Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > BDSM Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 07-23-2001, 05:34 PM   #51
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
 
Hecate's Avatar
 
Hecate is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,660
Quote:
Mistress Honey
I've been told I'm not a "true" Domme because I do not like inflicting pain and am rather gentle. I choose to challenge my pets to face their fears. In some ways, this is more painful than a switch or hot wax. It's more psychological and emotional.
If you need to be a mean bitch with a will to hurt people I am not a Domme.

I once said in another forum something similar, that maybe the next statement would "out" me as a "sub in disguise" because: one of my main motivations to let my Domme side take over is that it is triggered by a sub.

Meaning: I actually do "serve" my subs by dominating them, by responding to their desire to be "taken care of", to be released from responsibility, to be freed by being bound. The causing of pain for me is hard work - I get satisfaction from seeing my sub happy, seeing his / her need being met and I bask in the glow of the trust and power I am given - that is my turn on much more than the causing of pain itself.

So - does that make me no Domme? I don't think so (and so far I never had a comlaint by my subs either ;-)) - but my "weapons" are different. As was said in the abovequote of Mistress Honey, much more than the physical dominance I like my mental, psychological power.

I wrote the rosebush analogy to explain that - but mainly it means: I want my subs to grow, face their limits and overstep boundaries they thought they couldn't master, face their little "demons" while knowing I am there , reliable, to guide them or to "rescue" them if need be. And NO, I am not claiming any special psycho-skills and I am well aware that I am just a person without psychological scientific background. But I can listen, I can watch and I know the one I love.

Again, in my view a D/s relation is not neccessarily a BDSM one ( and if you carefully read my writing it is mainly the D/s abbreviation I use, BDSM only very rarely appears in my wording), it involves a lot more than the aspect of ohysical pain during sex. THat itself is fine with me and enjoyable, but it is not the "core" of the lifestyle. For me the kick is the power exchange, the giving up and handing over of my sub's "live" into my hands - and I better make damn sure I am treating it with the care and appreciation this rare and special gift deserves. And therefore I am sure it doesn't take the enjoyment of inflicting pain to make a Dom/me (I actually am much more comfortable by NOT feeling good about it - THAT would really scare me!)


Not sure if any of that made sense ... *lol* doesn't it make you wish I was better with my whip than with my words??
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-23-2001, 05:35 PM   #52
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
 
cymbidia's Avatar
 
cymbidia is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: 97' above sea level, northern California
Posts: 8,796
I concur with Merelan, lilfrk.

This man is dangerous to you.
But don't just back off quietly, saying nothing, hoping for the best; he may see that a sign of weakness and it'll make him more eager to have you under his control. Abusers like him WANT you to be all quiet and meek and not raise a fuss. It feeds thier need for control, makes it easy for them to work you.

You need to protect yourself from him, and from the silent acquiescence he wants from you (and has from your friend).

Maybe do something like this:
1. Write a letter (a copy of the kind of thing you've told us?) detailing your suspicions about him, about her, about their relationships and (importantly) your fears for your own safety at his hands.
2. Make three copies.
3. Give one to him, one to her, and keep one yourself.
4. In the letter, to conclude it perhaps, note that your copy will be placed where someone will find it IF something bad happens to you. In other words, if you end up in the hospital, someone will come across that letter and know who hurt you.

You need to let her know that you have to remove yourself from a caretaker's role now, that you're not abandoning her as a friend but cannot give your approval to what is most definitely an injurious and abusive relationship. The you have to do it (that's the hard part).

You need to let him know that you want no contact at all with him, that you consider any contact harassment, and that you'll be willing to go talk to your work supervisor about his continued harassment if he continues to make any contact with you. If your work supervisor won't help, go talk to the police. I guarentee you that they will take your complaints seriously.

I cannot stress enough the need for you to do some positive things to remove yourself from feeling at-risk. Take control back from the abuser, lilfrk. It's your life, not his.

Please let us know how this unrolls.
We're worried for you.
__________________

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last edited by cymbidia : 07-23-2001 at 05:39 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2001, 05:11 PM   #53
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
 
lilfrk's Avatar
 
lilfrk is offline
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 7,477
I have talked it over with my husband and decided to do what you suggested. One other thing that scared me last night as I spoke with him, is that I don't know the man's last name or where he lives. Something I think I need to find out I think if I'm going to go through with this. This whole thing is just completely odd to me. We live in a tiny tiny town and look what happens.

One good thing to happen is I'm changing my shift that I work. I'll have no contact with him what so ever now. And the only contact I'll have with her is the phone or IM/e-mail.

I know when I give her that letter she'll not understand why I'm doing it. She believes that he'd never try to do anything to me and I just don't believe that. This will put distance in our friendship for a while and I'm thinking that maybe that isn't a bad thing.

Thank You Merelan and Cymbidia for your advice and concern. This has been going on for months and I had no clue what to do about it. ~Ally
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2001, 06:51 PM   #54
SteamyChik
Really Really Experienced
 
SteamyChik's Avatar
 
SteamyChik is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Best State in the Union
Posts: 361
lilfrk

I have been following your thread and I think you are doing the right thing. The advice offered by Merelan and Cymbidia is very good and I'm glad you are taking it. 20-some years ago I had a friend killed in connection to supposed "BDSM" but of course, there was no connection at all, just the misuse of the lifestyle as a cover for hate and anger.

Please let us all know how it turns out. You might even think of a restraining order at some point if necessary.
__________________
love SteamyChik
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-25-2001, 09:31 AM   #55
Merelan
Lady's Love
 
Merelan's Avatar
 
Merelan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 10,812
Thank you for listening, for talking to your husband, and thanks be to him for listening and not going ballistic, as you know some would.
Sifting shifts is excellent too, good timing.
Please let us know what happens cause if you just disappear on us we will be extremely annoyed and concerned and worried, at least I will be.

In time she will, hopefully, see you are doing the only thing you can do. Now it is up to her.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-25-2001, 02:40 PM   #56
lilfrk
Suzy Suck Slut
 
lilfrk's Avatar
 
lilfrk is offline
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 7,477
I promise I'm not going anywhere and if I did I'd tell someone first. Not that most people here would know who I am anyway, I tend to lurk more than anything. So no need to fret.

My husband is a great guy you'll never hear me say any different most of the time. He listens to me and tries to help me when I get myself in messes like this. It's usually a result of me trying to be a good friend to someone.

The shift change is what I needed. I needed to get away from both of them and a couple of other people. So it's all good.

I got an e-mail from my friend telling me not to worry about her, she and her husband are going away to Old Forge for a week to be alone with each other. So maybe if I'm really lucky(which I'm not) the two of them will get happy and she'll ditch the other guy. I'm not holding my breath for that to happen. But at least I know she is safe for a week or so.

Anyway this post has gone on long enough. Thank You all for listening to me spill my guts, I was at a loss. ~Ally
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-25-2001, 05:40 PM   #57
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
 
WriterDom's Avatar
 
WriterDom is offline
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Between Magnolia and Spanish Moss
Posts: 20,061
Electrical play, electro-torture

TENS units -Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit

and violet wands....

I know violet wands are relatively safe but expensive.

I never had exposure to electrical play so I can't speak to the appeal from either the giving or receiving side. But it seems like an interesting subject if anyone can shed some lightning on it.
__________________
http://writerdom.wordpress.com
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-26-2001, 11:21 PM   #58
Blackbich
Registered User
 
Blackbich's Avatar
 
Blackbich is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: In Freakin Tampa, Florida
Posts: 2,571
Quote:
Originally posted by WriterDom
Electrical play, electro-torture

TENS units -Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit

and violet wands....

I know violet wands are relatively safe but expensive.

I never had exposure to electrical play so I can't speak to the appeal from either the giving or receiving side. But it seems like an interesting subject if anyone can shed some lightning on it.
Well, I went to a workshop on this about a month ago. The person giving the workshop is an electrical engineer and she gave safety tips and talked to us about everything from electrical vibrators to tazer units. She even lit a fire on someone's back using a violet wand. It was, was....

Apologies - got carried away with drooling while I was remininscing (sp?) there for a moment. I don't know what you're wanting to know but I'll try to remember as much as I can.

The basic safety issues were NEVER use any electrical device above the neck. Be super careful using them around the chest area due to the heart.

As you mentioned, the items for electric play are VERY expensive. There's a company in town that makes some stuff but they're still costly. Unless you can manage to get your insurance to pay for a TENS unit, anyway.

Quote:
TENS units -Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit
This machine uses a light electrical current, which causes the muscles to contract. The sensation from this machine is not painful, it's just really weird to have your muscles jumping involuntarily. Our instructor used this on her volunteer's clit, who about came off the table from the sensation. She also said the nipples are a good place to use this.


Quote:
I know violet wands are relatively safe but expensive.
This is what really impressed me and had me creaming my panties! Did I just say that out loud? lol. The pain from this machine is equal to what you feel when you shock yourself or someone else walking across the carpet. If you hold it in close proximity to the body it causes a shock. If you lay the wand against the skin, there's a weird vibrating sensation. Now, here's the really cool part. If you buy the handy dandy grounding attachment for this device, you can ground yourself to the wand and shock/vibrate people with...you. If you choose to do this, you have to be very careful with the chain - you can burn someone with it. Also, if you are using a violet wand on a body piercing it is IMPERATIVE that you do it for a short (no more than 2 seconds at the most) period of time otherwise you will wind up cooking that person's pierced body part. It's also not recommended for use on the genital area. What you can use with this device is absolutely up to you. Our instructor used tinsel (yes, the stuff you put on a Christmas Tree), a knife, and some kind of spiky roller thing. And it looks really cool if the room is dark - he, he. Well, you didn't think they called it violet wand for nothin did you?


Quote:
Electrical play, electro-torture
She also has some little device that she had rigged up to a battery which was bare wire, a conductor and a couple of switches which created a weird vibrating sensation. She also had the following: a stun gun which she recommended taking to 1/2 power if you used it on someone; a tazer, not recommended for use at all because there's no way to power them down and you can kill someone with it if you're not careful; a cattle prod - I don't think so. These are items that can be used for 'electro-torture' but she seemed to be more squeamish about these items.
She stated she has used everything except the tazer on clients when she was a professional dom but would use the stun gun only on request. She mainly used it for a fear effect on her clients.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Please ask questions if you have them. It may trigger something in this halfbaked brain of mine!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-26-2001, 11:50 PM   #59
SteamyChik
Really Really Experienced
 
SteamyChik's Avatar
 
SteamyChik is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Best State in the Union
Posts: 361
Personal experience with the violet (violent) wand:

Great fun but we were having so much fun I didn't realize that we was frying my nipples! It was like a bad sunburn. Ow! Made my nips tingle and sensitive for days. Actually, come to think about it, ummmm,
__________________
love SteamyChik
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-27-2001, 10:57 AM   #60
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
 
cymbidia's Avatar
 
cymbidia is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: 97' above sea level, northern California
Posts: 8,796
Creidhne and me - and Lit

I'm posting this to the GB (where i'll bump as necessary to enable the morning, afternoon, evening, and night crowds to see it) and to the BDSM thread on the How To... board.
cym

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was hurt, shocked, a little angry, and a lot saddened yesterday when I was told by a good Lit friend that there were those at Lit who wonder if I’m trustworthy (with, for example, the rt “secrets” I’ve learned about some of you in the course of becoming friends off the Boards) because my Master, Creidhne, has made a (so far very shallow) appearance here.

I was astonished to be told, in the name of friendship (and I thank this Lit friend for his being willing to be open to me about this), that there’s been whispered talk and even PM’s about whether or not I could be trusted to be the same person now, with him here, as I’ve been since I got to this place.

It’s been wondered, for example (as it was told to me), what I would do if my Master, Creidhne, ordered me to tell him all your secrets, all the rt stuff I know about you. What would I do, it has been wondered (apparently) if I was ordered to tell such rt info to your bosses, to interfere with your personal relationships with such rt info.

I hurt, shocked, angry, and sad when i learned that people, even a few people, were wondering such things about me.

I discussed this with Creidhne, of course, last night.
Creidhne feels rightfully baffled, a little angry, and a lot unwilling to be personally open at Lit in the face of such suspicion. We thought it best for me to answer such "questions" as openly as possible, to reassure those who need reassurance, to try to forestall any more concern about this.

This morning there was this in my PM box regarding my admission to a second Lit friend (not the first one who came to me with the "untrustworthy" feelings above) that i was feeling upset about the above:
"For those that listen to your posts you've created a nice question mark in their head and they're waiting for someone to fill it. Lit is a small community and what do small communities do when they hear there's a stranger coming to town?
They gossip.
Good gossip, bad gossip, silly gossip, boring gossip.
They whisper until they meet him.
If they won't have a chance to meet him, they have to whisper without meeting him."

I thank this person for their levelheaded explanation of the issue. This post, then, is my reassurance to you, should you need it.

Creidhne will post when he wishes and on whatever topics he wishes to address. I wouldn't presume to tell him where to post or on what. Nor will i parade him around like a puppet on strings to satisfy the curiosity of any on-lookers. I wouldn't even ask it of him. Even if he would allow such a public show (and how could he now, with this simmering out in the open?), i would be exceedingly uncomfortable participating in such a thing.

That said...
I am who I am.
I am who I am regardless of whether you’re my friend, my writing partner, my sometimes playmate on the BB’s, or someone who really doesn’t like me at all.
I am who I am with my Master, too, and he chose me (as I chose him) partly because I am who I am.
There are actions that fall outside the boundaries of my personal integrity, outside his. You might be surprised at how straitlaced, how moral, how law-abiding and line toeing we both are, really, outside of what we do sexually with each other.

Here and in my everyday life, deliberately causing someone else trouble, pain, or hurt is outside the lines of what I do.
I don’t flame.
I try not to act like an uncaring bitch.
I don’t put other people down, not even to be funny.
I don’t talk trash to/about other people.

Neither does Creidhne. He’s just not that kind of man, that kind of person, that kind of Master. Why you think he would even be interested in the details of your personal life is puzzlement to both of us.

Secondly, I did not stop being a person when I took Creidhne’s collar.
I did not stop being that same person when he removed it and we were apart for some months, the result of a huge misunderstanding that sowed hurt and pain between us. It was during that hard, apart time that I found and slipped into the hallowed halls of the Lit BB’s.
It was during that time away from him, that time when I felt so hollow, so fragile, as if I were only a shell of my real self, that you came to know me, and I did not stop being a person while you were getting to know me.
I did not stop being a person when he returned back into my life, both of realizing what had gone wrong and that we couldn’t be without the other.
I did not stop being myself when he replaced the collar, when i accepted it again.

I’m the same person now that I was through all of that. So is he. So are you.

He values me, just as all Dom/mes values their collared subs because I am who I am. He doesn’t want someone who will turn on her friends, someone who lies down under his feet as he walks across the room, someone who is not me.

A collared bond between Dom/me and sub is a sacred thing. It’s importance and solemnity is much like that contained within a marriage. A collared bond can be stronger than a marriage in some very important ways.

Still, I am who I am.
Do you really think I would have chosen a Master to whom I was expected to give up my mind, my thoughts, and my “self”?
Do you think I am such a weak person that I would hurt my friends in the name of mindless obedience?
I am who I am.

My relationship with him makes me a better person.
He brings out in me aspects of myself that sparkle and glow with life because he values them.
Yes, he is my Master.
Yes, he holds my submission.
Yes, I obey him.

But no, he would not ask me to do a thing that would hurt you.
No, he would not request of me a thing that would violate my morality or my integrity.
No, he does not care about your personal secrets.

I am more verbal than him and I regularly beat him (and everyone in my life) at Scrabble. Does he then beat me for beating him? No. Why not? Cuz I am who I am. I have a big damn vocabulary and I’m not afraid to use it.

He is way more creative than i am and writes songs. He writes the music for all the instruments, the lyrics, and plays the lead guitar in them, too. Do i get put out because he can do something i cannot? No, i don't. He has abilities that i do not.

Together, he and i are better than when we're not together.
I am who i am.
You know something about me.

He is who is he is, too.
A good man.
Honest.
Funny.
Kind.
Good-hearted.
Intelligent.
You might get to know him a little (if he even comes back here; I’m not at all sure he wants to since it’s been made clear to him that some have already decided that he's a suspicious and untrustworthy kind of man ) before you decide that he’ll force your secrets from me and then use them to hurt you.

A good D/s relationship - and mine is that - is relationship before it's D/s. Please remember that.
cym
__________________

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-27-2001, 02:19 PM   #61
SteamyChik
Really Really Experienced
 
SteamyChik's Avatar
 
SteamyChik is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Best State in the Union
Posts: 361
A good D/s relationship - and mine is that - is relationship before it's D/s. Please remember that. cym

Cym, that was beautiful. I'm sorry that there have been concerns over this. Being in a D/s relationship myself, I know of the confusion, suspision and misunderstandings that can happen and get to big to contain.

I sincerely hope that your Master will enjoy the Lit web site and visit the boards on occassion. He sounds like a wonderful Master. After getting to know you from your posts, I can only believe that your Master would be equal or better than you.
__________________
love SteamyChik
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-27-2001, 05:34 PM   #62
Ticklish Girl
Bloody but unbowed
 
Ticklish Girl's Avatar
 
Ticklish Girl is offline
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Somewhere south of heaven
Posts: 1,161
Quote:
I did not stop being a person when I took Creidhne’s collar.
Quote:
A good D/s relationship - and mine is that - is relationship before it's D/s.
These two quotes say it all.
__________________
Romance at short notice was her specialty.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-27-2001, 07:37 PM   #63
BlondGirl
Aim for the Bullseye ; )
 
BlondGirl's Avatar
 
BlondGirl is offline
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: AOL screenname:Coolmanunlimited Password: stephen Please log on and break rules to get this account TOSsed. Thank you.
Posts: 2,094
Cym,

I must admit that this has got to be one of the most bizzarre things i have read--not your response, but what initiated it.

What difference does it make if someone who is a part of your "real"life comes here to LitWorld? What difference does it make to everyone if that person is your spouse, lover, friend, fuck-buddy, dom, sub, or sugar daddy? (Sorry if I left anybody out.)

This is just plain wierd for people to be so insecure that they are worried about something they told you because you have a real life honest to goodness relationship and the person stops in a time or two.

It makes me glad not to be part of the more cliquish group here.....
__________________
.............. BlondGirl who always wears her best jewelry
Please, if you've got a Domplex, don't bother me!
Clickables:
"My Personal Ad" and "See Where I Got My Favorite Lizard"
I dearly love both of my children, the one here hugged tight every day and the one far away who was adopted. Age, developmental maturity, and residence should never be legal reasons to destroy any person. I am a very pro-life voter whose beliefs are much more than talk.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-27-2001, 10:21 PM   #64
Merelan
Lady's Love
 
Merelan's Avatar
 
Merelan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 10,812
Hey wait. We have sugar daddies here? I haven't had one of those in years. If I remember right they tear the hell out of your teeth. Is that suppose to be erotic?
Damn. The things I learn here at lit.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-28-2001, 02:57 AM   #65
Creidhne
Experienced
 
Creidhne is offline
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: LA
Posts: 68
Hello all.
I would like to thank all of those that showed support to cym and Myself during this totally needless flare-up.

cym is the love of my life. She likes all of you and thinks of you as her friends. And, friends of hers are friends of mine.

Lack of information is the leading cause of fear and mistrust. Ask, and we will answer anything we can. Just please don't assume.

BDSM doen't mean monster. Doesn't mean control freak. To cym and I, it simply gives us additional ways to show our love for one another.

MS.
__________________
<BR><CENTER><FONT SIZE="2"><FONT COLOR="#333333"><FONT FACE="Arial"><B> "I pierce, therefore I am." <BR></B></FONT SIZE></FONT></FONT></CENTER>
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-28-2001, 04:54 AM   #66
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
 
Hecate's Avatar
 
Hecate is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,660
Goodness gracious ....

I turn my back to here a few days and return to find .. not sure what it is but sure nothing I can even grasp faintly.

First off: what bloody difference would it make for anyone to be on Lit or not to take "advantage" from the knowledge his/her partner had about any of us?

Second: usually true Dom/mes are just that because they have a high moral standard and a good grip on their integrity - this is why we usually are trusted and respected by our subs and most other freinds.

Uhmmmm - and last but not least ... do any of you think the non-D/s couples meeting on Lit know LESS about us combined? Do you think those aren's gossiping amongst each other about mutual freinds, exchanging detail? There sure is no dominace or pressure necessarry! I would consider THAT a threatening combination if at all ....

Oh well .... now to the real reason for my post *s*

Welcome aboard, Creidhne. Excellent choice of handle if I may say so - and I am sure you will feel most comfortable around here in no time *chuckles* - I guess you had the bad luck to appear right in the (what we call it here in Germany, related to the news) the "Summer Hole", where the need for monsters and other outrageous figments of imagination is highly valued*s*

Hope to see some more of you around,
Hecate
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-29-2001, 07:47 AM   #67
RisiaSkye
Artistic
 
RisiaSkye's Avatar
 
RisiaSkye is offline
Join Date: May 2000
Location: West of Central, Left of Center
Posts: 4,407
Re: Goodness gracious ....

Quote:
Originally posted by Hecate
I turn my back to here a few days and return to find .. not sure what it is but sure nothing I can even grasp faintly.
I'm so with you. Look away for a few minutes, and people get nuts.

Cym, I don't know you well, but I respect your writing and the character you've shown in your posts on these boards. Criedhne, welcome. I'm sorry that you've shown up in the midst of an immaturity and ignorance attack.

The "freak" labelling may be something we chuckle about the ignorance of privately, but it still hurts when people bandy it about like it's justified. Like we're somehow less because of how we express love. Especially when those judgements usually come from people who don't actually know what we do, they just know they don't like or trust it. Because it's weird.

Cym and Criedhne, it'll pass. I know that doesn't ease the hurt surprise of being treated badly, but know that your mutual openness is inspiring, and will hopefully help ease the ignorance that provokes such thoughtless and insensitive gossip.


Quote:
Second: usually true Dom/mes are just that because they have a high moral standard and a good grip on their integrity - this is why we usually are trusted and respected by our subs and most other freinds.
I couldn't have said it any better. Please, people, don't fear. Learn, understand. At the very least, accept without unfair prejudgement. It isn't that much to ask.
__________________
"We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom." -- Stephen Vincent Benet, Litany for Dictatorships, 1935

~~
Don't you wanna read Risia's Stories, Poems, and Essays? Go on; it's good for you.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-29-2001, 10:41 AM   #68
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
 
cymbidia's Avatar
 
cymbidia is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: 97' above sea level, northern California
Posts: 8,796
I sincerely do *not* want to beat a dead horse and so this will be my last post on this subject in this thread. Fear not.

If you will, please go here:
http://www.virtualchocolate.com/retr...fm?id=z8a39122

I would have to look very hard to find a better group of people within which to have fashioned a comfy place to call home. Your insights amaze me and make me think, your kindness astounds me, and your openness and accepting manner humble me. I am glad beyond my ability to express it to be here among you.
cym


One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind. ~Malayan Proverb
__________________

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-29-2001, 03:09 PM   #69
Blackbich
Registered User
 
Blackbich's Avatar
 
Blackbich is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: In Freakin Tampa, Florida
Posts: 2,571
Cym,
I don't know what dorkweed came at you like that. Apparently it is someone who has a major misunderstanding of both the lifestyle and you!

As far as I'm concerned, Criedhne is already one of us. Why? Because I've gotten to know you and you love him. Because you trust him, I wouldn't care if you told him stuff that I've told you because I trust you. If I didn't, I would never have contacted you. You and one other person who never answered are the ONLY ones I posed questions to. I wanted to contact people I felt I could trust.

I don't understand why this person is so concerned with what you might repeat when there are 'vanilla' couples on the board who are major gossip mongers!

I just don't get it.

By the way, I went to my first 'party' last night!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-29-2001, 03:25 PM   #70
BlondGirl
Aim for the Bullseye ; )
 
BlondGirl's Avatar
 
BlondGirl is offline
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: AOL screenname:Coolmanunlimited Password: stephen Please log on and break rules to get this account TOSsed. Thank you.
Posts: 2,094
Quote:
Originally posted by Blackbich

As far as I'm concerned, Criedhne is already one of us. Why?
LOL--I think he is undeniably one of us because he is man enough to actually choose a handle on here and not just troll everyone!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-29-2001, 11:12 PM   #71
PacificBlue
Beautiful
 
PacificBlue's Avatar
 
PacificBlue is offline
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: You tell me first
Posts: 5,739
In your discussions of sex with your children (if you have them) and when the time comes will you explain the BDSM lifestyle and your personal experiences with it to them?
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-30-2001, 11:01 AM   #72
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
 
cymbidia's Avatar
 
cymbidia is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: 97' above sea level, northern California
Posts: 8,796
Quote:
Originally posted by PacificBlue
In your discussions of sex with your children (if you have them) and when the time comes will you explain the BDSM lifestyle and your personal experiences with it to them?
I have an almost 13-year-old girl and an almost 5-year-old boy. I've taught sex ed to middle school kids for years and have no problems discussing things of a sexual nature, at an appropriate level, with anyone.

That said, there is truth in the statement that full disclosure, with regard to human sexuality, is not necessarily a good thing for young teenageers. Beyond asserting my belief that homosexuality is a function of one's genetic makeup and no different than skin color or handedness, i am reluctant to delve any deeper into the specifics of what can be lumped under the "alternate sexuality" umbrella.

When they're still wondering how kissing feels, they don't need to know about whether leather restraints are better than metal ones. When they're still worried about what to do if a boy tries to touch their breasts, they don't need any info about spanking for sexual gratification. Such would be terribly confusing to them, and even, possibly, injurious.

If, later, a kid came to me with questions that seemed to require "BDSM" as an answer, then i'd answer the question to the level they needed, careful - always - to be sure they understood that all human relationships are between *people*, first and always.

Bottom line: I have never and will never - ever - duck a legit question asked to me by a kid (any kid, not just my own) about sexuality. That only adds to the already incredible burden of ignorance under which so many kids labor. Better more, than less, information as long as it's presented in a non-inflammatory and age-appropriate manner.
__________________

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-30-2001, 04:38 PM   #73
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
 
cymbidia's Avatar
 
cymbidia is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: 97' above sea level, northern California
Posts: 8,796
Quote:
Originally posted by Blackbich
By the way, I went to my first 'party' last night!
Spill it, Bb! Tell us all about it.
How did you feel? (Comfy, nervous, at home, thrilled, wildly excited...?)
Did you mostly just hang and watch or did you get involved with anything?
Was it public or private?
Got any clearer insights on what you'll tell those fools who sneer, "You're just repressing your sub side," at you?
Did'ja make use of the electrical play info you learned a week or so ago?

Are you feeling personally powerful with all these new erotic, sensual, personal freedoms bubbling through your body and mind, Bb? Those are some cool feelings, aren't they?
__________________

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-30-2001, 07:15 PM   #74
Wizard
Literotica Guru
 
Wizard's Avatar
 
Wizard is offline
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 12,030
Thumbs up

I'm intrested in hearing myself............................
__________________
Fighting on the Internet is like being in the special Olympics even if you win you're still retarded.....
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-31-2001, 05:47 PM   #75
Wizard
Literotica Guru
 
Wizard's Avatar
 
Wizard is offline
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 12,030
Thumbs up

And waiting................................. Please do tell.....................
__________________
Fighting on the Internet is like being in the special Olympics even if you win you're still retarded.....
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:31 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.