LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

What is your true opinion of "switches"?

Soulfiregirl

Soulfiregirl

The Bisexual Bandit
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Posts
1,338
I've run into this problem as far as my bisexuality. People in the gay community have told me that there is no such thing. You're either gay and in denial, or straight and just want to experiment. Needless to say, that annoys me to no end but that's another issue for another forum.

I brought it up to relate to the fact that I've seen this same type of "hostility" towards those of us who claim we are "switches" in the BDSM community. I've already had a potential dates tell me that there's no such thing. I'm just "confused" because I haven't figured out whether I'm a dom or a sub yet.

How do you feel about switches? Especially those of you who have been established in one role for long periods of time? Are switches full just "in denial" about their true roles and too afraid to commit to one or the other? Or is it really possible to be a content switch?
 
Soulfiregirl said:
I've run into this problem as far as my bisexuality. People in the gay community have told me that there is no such thing. You're either gay and in denial, or straight and just want to experiment. Needless to say, that annoys me to no end but that's another issue for another forum.

I brought it up to relate to the fact that I've seen this same type of "hostility" towards those of us who claim we are "switches" in the BDSM community. I've already had a potential dates tell me that there's no such thing. I'm just "confused" because I haven't figured out whether I'm a dom or a sub yet.

How do you feel about switches? Especially those of you who have been established in one role for long periods of time? Are switches full just "in denial" about their true roles and too afraid to commit to one or the other? Or is it really possible to be a content switch?
Click to expand...

A content switch, I think so.

But even ambidexterous people use one hand more often.

Probably a little better too.
 
I like them. I'm somewhat jealous of their flexibility, as they have more oppurtunities to enjoy themselves. I have a habit of buttonholing Domly Ones and asking them about life on their end of a flogger. I've found that switches can often make more sense to me. I think their version of PYL energy is different from non-switch PYL's, though. On the whole, they're pretty cool.
 
To say that any orientation be it bisexual or switch is impossible is rather closed minded, I think.

I do agree that then tend to follow one side of the path more then the other, ie sub more often then Dom/me or vice versa but nothing wrong with that. And if you do walk both sides evenly, more power to you.

Heck, long as you're happy forget what the idiots are saying. Its not constructive, just negative.

I keep seeing and reading and hearing that BDSM is a personal thing- its defined by the person doing it, not by everyone else in the world. So if subing on Tuesday and doming on Friday works for you and you're happy with it, go for it.
 
(I just wanted to clarify that I have not encountered any "hostility" towards switches on this board....I've encountered it in other areas...wasn't sure if I specified that...sorry kitties)

I've gotten repsonses to various ads on various alternative sites (including this one) and a lot of "potentials" claim they feel they are switches but then when we start discussing what they really want, their "true colors" come out and they confess they tend to lean more one way then 50/50. For example, I get a lot of responses from men who claim to be switches but eventually they admit they'd like to dominate. Why does this annoy me? lol. I had one guy tell me that he's had a lot of trouble telling potential dates he's a switch because they have a problem with it and want him to "choose sides". So, he tells them he wants to be dominant when he'd rather not be that all the time.

I've told guys I want to be a switch and they seem ok with it at first but eventually they always want me to start leaning towards being submissive. And then I've had a few people just tell me bluntly that there's "no such thing as a switch". *sigh*

Who knew this was going to be so difficult and complicated? Yeesh. Maybe I should just go back to vanilla sex. lol.
 
Soulfiregirl said:
Who knew this was going to be so difficult and complicated? Yeesh. Maybe I should just go back to vanilla sex. lol.
Click to expand...

*shudders*

Some of my favorite people are switches. (Namely dolf :kiss: )
 
My Pearl is switch...And I think I've made my opinion of her pretty damned clear..

:D
Sort of like having a pet tiger...Very beautiful..Somewhat dangerous..
Periodicly you have to throw them a lamb...

Keeps you on your toes...Invigorating..
 
graceanne said:
*shudders*

Some of my favorite people are switches. (Namely dolf :kiss: )
Click to expand...


If only dolf were that easy to figure out.... she is a switch and then some :p
 
snowy ciara said:
I like them. I'm somewhat jealous of their flexibility, as they have more oppurtunities to enjoy themselves. I have a habit of buttonholing Domly Ones and asking them about life on their end of a flogger. I've found that switches can often make more sense to me. I think their version of PYL energy is different from non-switch PYL's, though. On the whole, they're pretty cool.
Click to expand...


Like snowy I am a little jealous of switches.

I friends who are switches, gay and bi-sexual. All of use follow a journey that leads us to accept who we are.

To me, that journey means a great deal of thinking and soul searching, those who accept themselves are more able to explain situations and reasons without asking for approval. Nor do they ask you to understand their reasons, just accept them.

As friends, Luna and Dolf have helped me figure out lots of things I would still be struggling with (ok I admit Dolf has confused the hell out of me as well lol)

Besides it must be great to go to a party and play with anyone in any situation should you wish to ;)
 
shy slave said:
If only dolf were that easy to figure out.... she is a switch and then some :p
Click to expand...
if only! :rolleyes:

i confuse the hell out of me sometimes...
 
I don't like switches. I think dolf should chose between the GB and here.


Seriously though, I have heard switches who felt like they weren't as accepted in RL groups. There is a big enough fight with the vanilla world to have infighting with switches, or the sub/slave elitist thing.
 
WriterDom said:
I don't like switches. I think dolf should chose between the GB and here.
Click to expand...

Maybe she should do one of her polls.....


Where should she be:

GB

BDSM

A Whole New Dolf Place

:p
 
I like switches..sometimes they are able to understand sub's emotions better as they know both 'ends' of the BDSM stick..and I agree..t must be fun to be ale to pick if you feel like dominating or being dominated in a particular situation..

Besides..I like dolf and Luna..guess wouldn't have enough courage to answer this q otherwise :D














;)
 
shy slave said:
Maybe she should do one of her polls.....


Where should she be:

GB

BDSM

A Whole New Dolf Place

:p
Click to expand...
that's why i love you...you have the bestestest ideas ever!

someone needs to start a petition for a new dolf forum on lit.
{i'd start it myself but it might look like vanity}

*snicker*
 
very small hijack

dolf said:
that's why i love you...you have the bestestest ideas ever!

someone needs to start a petition for a new dolf forum on lit.
{i'd start it myself but it might look like vanity}

*snicker*
Click to expand...

You ....VAIN...never!

After all 10,000 + posts doesnt mean your vain :rolleyes:

I like the Miss Razor Fluff title ~ perfect and so very true

Hijack over
 
Ok, ok, so calling dolf a switch is over simplifying things, but I still like her. :kiss:

And I think starting a dolf forum is a great idea. We'll call it the 'subbie anti-christ' thread. Wadda y'all think?
 
Yes but if Dolf gets sent to a whole new Dolf place...can the rest of us come and visit? A Dolf-less world would be a much duller one...
 
sphynx's dragon said:
Yes but if Dolf gets sent to a whole new Dolf place...can the rest of us come and visit? A Dolf-less world would be a much duller one...
Click to expand...
*nods* i'll need people to flirt with or there's no fun.
 
dolf said:
*nods* i'll need people to flirt with or there's no fun.
Click to expand...
does it mean I'm welcomed with my teddies?? *trying to look all innocent and sweet and making puppy eyes*
 
YEAH!!! :nana: Going to a Dolf place...going to a Dolf place...

Sorry...unintentional hijackin...my only excuse...it's still early and I've only had one cup of coffee
 
sphynx's dragon said:
Yes but if Dolf gets sent to a whole new Dolf place...can the rest of us come and visit? A Dolf-less world would be a much duller one...
Click to expand...
Duller but saner lol

Oh can i still come to dolfs place will promise to flirt and be good?
 
I like switches, and I liked switching when it was where I was at. I sometimes have a jealous wistful feeling when I meet someone who plays with a hardcore "anything, anytime" badass attitude. I used to play like that, and not give a shit what anyone thought it made me, and it was great fun. I went for outrageousness, wherever I could find it.

I didn't stop because I really care what people thought it made me, I just found that the bottom was not really making me happy the way the top was, and I wanted to focus my energy and efforts there. I still find even more outrageousness and charge and overall it's just better. But the people I get along with best in the scene, usually, are switches, the bottoms I enjoy beating the most are switches and the only Tops I'd entertain the thought of bottoming to have universally, if I think about it, been switches. I think I just grok that kind of flexibility and both/and gestalt best.
 
I like Switches

(LOL) I know that I need that masochistic bent in me fixed on occasion. Usually that requires a Domly type that I trust to put me in maso-space and help me scratch that particular itch.

I tend to think of myself as Dominant (or at least strongly alpha) but I know (from prior training and relationships) that I can get off on serving. I like the fact that I have no particular label besides *Switch* and I enjoy it immensely when I stumble upon others like me who don't have a particular spot they want to stay in. Makes for exceedingly fun times :D .
 
And also, having seen Dolf and Luna and Vixie in the same thread, it reminds me of one other reason I like them. Most of the switches I know are HOT.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

F
Dominance in the Shadows: Who Are You When No One’s Watching?
Replies
11
Views
391
OlderBtm4U
OlderBtm4U
K
What's Your Favorite Act of Service to Give or Receive
Replies
13
Views
444
BarbieDoll1982
B
Aisline2007
Newbie Trying to Explore Hidden BDSM Desires
Replies
12
Views
856
Aisline2007
Aisline2007
Boat1
Thoughts on "Domme/Dom Space?"
Replies
16
Views
557
SPARTAN047
SPARTAN047
S
Does anyone know what knot this is...?
Replies
4
Views
646
sxPlasticity
S
Back
Top