Old 08-06-2005, 01:25 AM   #126
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatCarrington
returning her home disheveled


back on her porch unbuttoned,
tresses tangled. bare
of berries.

you saw her ripe this morning,
scarlet and smooth.
now color drained,
stem-stripped.

my lips are red.

she will seem fruit again tomorrow,
rebloomed ruby, sundress hiding
blue hips. lace laundered,
clean of me. perfect

for backyard barbecue,
your hostess serving iced tea,
raspberry sweet
but fire shy,

already on my grill,
charred.

and too think you always write such lengthly pens...
with such attention to details...
you paint this delightful metaphor just perfect..thanks..
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Old 08-06-2005, 01:27 AM   #127
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ugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by CharleyH
I see poems, but no metaphors

Bumpety bump
am doing the best I can...sometimes the muse just likes lemonade...
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Old 08-06-2005, 01:42 AM   #128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluerains
and too think you always write such lengthly pens...
with such attention to details...
you paint this delightful metaphor just perfect..thanks..
thank you.

i have to force them shorter most of the time. i have too much blah blah blah.
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Old 08-06-2005, 01:44 AM   #129
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatCarrington
thank you.

i have to force them shorter most of the time. i have too much blah blah blah.
Why are y'all up so late?
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Old 08-06-2005, 01:47 AM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BooMerengue
Why are y'all up so late?
insomnia.

same as you?

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Old 08-06-2005, 01:51 AM   #131
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatCarrington
insomnia.

same as you?

No. I'm actually a bit sleepy. I'm reworking one of the poems I put here earlier. The incantation one. Care to take a look?
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Old 08-06-2005, 01:58 AM   #132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BooMerengue
No. I'm actually a bit sleepy. I'm reworking one of the poems I put here earlier. The incantation one. Care to take a look?

me too.

sure...i may be too groggy to critique sensibly tonight, though.

but if you put it up, i will tomorrow, or the next time i'm here.

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Old 08-06-2005, 01:59 AM   #133
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insomniacs rule...

[quote=quietpoet]What can we do together? How about great combinations of haiku! Here is another one...

petals unfolding
hummingbird sips his nectar
fulfills one desire

pretty pink orchid ‘s
succulant honey water
bathes a hummers dream
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Old 08-06-2005, 02:06 AM   #134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatCarrington
me too.

sure...i may be too groggy to critique sensibly tonight, though.

but if you put it up, i will tomorrow, or the next time i'm here.


*smacks head... I'm so blonde! It's on the Poetry In Progress thread- back one page about half way down.

Maybe I'm gettin groggy, too. lol
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Old 08-06-2005, 09:46 PM   #135
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hope you don't mind Jp.. I ended your first words

lovegod elixir
poses for eclectic negatives
Consciousness splits

love is venomous
love in flexibility
returning the bite


shadow collapses
maestro plays upon green fields
swallowed by its draft

lost leviathan cruises
across eroded seascape with
elements of blood bled

symmetry disarms dragon myth
as love depicts elements lost by control
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Old 08-06-2005, 10:17 PM   #136
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I forgot all about this little piece I wrote a long time ago. I'm unsure of metaphors- is this one?

Chalice

You say you see a V;
is that for victory?
No, but it might be for villain
or violator.

Instead- see a C
for chalice,
the cup of life
my gift to you,
of life and love
and a future.
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Old 08-06-2005, 10:21 PM   #137
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so softly bo

Quote:
Originally Posted by BooMerengue
I forgot all about this little piece I wrote a long time ago. I'm unsure of metaphors- is this one?

Chalice

You say you see a V;
is that for victory?
No, but it might be for villain
or violator.

Instead- see a C
for chalice,
the cup of life
my gift to you,
of life and love
and a future.
we plant our feet upon this message..and my wet eyes hold U close to my heart and
sing...thanks so much for seeing and knowing... we are a gift....
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Old 08-07-2005, 12:00 AM   #138
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluerains
we plant our feet upon this message..and my wet eyes hold U close to my heart and
sing...thanks so much for seeing and knowing... we are a gift....
I'm glad you like it, Blue. I don't think a lot of people caught what I meant. Maybe...
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Old 08-07-2005, 07:40 AM   #139
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Here I Love You



Here I love you
In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorous on the vagrant waters
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other

The snow unfurls in dancing figures.
A silver gull slips down from the west.
sometimes a sail. High, high stars.

Oh the black cross of a ship.
Alone.
Sometimes I get up early and even my soul is wet.
Far away the sea sounds and resounds.
This is a port.
Here I love you.

Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels
that cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.
The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.
My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.
I love what I do not have. You are so far.
My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.
But night comes and starts to sing to me.
The moon turns its clockwork dream.

The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.
And as I love you, the pines in the wind
want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.

©Pablo Neruda...
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Old 08-07-2005, 12:26 PM   #140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer C
Here I Love You



Here I love you
In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorous on the vagrant waters
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other

The snow unfurls in dancing figures.
A silver gull slips down from the west.
sometimes a sail. High, high stars.

Oh the black cross of a ship.
Alone.
Sometimes I get up early and even my soul is wet.
Far away the sea sounds and resounds.
This is a port.
Here I love you.

Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels
that cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.
The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.
My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.
I love what I do not have. You are so far.
My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.
But night comes and starts to sing to me.
The moon turns its clockwork dream.

The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.
And as I love you, the pines in the wind
want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.

©Pablo Neruda...
now that is sensual
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Old 08-07-2005, 12:29 PM   #141
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Erotic Tale
now that is sensual
Thank you ~ I thought so too...
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Old 08-07-2005, 12:40 PM   #142
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he's been one of my favorites as well...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer C
Thank you ~ I thought so too...
Love Sonnet XI

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.


sorry am late catching up...read all the poems ...threads ...and still behind ..thanks JC..and ET...
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Old 08-07-2005, 12:46 PM   #143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluerains
Love Sonnet XI

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.


sorry am late catching up...read all the poems ...threads ...and still behind ..thanks JC..and ET...

My pleasure blue...


Sonnet XVII



I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.


©Pablo Neruda (Translated by Stephen Mitchell)
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Old 08-08-2005, 09:13 PM   #144
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an old one...

wild orchid

At the fork of the river
he wandered into her
mermaid paradise,
vision of dreams
blushed in bright sun luster,
perched between gray boulders
beside an ancient mahogany,
picking wild white orchids.

Through drizzled aqua mist,
rainbows glistened
in tiny drops of dew,
heightening rhythms of his heart
as he gazed upon her braided locks.

He wanted to cradle her,
that moment forever,
in solitude with wings intact,
filling her world with sounds
of wind chimes,
dusting moist skin with
feathery dove kisses.

So he sculpted her image
deep within his mind
and entwined her heart
in sandy footprints
as they faded with the surf.
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Old 08-08-2005, 09:26 PM   #145
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deep
blue
water
words
felt
like
trickles
of wind
through
my mind
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Old 08-08-2005, 11:15 PM   #146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My Erotic Tale
deep
blue
water
words
felt
like
trickles
of wind
through
my mind
wind
drops blue feathers
beneath your
feet
and
returns
to
the silence
of the
deep....



thanks Art..
I told sand ..I would write a normal poem....
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Old 08-08-2005, 11:19 PM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluerains
wind
drops blue feathers
beneath your
feet
and
returns
to
the silence
of the
deep....



thanks Art..
I told sand ..I would write a normal poem....
deep
in a cloud
floating
condensations
mass
grips
gravity
to pull
me up
to the
blue
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Old 08-08-2005, 11:32 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My Erotic Tale
deep
in a cloud
floating
condensations
mass
grips
gravity
to pull
me up
to the
blue

blue
aquiver,
anticipating
actual alliances.

forging bonds
forget me not
actions
upon
the whistling
wind.

blue
no longer
blue
emerging
violet.

silently
withstanding
duet
these two
blue ... violet
merrily
merged.


( that right? )

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Old 08-09-2005, 05:27 PM   #149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeFairy
blue
aquiver,
anticipating
actual alliances.

forging bonds
forget me not
actions
upon
the whistling
wind.

blue
no longer
blue
emerging
violet.

silently
withstanding
duet
these two
blue ... violet
merrily
merged.


( that right? )


ultra-world of violet tears
release
profile prisms deep
in dreamy euphoric
surrender...
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Old 08-09-2005, 06:21 PM   #150
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touching your darkness
you avert my stare
I unfold obscene
thoughts in your mind
yet, you blink and bind...
you want me to show you
how to break the frame
of your indigo glass
as your clenched body
stumbles in murky gaze

would you be astonished
to feel lanced wounds
of knowing cut flowers never bloom
Do you want me to say I’m
sorry for breaking the
crystal madness
hiding your looking glass tomb
and could we both lament
unsheathing the sword...
draining its ravin
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