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Old 07-08-2017, 05:29 AM   #1
AstridAbernathy
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Embrace being a BBW

Aside from the fact that I should lose weight and will get back on the weight-loss wagon soon, in the mean time, I'd like to embrace being a BBW.

I never was a skinny girl. Before having children I was a UK size 16, but now after two children and several years, I've grown to a 22/24. It's been a real libido killer because I'm so self conscious about my weight, no matter how much my husband tells me he loves my hips and ass. I just find it hard to believe :/

I'd just really like to have the confidence to completely let go while having sex but my body issues are always at the back of my mind.
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Old 07-08-2017, 07:04 AM   #2
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If your husband says he loves your hips and ass, he probably does. I have always loved women who have lots of curves. There are more men who adore this than women are lead to believe by the media etc. Experiment a bit with your husband, Try a position where you can shake your tail feathers a little and give him a show, and watch his reaction. My SO does this after she's had an orgasm or two and wants me to come.

Take a look in the Fetish & Sexuality Central forum on this board, and look at the Curvy Appreciation, BBW, Thick Thighs and Chubby Tummy threads - you will see nothing negative at all in thousands of posts. You may also find some supportive women to PM with (as I'm sure you will in this forum too).
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Old 07-08-2017, 09:21 AM   #3
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When I first met my wife, she was a US size 7, fairly skinny, but not anorexic. then after moving to Colorado, she went down to a size 2. Real skinny. I asked her why? She thought she was fat compared to the girl next door. I had to explain to her the girl next door was only 5'5" where she was 5'9".

She had been living on cigarettes and coffee, this was back when everyone smoked. She began eating and went to a size 8. The up to a 9/10. That is when she finally looked healthy to me and the doctors.

She maintained that size/weight - 150 lbs - for most of he life. I really loved her shape. Then as we found out she had Hep-C, from a blood transfusion back in 1971. That was before they even knew what Hep-C was. They put her on anti-virals. They told her she would lose weight.

She gained it. Shot up to a size 20 almost over night. She still looked good, just bigger. The weight she gained was all over, so she didn't have only on spot bigger than the rest.

I still like the way she looked. I thought she was even hotter than when she was skinnier. Since then she has lost most of the weight, but she doesn't think she has lost enough. She it still pleasing to the eye, even at 69 she till gets hit on by young men.

Thick, doesn't mean bad looking.

Hang in there, your husband sounds like he loves you. He likes the way you look, embrace it while you try to lose what you think you should. Sex does burn a lot of calories.
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Old 07-08-2017, 09:30 AM   #4
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I found this very interesting - it's about what porn searches reveal about what people really want:
https://www.vox.com/conversations/20...everybody-lies

"If you define being in the closet as picking partners based on what society wants rather than what you want, many people are in the closet. For example, I am certain a large number of men are more attracted to overweight women than skinny women but try to date skinny women to impress their friends and family members.

"Porn featuring overweight women is surprisingly common among men. But the data from dating sites tells us that just about all men try to date skinny women. Many people donít try to date the people theyíre most attracted to. They try to date the people they think would impress their friends."

"There are a lot of single men and single overweight women who would be sexually compatible. But they donít date, while the man tries and fails to date a skinny woman even though heís less attracted to her. And then there are women who practically starve themselves to remain skinny so their husbands wonít leave, even though their husbands would be more attracted to them if they weighed more. The desire to impress people causes all kinds of inefficiency."
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Old 07-08-2017, 02:01 PM   #5
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To be honest, I'm in the same position. I'm trying to embrace my size after being a bigger woman my whole life but it's hard when you went looked at as sexy until I was about 27. Then I started working on embracing it- finding sexy clothes in my size that flattered me, got into make up and still do it once in a while, figured I needed to feel good for myself or I was just wasting years being unhappy, trying to fit into other people's views of how I should feel. I kinda developed a "fuck it" attitude and it helped. That's not to say that I don't feel self-conscious, it's still hard to accept when guys compliment me or say things when my whole life overweight women were not seen as sexy in the media.

Do things for yourself that make you feel good, like I said above my choice and clothing really helped because I felt sexy wearing it for myself and it just happened that other people enjoyed it too. I really do hope you find your confidence 💖
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Old 07-08-2017, 02:12 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedSilk69 View Post
"The desire to impress people causes all kinds of inefficiency."
Quoted. For. Truth.
And not just in sexuality or weight; that's just a good way to live life in general.

I have no guidance for you except to say everyone so far has given good advice.

All I can do is offer support and let you know that I too am a big girl. A BIG girl. No bones about it, I'm fat and I know it.

But I have a husband who wants to fuck me.
A kiddo who loves me.
I don't let my size keep me from doing things I want to do (I farm, I hike, I swim at the public pool, I fly commercial - economy even).
And I'm happy. I enjoy my life. In spite of and even sometimes because of my size.
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:15 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bottomlover View Post
Take a look in the Fetish & Sexuality Central forum on this board, and look at the Curvy Appreciation, BBW, Thick Thighs and Chubby Tummy threads - you will see nothing negative at all in thousands of posts. You may also find some supportive women to PM with (as I'm sure you will in this forum too).
Absolutely! There's also a "Nerdy BBW's" thread. I think big women are gorgeous and have been attracted to them for a long time. I think you'll find a lot more admirers than you realize.
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Old 07-08-2017, 05:03 PM   #8
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If I may add to my previous post, a woman's confidence and willingness to use her assets is what does it for me. A curvy woman who will not get undressed with the lights on does little for me.

My "body type" is curvy or BBW, but the thing that really grabs me is confidence. Be who you be right now.
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:25 PM   #9
AstridAbernathy
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Thanks for all your advice. Sounds like a shopping trip for clothes and make up is needed. Probably one for slutty lingerie too
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:37 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by KTrout23 View Post
Absolutely! There's also a "Nerdy BBW's" thread. I think big women are gorgeous and have been attracted to them for a long time. I think you'll find a lot more admirers than you realize.
These threads actually encouraged me to post too. There's a lot of support and people who are very encouraging here and it's refreshing
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Old 07-08-2017, 07:50 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AstridAbernathy View Post
Thanks for all your advice. Sounds like a shopping trip for clothes and make up is needed. Probably one for slutty lingerie too
Go for it!

BTW, I love the name Astrid.
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Old 07-15-2017, 02:35 PM   #12
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This sounds strange, but go to a nudist resort....don't go to a nudist beach where people stare. At a resort, you'll meet open-minded people who will accept you for whoever you are. They don't care about your size, race, gender, etc. You'll forget about being naked after about ten minutes but you'll become surprisingly comfortable in your own skin.
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Old 07-15-2017, 02:51 PM   #13
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There is nothing shameful about being a BBW. You should be proud of your assets and a lot of men love a bit more cushion for the pushing
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Old 07-16-2017, 07:29 PM   #14
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In my experiences so far, the men that go after me all have skinny lovers as well. They go after me to see what having sex with a bigger girl is like. To compare me to others or to be able to tell their skinny women that "size doesn't matter to them" because they've fucked a bigger girl before. I haven't had good experiences with this but it sounds like you are very lucky.

You landed a man who loves you regardless of size and wants you. Truly wants you. I know it's hard but you can do it. Just give yourself some time, and perhaps let him show you how much he enjoys you no matter what size you are. Try getting naked or putting on lingerie that makes you feel good and see how he much enjoys it. What have you to lose, really?
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Old 07-16-2017, 09:01 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Msdirtylittlesecret View Post
In my experiences so far, the men that go after me all have skinny lovers as well. They go after me to see what having sex with a bigger girl is like. To compare me to others or to be able to tell their skinny women that "size doesn't matter to them" because they've fucked a bigger girl before. I haven't had good experiences with this but it sounds like you are very lucky.

You landed a man who loves you regardless of size and wants you. Truly wants you. I know it's hard but you can do it. Just give yourself some time, and perhaps let him show you how much he enjoys you no matter what size you are. Try getting naked or putting on lingerie that makes you feel good and see how he much enjoys it. What have you to lose, really?
hon, your experience makes me want to punch this crap out of those guys. I actually get turned off by skinny girls. I prefer extremely curvy and big women. There are guys out that that truly do and you deserve to find one sweetheart.
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Old 07-16-2017, 09:08 PM   #16
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Last edited by spanky5147 : 07-18-2017 at 12:49 PM.
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Old 07-16-2017, 10:12 PM   #17
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hon, your experience makes me want to punch this crap out of those guys. I actually get turned off by skinny girls. I prefer extremely curvy and big women. There are guys out that that truly do and you deserve to find one sweetheart.
I agree. In a group of women I will always be drawn to the larger ones. I find bigger women to be more attractive and will always look past the skinny ones.
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Old 08-12-2017, 09:46 AM   #18
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You can be big and still in shape, maybe start a fitness regime not to slim down to nothing but maybe to wear your weight as attractively as possible. I have a large friend who does swimming and yoga, not because she wants to get skinny but because she wants to be fit and active - no doubt especially in bed with her partner. Learning to dress for your shape is also important and there's a metric fuckton about it online. Moisturise, use sunscreen, put on some make-up in the morning even if it's just base, mascara and lipgloss. Pamper yourself and walk with your head held high. Nothing does more for a woman's attractiveness than confidence, poise and a genuine smile. Be a lady (if that suits your personal identity) and enjoy it.

My fashion sense is very gothic, so to avoid looking like a wannabe vagrant I choose good quality, well cut clothes that just happen to be dark in colour. I accessorise with chunky jewellery and boots or funky sneakers. My make-up is dark but not full on goth/emo, just vampy. It suits my colouring and if true to who \i am. You don't have to do yourself up like a barbie doll, just find what really works for you in the style you love and embrace it.
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Old 08-12-2017, 09:58 AM   #19
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My late husband went a long way to showing me that I could be fat and beautiful. He was a professional photographer and took some amazing photos of me, playing up my best assets. He always encouraged me to dress for myself and to be happy with who I was, because he loved me that way. I've tried dating since I lost him but no success yet. Not sure if it's my size or my off-putting direct personality . . .
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