bondage / suggestions?

Hello everyone. Maybe this should go into the "how to" forum but i figured this was as good of a place if any.

Recently ive been seeing this girl who confided into me that she is really into bondage, but has never had a guy willing to explore her fetish with her. So the first thing i did was go to the blank manual, look up some bondage sites and go buy some rope. Now next time we meet up im going to surprise her and have alot of fun.

But before i do, i wanted to check with the collective wisdom of lit. Who has any tips or pointers, what has worked for you? and what should i start her out with? what should i eventually work her to?

It would be easier with her input but she doesnt know yet, and she is submissive and wants me to do all deciding, and im new to all of this

So any tips? pointers? suggestions?

duct taped to a chair...legs spread, hands behind chair, blindfolded?

Kajira Callista said:

duct taped to a chair...legs spread, hands behind chair, blindfolded?

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I like the way you think

I always love being tied spread eagle to the bed blind folded! It's a very submissive possition because you have no control over what happens to your body and you can't see what's going to happen. Start slowly and work her up, I've always found slow torture to be much better than a quick rough orgasm. It's also fun to bring her to the edge of orgasm and then back off and work her back up again. Doing this several times in a row always makes me orgasm so hard when I'm finally allowed to do so! Have fun and be safe, those are the most important things to remember!

luv ya,
flowerchild

four said:

Hello everyone. Maybe this should go into the "how to" forum but i figured this was as good of a place if any.

Recently ive been seeing this girl who confided into me that she is really into bondage, but has never had a guy willing to explore her fetish with her. So the first thing i did was go to the blank manual, look up some bondage sites and go buy some rope. Now next time we meet up im going to surprise her and have alot of fun.

But before i do, i wanted to check with the collective wisdom of lit. Who has any tips or pointers, what has worked for you? and what should i start her out with? what should i eventually work her to?

It would be easier with her input but she doesnt know yet, and she is submissive and wants me to do all deciding, and im new to all of this

So any tips? pointers? suggestions?

Click to expand...

I think you might want to put the rope aside at first. Rope is good but less forgiving than say duct tape great suggestion that! Rope can tighten unexpectely, be hard to undo when you need to and it's so easy to leave marks even when you choose the right sort.

I like these long webbing belts that are easy to find and cheap. They have clasps that close at any point with pressure on the cloth and they are wide enough not to dig in. They come off quite fast. They come in many colors.

Straps and padded cuffs are expensive but can't be beat. Steel quick release clips look fine and - well - release quick and that's very important with a pair of beginners. Try bedsheets - anything that spreads out the pressure is good for learning and will let the subby struggle and squirm without danger of something tightening and cutting off circulations - something I'm sure you're read you should check for often - really often.

Don't leave your partner alone for a second. Not to scare you but even people into bondage maybe especially people into bondage can have panic attack and only if you're there to confort and/or release them can you avoid that being a big negative.

Blindfolds are great for beginners. Gags less so. Let the subby get really comfortable before you start restricting thier movment. Get them to wriggle around as you bind them. Mix it up with some tenderness and some other play such as nipple tugging or teasing and diddle her a little now and then and I'm sure you'll both have a really good time.

It's a great topic and I know lots of others will have points to add. It's a great way to play and the most vanilla of partners can usually find it sexy if it's done well. Taken further there is nothing more expressive of power exchange. A woman who was / is very frightened by the idea admitted after trying a bit that she was sold on it. She said it took away her need to decide and she was finally free to focus on the feelings - not to think at all.

Have fun!

kerker_miester said:

I like the way you think

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was going to add more, but didnt wanna scare four

Good point, to check on her tied parts really often.
If I understood you right, this is going to be a sort of surprise for her? Then, YOU need to decide on a safe-word and tell her in the beginning, make her repeat it, everything to make sure she feels safe.
You will have to start very carefully, since you don't seem to know her and her body's reactions very well. So I would say the best you can do is tie her to the bed (she can lie comfortable there), blindfold her, and then tease her silly. Go over her body with a feather, a silk cloth, your breath, fingertips..., sparing her sensitive spots, do it again touching her breasts ever so lightly, then her pussy, tell her how hot she looks while doing so... Take her close to orgasm and back of again. Start from the beginning... Listen to her, pay attention to her body's responses, enjoy.
CONSTANTLY check on her!
Good luck to you!

Wow, so many replies in such a short period of time. Thanks everyone for your input.

Ive already tried some belts on her, and she loved the marks they made. So i dont think she would be too adverse to ropes. And i plan to use a blindfold now too (thanks guys). I had an old watercolor brush thats as soft as any feather, so ive decided to tease her wiith it. Also i have already teased her to the brink of orgasm and backed off atleast four or five times. Last time i did that, well... lets just say we both loved it.

The suggestion of a safe word is something i hadnt thought about, but is a fantastic idea! im going to think of one right now and be sure to use it.

Im planning on having her over and surprising her with the new rope i got, and binding her into a karada, i found an excellent website showing how to do it. Ive already practiced all the knots needed to do something like that, the french bowline, square knot and several others. So im sure it will be an learning experiance for both of us. After that i havent decided if i should tie her to the bed or to a chair. But after were done i plan on her keeping the Karada on under her cloths as i treat her to a nice dinner. I can only imagine how hot she will get. Oooo i cant wait!!!

four said:

Wow, so many replies in such a short period of time. Thanks everyone for your input.

Ive already tried some belts on her, and she loved the marks they made. So i dont think she would be too adverse to ropes. And i plan to use a blindfold now too (thanks guys). I had an old watercolor brush thats as soft as any feather, so ive decided to tease her wiith it. Also i have already teased her to the brink of orgasm and backed off atleast four or five times. Last time i did that, well... lets just say we both loved it.

The suggestion of a safe word is something i hadnt thought about, but is a fantastic idea! im going to think of one right now and be sure to use it.

Im planning on having her over and surprising her with the new rope i got, and binding her into a karada, i found an excellent website showing how to do it. Ive already practiced all the knots needed to do something like that, the french bowline, square knot and several others. So im sure it will be an learning experiance for both of us. After that i havent decided if i should tie her to the bed or to a chair. But after were done i plan on her keeping the Karada on under her cloths as i treat her to a nice dinner. I can only imagine how hot she will get. Oooo i cant wait!!!

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Sounds like a fun time and I hope you enjoy it. It is a good idea to explore and push limits but the safeword is not something to forget. The first thing I think about is the safety of the situation not positions or what I may or may not be doing(although that's fun too). The beginning part of this is fun.

My bf when we tried something used simple knots that would not slip and hog tied me so he could undo my legs and bend me over the edge of the bed. It was horrible not being able to move against his finger. Now I am ranting... there is good advice on these boards and sometimes I think to much.

Again have fun and be safe, I'm sure you'll find more ways to tease her. I personally would want a vibrator during dinner...that could be fun anyways.

cherry

four said:

...Karada...

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Still new to certain things and mostly on the other side: What is a Karada???

Its something ive seen before but never knew what to call it. The site i found that gave a detailed step by step process of it is down actually, but some examples can be found here. http://www.nawashi.com/newbies/kdpt1.html

There is also Kikkou (tortoise shell) which also looks delicious. there is a tutorial here http://www.japanrope.com/tutorial7/tutorial7-t.html

enjoy

I love rope bondage and Japanese rope bondage. However, when I am doing some plain ol quick and dirty tie and fuck foolin around, I reach for the ...


3m vetwrap.

This is the best. It's cheap enough to throw out when you are done, it sticks to itself, not your victim and it comes in fun colors. I love the stuff.

four said:

Its something ive seen before but never knew what to call it. The site i found that gave a detailed step by step process of it is down actually, but some examples can be found here. http://www.nawashi.com/newbies/kdpt1.html

There is also Kikkou (tortoise shell) which also looks delicious. there is a tutorial here http://www.japanrope.com/tutorial7/tutorial7-t.html

enjoy

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OOOOOOO, that looks like fun!! I will have to show my Dom that and see if he will tie me up! Thanks for sharing that!!!!!! For you...

four said:

Its something ive seen before but never knew what to call it. The site i found that gave a detailed step by step process of it is down actually, but some examples can be found here. http://www.nawashi.com/newbies/kdpt1.html

There is also Kikkou (tortoise shell) which also looks delicious. there is a tutorial here http://www.japanrope.com/tutorial7/tutorial7-t.html

enjoy

Click to expand...

Wow, looks great! And to be wearing it for dinner... Hmmmmmm

flowerchilde said:

OOOOOOO, that looks like fun!! I will have to show my Dom that and see if he will tie me up! Thanks for sharing that!!!!!! For you...

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Hah, your welcome. the website i first used is down currently but try this link later and it might be up http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/bondage/ It had several good tutorials, and testimonials.

I might be seeing the girl this weekend, so ill be sure to tell you guys how it goes.

*crosses fingers*

Good luck! I hope you both have a lot of fun! I know I would!

My advice is not to throw in too many new things at once. That's where people can run into big problems, as one thing affects another and the overall scene. You need to know how she reacts to each individual stimulus first.

Also....'Just pulling out a couple of things from FI's post here which I think are extremely important:

Farblat_Ieem said:

..................
Don't leave your partner alone for a second. Not to scare you but even people into bondage maybe especially people into bondage can have panic attack and only if you're there to confort and/or release them can you avoid that being a big negative........

Blindfolds are great for beginners. Gags less so. ................

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Even if you go to the bathroom for a minute, or to get a glass of water, either unbind her completely, or unbind her enough so that she can get free if she needs to. You never know what will happen when you're not in the room and cannot monitor her. It could be a muscle cramp/spasm, loss of circulation, panic attack, or pain that sets in from clamps/clips while you're gone. This can happen even with a partner you know very well. It should be the number one bondage rule.

Agree about the gags...You need to reeeeally be able to read your submissive well if you're going to gag her.

Couple of people have mentioned blindfolds and gags.

Make sure your gf does not have an aversion to either of those things before you start.

Bondage/blindfolds/gags:

Liking one of the three does not mean you like all three.

Have fun and hope you both enjoy yourselves

shy slave said:

Couple of people have mentioned blindfolds and gags.

Make sure your gf does not have an aversion to either of those things before you start.

Bondage/blindfolds/gags:

Liking one of the three does not mean you like all three.

Have fun and hope you both enjoy yourselves

Click to expand...

I agree, I like bondage and blindfolds, but I can't stand having a gag in my mouth. The idea totally turns me off. I sometimes have problems breathing through my nose and a gag makes it hard to breath through my mouth and it makes me panic. It's funny that I've never had a panic attack while bound, but the minute you put a gag in my mouth I will panic so bad.

There is no way i would ever gag her. I enjoy her moans and wimpers too much. Why would you want to get rid of those? Our dom / sub relationship isnt to the point where i would even feel comfortable using a gag anyway.

But ill make a note not even to leave her for a moment. i can understand how that could cause panic and anxiety. I mean their putting their trust into you, you gotta be there the whole time right?

four said:

There is no way i would ever gag her. I enjoy her moans and wimpers too much. Why would you want to get rid of those? Our dom / sub relationship isnt to the point where i would even feel comfortable using a gag anyway.

But ill make a note not even to leave her for a moment. i can understand how that could cause panic and anxiety. I mean their putting their trust into you, you gotta be there the whole time right?

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Good safety protocol, never to leave that person for a second, too.

Also, have EMT shears or a hook knife, something that will cut your rope or tape without cutting your sub...ALWAYS nearby, even on the simplest of bondage.

Netzach said:

Good safety protocol, never to leave that person for a second, too.

Also, have EMT shears or a hook knife, something that will cut your rope or tape without cutting your sub...ALWAYS nearby, even on the simplest of bondage.

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*sigh* i wanna get tied by Netzach

It was just a suggestion didnt mean to kill the thread ya know.

best piece of advice I can give that I don't think has been covered yet, tie the hands LAST.

They loose circulation and get cold the fastest.

If binding the wrists together, do so with a large gap between them, then use the excess rope to wind around the rope in the middle. This will let you controll how tight the wrist restraint is, and it'll help keep you from creating pressure points.

Another word of precaution:

Duct tape can be very painful to remove, and can cause unintentional damage to the skin.

It's also real bitch to get all of the sticky residue off of the skin afterwards (babyoil, or vaseline works best in that case .. alcohol can be somewhat effective in removing the adhesive, but you'll need to rub it kind of hard .. which may result in additional irritation to the skin)!

Unless you actually WISH to rip skin of while removing it (as well as alot of hair depending on where it is placed), use something else (silk scarves, soft ropes, strips of extra long/extra wide velcro).

OR, avoid the problem all together .... use the duct tape BUT place plastic food wrap over the skin prior to applying it .. to make it easier, less painful, and less damaging when it's time to remove the duct tape.

And i agree with what others have said here regarding how wonderful it can feel to be so open and vulnerable while spread eagle, or otherwise placed in bondage in a way that is unescapable by being in bondage while teased with the avoidance those 'special spots' ... & tormented in general.

Congrats on discovering these many blissfilled joys .... Have fun, and be safe.