Sex...& the Disabled

[Cathleen]

Scribbler-Mike, what a great post you made. I admire the obvious tenderness, committment and love you have for your wife, and she of you.

I've been thinking about Pinnochio's 'challenge' to write a story with a disabled person as lead character. I've started one, it started quickly, without a problem or notion that the disability needed explaination. Talking with a friend who is in a wheelchair she gave me some real issues and questions to consider. (Thank you to that friend).

What my mind did with some of those questions is come up with more, of course! I started thinking about the disabilities we don't see with our eyes. Or the disabilities that might be emotional in nature too.

I guess I've gone a bit outside the scope of Pinnochio's intent for the thread - sex, to consider how we even get to the point of considering having sex with another - whether you're the disabled partner or not. There is so much to contend with for me.

Anyway, Pinnochio I am trying to write a story and while it will take time I think I will learn so much. So, thanks for the challenge.

[Pinnochio]

My best wishes and good luck in your story; and a hug and tickle to you for smiles and giggles.

[Cathleen]

Originally Posted by Pinnochio

My best wishes and good luck in your story; and a hug and tickle to you for smiles and giggles.

Thanks Pinnochio, when it is finished I'll be sure to share it with you. When...

[Gil_T2]

Originally Posted by Cathleen

Scribbler-Mike, what a great post you made. I admire the obvious tenderness, committment and love you have for your wife, and she of you.

I've been thinking about Pinnochio's 'challenge' to write a story with a disabled person as lead character. I've started one, it started quickly, without a problem or notion that the disability needed explaination. Talking with a friend who is in a wheelchair she gave me some real issues and questions to consider. (Thank you to that friend).

What my mind did with some of those questions is come up with more, of course! I started thinking about the disabilities we don't see with our eyes. Or the disabilities that might be emotional in nature too.

I guess I've gone a bit outside the scope of Pinnochio's intent for the thread - sex, to consider how we even get to the point of considering having sex with another - whether you're the disabled partner or not. There is so much to contend with for me.

Anyway, Pinnochio I am trying to write a story and while it will take time I think I will learn so much. So, thanks for the challenge.

I'm one who suffers from the "NOT SEEN" as my problems are internal one as well as a growing number of mental issues I'm having a difficult time coping with because my treatment & meds are adding to the overall health problems, it is a hrad thing to deal with & doubt I could without my loverly BANDIT by my side & in my heart.

[Cathleen]

Originally Posted by Gil_T2

I'm one who suffers from the "NOT SEEN" as my problems are internal one as well as a growing number of mental issues I'm having a difficult time coping with because my treatment & meds are adding to the overall health problems, it is a hrad thing to deal with & doubt I could without my loverly BANDIT by my side & in my heart.

I can relate Gil. Most of mine are unseen too.

I'm so glad you do have Bandit - it helps so much. I agree, she is loverly.

Those 'unseen' one can be so difficult. But the only choice is to push on.

[Pinnochio]

True, when I started this thread I was thinking of the physical part; but I do recognize there are many people who suffer from mental challenges. I just wish everyone has someone to hold to help them go through the bad days. I am sure one day I will find someone to hold.

PS - I'm seeing an occupational therapist for a physical review and I find myself drawn to her, I'm not really sure how to proceed. Also, I met a woman today who shares my fascination with childhood television shows like The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, The Smurfs, The Gummie Bears, and so on.. So, I guess you could say nI'm at a crossroads.

[Cathleen]

Originally Posted by Pinnochio

True, when I started this thread I was thinking of the physical part; but I do recognize there are many people who suffer from mental challenges. I just wish everyone has someone to hold to help them go through the bad days. I am sure one day I will find someone to hold.

PS - I'm seeing an occupational therapist for a physical review and I find myself drawn to her, I'm not really sure how to proceed. Also, I met a woman today who shares my fascination with childhood television shows like The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, The Smurfs, The Gummie Bears, and so on.. So, I guess you could say nI'm at a crossroads.

I hope you find someone too Pinnochio. I'm sure it does help. I think it's nice you have found interest in a few ladies - go for it!

There are times that I feel beaten down by the physical problems, they aren't seen to others for the most part - except when I have trouble walking or such. It can all wear on the spirit.

[Shale]

I just got thru reading all four pages of this thread, and found it surprisingly insightful, without the usual hijackings and smart ass comments. Must have hit a cord with everyone.

I am for the most part physically able - tho a recent broken tibia (leg bone) has me at present in a thigh high cast and on crutches and wheelchair. Hope to see progress in a couple of months, but this is a great learning experience. First time in my life to be laid up like this.

I am in the human care business, whether home health aide or nursing assistant, or just working with developmentally disabled. By the way, developmentally disabled adults are also sexual beings, who often find partners and enjoy sex. As a caregiver we try to teach them safer sex and hope they use it.

I collect sex manuals and have a 1981 book called Sex for the Handicapped Man and it is pretty neat. The illustrations are line drawings and appear by the body shape to be people with CP. It shows how to use pillows to masturbate and positions for hands that don't grasp well.

That was about the same time that people were beginning to acknowledge the sexuality of physically and mentally disabled people.

Again, a great area of sexuality to think about.

[kkoozz]

Originally Posted by Shale

I just got thru reading all four pages of this thread, and found it surprisingly insightful, without the usual hijackings and smart ass comments. Must have hit a cord with everyone.

I am for the most part physically able - tho a recent broken tibia (leg bone) has me at present in a thigh high cast and on crutches and wheelchair. Hope to see progress in a couple of months, but this is a great learning experience. First time in my life to be laid up like this.

I am in the human care business, whether home health aide or nursing assistant, or just working with developmentally disabled. By the way, developmentally disabled adults are also sexual beings, who often find partners and enjoy sex. As a caregiver we try to teach them safer sex and hope they use it.

I collect sex manuals and have a 1981 book called Sex for the Handicapped Man and it is pretty neat. The illustrations are line drawings and appear by the body shape to be people with CP. It shows how to use pillows to masturbate and positions for hands that don't grasp well.

That was about the same time that people were beginning to acknowledge the sexuality of physically and mentally disabled people.

Again, a great area of sexuality to think about.

Any idea if that book can be found in stores? Anyone know of any newer books like that?

[Apollo6470]

I've had a relationship with a paralized woman before, and our sex life was just fine. We got it on every night, sometimes 2-3 times a night.

[Pinnochio]

Bump for everyone

[Pinnochio]

let's keep this thread alive all; here is a pic of me to show the difference between a 'standard' buff man and me.

[kkoozz]

I'm no "Brad Pitt" either.

[watergirl]

Hi, all -

so glad to see such a great thread still going! I'm just a 28 year old chick, and the best movie I've seen in ages & ages is Murderball... It's very open and frank about lots of aspects of the disabled player's lives - how they got where they are, how they & their families have coped, and their sex lives. The best line about that movie was in some review - "I want to buy the world a ticket."

http://www.murderballmovie.com/about.html

I've never been involved with someone with a disability, but I really don't think it would phase me much, if it was someone I clicked with.

Yay guys - good luck & hugs!

[bobsgirl]

Originally Posted by Cathleen

Scribbler-Mike, what a great post you made. I admire the obvious tenderness, committment and love you have for your wife, and she of you.

I've been thinking about Pinnochio's 'challenge' to write a story with a disabled person as lead character. I've started one, it started quickly, without a problem or notion that the disability needed explaination. Talking with a friend who is in a wheelchair she gave me some real issues and questions to consider. (Thank you to that friend).

What my mind did with some of those questions is come up with more, of course! I started thinking about the disabilities we don't see with our eyes. Or the disabilities that might be emotional in nature too.

I guess I've gone a bit outside the scope of Pinnochio's intent for the thread - sex, to consider how we even get to the point of considering having sex with another - whether you're the disabled partner or not. There is so much to contend with for me.

Anyway, Pinnochio I am trying to write a story and while it will take time I think I will learn so much. So, thanks for the challenge.

I know with your deft hand doing the writing, they'll be special, my friend. BTW, you're welcome.

And Scribbler-Mike? you are a gem, and I hope your wife realizes what a special man you are. And I'm sure she is one in a million. Your post made me smile, and I wish you 40 more years of happiness.

Pinocchio, I took a peek at your picture. I think you're very handsome.

[SlickTony]

Just wondered. What about developmental disabilities? Reason I asked, I once wrote a story about someone which implied he had an autism spectrum disorder, and I'm working on another one...

[kkoozz]

Originally Posted by watergirl

Hi, all -

so glad to see such a great thread still going! I'm just a 28 year old chick, and the best movie I've seen in ages & ages is Murderball... It's very open and frank about lots of aspects of the disabled player's lives - how they got where they are, how they & their families have coped, and their sex lives. The best line about that movie was in some review - "I want to buy the world a ticket."

http://www.murderballmovie.com/about.html

I've never been involved with someone with a disability, but I really don't think it would phase me much, if it was someone I clicked with.

Yay guys - good luck & hugs!

Would you know when it will be on DVD?

[watergirl]

Originally Posted by kkoozz

Would you know when it will be on DVD?

Just google it - Murderball. I think I saw that is available on DVD now for sale... probably not at your local blockbuster yet, but check Amazon.

SUCH a good movie.

[dorfer]

Very interesting topic. I have a profound physical disability. Sex and intimacy are very rare. i have found out sex involves the mind as much as the physical. One thing that I do really enjoy is watching a couple or female. I was not into voyeuring/porn before my injury. It's my no strings attached sex now as meeting a 'one nighter' or casual fling is very difficult. I sometimes wonder if this is 'normal' or 'perverted'??
I would love to meet the one but in the meantime this is how I get by.

[Pinnochio]

If you want a great film try 'My Left Foot' and "Rory O'Shea Was Here'


Group hug

[Shale]

Originally Posted by kkoozz

I'm no "Brad Pitt" either.

You mean this Brad Pitt?
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/a...hmentid=547653

[kkoozz]

Originally Posted by Shale

You mean this Brad Pitt?
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/a...hmentid=547653

Nope.

[LAdymorrgian]

I dont know. I am pretty much way of topic here with my comment I think, but I am going to say it anyway.

I agree with a few of the people here (still learing who is who) when they make refrence to how socitey looks at people who are disabled. Now I am not, so I have no first hand knowledge. Only second hand because a few of my closest friends grwing up were disabled. As children we are almost "taught" that peole who are confinded in wheel chairs or missing limbs, ect you get where I am going, are very much diffrent from those of us who have a physically fit body. I have never been able to understand that. When I was a small child I had to move to a diffrent state cause my mother had passed away and my first friends was this girl named GiGi. SHe had to use a walker and had some trouble moveing. I havent seen her since the 6th grade....whice is something like 7 years now. I still remember her and what I remember is how sweet she was to me and how she was one of the most intelligent persons I have ever met. We coldnt play together like other kids, So we read and disscussed books. She helped my broden my mind. We challenged each other to read Homers Odessey when we were in the 4th grade and that was...odd...times...I have no clue where I am going with this by the way. GiGi was one one of my friends who is disabled. I dated, at one point, for lack of a better term a midgit. Befor we started to date he asked me if his hight was a problem....all I could do was look at him and say "whats wrong with it?" and that is what i feel society needs to do. Get into that mindframe of "So what?" just because your body doesnt do wat you tell it to does not make your mind or who you ARE any diffrent. Hell some of the people I have met over the years who are disabled are a hell of alot stronger and healtier emotionally and mentally than I my self am. I respect them and admire them. They have to live and deal with the shit holes of society.

Like I said. Off topic...and sorry for the spelling...

[Saguaro69]

Good morning.

I just discovered this wonderful thread and thank you all for posting.

I work on a Mac, so some punctuation marks do not translate well into PCese. Apostrophes end up looking like 2-3 strange symbols, so please bear (bare?) with me.

At 62, I may be the oldest person on here. I started having rheumatoid arthritis when I was about three, so I have a lot of experience with this stuff. I was frozen in a sitting position by the time I was seven. I lucked out when an orthopedic surgeon asked me if I wanted to walk again. Several surgeries later, I was up if not running. By the time I was in my early thirties, my weight bearing joints started wearing out, so I now have six artificial joints.

In the meantime, I married, fathered a wonderful daughter, got divorced, had several girlfriends, and all the normal stuff.

I have always been surprised that some very pretty, non-disabled women find me attractive, because the guy I see in the mirror is not. But then, what in the hell does he know? He has always been, and continues to be, a sexual creature.

I have dated two disabled women and both have been very sexual, uninhibited, wonderful partners. It seems that many/most normies assume that disabled people, especially those in wheelchairs, have no sexual yearnings. Nothing could be further from the truth. It pays to remember that the biggest sex organ is your brain and that personality counts for a lot.

I am looking forward to knowing you all better.

[Pinnochio]

Thanks so much for yourstory; I understand how 'normal' people don't see a dissabled man as a sexual being.