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Your favorite character descriptions?

Stella_Omega

Stella_Omega

No Gentleman
Joined
Jul 14, 2005
Posts
39,700
I have one story that is in first person. The character is tall, butch, and a knockout, and is too experienced to make a lot of it. In fact, she doesn't talk much about what she looks like... Mostly she mentions how other women are "petit" against her, and at one point her new lover tells her what she likes about the character's body, while she blushes, hems, and haws. I sort of used John Wayne's personality as a model...
It's fun to screw with your characters, isn't it?
but, really, I was wondering- how do you describe your characters? I wanted to simply post an excerpt- but I find I add tidbits all through a story, and can't really give a characterisation in a single paragraph. But here's a pair of main characters meeting at a busy table in a restaurant
...But now, Tracy wasn’t so sure. Fearsome maybe was the right word for this girl. She was turning his bowels pleasurably to water. Her stockings glimmered so pale they were nearly white, and her legs reeked of promises. She walked with a heavy barefoot stride, even in high pumps. Women ain’t supposed to walk like that, these days. He watched her as she came near, the dark eyes in an alabaster face. Her full mouth painted the devil’s own red, the same color as the shoes, and the silk scarf that hooded her hair. Her dress was rich black velvet, no style he had ever seen before. Loose over her belly and extraordinarily tight over her hips. One strap had fallen down her shoulder... Toffer was laughing gleefully, while beside him, Tony crooned;
“Ooh-whee, baby, I got something for you, yes. Come an’ meet your maker, come on an’ get it, sweet thang... Yeah, you want what I got, you want it so bad...”
–Oh lord– Tracy thought. –If I don’t get her I’m gonna die, Tony’s gonna kill me– Abruptly he changed his seat, closing the gap between him and Tony. And winced as a boot came down hard on his instep. But it was too late to move back now, the girl and her escort were on top of them and she was settling herself next to him.
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Hmm.
What's your favorite descriptive passage that you've written. or does description matter to you beyond bra size? :D
 
Last edited:
Not Quite Strangers Ch. 02 said:
She was the very essence of the word cheap. Her frizzy blonde hair stood on end caked with hairspray, and looked as if it was one dye job away from falling out. She stood about 5'3" and very thin. She stood there chewing subconsciously on the nail of her first finger; it was an inch long and done in a "French" manicure. Her outfit looked like something that might have been left behind by one of the hourly tenants. White, strappy, wedge heels graced small feet with chipped red nail polish on the toes. She stood there looking around the room, while pulling down her denim-colored spandex skirt. Her shirt, if it could be called that, was a red, gingham and denim halter-top tied just above her navel. The skirt was so tight she looked as if she might topple over at any second. She was every man's dream of slumming it.
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My fave so far.
 
She was pretty in the cookie-cutter way women my age can be; young, fresh, and still carrying innocence.
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Sincerely,
ElSol
 
Excerpts -

I'm wearing a sassy short skirt that does its best to cover my ample behind. My long legs are tanned, my painted toenails are wiggling in heeled sandals and my top dips low so my tits are prominently displayed.

It's a bit out of character for the usually dignified me, and I smile at my flushed cheeks in the bar mirror reflection.

I turn in my seat, skirt riding high on my bare thighs as I mentally return to our group. There are four such professional ladies present, and we've been here almost 3 hours, giggling our way through five rounds of margaritas. We've flirted shamelessly with the bartender; even apologized for the glass we broke (oops) and rejected every attempt he made to get us into a booth. We nibbled the happy hour munchies, sang loudly with jukebox music from the 1980's, annoyed a couple of extremely grim, overdressed businessmen, and discussed everything from job stresses, Afghanistan worries and of course, sex.
 
I don't even know how Jake could have found anything about me the least bit sexy, my nose was red, my eyes were puffy, I was coughing and sneezing and my boobs were sagging 'cause I was so tired...

...He kept telling me I looked like one of the girls in the movie but I didn't think so 'cause my hair is shorter and my boobs are bigger. Well, they were then. They used to be really big but they hurt my back so I had a doctor make them smaller and now I sleep better too, except when I have a cold. I told Jake he was full of it 'cause that girl wasn't even sniffling, but he didn't listen.
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From Anal Sex is for Buttholes by Debbie aka Rideme Cowgirl aka my alter-ego. Sorry, I just got up and not awake enough to remember her password to log in. ;)
 
I kind of like this:
I stare bewildered at her dazzling frame trying to lure something else to emerge, but all that I can find is her beauty. The delicate curve of her neck, her slender arms gleaming in the sunlight that doesn't reach down to street level, the proud bosom hugged by blue fabric. Dimples, freckles, dyed black hair, painted blue nails.

I stare, that is all I can do, and spread my hands in a non-committing gesture of confusion. Please understand, please guide me, lead me, love me. Again that laugh, and she rolls her eyes to my helpless condition. A thumb and a nod tell me, around the corner, and an amused eyebrow whispers, you clown.
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From "Remedy for a Stumbler".
 
She moved across the crowded bar with a feline fluidity that would have been called graceful or elegant on a pretty woman. With Margo the word most often used to describe her movements was lethal. She was a mountain of a woman; nearly six foot one and she packed nearly two hundred pounds of muscle on that frame. Her legs were long and her hips were slim and boyish with a tiny waist that seemed out of place on her massive frame. Her blonde hair was worn in a severe crew cut and her eyes were an impossible shade of blue. The girls onstage had spent major creds on their massive busts, Margo’s had come naturally and where it was a major selling point for the strippers it had always been a pain in the ass to her.

Margo from The Run

Not neccesarily my favorite, but I think one of the more evocative I have written.
 
I'm with El Sol on the short and sweet:

He was built light, wiry with muscle though his hands touched soft upon me. He carried a pack, and I thought from the first that he went upon some journey, for he took from it food, a blanket, and other such things as are needful to a traveler. His hair was long, brown, and curling, and he had a short, close-cropped beard. He sat down by my head and took an apple from his pack, cut it open with a knife, and offered me the half of it.
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And that's as much as we ever see of Will - on outside. :)

Shanglan
 
BlackShanglan said:
I'm with El Sol on the short and sweet:

Shanglan
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It's not that I particularly LIKE short and sweet... but when I discovered that my GIRLFRIEND replaces my character descriptions with what she WANTS him to look like I gave up.

I try for descriptions that will trigger the person into building THEIR image of a character.

Sincerely,
ElSol
 
I don't generally go in much for physical descriptions. I prefer describing inside rather than out. However, I do like this one:

All About Touch said:
Bobby watched as Rogue turned round, her arse swaying provocatively as she slid her top further up, revealing her bare back to him for the first time. She lifted it over her head, letting Bobby watch her long hair spill from the garment, flowing down her neck like liquid onyx.
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The Earl
 
"It was easy for Andy to recognize his aunt at the airport. Her clothes were a matched monotone of over-pressed blandness. She stood out by being too normal. Her eyes penetrated into the crowd but only saw what they wanted to. She managed to look down upon the world from her relatively short stature. Andy thought she was being insincere even before she said a word."

Wordplay with contradictions.
 
From A Strange Seduction - One that was fun to write...

"Seeing him up close took my breath away. He was dark like a Brando biker with short well cut hair and a craggy face that pushed the word attractive to breaking point. His nose had been broken at least once and reset, but it was far from perfect and his grey eyes were big and inquisitive. They moved fast for their size, like a couple of quick boxers around a small ring. He looked like a tough guy and as if he ought to be dirty but I could see that he was scrupulously clean. Looking at a man's hands was something I always did, and his fingers and nails were immaculate."
 
describe a face challenge:
The profile of his face was like those statues on Easter Island; craggy wrinkles furrowed his brow and lent him the air of mystery. I had known him all my life and I could see him in my mind's eye as clearly as if he were really standing there.

The last time I remember seeing him, he was looking out at the sea, wearing his Greek fisherman’s hat with its brim pulled back, exposing his bald pate. I always wondered what he was thinking but knew better than to bother him in his contemplation. What remained of his white, wispy hair tousled in the wind and I could see a single tear roll down his heavily tanned face. I longed to cup his leathered cheek and show my compassion but I knew the intrusion would be unwelcome. So, I took a mental photo of this man...my father...and kept it sealed within my memory to share with my children.
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elsol said:
I try for descriptions that will trigger the person into building THEIR image of a character.

Sincerely,
ElSol
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VERY good point!
I do that with places, too, nowadays...
 
I just found a good one- this comes after you've been interior-dialogued by the guy, and this is the first time you see him from another person's point of view. It's an excellent trick for the writer;

Sophie couldn't believe she was feeling this way. Infatuation-at-first-sight was a myth, a story. Or so she'd firmly believed until Ethan had come barreling to her rescue. One look at that face, sad and wry, at that untidy dark hair, and eyes brown as earth, and she'd been pulled right in.
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Thank you, 3113 :kiss:
 
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