Nervous about the first time

[PlayKitty]

I havent had sex yet and have been putting if off in my relationships. It's mostly a matter of personal choice but I was curious to know. I don't think I want to wait any longer. I've been fondled, petted and such but so far, no guy has penetrated me (in whatsoever way). I don't masturbate and what not. I'm still technically a virgin. I do get strong urges though and I'll just rub myself on the outside.

I want to lose my virginity, not by being finger fucked, if you see what I mean.

I'm pretty tight and I have a problem: I don't relax enough.

The thing is that whenever I'm horny, I automatically tense so much down there, that I believe that if I were to have sex for the first time, the guy might have a helluva problem trying to stick it in.

I was just wondering if anyone of you had some good advice on how to help me relax.

[LadyJeanne]

I'd recommend holding off on the sex until you are able to give yourself orgasms. Masturbate! Fantasize! Learn what kinds of touches and where really turn you on.

Not only will it feel good, but then you'll be able to tell your partner what turns you on.

[human_male]

Doesn't rubbing yourself on the outside constitute masturbation?

Have your had oral with your current bf? If you want to have sex, get him to do lots of oral until you're really relaxed and ready.

[Hisbabydoll26]

Originally Posted by PlayKitty

I havent had sex yet and have been putting if off in my relationships. It's mostly a matter of personal choice but I was curious to know. I don't think I want to wait any longer. I've been fondled, petted and such but so far, no guy has penetrated me (in whatsoever way). I don't masturbate and what not. I'm still technically a virgin. I do get strong urges though and I'll just rub myself on the outside.

I want to lose my virginity, not by being finger fucked, if you see what I mean.

I'm pretty tight and I have a problem: I don't relax enough.

The thing is that whenever I'm horny, I automatically tense so much down there, that I believe that if I were to have sex for the first time, the guy might have a helluva problem trying to stick it in.

I was just wondering if anyone of you had some good advice on how to help me relax.

Short of doing it with someone you love I think it's just something your going ot have to work yourself up to. I think it's very important that you do it for the first time with someone you know cares for you and will take care of you as my first experience was good...but did hurt and cause a small mess. It wasn't gross but I would have felt embarassed I think if I didn't totally love and trust him.

One way to relax is to make sure your very um aroused/excited. We went slow...not sure if that is better or if it's like ripping of a bandaid and you should go fast. Why is it so important for you to do this? Because you think your too old to not have gone all the way? Because of the person your with? Just wondering what your reasoning is. I'm a big advocate of waiting, however I am glad we didn't wait until our wedding night.