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Old 07-02-2015, 01:09 AM   #1
skg123
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Just starting out! Looking for guidance!

Hello everyone, I have come here because I have been interested (and have fantasied) about BDSM for so long and I FINALLY have someone I trust and is willing to experiment and get into this with me. Trouble is, I don't really know where to start. I'm a female sub and I know I'm really into light bondage, but I haven't had the chance to try else until now. My partner is a male with less experience than I have. What do you suggest we start out with? Is there certain equipment that we should get? Is there anything that I should read like those guide books and what not? I want to become a part of this community/lifestyle, but I don't even know where to start...
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Old 07-02-2015, 02:05 AM   #2
Gianbattista
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skg123 View Post
Hello everyone, I have come here because I have been interested (and have fantasied) about BDSM for so long and I FINALLY have someone I trust and is willing to experiment and get into this with me. Trouble is, I don't really know where to start. I'm a female sub and I know I'm really into light bondage, but I haven't had the chance to try else until now. My partner is a male with less experience than I have. What do you suggest we start out with? Is there certain equipment that we should get? Is there anything that I should read like those guide books and what not? I want to become a part of this community/lifestyle, but I don't even know where to start...
Someone wiser than me will come along soon. . But welcome.

I would certainly suggest reading. There is a good library here and books are recommended. There is also lots of information on line, and people here are Kind and helpful about helping with questions. With bondage you want to be aware of where and you secure/ are secured, and take responsibility for monitoring things. For example, its not to unusual for me to have to tell my husband after sometime that my hands are starting to tingle.
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Old 07-02-2015, 08:10 AM   #3
JAMESBJOHNSON
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skg123 View Post
Hello everyone, I have come here because I have been interested (and have fantasied) about BDSM for so long and I FINALLY have someone I trust and is willing to experiment and get into this with me. Trouble is, I don't really know where to start. I'm a female sub and I know I'm really into light bondage, but I haven't had the chance to try else until now. My partner is a male with less experience than I have. What do you suggest we start out with? Is there certain equipment that we should get? Is there anything that I should read like those guide books and what not? I want to become a part of this community/lifestyle, but I don't even know where to start...
Order the official LIT BDSM bicycle helmet and Capon Cape for that queer rooster of yours.
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Old 07-02-2015, 09:04 AM   #4
SwitchMaster
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To save you a trip to the library, let me recommend "Different Loving".

http://www.amazon.com/Different-Lovi.../dp/0679769560

The key is to communicate openly and honestly about what you like, don't like and what turns you on. I'm a little embarrassed to admit some of the things I like and I'm hesitant to bring them up with a partner. To get around that in the olden days, my ex and I would dog-ear the pages of stories in Penthouse Variations that we thought were hot.

Nowadays with this new-fangled interweb, we can just bookmark Lit stories or videos. Ideally, you would read the stories together or watch the videos and break down what parts were really exciting and what parts were not.
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Old 07-02-2015, 10:04 AM   #5
dims
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Otherwise test the waters and find out what you like, for some it is pain, others is into control and so forth. You probably wont be able to find reading that really works for you before you have played around a bit. The only rule for that play is that you need to check up on every idea before you test them.
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Old 07-02-2015, 03:40 PM   #6
subwannabe
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One thing to know is that there is no strict definition of what BDSM is. It can be anything you want it to be. My first wife was into "BDSM". She wanted to be tied up and ordered to suck my cock but did not want me to cum in her mouth. She also wanted to be lightly spanked, and I mean lightly. She also liked me to fuck her missionary, doggie, and with her on top. That was the entire extent of her definition of BDSM - extremely tame compared to the other end of the spectrum. I have two main pieces of advice:

1. Learn as you go and take your time. If you progress all the way to the end game in one month you have cheated yourself out of everything in between.

2. Get ahold of a BDSM checklist and go over it with your partner. Not only will it give you ideas on what to do but you will both have a better understanding of what each other doesn't want to do.

And remember that a part of BDSM is mental and not physical. Also - you can have a very good BDSM relationship without buying anything. Being creative is half the fun.

Last edited by subwannabe : 07-03-2015 at 09:56 AM.
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Old 07-03-2015, 06:56 AM   #7
guru5685
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skg123 View Post
Hello everyone, I have come here because I have been interested (and have fantasied) about BDSM for so long and I FINALLY have someone I trust and is willing to experiment and get into this with me. Trouble is, I don't really know where to start. I'm a female sub and I know I'm really into light bondage, but I haven't had the chance to try else until now. My partner is a male with less experience than I have. What do you suggest we start out with? Is there certain equipment that we should get? Is there anything that I should read like those guide books and what not? I want to become a part of this community/lifestyle, but I don't even know where to start...
One very important thing that hasn't really been covered is be true to yourself. You need to set your own fantasies and limitations. I would suggest testing your limitations and then gradually test them. I think someone else mentioned it, but books are really good to
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