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Submissives with dominance fantasies

dragonlace

dragonlace

a wolfs angel
Joined
Mar 17, 2002
Posts
3,283
Is it normal for submissives to have fantasies of dominating? How many have had these fantasies, what were they and have you ever tried it?

Lately i have had a couple of fantasies about dominating a woman. In one, its with a strapon while my Master watches and in another it was the both of us. I have never fantasized about dominating a man but wonder if its common to have these thoughts.

I love being a submissive and wonder if its being untrue to myself or if this is just another facet of my true self trying to emerge.

Is it common for women to be submissive to men and yet dominant to women? What do you think?
 
It is not uncommon. I personally may have the occasional glimmer of dominating a woman - a sub but it quickly fades away and loses it's lustre quickly. There is no single submissive out there who is 100% submissive, otherwise you would be clearly mentally incapable even if it iis only in a sexual way.

That's how I view it.
 
I can't say I have fantasies about dominating a female, but I do frequently fall into a very dominant headspace when sparring either verbally or physically.

In another thread I mentioned I had just taken up the martial arts, and was fascinated by the rush that overcomes me when I'm blocking blows, kicking, or punching. It's the only time when I truely get aroused at the idea of dominating another person. It's also probably dangerous as hell.
 
Xelebes said:
It is not uncommon. I personally may have the occasional glimmer of dominating a woman - a sub but it quickly fades away and loses it's lustre quickly. There is no single submissive out there who is 100% submissive, otherwise you would be clearly mentally incapable even if it iis only in a sexual way.

That's how I view it.
Click to expand...
same here, and it's not very common at all with me anyway, the appeal is weak, fades really quickly, subbing has much more appeal to me.
 
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Sometimes when I read the writings of a really strong domme like shadowsdream I fall in love with the poise and the control and for a split second wish that I could be that person, that role, but the moment is fleeting and I soon realise that it's just not me. In the past, I have tried topping and I was told I got 10/10 for effort but that it just seemed "forced" and "fake".

I am a sub. It is who I am. Wearing PVC trousers does not a domme make!


Jx
 
I have not had the fantasy of my own free will, though have induced them to help me get into the head space required to fulfil his desire to have me top others. Seems the topping went so well it was more than believeable and served to satisy both Master and the recipient well. It is a work in progress, though no matter how confusing I may find my emotions at moments, I do know I am not a Dominant, nor want to become one, nor get the same type thrill from it that he does (or perhaps I should say it doesn't come from the same place), but I can oblige.

Catalina :rose:
 
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I am quite a focused stubborn free will sort of person in every day life, so i guess taking the submissive stance for me is like a huge releif. I did think once what it would be like to dominate someone, and it flew in and flew right out again, doesn't really do anything for me. I think it would leave me quite cold, and I don't think I would be any good at it anyway lol. :rolleyes:
 
Thank to everyone for their input :)

I have never been a dominant personality and do not think i would be very good at it, thats kinda why the fantasies threw me off a bit. Its kinda way out of the box for me. It made me wonder if there aren't some inner feelings i want to explore but haven't thought of or felt, kinda like my subconcious trying to let me know.

In the past if a man wasn't strong enough i would tend to get more dominant with them physically, but it always left me cold. It never fulfilled me like being a submissive does. So these fantasies about women just made me think a bit. It was kinda awkward feeling so aroused by them when they are opposite of how i feel normally. Thanks again to all :)
 
submissive looking to dom?

The most natural subs I've known have been strong-willed and easily able to switch to domme. ::Shrug:: Seems to me it takes a stong woman to submit. Be yourself.
 
Hi lacey.

Being untrue to yourself would be mean quelling the natural evolvement of your sexuality.

Submissiveness (as you know) is infused with conflicting impulses that don't always fit a predefined visage of passiveness and non-resistance. Are we being untrue to our submissive selves when we want a beating to stop? Or when we are angry at our easily acquired acquiesence in situations which do not call for it? Certainly not.

If the evolution of your sexual explorations involve domination, i don't think you should backpedal from it all. Instead, embrace the possibility that there is an aspect of dominating another that appeals to a part of you completely unrelated to your submissiveness. You may find yourself turned off at the idea or fully aroused and left wanting more.

Bottom line, bring these thoughts and wants to your Master and hopefully, he will encourage your exploration and support your burgeoning interest in topping.

Good luck lacey.

lara
 
Thanks s'lara and everyone, i appreciate it. It has made me feel less strange about it and perhaps someday i will expore it and not be afraid of it. At any rate thanks for all the input. :)
 
I used to switch before I finally realized that I simply do not have what it takes to be a good top. I still have fantasies about it now and then, especially with a certain male bottom that D plays with now and then that for some reason I have this urge to top him every time I am with him, but don't have the confidence to do so effectively and safely. So fantasy it remains.

Most of the most dominant women I know are switches. D is a switch, although she does not bottom very often. I think it is perfectly natural to feel strongly solid in one role yet dabble in the other, whether it be just in play or an actual role you embrace as part of yourself. It certainly doesn't make you any less sumissive, nor would your submissiveness make your dominance any less dominant, should you choose to explore that option beyound your fantasies.
 
The only submissive fantasies I've ever had involve bondage and pain. I could live with being tied up and letting a girl do what she will with me. Even then, it could get ugly quickly if she tried anything funny.

I also kinda dig on being whipped. Kinda makes the hairs on my back stand up and puts me in good poise to do the Dom thing.

So all in all, I think I'll just stick to my team. Go Doms!
 
dragonlace said:
Thanks s'lara and everyone, i appreciate it. It has made me feel less strange about it and perhaps someday i will expore it and not be afraid of it. At any rate thanks for all the input. :)
Click to expand...

Perhaps one way of trying it without too much fallout and confusion is if it is done as part of your submission. When commanded of you it becomes like all other commands, something you try to do your best at to please the one who demands it of you, and hopefully without the thought in the back of the mind some have suggested in the past to make sure it is not successful so you don't have to do it again as it then becomes more an issue of topping from the bottom in a sneaky way. ;)

Catalina :rose:
 
dragonlace said:
Is it normal for submissives to have fantasies of dominating? How many have had these fantasies, what were they and have you ever tried it?

Lately i have had a couple of fantasies about dominating a woman. In one, its with a strapon while my Master watches and in another it was the both of us. I have never fantasized about dominating a man but wonder if its common to have these thoughts.

I love being a submissive and wonder if its being untrue to myself or if this is just another facet of my true self trying to emerge.

Is it common for women to be submissive to men and yet dominant to women? What do you think?
Click to expand...

Babe, it's just another facet of you. We can discuss this privately. Obviously, I have a unique perspective on the topic as it pertains to you. LOL
 
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