Light Ice
A Real Bastard
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,397
It's just a job, like any other. A service performed to those who've stuffed the holes in their souls with great wads of stinking green cash, trying to make up for all the insecurities. They always try to push me down, but that's alright. That's alright. I don't need to feel vindicated or justified. I just need to be paid. What is it to me if some pot-bellied pig of a CEO lifts his nose at me. It's a cold cruel world, and we're all just trying to cut out a living for ourselves. Besides, just yesterday he embezzelled close to three million dollars out of the 401k account for the people that worked the gears of his Fortune 100 enterprise. That was a few thousand families destroyed, he was worse a person than I was. And honestly, if I wanted to fence cocks with the man I would have put a bullet in his brain a long time ago.
The briefcase felt like it weighed as much as a dead body in my hand, and I carried it with that solemn, steely look a Casket-Bearer has on his way down the church steps. Half a life now neatly bundled and counted out in stacks of a thousand, welcome to modern America. Hello, Captain Capitalism.
I've really hit rock bottom.
Los Vegas is a perfect place to be if you've hit rock bottom. It's where the demons are. Just about every vice here is celebrated. You can toss back shots of absinthe in the 'Lucky Cowboy' if you know the right people, and then skip across the strip to 'Diamond Dolls' and get your cock sucked by a eighteen year old runaway after she's done on stage.
It's the only city in the world where the darkness doesn't lift in the morning. It hangs across the cityscape until the sun rises, then drops down like a wet blanket, smothering everything in that same old scent.
Money.
The neon is speaking to me in jive, dancing streamers across my eyes as the concrete rolls on beneath my feet. My cigarette clutched so tight, like it is my anchor to the real world. There is laughter and cheering all around, bouncing off me like a tennis ball off Roddick's raquet.
And there she is. Five feet seven inches of beauty, chin lifted high. Ignoring the sheep bahhing at her for an autograph.
I think I loved her.
Maybe I hated her.
But I certainly knew her.
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A week ago...
And this is the first day of sixty that I am paid for. She is not unlike other jobs in the past. The cherry on her lips as she lounges in her hotel room bursting, teeth sinking into it. It looks like blood as it drips onto her chin.
When you are hired on a mark you don't ever leave it. You become it. I was like the dimple on her cheek, with her everywhere. Watching her. Devouring her.
I knew what highschool she went to, and where she had lived and when. I could tell you who she is, who she was, and who she wanted to be.
The files lay strewn across the floor. His empty whiskey glass on the end table.
His body in the bathtub, staring at me. Blood splashed on the tiled floor like fingerpaint.
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The fans scream like she is their savior, and i move quickly. Beneath me the limo's driver seat creaks, cheap leather scented heavily of the half-dozen shitbags who had driven it before.
She never shares a word. And it's better, considering that the man lying bound in gagged in the trunk is still alive.
And on the passenger seat is that briefcase, and I can smell the stench of the money. But everyone has to cut out a living. Even if they have to do so by cutting out the living.
The briefcase felt like it weighed as much as a dead body in my hand, and I carried it with that solemn, steely look a Casket-Bearer has on his way down the church steps. Half a life now neatly bundled and counted out in stacks of a thousand, welcome to modern America. Hello, Captain Capitalism.
I've really hit rock bottom.
Los Vegas is a perfect place to be if you've hit rock bottom. It's where the demons are. Just about every vice here is celebrated. You can toss back shots of absinthe in the 'Lucky Cowboy' if you know the right people, and then skip across the strip to 'Diamond Dolls' and get your cock sucked by a eighteen year old runaway after she's done on stage.
It's the only city in the world where the darkness doesn't lift in the morning. It hangs across the cityscape until the sun rises, then drops down like a wet blanket, smothering everything in that same old scent.
Money.
The neon is speaking to me in jive, dancing streamers across my eyes as the concrete rolls on beneath my feet. My cigarette clutched so tight, like it is my anchor to the real world. There is laughter and cheering all around, bouncing off me like a tennis ball off Roddick's raquet.
And there she is. Five feet seven inches of beauty, chin lifted high. Ignoring the sheep bahhing at her for an autograph.
I think I loved her.
Maybe I hated her.
But I certainly knew her.
------------------------------------
A week ago...
And this is the first day of sixty that I am paid for. She is not unlike other jobs in the past. The cherry on her lips as she lounges in her hotel room bursting, teeth sinking into it. It looks like blood as it drips onto her chin.
When you are hired on a mark you don't ever leave it. You become it. I was like the dimple on her cheek, with her everywhere. Watching her. Devouring her.
I knew what highschool she went to, and where she had lived and when. I could tell you who she is, who she was, and who she wanted to be.
The files lay strewn across the floor. His empty whiskey glass on the end table.
His body in the bathtub, staring at me. Blood splashed on the tiled floor like fingerpaint.
----------------------------
The fans scream like she is their savior, and i move quickly. Beneath me the limo's driver seat creaks, cheap leather scented heavily of the half-dozen shitbags who had driven it before.
She never shares a word. And it's better, considering that the man lying bound in gagged in the trunk is still alive.
And on the passenger seat is that briefcase, and I can smell the stench of the money. But everyone has to cut out a living. Even if they have to do so by cutting out the living.
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