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Housework and submission.

curiousjen

curiousjen

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Jul 28, 2004
Posts
410
OK, I'll level with you. I'm not a fan of housework. The dishes, laundry, dusting, cooking and all the millions of other jobs to do around the home just bore me to tears. Although I'll admit to occasionally indulging in a little 1950s style housewife fantasy, mostly Owen and me (when we're both working in full time employment) split the housework 50/50. He cooks and cleans and scrubs floors and washes windows with the best of them, and even complains that I'm not up to his high "standards!!!"

I was thinking about this today, and was thinking how on this board I had heard a lot of passing comments from the subs (particularly fem subs) on the matter of housework, and very little from the Doms.

So I guess I was wondering a few things?

Are me and Owen unusual?

Do most pyls tend to the domestic side of things, even if they have a full time job or kids to look after?

Is it, in these households considered by the pyl and/or PYL to be unPYLish to be found doing the ironing etc?

If the above answer is yes, would that still be the case if the PYL was unemployed?

I'd be really interested to hear your answers :)
 
K helps me with my house work. Partly cause their's some things that I just can't do anymore. But he does the vacuuming (cause the vacuum cleaners too heavy), he mops, he does the laundry -although I fold it. When I'm not tired I try to take care of everything else, but it doesn't always work out that way. On the days that I'm not doing so good he does about half of everything. If I was working it wouldn't bother me, but I'm a stay at home mom, I'm supposed to take care of the housework. :mad:
 
graceanne said:
K helps me with my house work. Partly cause their's some things that I just can't do anymore. But he does the vacuuming (cause the vacuum cleaners too heavy), he mops, he does the laundry -although I fold it. When I'm not tired I try to take care of everything else, but it doesn't always work out that way. On the days that I'm not doing so good he does about half of everything. If I was working it wouldn't bother me, but I'm a stay at home mom, I'm supposed to take care of the housework. :mad:
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Don't get mad and guilty Graceanne :) *hugs* From what i gather your health problems are very serious, and I'm sure you're doing everything in your power to help around the house and a fantastic job with the kids as well :) Illness is a bitch, though, I can understand why you are mad. I was so ill a couple of years ago i din't get out of bed for a few weeks except to go to the toilet and owen had to do everything! man was i guilty about that.

I hope things get better for you :)
 
your not unusual

with me it is a matter of whats fare. If I am expected to work and provide all the money that the household needs then I would expect the s/o to do the majority of the household chores, but I would always do the things she could not do. If we both are working and earning the household's income needs then I would help with the care of the house as well, I am a very good cook and I like shopping for groceries. I also can sew, clean house, Iron clothes, do dishes ect. I can even do laundry though it is my least favorite chore.;) My favorite chore is seeing to the needs of my sub('s) :rose: :devil:
 
I do all my own housework, but if I had someone living with me, twould be a different story, oh yes it would.
 
She generally does most of the housework, since I'm at work most of the day. Although I do assist as much as possible once I'm home, especially with the most time consuming and stressful work...our son! :)
 
I am responsible for the housework and most times enjoy it, but due to health issues it often doesn't happen when it should and at those times he steps in and depending on my level of ability either helps out or orders me to sit or lay down while he takes over. I have a tendency to try and disobey those orders, but he enforces them because he sees it as being part of his responsibility as a Dominant to maintain his slave's health, and as a human being it is who he is. We actually enjoy working in the kitchen especially together, so this sometimes happens even if I am not ill. I think for us we have found a real life approach beats a fictional image of how things should be done. It is unfortunate I am often not able to do as much as I would like, but it does not mean I am no longer capable fo being a slave or he a Dominant, just it takes a bit more understanding and patience for both of us.

Catalina :rose:
 
curiousjen said:
... and very little from the Doms.
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  • Laundry-bitch extraordinaire here, and it wouldn't matter if i had someone in the house, or not.
  • i clear the table after meals, and put dishes in the dishwasher simply because i can't stand messy cupboard space, nor sink.
  • i usually do the bathroom ... spotless.
 
i am responsible for most of the housework. Due to serious health issues He is restricted from many activities, including housework. When needed, and whenever possible He helps with the cooking, and caring for the kids.

The house is very well organized, therefore there really isn't a whole lot of time needing to be spent with housework on a daily basis. We have a dish washer and we USE it. Floors, dusting, and scrubbing of both bathrooms are done weekly. Laundry is SENT OUT. We found a great laundry service that offers pickups, wash, dry, fold, & dropoffs all at a very affordable rate. i was told a few months ago that i am from now on restricted from doing all of the laundry myself because i takes at least 3-4 hours of time away each week from my spending time with & serving Him.

Many times i am told to simply relax, rest, sit by the pool, or take a nap ... His way of slowing me down a bit ... and caring for me as He feels it IS His responsability to do so. He is a wise Master at that, there are some days where i get so busy that i never stop to rest unless TOLD to do so. There are also just as many days when i suggest He do the same, as it IS just as much my duty as His submissive to also take care of Him, as well as to gently remind Him at times to take good care of Himself.

One thing He does take care of, and is VERY GOOD at, that i am so greatful for: He manages the budget, the money, planning involved with savings & spending and all of the bills. i am so glad for that, i find those to be the most stressful chores .... besides the fact that i kind of really suck at those things!!
 
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curiousjen said:
Don't get mad and guilty Graceanne :) *hugs* From what i gather your health problems are very serious, and I'm sure you're doing everything in your power to help around the house and a fantastic job with the kids as well :) Illness is a bitch, though, I can understand why you are mad. I was so ill a couple of years ago i din't get out of bed for a few weeks except to go to the toilet and owen had to do everything! man was i guilty about that.

I hope things get better for you :)
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Thanks, me too. And I know in my head that I should expect myself to do so much, but I'm a really independant person. I hate having someone else do my stuff. This wasn't the deal when we got married. The whole things just seriously ticks me off.
 
I'm switch, but am sub to my lover, who I live with. We're in a 24/7 relationship, and so the D/s flows freely through all dynamics.

Now then. I do about 85 % of the housework. There are some things I can't do (like dishes and vaccuuming), because of my bad back, but I do everything else. There are a few reasons for this, however, not just my role.

Firstly, I am a cleaner. I grew up with my mom's perfectionism about a clean home, and while I'm capable of making a horrendous mess in 30 seconds, I can also clean like a demon on speed. I like cleaning. It allows me to put physical form into my frustrations, and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment. This is a new development for me, as for years, I rebelled against the cleaning thing, cus of my mom.

Secondly, I do it to serve Him. I love Him, and He likes a clean home, so I keep it thus.

Thirdly, as of now, I work only part-time. Therefore, I am home far more than He is, and so it only seems fair and right that I keep the house.
 
Ms_Lilith said:
I'm switch, but am sub to my lover, who I live with. We're in a 24/7 relationship, and so the D/s flows freely through all dynamics.

Now then. I do about 85 % of the housework. There are some things I can't do (like dishes and vaccuuming), because of my bad back, but I do everything else. There are a few reasons for this, however, not just my role.

Firstly, I am a cleaner. I grew up with my mom's perfectionism about a clean home, and while I'm capable of making a horrendous mess in 30 seconds, I can also clean like a demon on speed. I like cleaning. It allows me to put physical form into my frustrations, and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment. This is a new development for me, as for years, I rebelled against the cleaning thing, cus of my mom.

Secondly, I do it to serve Him. I love Him, and He likes a clean home, so I keep it thus.

Thirdly, as of now, I work only part-time. Therefore, I am home far more than He is, and so it only seems fair and right that I keep the house.
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I also grew up with a clean freak. It's partly why the house bugs me so bad. lol
 
When I worked (before kids), we shared the housework 50/50. Now that I am a stay at home mom, it is mostly me and the kids doing the chores. (Yes, I am a strong believer in children having chores.) There are times when my husband chips in to help though. He knows that sometimes the week was just a rough one for me...with baby and teaching...housework tend to be put last on the NEED to tend to list, so that weekend we all work together to get this house back in order.
 
I do all the cooking and grocery shopping and oftentimes laundry as well. C keeps my house spotless and I will break up a chore schedule between her and Killi when Killi comes to live with us. A clean and organized home is very important to me, but I tend to only clean when I'm manic, so having women willing to do these things for me is a true blessing.

It's not entirely practical at this point, but in the future I will manage the budget and make all decisions regarding finances.
 
graceanne said:
<SNIP!>This wasn't the deal when we got married.<Snip>
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Umm... do you remember hearing something about "in sickness and in health" at that time? Part of what that means is that if/when one is ill, the other takes on a few other things to do, in love. If you were just slacking off, it would be a different story, but we all know that you aren't - and so does he... and he'd tell you that in a heartbeat, I'm sure. :rose:
 
laurel-marie said:
<Snip>(Yes, I am a strong believer in children having chores.) </snip>
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Oh, the horror! Don't you know the cruelty you're visiting on your children by insisting that they do chores around the house, and contribute to its livability? :rolleyes:
 
AngelicAssassin said:
  • Laundry-bitch extraordinaire here, and it wouldn't matter if i had someone in the house, or not.
  • i clear the table after meals, and put dishes in the dishwasher simply because i can't stand messy cupboard space, nor sink.
  • i usually do the bathroom ... spotless.
Click to expand...
i figured you for the gourmet cook. :)


anyway...in my experience, dominants like their home *just so* and will often pitch in to make it that way and actually not be bothered by it. ya know...its the control thing.
 
I am the cook and would have it no other way.

He does more, generally. He does at least 60% of things under normal circumstances, more like 70-80 since I got sick.

I work out of the house, he works outside the house. My job is not homemaking however, simply because I don't go to an office. If something's not getting done and he asks me if I can do it I usually do.
 
Since I'm home in the summers, I tend to spend my time doing domestic things. During the school year Mr. Lil tends to pick up the slack. We just sort of pick up where the other one leaves off, with two exceptions. I cook and he loads the dishwasher, because apparently I was born without the gene that enables me to load it to it's maximum capacity while still allowing it to get the dishes clean :rolleyes:
 
Kajira Callista said:
i figured you for the gourmet cook. :)
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i can cook, but i prefer eating others' cooking. Emeril drives me nuts, in a good way.
Kajira Callista said:
anyway...in my experience, dominants like their home *just so* and will often pitch in to make it that way and actually not be bothered by it. ya know...its the control thing.
Click to expand...
i don't even need things just so, but put things up when you're done with them. i prefer doing laundry because i don't send foreign objects through the wash and dryer. When i pull slacks out, they hang by the cuffs. Oh yeah, i forgot. After having the ex send nomex through with terry cloth towels and landing in pill hell, i'm not all that fond of watching my clothes come out worse than going into the hamper. The bathroom quirks simply exist. If i'm going in there to get clean, i want to walk out clean.
 
Kajira Callista said:
anyway...in my experience, dominants like their home *just so* and will often pitch in to make it that way and actually not be bothered by it. ya know...its the control thing.
Click to expand...

Yep. This is one PYL that can't trust a pyl to do dilligent and correct cleaning, shopping, cooking, car maintenance, bill paying, investment decisions, laundry, or cleaning of closets ....

Besides she works full-time and I'm self-employed.

When she comes in at night, I don't want her doing that stuff -- I want her to do all those things she does so well that please Me and make My life worth living ... and that ain't washing dishes, Jack.
 
Sir_Winston54 said:
Oh, the horror! Don't you know the cruelty you're visiting on your children by insisting that they do chores around the house, and contribute to its livability? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Well, ya know you gotta give them something to bitch to their shrinks about when they get older. Besides, as I tell my kids, if I wasn't mean to them then I'd get kicked out of the mean mean mommies club.
 
Sir_Winston54 said:
Oh, the horror! Don't you know the cruelty you're visiting on your children by insisting that they do chores around the house, and contribute to its livability? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


LOL
Well if you feel that strongly about it, I am sure the kids wouldn't mind you doing their chores.
 
Like sinnocent's Master, Master Gil has health problems which prevent Him from doing a lot around the house, so I do the cooking, laundry and most of the other chores as well as looking after His medical needs. Once a fortnight we have a friend come over for 3 hours to do the bulk of the cleaning, it is $60 well spent as far as we are concerned :)

Sometimes (ok a lot of the time) He will have bad nights and I will have been kept awake a lot, so it is a little luxury for me to have the break from too much cleaning - that has always been a pet hate of mine and I end to procrastinate about it :rolleyes:
 
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