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Old 08-01-2013, 09:37 PM   #1
newtocock
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The psychological aspects of being a bottom

Recently exploring my bi side and having a lot of fun with a dildo. I had tried it years ago but didn't like it. Now it gives me explosive orgasms.

It seems being submissive and a bottom go hand in hand. I am definitely not submissive but the idea of a real live cock pumping in and out of me gets me horny as hell.

Any bottoms out there who don't feel they are submissive?
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:45 PM   #2
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I have a lot of interest in being a bottom, but not really into being submissive. I just want to enjoy the feeling a hard cock filling my ass.
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Old 08-01-2013, 11:31 PM   #3
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I didn't realize being on the bottom would make me a submissive.
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Old 08-01-2013, 11:34 PM   #4
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I didn't realize being on the bottom would make me a submissive.
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Old 08-03-2013, 05:35 AM   #5
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Being the bottom does bring with it the tag of being the submissive partner most of the time. But all you bottoms know its a shared experience. Does your bottom know how to clench and release your cock as you slide it into his ass? Squeeze his ass tight as you push into him, and he opens wide and loose as you pull out. Similar if im riding on top of you. Id say im fucking you with my ass! But ill agree that i want you to fuck me as i lay on my back, with my legs spread and open for your cock
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Old 08-03-2013, 06:57 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by nudeguy76 View Post
Being the bottom does bring with it the tag of being the submissive partner most of the time. But all you bottoms know its a shared experience. Does your bottom know how to clench and release your cock as you slide it into his ass? Squeeze his ass tight as you push into him, and he opens wide and loose as you pull out. Similar if im riding on top of you. Id say im fucking you with my ass! But ill agree that i want you to fuck me as i lay on my back, with my legs spread and open for your cock
I have the same thoughts on the subject. Always considered myself a "top" until a man turned me with his finger and now I love being submissive and a bottom at times. Letting a cock have it's way with my ass has been great. All of these years I denied myself this pleasure, to be owned and used for a mans needs.
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Old 08-03-2013, 10:40 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by nudeguy76 View Post
Being the bottom does bring with it the tag of being the submissive partner most of the time. But all you bottoms know its a shared experience. Does your bottom know how to clench and release your cock as you slide it into his ass? Squeeze his ass tight as you push into him, and he opens wide and loose as you pull out. Similar if im riding on top of you. Id say im fucking you with my ass! But ill agree that i want you to fuck me as i lay on my back, with my legs spread and open for your cock
As a exclusively bottom gay man, I have to agree with nudeguys perspective. I enjoy being fucked on my back with my legs and arms wrapped around my partner but I never really dwelt much on the whole dom/sub thing. I think that is more a psychological state of mind more than anything else.
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Old 08-03-2013, 12:01 PM   #8
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As a exclusively bottom gay man, I have to agree with nudeguys perspective. I enjoy being fucked on my back with my legs and arms wrapped around my partner but I never really dwelt much on the whole dom/sub thing. I think that is more a psychological state of mind more than anything else.
What about when you are on top of your partner? Straddling his hips as you ride his cock up and down. I feel that im the one doing the fucking, not the submissive partner being fucked. The reverse role i fedl when im on my back, spreading my legs for my top guy.
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Old 08-03-2013, 01:57 PM   #9
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There's a difference between bottoming and submitting. Sure, they often go together in the most delicious way, but it's perfectly possible to dominate while getting fucked. It takes some mental gymnastics because our society can't conceive of any way to be penetrated that is not weak and girly. But I've seen it-- done it-- been totally dominated while I was servicing someone with my strapon. It's awesome from both sides!
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Old 08-03-2013, 02:00 PM   #10
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I'm a gay guy and nowadays mostly a bottom. For some people being a bottom may involve being more submissive but I from my experience there is little in the way of evidence to support the idea of specific roles. Most men, once they experience getting fucked well (an important distinction) wil want to do it again.
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Old 08-03-2013, 04:41 PM   #11
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I'm a gay guy and nowadays mostly a bottom. For some people being a bottom may involve being more submissive but I from my experience there is little in the way of evidence to support the idea of specific roles. Most men, once they experience getting fucked well (an important distinction) wil want to do it again.
Indeed! :-)
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Old 08-03-2013, 07:06 PM   #12
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I love being topped , and am a little submissive. I adore it and don't care about labels or prejudices . Sometimes I feel I'm quite demanding as a bottom! My honest desire is that my partner is getting lots of pleasure too, if he is then so am I !
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Old 08-04-2013, 12:08 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by nudeguy76 View Post
What about when you are on top of your partner? Straddling his hips as you ride his cock up and down. I feel that im the one doing the fucking, not the submissive partner being fucked. The reverse role i fedl when im on my back, spreading my legs for my top guy.
Goes to show how it's all in the mind - when I've been fucked while being on top, it felt incredibly submissive - I felt like I was acting like fuckdoll with batteries, doing my partner's work for him, so that he didn't even have to go to the trouble of thrusting.
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Old 08-04-2013, 01:51 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by stucknut View Post
I'm a gay guy and nowadays mostly a bottom. For some people being a bottom may involve being more submissive but I from my experience there is little in the way of evidence to support the idea of specific roles. Most men, once they experience getting fucked well (an important distinction) wil want to do it again.
So true! I'm very lucky, my first experience of being topped was , for me really exciting and beautiful . The pleasure I experienced that Tuesday night was a new sexual high for me. So yes, I wanted , and still do, to do it again and again.
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Old 08-04-2013, 02:18 AM   #15
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I think the dynamic of relationships ebb and flow depending on our mood or emotional need of the moment and surely that must have something to do with our childhood? As children we played games to explore our emotional world as much our physical one, so as adults isn't it natural for us to play those roles in the bedroom?

I'd like to think I'm kinda feisty and in my last relationship I was never happier when we laughed and joked if I was on top: the sex felt more fun and light-hearted. But I enjoy being completely submissive when I'm on the bottom: when I put my feet on his shoulders there was no going back. That's about as sub as it gets for me: completely and wonderfully overwhelming. *sigh*
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Old 08-05-2013, 02:24 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by woman_inside View Post
Goes to show how it's all in the mind - when I've been fucked while being on top, it felt incredibly submissive - I felt like I was acting like fuckdoll with batteries, doing my partner's work for him, so that he didn't even have to go to the trouble of thrusting.
You are right! I agree with whatever makes you happy/hard. For me to ride my partners cock, to please him, was more important at the time. To get him to cum hard, instead of waiting around
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Old 08-05-2013, 02:37 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by t1m1d1 View Post
I love being topped , and am a little submissive. I adore it and don't care about labels or prejudices . Sometimes I feel I'm quite demanding as a bottom! My honest desire is that my partner is getting lots of pleasure too, if he is then so am I !
Thats true! I feel more pleasure by pleasing the top inside me. You telling me how much you enjoy fucking me. How great my ass feels, as i clench my hole tight, when you slide your cock deep into me.
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Old 08-05-2013, 02:46 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by stucknut View Post
I'm a gay guy and nowadays mostly a bottom. For some people being a bottom may involve being more submissive but I from my experience there is little in the way of evidence to support the idea of specific roles. Most men, once they experience getting fucked well (an important distinction) wil want to do it again.
Ill agree. Did you read my earlier post? I love to be fucked, but i dont feel im always the submissive bottom
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Old 08-06-2013, 04:54 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
I think the dynamic of relationships ebb and flow depending on our mood or emotional need of the moment and surely that must have something to do with our childhood? As children we played games to explore our emotional world as much our physical one, so as adults isn't it natural for us to play those roles in the bedroom?

I'd like to think I'm kinda feisty and in my last relationship I was never happier when we laughed and joked if I was on top: the sex felt more fun and light-hearted. But I enjoy being completely submissive when I'm on the bottom: when I put my feet on his shoulders there was no going back. That's about as sub as it gets for me: completely and wonderfully overwhelming. *sigh*
So true, and plus it can get stale and boring if we always assume the same role. Keeping it fresh and exciting does wonders for some relationships, and well, if it doesn't, then perhaps your partner(s) is(are) not compatible.

I find myself to be pretty much a bottom, who occasionally tops, but I easily and fluidly range from very submissive to total power bottom. I can be effeminate and dominate or masculine and total subservient. It's sex, it's supposed to be fun (or at least I thought it was!)
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Old 08-07-2013, 09:52 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by newtocock View Post
Recently exploring my bi side and having a lot of fun with a dildo. I had tried it years ago but didn't like it. Now it gives me explosive orgasms.

It seems being submissive and a bottom go hand in hand. I am definitely not submissive but the idea of a real live cock pumping in and out of me gets me horny as hell.

Any bottoms out there who don't feel they are submissive?
Being the dominant married male to a very prudish and submissive wife for years I was a bit taken back the first time I saw a bottom getting fucked on the internet. I did not have the craving or lust to be the top as I considered gay sex. I only wanted to be that guy on the bottom and I wanted to be dominated.
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:02 AM   #21
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What Stella said. I don't know much about the whole D/s thing, but I don't think that being dominant or submissive in that sense has all that much to do with being a top or bottom. There is overlap, but they're not the same. Either partner can call the shots at any given time, or ask for what they want, without necessarily being one or the other.
I generally think of 'top' and 'bottom' just as 'doing' and 'being done to' (or 'energetic' and 'lazy', or 'really horny' and 'not quite so horny' ), which has less of the 'submissive' aspect to it. Our society still has its fucked-up opinions about the manliness (i.e. dominance) of a guy who takes it in the ass, but as a male, being penetrated is for me simply about experiencing pleasure in a different way, and who wouldn't want to do that?
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Old 11-02-2013, 12:59 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by newtocock View Post
Recently exploring my bi side and having a lot of fun with a dildo. I had tried it years ago but didn't like it. Now it gives me explosive orgasms.

It seems being submissive and a bottom go hand in hand. I am definitely not submissive but the idea of a real live cock pumping in and out of me gets me horny as hell.

Any bottoms out there who don't feel they are submissive?
not here , i am a submissive bottom and very happy about it
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:44 PM   #23
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I enjoy being completely submissive when I'm on the bottom: when I put my feet on his shoulders there was no going back. That's about as sub as it gets for me: completely and wonderfully overwhelming.
Beautifully put, as always, sticky !

I enjoy being completely submissive too; the feeling of being connected to another person, and being at once the object of desire as well as fulfillment. Being loved, being wanted, and being taken, that's what gets my juices flowing
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:58 PM   #24
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I also enjoy being slightly submissive, something about being controlled and used is a real turn on.
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Old 11-15-2013, 01:00 AM   #25
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I just love being a submissive bottom getting pumelled,used and abused
By an aggressive top.
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