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Taken In Hand

rosco rathbone

rosco rathbone

1. f3e5 2. g4??
Joined
Aug 30, 2002
Posts
42,431
I think that is my favorite D/s related website. Here is a gem I read today:

.....A man can establish his role as the head of the household by reminding the woman of who is in charge. There are times when I put my wife over my knee so she can be reacquainted with our established roles. This way she feels comforted knowing I am in charge of our relationship, that I am paying attention to her, and I am willing to be firm with her when I think she needs it. The man does not need to wait till the woman acts out in some way that requires a disciplinary response.

It is unwise to think of Taken In Hand as being exclusively about the man punishing a ‘faulty’ woman. Men are certainly no more or less faulty than women. They can also be the source of disconnection in the relationship. Believe me, I have my moments, LOL! But in our relationship, I do discipline my wife. Is it always fair? Maybe not, but fairness is not the real issue. The issue is: how do we connect as man and woman and how do we reconnect when our relationship has become contentious? The truth is we have developed a relationship where I am in charge and have authority to sanction her behavior. I no longer worry about whether spanking my wife for disobedience or for being contentious is fair. What makes this arrangement fair is that after a discipline spanking we have reconnected. By each of us having our needs met it results in a relationship that is happy and harmonious.....


www.takeninhand.com
 
rosco rathbone said:
I think that is my favorite D/s related website. Here is a gem I read today:

.....A man can establish his role as the head of the household by reminding the woman of who is in charge. There are times when I put my wife over my knee so she can be reacquainted with our established roles. This way she feels comforted knowing I am in charge of our relationship, that I am paying attention to her, and I am willing to be firm with her when I think she needs it. The man does not need to wait till the woman acts out in some way that requires a disciplinary response.

It is unwise to think of Taken In Hand as being exclusively about the man punishing a ‘faulty’ woman. Men are certainly no more or less faulty than women. They can also be the source of disconnection in the relationship. Believe me, I have my moments, LOL! But in our relationship, I do discipline my wife. Is it always fair? Maybe not, but fairness is not the real issue. The issue is: how do we connect as man and woman and how do we reconnect when our relationship has become contentious? The truth is we have developed a relationship where I am in charge and have authority to sanction her behavior. I no longer worry about whether spanking my wife for disobedience or for being contentious is fair. What makes this arrangement fair is that after a discipline spanking we have reconnected. By each of us having our needs met it results in a relationship that is happy and harmonious.....


www.takeninhand.com
Click to expand...


Thats an excellent site...thanks :)
 
They say Prince ALbert used to take Queen Victoria in hand. What an image.

"Madame! Are you speaking to me as a Queen, or as a wife!"
 
rosco rathbone said:
They say Prince ALbert used to take Queen Victoria in hand. What an image.

"Madame! Are you speaking to me as a Queen, or as a wife!"
Click to expand...


Yeah, but that ring in his bits makes me think she had some esoteric tastes.

To keep his shirt from ruffling up? Please.
 
Netzach said:
Yeah, but that ring in his bits makes me think she had some esoteric tastes.

To keep his shirt from ruffling up? Please.
Click to expand...

He had a weird caging/confinement thing too, with the can and all...
 
rosco rathbone said:
I think that is my favorite D/s related website. Here is a gem I read today:

[i, that I am paying attention to her, ....[/i]


QUOTE]


I think paying attention is one of the big factors in why so many in nilla relationships have problems. After the honeymoon of course. It's harder to disconnect in a bdsm relationship.
Click to expand...
 
...Whether a man is a head of state or a husband, taking charge is predicated on doing what is best for everyone involved. Sometimes the strongest men are absolute pushovers on the simplest of things. They have a tender touch.

Yet, underneath, there is a core of resiliency that will not be moved. There are simply things that this person will not do. Likewise, there are things that he will not allow to be done.

As head of a household, a man does not always have to be right. He certainly does not have to be perfect. Nor, does he always have to be superficially strong. What he must have is a capacity to look beyond himself.

That said, if he has dealt with a woman given to needling and pushing buttons, there comes a time when he may need to straighten a few things out. This may be as simple as jerking a knot in his wife's rear end or it may be as complex as making significant changes in the family's lifestyle....

This one touched me today. It kind of resonated with my sense of being utterly laid-back yet completely stubborn and iron-willed at the same time---an odd contradiction.
 
rosco rathbone said:
This one touched me today. It kind of resonated with my sense of being utterly laid-back yet completely stubborn and iron-willed at the same time---an odd contradiction.
Click to expand...

Sounds a good combination to me :)
 
YinandYang said:
Sounds a good combination to me :)
Click to expand...

It is. :)

I once knew somebody who could have written the quote Rosco just posted. He certainly lived his life that way.
 
The thing is, this only works if your wife actually wants you to hit her. I'm not convinced too many women are into that these days, I could be wrong.
 
I think a *lot* of women want to get hit/spanked. I think a lot of those women are less interested in out-of-the-bedroom control.
 
miss_inquisitive said:
I think there is a big difference in being hit and being taken in hand. But I think I am picking your word apart, I don't mean to.

To be taken in hand, to me, is more of a maintenance action, it leads to you not being out of hand. Personally a maintenance spanking is less painful then one given for discipline because you don't have the added pain of causing disappointment.
Also to me it shows care.
Click to expand...


Alright, I recognize the distinction you're drawing, but I still hold that most American women would consider being spanked in any circumstances other than kinky play to be demeaning.

You're preaching to the choir, but I do see a limited usefulness to this info based on high society looks at gender roles these days, and "proper" forms of emotional expression.
 
A lot of what "taken in hand" means to me, is the idea that women need both be able to have their emotional outbursts--it is female nature---but they also need to feel the presence of a firm hand that will tolerate no bullshit. It' s a balancing act. Men of my generation and background were raised to go out of our way to take very seriously everything out of a woman's mouth--as if any kind of hysteria, venting, and so on had to be dealt with in the context of rational discussion. The idea of saying 'woman--any more of your PMS and I am going to turn you across my knee" was completely unthinkable--but I happen to have come to believe that much of what I was taught about females in the aftermath of the sexual revolution was complete and utter bollocks .Women will be women and that is what makes them magical but they are often irrational and need a firm guiding hand.
 
rosco rathbone said:
A lot of what "taken in hand" means to me, is the idea that women need both be able to have their emotional outbursts--it is female nature---but they also need to feel the presence of a firm hand that will tolerate no bullshit. It' s a balancing act. Men of my generation and background were raised to go out of our way to take very seriously everything out of a woman's mouth--as if any kind of hysteria, venting, and so on had to be dealt with in the context of rational discussion. The idea of saying 'woman--any more of your PMS and I am going to turn you across my knee" was completely unthinkable--but I happen to have come to believe that much of what I was taught about females in the aftermath of the sexual revolution was complete and utter bollocks .Women will be women and that is what makes them magical but they are often irrational and need a firm guiding hand.
Click to expand...


Do timeouts in the closet count or does it have to be physical?
 
When my boy is crying like a soggy drag queen because he's trying to quit and misses his ciggies the rational male mind just awes me.
 
Netzach said:
When my boy is crying like a soggy drag queen because he's trying to quit and misses his ciggies the rational male mind just awes me.
Click to expand...

I'm impressed mostly when I see a certain msub "coach" his footie team at the top of his lungs from this side of the tv screen....
 
I think there is a difference to being 'taken in hand' and having someone take the piss. In my marriage to my ex (who was alcohol dependent), he took the piss. I was a slave in a sense that I didn't like, his 'take her in hand' consisted of drunken brawls and acid tongues. I would walk on eggshells all the time, and the strength was wiped out of me. Until I had children then I turned into Joan of Arc ;)

But anyway, rambling....I think there is a huge difference between commanding with respect and generally exerting dominance for ones own greed.

I agree with the old values to a certain respect, mainly because of the male/female differences. Both men and women have strengths, that ultimately compliment each other. I found that site good, because I saw respect there, people who were willing to find out and learn without just throwing their weight around.

Coming back to that whole feminism thing....I could no more build a house than have the urge to, i'll leave that up to the men ;)

:D
 
snowy ciara said:
I'm impressed mostly when I see a certain msub "coach" his footie team at the top of his lungs from this side of the tv screen....
Click to expand...

Mock if you must, demon child, but it worked did it not? They managed to pull up their trousers and win!

Apologies for the hijack, Rosco. Great sigline, demon child.
 
Marquis said:
Do timeouts in the closet count or does it have to be physical?
Click to expand...


They count.

Not all men are created equally rational and not all females equally irrational--just the ones that like me!
 
Marquis said:
Alright, I recognize the distinction you're drawing, but I still hold that most American women would consider being spanked in any circumstances other than kinky play to be demeaning.

You're preaching to the choir, but I do see a limited usefulness to this info based on high society looks at gender roles these days, and "proper" forms of emotional expression.
Click to expand...


that made me feel a little bit better... I'm going to be working in my school's women's center next year... I'm part of the feminists usinted club (F.U.) too... but i'm totally a sub in bed... and in my sexual fantasies that don't necissarally involve the bedroom (attendent, toy, goods, etc..) I get so conflicted feeling about some things sometimes...
 
I like to look at gender equality from an Orwellian perspective.

We're all equal, some of us are just more equal than others.

:p
 
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