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Old 10-09-2012, 11:29 AM   #1
sexylulu83
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Fingering

I am hoping all you fellow lit readers can give me some advice...

I enjoy being fingered but my boyfriend will NOT do this. He will play with my clit but has never put his fingers inside of me. I have mentioned in conversation that I do enjoy this thinking he would get the hint but he didnt.

My question is how can I get him to finger me or talk to him about it without making him uncomfortable? He isn't really that reserved sexually so I'm not sure why this is a no no for him!

Do guys not enjoy fingering, could that be the problem?

Thanks in advance for the advice!
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:33 AM   #2
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That is really bizarre. I can't say that I've ever had that problem. Fingering is usually the first thing a guy does when I'm getting intimate.

Hmm.. maybe just try actually grabbing his hand when it's down there and use it to do what you want? lol
But I think the easiest thing is just to come straight out and ask him about it.
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:54 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sexylulu83 View Post
I am hoping all you fellow lit readers can give me some advice...

I enjoy being fingered but my boyfriend will NOT do this. He will play with my clit but has never put his fingers inside of me. I have mentioned in conversation that I do enjoy this thinking he would get the hint but he didnt.

My question is how can I get him to finger me or talk to him about it without making him uncomfortable? He isn't really that reserved sexually so I'm not sure why this is a no no for him!

Do guys not enjoy fingering, could that be the problem?

Thanks in advance for the advice!
Has he explicitly said or otherwise indicated that he doesn't want to .... or has he just never done it, which leads you to assume he doesn't want to?

Don't assume anything ... if he hasn't actually said "no," just ask him to do it ... or tell him ... in the moment. Very little will motivate a guy more than arousal, and if he's massively hard and he's touching your wet little clit and you gasp and gruffly whisper, "Put your fingers in me!" Or ... "Touch me inside!" I bet you a dollar he'd do it. (An old lover said "Touch me inside" with a good deal of urgency during our first encounter and I think I almost fainted, it was so hot.)

If, on the other hand, he has said he doesn't want to, you could ask why ... he may have a thing about your wetness on his fingers or something, which he should just get over. (If you want, you could say, "I know plenty of guys who really like having it all over their hands! One of them is on Lit and his name is MadWriter." hehe)

My lover said something interesting recently that put fingering in a whole new light for me ... I usually thought of it as a precursor, but she made a point about my bare hands ... she loves that I can make her scream and thrash and cum with just my bare hands. No toys, no tongue, no cock even ... just my hands. See whether that persuades him at all.
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:16 PM   #4
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oh my god

I absolutely love to finger my wife. she loves to be fingered. it's amazing, hot, can be sweet, rough, playful.
try what she does sometimes, if i'm down there teasing she'll take her hand wrap it around mine, and start fingering herself. it's fucking awesome!!!
good luck
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:17 PM   #5
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Just TELL HIM TO. In my experience most guys like being told what to do during sex. Maybe wait until he's next going down on you and either tell him to put his fingers in you or ask him to.
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:57 PM   #6
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Tell him what you want him to do. If he won't do it, then DTMFA.

And unless you're 12, stop using the word "fingering." No, I don't have a better word for it, but fingering is what horny high-schoolers do on the back of the band bus.
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:16 PM   #7
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Like those above me, my advice boils down to a simple sentence: communication is key. Since he isn't sexually reserved, or at least that's the way it seems like to you, something as simple as just asking him to finger you might be all that you need.
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:17 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Eilan View Post
Tell him what you want him to do. If he won't do it, then DTMFA.

And unless you're 12, stop using the word "fingering." No, I don't have a better word for it, but fingering is what horny high-schoolers do on the back of the band bus.
If you don't have a better word for it then "fingering" is the word that will be used.
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:35 PM   #9
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Just TELL HIM TO. In my experience most guys like being told what to do during sex. Maybe wait until he's next going down on you and either tell him to put his fingers in you or ask him to.
OH LUCKY YOU! I too wonder why all these married men feel the need to volunteer their services in cyber space to a single woman.
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:46 PM   #10
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This is really odd. I can't understand why a guy wouldn't want to finger you (not you specifically, a general, female you). But Mad Writer was spot on, unless you asked, don't assume he knows. Girls work on the vague hint system. Guys work on a more forward, explicit system. Just say you want to get fingered.

Or, for Eilan, maybe you should call it a finger job. It does sound so high schoolish. That's why I call handjobs handjibbers. Because I am classy.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:01 PM   #11
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This is odd. I don't think I've ever met a guy who doesn't like putting his fingers in.... well, everything
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:08 PM   #12
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This is odd. I don't think I've ever met a guy who doesn't like putting his fingers in.... well, everything
Exactly. Fingers and penises are like electrical cords... They are looking for an outlet.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:34 PM   #13
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Exactly. Fingers and penises are like electrical cords... They are looking for an outlet.
I don't often say it (well never actually) but pmann cracks me up big time!!!
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:45 PM   #14
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I don't often say it (well never actually) but pmann cracks me up big time!!!
Cheers. I'll be here all week.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:54 PM   #15
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Cheers. I'll be here all week.
pmann your's is the only male thread that I subscribe too! lol
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:06 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eilan View Post
And unless you're 12, stop using the word "fingering." No, I don't have a better word for it, but fingering is what horny high-schoolers do on the back of the band bus.
There really isn't another word for it. So let's come up with one! Weeeee

Pointing? "He pointed me right there in public, it was hot."

Poking? "I love to be poked, makes me so wet."
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:12 PM   #17
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"He's a guitar player, he digitized me so hard with his strong hands."
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:25 PM   #18
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Digitizing totally has my vote.
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:40 PM   #19
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May I suggest noodling?
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:42 PM   #20
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May I suggest noodling?
For those unfamiliar with the term, it's how some rednecks catch catfish...

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Old 10-09-2012, 03:56 PM   #21
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For those unfamiliar with the term, it's how some rednecks catch catfish...

I think noodling equates better with fisting than fingering. Diddling is my choice.
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:30 PM   #22
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May I suggest noodling?
Noodling? Nah. Diddling is no good either.

Since phalanx (the plural of phalanges) are what we call the bones of the finger, I vote phalanxing!

This thread has taken a ridiculous turn....to the OPs original question...communicate with the man....they don't take hints well!!
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:01 PM   #23
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Noodling? Nah. Diddling is no good either.

Since phalanx (the plural of phalanges) are what we call the bones of the finger, I vote phalanxing!

This thread has taken a ridiculous turn....to the OPs original question...communicate with the man....they don't take hints well!!
I agree. Most men don't understand hint-speak. Just come right out and ask for it or tell him you want him to do it. You could always say something in regular conversation like, "I read somewhere that using your fingers inside with a come hither motion can make some women come so hard they ejaculate. I'd love to try that with you!"

If he's really turned off by the idea, he could always wear a glove or finger cot. The purple nitrile gloves have a bit of texture to the fingertips so that could offset the lack of sensation that the glove might produce.

Regarding terminology, there's always the ever-popular adult version of the word - finger fuck.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:07 PM   #24
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I happen to think the word fingered is carnal and filthy and when whispered in your ear in just the right way.... I also wouldn't mind being in the back of a bus getting fingered but that's a whole other story.

Leave her alone you big old bullies. She can call it what she wants.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:10 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by MadWriter View Post

My lover said something interesting recently that put fingering in a whole new light for me ... I usually thought of it as a precursor, but she made a point about my bare hands ... she loves that I can make her scream and thrash and cum with just my bare hands. No toys, no tongue, no cock even ... just my hands. See whether that persuades him at all.
I agree with your lover. Being completely at the mercy of skilled hands. Perfect.
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