly convenient. I have also found plenty of informaiton on gor. Actually, Blackbich, I was looking at it as a sub myself, I like the idea of complete lack of control. Of course that requires the right master who already knows his sub's limits, but what I've been reading is different than what I expected.

*No man is an island, no man is a potao salad either*

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Old 08-15-2001, 11:39 PM   #141
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blackbich
I have a question. I've been hearing a lot about the different types of floggers available. What's the difference and how can you tell if what you're buying is high quality?
There's a zillion different types of floggers, BB. Basically, go touch them. Lift them. Hold them. Swing them. Get to know which you'd use on a back and/or butt and which would be of more exquisite use on genitals or nipples.

Your personal preferences play into this, too. You might not like deerhide, for example, or have a fetish going for rubber. You might love small, tuck-in-your-purse floggers that sting and startle but never do any damage past that or you might develop a fondness for heavy leather braided floggers that redden the skin at first blow and can bruise it, or worse, with the application of repeated and strong blows.

Your flogging technique will influence your choice of floggers, too. Do you go for the classic X-patterened strokes? You'll need longer tails on your flogger to reach all extremes. Like to flog away at genitals? Gotta have a small, highly manueverable flogger for that, to be effective. Breats are different than cocks are different than butts. You'll probably end up with several floggers, to be honest.

Quality is an issue. Check for good contruction as you would with anything, really. The material will influence the workmanship to some extent. Sloppy workmanship is bad in all cases, but that's true for anything you buy, right?

Here are a few links for some light reading on the subject:

http://www.frugaldomme.com/toys/flog.htm

http://www.domsubnation.com/linkashs.htm
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Old 08-15-2001, 11:55 PM   #142
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I'd say the first major investment of a Dom/me is in quality ankle and wrists restraints. Once you've made that purchase you can turn to floggers. Quality floggers run from $60 to $200. But they last forever, and what is costs compared to the tight buttocks of your happy sub? I think you need a thumpy flogger and a stingy flogger. A thumpy one is probably the best one to start with. Ask around and post a few and maybe we can help you decide
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Old 08-16-2001, 08:03 AM   #143
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BB,
Be sure to go cand check out a tack shop or feed store for their supply of leather goods. I am always pleasantly surprized at the wonderful toys I have found there. I got an AWESOME leather slapper for 8$--i guess it was not on anyone else's shopping list.
; )
This is also the best place to buy your crop--they cost 5$ in the feed store but 25 in the "toystore" for the exact same item. The selections seems to better for those in the feed store.
This is a good place to get hardware too--ya know--if it is designed to hold a thrashing horse, it will likely be a good bet for your collection.
OF course, don't discount anything or any place. My first floggers were made from stuff on sale at HobbyLobby. We played with them and figured out different handles. My fave is very crude looking but oh-so-delicious--and probably my fave in my collection.Of course, that psychedelic blue rubber flogger is mightly nice too.
Be sure to hit Wallyworld. That has loads of fun. It is a fave shopping trip with a lover. The wooden spoons are fun to carry around. (Be sure to have the sub carry the basket!) Clothespins come in a variety. Trying on the dog collar in the store is also fun.
Happy shopping.

Oh, and WD, I would have to disagree with you on purchasing "quality restraints" in the beginning. Until you know what you need/want, you are likely to be disappointed and feel you have wasted your money. Before that, see if you can find a rope bondage seminar -that will be worth its weight in gold. Scarves are good too. And of course, the simple "Don't move." command can be excellent when you are either a newbie or a vetran player. If you want some restraints to work with in the first place, I would suggest some of the velcro variety. They are cheap, you can see what features you like or would change, and then you can invest in the good stuff.
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Old 08-16-2001, 10:09 AM   #144
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Tack shops are fun places. I've wondered how much of their whip/crop business goes to people who don't have horses. You can also get a horsehair whip there pretty cheap if you want more of a sensation toy rather than a pain toy.

I never thought of looking for hardware there. Most of that stuff I get at home depot. I think I'm going to get 4 short lengths of chain and keep them around each leg of the bed. They should stay pretty well hidden when not in use. I use metal connectors on all my bondage toys now. So much faster and easier than dealing with knots.
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Old 08-16-2001, 10:47 AM   #145
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Velcro! Velcro! Oh gods NOOOOOOO!

We hate velcro, MS and me. The sub can get away with little effort. I suppose that if one is just learning what they want and need from restraints, velcro might be of use but as soon as anyone gets to be more experienced, anything velcro will likely get relegated to the bottom of the bag.

I want to be locked into my bondage. Locked with padlocks. I do not want to choose to get out or not. I don't want tohave that choice at all. I want to know i'm there to stay until he releases me. It helps my focus, stokes the heat, not to have even the smidgeon of a possibility of getting free by my own efforts. But that's me.

There's some stuff you gotta buy from a "toystore" but there's lots and lots more you can get in the regular stores around your house. Tack stores are LOTS of fun to go cruising through. Home Depot is, too. Wallyworld is, too.

I think that (maybe) new people want to have big black "official" looking toys - and we all know you really pay for those, too. After one calms down a little and realizes the massive amounts of money one could spend on this little hobby, it becomes time to look around for alternatives.

We have a whole bunch of various sized padlocks that came from HomeDepot and are stronger than those offered in online BDSM toystores besides being *far* less expensive. We use them for all kinds of bondage as well as, for instance, to lock my collar on during play. We got a package of small light padlocks at a local dollar store that we use all the time on piercings.

And it's **fun** to go shopping in this way, too.
Foreplay, BDSM-style.
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Old 08-16-2001, 07:39 PM   #146
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Re: Velcro! Velcro! Oh gods NOOOOOOO!

Quote:
Originally posted by cymbidia
I want to be locked into my bondage. Locked with padlocks. I do not want to choose to get out or not. I don't want tohave that choice at all. I want to know i'm there to stay until he releases me. It helps my focus, stokes the heat, not to have even the smidgeon of a possibility of getting free by my own efforts. But that's me.

Cym,
Be careful with your enthusiasm!!!!! LOL. Do remember that she is a beginner and that things that are lame to you now were once exciting because of the novelty. Also, don't forget what it is like to play with a new partner--you and I and every experienced player knows that the truest test of trust is the play time itself--no matter how much you "know" the person, that danger risk still exists and the escapables are useful then.
As a newbie, the velcro restraints could be very useful in her learning what it feels like to have anything around her--and , of course, we all know how handy those velcro things become when putting our stuff into our bags later on. (So handy for binding the rope or the floggers). It can also give her (possibly new) partner some security in the early developing of trust.
And, of course, never ever discount any toy that could provide to be useful--we will grow older and our bodies won't be as well behaved for us forever--I know that when I am old and arthritic and my top is equally old and arthritic, I don't want him trying to fight with his joints to mess with keys--the velcro will do just fine!

~~~~

I was thinking the other day about how one of those long beef jerky sticks in plastic would make an awesome whip to tear into someone with. he he he

Any other "deniable" or creative toy ideas?
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Old 08-16-2001, 09:50 PM   #147
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I thought we were discussing Blackbich. She's a Domme, right? She doesn't need a set of sissy Velcro restraints. I spent as much money experimenting on making my own as I did the $40 on quality ankle and wrists restraints. The only factors that go into choosing them are safety, comfort, and ease of use. Why not start off with something designed for what you want to use them for? I wouldn't tell a beginning golfer to go out and spend $900 on ping irons, but this is a little different.
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Old 08-16-2001, 10:56 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally posted by WriterDom
I thought we were discussing Blackbich. She's a Domme, right? She doesn't need a set of sissy Velcro restraints.
LMFAO!!!

I KNEW I should have checked out this thread yesterday. You guys are SO cool!

I've checked out a few items at Dom Depot and Wal-Mart. I've been told that a lot of items are cheaper at a tack shop. WD, I LOVE the idea of a horse hair whip, as well as regular floggers. I had been advised to check out Ebay for floggers but I think I'll wait for a little while until I know what I'm looking for quality-wise.

I've already scoped out rope for bondage play (especially after attending the japanese bondage workshop the other night!) and I know what type of arm/leg restraints I want.

I totally understand what you're saying, cym, about restraints. I, at least in the beginning, want a way to easily remove someone if necessary without having to fumble with keys. My sub friend told me she has tried numerous times to get free of their Velcro sheets and can't do it. That will be something for future investigation.

The organization I'm part of is having a founding festival at the end of October where we're going to have a couple of outside speakers come in and demo/speak. I can't wait. At this point, I need all the education I can get. lol
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Old 08-16-2001, 11:28 PM   #149
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About those restraints

When we first got into it, I had a great set of velcro restraints. They were perfect for interruptions where I had to be out of them quickly. One way around getting out of velcro is my Master put a zip lock bag over each hand then wound duct tape around it. No thumbs, no escaping Duct tape seems to be a necessary item for the toy bag along with safety scissors.

About Gor

Been there, done that, er, am doing it. LOL. I have found the biggest difference between BDSM and Gor to be that "playing" is not what it is about. The spankings and floggings, piercings and cuttings, that is all BDSM stuff. Gor is more about submissiveness and subservience. And to be punished for being unsubmissive is not fun and not playing. I'm very involved with Gor and if anyone wants to know more I'll be happy to talk privately.

About Floggers

Well, I may be biased but my Master is a flogger craftsman. His floggers have been sold all over the US and several countries outside the US. A quality flogger will come with a lifetime gaurentee. It will feel perfect in your hand and fly true when swung. The traces will stay together when thrown and not fly all over the place. The braiding and knots will be woven tightly with no gaps showing. The handle will be weighted and balanced. The leather will be of good quality and appropriate thickness for your needs. All of these things make up a good quality flogger. I have watched my Master make hundreds of floggers, the time and effort involved is impressive, the concentration and standards admirable and the beauty of the floggers breathtaking (especially when used on my backside!)


I hadn't been the this thread for a while! Whew! It sure took off! Great idea cymbidia

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Old 08-16-2001, 11:34 PM   #150
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Quote:
Originally posted by WriterDom
I thought we were discussing Blackbich. She's a Domme, right? She doesn't need a set of sissy Velcro restraints.
WD,

Don't forget that she is a different person from you and what floats her boat may not be the EXACT same thing that floats yours.
My suggestion is for her to not discount anything.
I, personally, like the velcro restraints at times and since I have shown this and you keep responding so negatively, it is beginning to sound as if you are directly insulting me intentionally.

And--as far as problems with the leathers--if she uses some leather cuffs to bind her bottom in a standing position and he faints from pleasure and she does not have the right type of cuffs, both of them can be fucked and you know it.
Taking time to learn from various types of toys will teach her what works for her and her partner's play style.
It will also teach her what to look for.

And don't be so narcisistic--not everyone is a leather freak. What if she find the perfect bottom in a strict vegetarian who lives that way for moral reasons?
Yep, that velcro could look mighty desirable at that point....

(BB, I am not trying to indicate that you are not researching and learning as much as possible before playing. I am well aware that this is a public board and that others are likely reading that may not be aware that it is NOT as simple as grabbing whatever item is handy....)
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Last edited by BlondGirl : 08-16-2001 at 11:40 PM.
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