Sexual compatability

sophia jane

Decked Out
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Posts
15,225
Rob's thread made me start thinking about what I look for in a sexual partner because I'm beginning to realize that not everyone I like will please me in bed (and vice versa).

So...what I look for in a sexual partner:
must not be afraid of sex or sex play, but be open minded and see it as fun
must be willing (and able) to have sex on a fairly regular basis
must love oral sex
must be able to listen to the answer if you ask what I want
must not freak out if I have trouble coming
must initiate sex/sex play equally. I hate being the one who gets things started everytime

Bonus points if:
you like to spank
you get turned on by tying me up
toys don't intimidate you
you bite
you pull hair
my nipple clamps don't freak you out


So...what about you?
(I hope I'm not the only one who's so demanding)

edited for Penelope :)
 
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So...what about you guys?
Can I answer even if I'm not a guy? ;)

What I look for in a partner: Integrity, Intelligence, and Compassion. I know that probably sounds corny, but anything else we can work out; including nipple clamps and spankings.
 
Penelope Street said:
Can I answer even if I'm not a guy? ;)

What I look for in a partner: Integrity, Intelligence, and Compassion. I know that probably sounds corny, but anything else we can work out; including nipple clamps and spankings.


In a sense I agree, Those are necessary qualities before I'll even consider getting to the sexual partner stage.
 
They win big with me if they:

(in no particular order)

- start foreplay long before they ever touch me
- touch me everywhere, not just the naughty bits
- do not consider everything as merely foreplay except for penetration - penetration is not the only 'real' sex
- are playful, intense, silly, teasing, tender, and/or animal, depending on the mood
- are not silent - talking, whispering, incoherent mumbling, shouting, groaning, it's all good
- see sex as fun
- think sex is about pleasure, giving and receiving
- enjoy and appreciate a great blow-job instead of making you feel like a whore (demanding and hmm, you must have sucked off a lot of guys...)
- know how to treat a clitoris or are willing to learn how I like mine treated (it's NOT an elevator button, jab, jab, jab)
- do not give me oral with the sole intent of making me come fast or even at all - they want me to enjoy the journey (like taking a road trip where you stop and enjoy the sights along the way rather than here to there as fast as possible, no bathroom breaks)
- ask what I like and tell me what they like
- like to play in the shower
- like to do it with the lights on and eyes open as well as in the dark
- wham, bam is reserved for passionate quickies, and is not the only way they do it
- tell me or show me how turned on they get by turning me on
- nibble my earlobes
 
sophia jane said:
Rob's thread made me start thinking about what I look for in a sexual partner because I'm beginning to realize that not everyone I like will please me in bed (and vice versa).

So...what I look for in a sexual partner:
must not be afraid of sex or sex play, but be open minded and see it as fun
must be willing (and able) to have sex on a fairly regular basis
must love oral sex
must be able to listen to the answer if you ask what I want
must not freak out if I have trouble coming
must initiate sex/sex play equally. I hate being the one who gets things started everytime

Bonus points if:
you like to spank
you get turned on by tying me up
toys don't intimidate you
you bite
you pull hair
my nipple clamps don't freak you out


So...what about you?
(I hope I'm not the only one who's so demanding)

edited for Penelope :)
Can I come over to your house and play??? :devil:
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Can I come over to your house and play??? :devil:


It depends. Do you meet the criteria. ;)

I have just out of the oven chocolate chip cookies. Wanna share?
 
sophia jane said:
It depends. Do you meet the criteria. ;)

I have just out of the oven chocolate chip cookies. Wanna share?
Yes.
and Yes.
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Yes.
and Yes.


I thought you might. :kiss:


I need to add one to my list-
Must not pressure or harass me to do something that I don't want to do. I'm pretty kinky as it is, so if I don't want to do it, that's saying something.
 
  • Must be able to overcome any feeling of obligation to reciprocate every single time I wanna give head. (Sometimes, I'm just in a giving mood.)
  • No flinching when I make a suggestion!
  • I'm with SJ on the toy intimidation thing. Let's PLAY!
  • Must be SECURE enough in own sexuality to not feel threatened if I express (or even act upon) an attraction to someone else.
  • Don't expect monogamy, because I won't promise it. (That doesn't mean I'm always on the prowl. It just means I won't make promises unless I'm absolutely certain I can keep them.)
  • Be open to the possibility of a 3-some ... with either gender
  • Make some noise! We're not fucking in church, for heaven's sake! (If we are, then it's okay to just whisper dirty ... with a shouted "Halleujah!")
  • Keep it FUN and angst-free. I don't want mushy-gushy lovemaking; I want SEX. Save the tenderness for when I'm down or having a bad day.
 
sophia jane said:
I thought you might. :kiss:


I need to add one to my list-
Must not pressure or harass me to do something that I don't want to do. I'm pretty kinky as it is, so if I don't want to do it, that's saying something.
Mmmmm sex and cookies. :nana:
 
impressive said:
  • Must be able to overcome any feeling of obligation to reciprocate every single time I wanna give head. (Sometimes, I'm just in a giving mood.)
  • No flinching when I make a suggestion!
  • I'm with SJ on the toy intimidation thing. Let's PLAY!
  • Must be SECURE enough in own sexuality to not feel threatened if I express (or even act upon) an attraction to someone else.
  • Don't expect monogamy, because I won't promise it. (That doesn't mean I'm always on the prowl. It just means I won't make promises unless I'm absolutely certain I can keep them.)
  • Be open to the possibility of a 3-some ... with either gender
  • Make some noise! We're not fucking in church, for heaven's sake! (If we are, then it's okay to just whisper dirty ... with a shouted "Halleujah!")
  • Keep it FUN and angst-free. I don't want mushy-gushy lovemaking; I want SEX. Save the tenderness for when I'm down or having a bad day.


You're my kind of girl, Imp. I agree with every one of those.
 
  • 1.) I don't cum easily so don't get frustrated.
  • 2.) pay attention to my whole body not just my tits and my cooter.
  • 3.) Let me take my time kissing you and tasting you (its more fun for us both that way)
  • 3.) Sometimes, I want it hard and I want it fast and I want it intense ( slam that baby home!)
  • 4.) If you're going to fuck me, don't be afraid to enjoy it. (I don't care if I am going to cum, just enjoy the moments.
  • 6.) Don't eat me out unless you like it, believe me I can tell.
  • 7.) get involved in your blow job. I want your hands in my hair your hips rocking and I need to hear you liking it.
  • 8.) Feel free to call me names I like it during.
  • 9.) feel free to spank, pull hair and bite ( neck please:D)
  • 10.) Let me watch you pleasure yourself and don't be afraid to watch me do the same.
  • 11.)Don't freak out if I say I want to add toys to the mix and make suggestions or participate in the choosing.
  • 12.) if I wanted to innitiate everything and be in charge all the time I would have bought a real doll.


This list was made with men in mind b/c I haven't had the opportunity to be with a female and don't think I ever will.
 
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sophia jane said:
Rob's thread made me start thinking about what I look for in a sexual partner because I'm beginning to realize that not everyone I like will please me in bed (and vice versa).

So...what I look for in a sexual partner:
must not be afraid of sex or sex play, but be open minded and see it as fun
must be willing (and able) to have sex on a fairly regular basis
must love oral sex
must be able to listen to the answer if you ask what I want
must not freak out if I have trouble coming
must initiate sex/sex play equally. I hate being the one who gets things started everytime

Bonus points if:
you like to spank
you get turned on by tying me up
toys don't intimidate you
you bite
you pull hair
my nipple clamps don't freak you out


So...what about you?
(I hope I'm not the only one who's so demanding)

edited for Penelope :)

In the words of Oliver Wendall Douglas, "Ahh, to be seventy again." :)

SJ : I could have met your criteria once. Now, perhaps for a weekend. But it would be a hell'eva weekend!



Dar~ said:

  • 4.) sometimes, I want it hard and I want it fast and I want it intense ( slam that baby home!)

    7.) get involved in your blow job. I want your hands in my hair your hips rocking and I need to hear you liking it.
Okay, those two will be resounding in my head for a while. Thank you.
 
Ted-E-Bare said:
In the words of Oliver Wendall Douglas, "Ahh, to be seventy again." :)

SJ : I could have met your criteria once. Now, perhaps for a weekend. But it would be a hell'eva weekend!

Nothing wrong with a weekend. :p

edited to ask- Where's your list, Ted?
 
sophia jane said:
Where's your list, Ted?
I'm a guy, it is real easy,

  1. Entice me with sexy clothing, smoldering looks, and fiery inneundo
  2. Surprise me our first time, by wanting it before I might hope
  3. Give head enthusiastically (enthusiasm assures skill)
  4. Swallow
  5. Makes lots of noise if I'm reaching you (I want the neighbor girl to know I'm good)
  6. Tell me how to reach you if I'm not.
  7. Tell me how you want it
  8. Bring female friends
  9. Sex isn't just for the bedroom anymore
  10. Talk dirty
  11. A blowjob is the new goodnight kiss. :D

Bonus points if you bring beer. And did I mention swallowing?
 
As a guy, all I can ask is ... Where do I fill out the applications ???
All of your requests sound pretty basic to me. I've always been of the mind that of you're having fun, then I'LL be having fun !
 
Another guy's list.

-- It should be fun, whether soft and tender or wild freaky hanging from the ceiling. Do it because you want to have fun with me not because you feel obligated.

-- Creativity is sexy. Surprise me, catch me off guard, and if you make me blush you've done something amazing.

-- Toys are wonderful and expect a new one monthly at least.

-- Trust me, and if I'm wrong let me know, but don't spare my feelings to guard my ego. I'm a big boy I'd rather leave you breathless than bore you, even if I have to keep trying over and over and over to get it right.

-- Engage my brain and my body will follow. Guaranteed.

-- Tell me what kind of porn you like. Sit on my lap and watch with me and tell me what turns you on but if you mention it, expect me to try it on you at some point as well.

-- Be ready for anything. And let me know your limits early on so that I can respect them. But within those boundaries, the sky is the limit.

-- Dance. I love the way your body moves to the music. Even if you aren't great, I deeply appreciate the effort.

-- If I did something right, tell me plainly and clearly and you can expect more of it.
 
rhinoguy said:
sigh.

it woulda been so much easier if I had seen these lists years ago.

('course you were all kids then).

My list is pointless.
My feelings exactly.

Women should have always have come with instructions. Maybe as a label in their panties?
 
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