Old 12-18-2012, 02:42 PM   #105076
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The ellipsis is the most overused punctuation in the English language, and I am the most egregious over-user of it...









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Old 12-18-2012, 09:43 PM   #105077
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The ellipsis is the most overused punctuation in the English language, and I am the most egregious over-user of it...

Oh no, not the ellipsis! That's almost as bad as an inappropriate use of the tilde, such as:

Dear Charlotte~


Agggghhhhhh! I had a colleague who used it constantly, and it drove me bonkers.

It's always the little things.
 

Old 12-18-2012, 11:30 PM   #105078
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Oh no, not the ellipsis! That's almost as bad as an inappropriate use of the tilde, such as:

Dear Charlotte~


Agggghhhhhh! I had a colleague who used it constantly, and it drove me bonkers.

It's always the little things.
And the not so little as well...

~gropes~

and es
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:11 AM   #105079
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And the not so little as well...

~gropes~

and es
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Old 12-19-2012, 08:13 AM   #105080
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Oooh! You're just pushing ALL my buttons tonight, aren't you?!
*pushes*

We will make a Litster out of you yet...

(wait, aren't you one of the original Litsters?)

Parenthesis, the other most abused punctuation overused by me
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Old 12-21-2012, 04:22 AM   #105081
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12-21-12

Yeah, that's what the calendar says.
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Old 12-21-2012, 05:49 AM   #105082
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12-21-12

Yeah, that's what the calendar says.
Doomsday, again? And I still haven't gotten my asbestos underwear back from the cleaners.
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Old 12-21-2012, 08:41 AM   #105083
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Doomsday, again? And I still haven't gotten my asbestos underwear back from the cleaners.
asbestos? Man, that stuff is worse than doomsday.
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Old 12-21-2012, 10:26 AM   #105084
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:53 AM   #105085
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Christmas Cards

Every year we send and get Christmas Cards. We're always late because my wife's birthday is on the 15th December and she doesn't like anything 'Christmas' until after her birthday.

Every year we send some to people who don't send us one.

Every year we get one or two from people from whom we don't expect one.

This year one of my cousins died. Of course we sent a message of condolence to her daughter (and her long-divorced husband with whom she was still in touch). I hadn't seen that cousin for 30 years and had never met her daughter.

Yesterday we had a Christmas Card from the daughter who wrote it from herself, her son and her father.

Panic. We didn't have her address. We didn't even know she had a son.

But my sister in law thought that the daughter was living in her mother's old house and we did have that address. She and my brother had also received a Christmas Card from the daughter. But their Christmas Card had an unreadable postmark so they couldn't be sure where the daughter was living. Our card's envelope had a clear postmark so both of us are sending Christmas Cards back.

They'll arrive late.

Years ago we used to send and receive several hundred Christmas Cards. Now we send and receive several dozen personalised emails and about fifty cards.

But we still dislike the generic email or annual round-robin letter enclosed with the card. Those that are personalised are useful and show some thought. The ones that are sent in identical words to relations, friends and acquaintances seem patronising.

Do we need to know that little Johnny is being a sheep in the Nativity play when we've never met little Johnny?

What do you think about Christmas Greetings?

Oops! I nearly forgot. Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all of you, whether I know you, or you know me, or not... Whichever. Just have a good time.
 

Old 12-22-2012, 09:53 PM   #105086
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Originally Posted by oggbashan View Post
Every year we send and get Christmas Cards. We're always late because my wife's birthday is on the 15th December and she doesn't like anything 'Christmas' until after her birthday.

Every year we send some to people who don't send us one.

Every year we get one or two from people from whom we don't expect one.

This year one of my cousins died. Of course we sent a message of condolence to her daughter (and her long-divorced husband with whom she was still in touch). I hadn't seen that cousin for 30 years and had never met her daughter.

Yesterday we had a Christmas Card from the daughter who wrote it from herself, her son and her father.

Panic. We didn't have her address. We didn't even know she had a son.

But my sister in law thought that the daughter was living in her mother's old house and we did have that address. She and my brother had also received a Christmas Card from the daughter. But their Christmas Card had an unreadable postmark so they couldn't be sure where the daughter was living. Our card's envelope had a clear postmark so both of us are sending Christmas Cards back.

They'll arrive late.

Years ago we used to send and receive several hundred Christmas Cards. Now we send and receive several dozen personalised emails and about fifty cards.

But we still dislike the generic email or annual round-robin letter enclosed with the card. Those that are personalised are useful and show some thought. The ones that are sent in identical words to relations, friends and acquaintances seem patronising.

Do we need to know that little Johnny is being a sheep in the Nativity play when we've never met little Johnny?

What do you think about Christmas Greetings?

Oops! I nearly forgot. Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all of you, whether I know you, or you know me, or not... Whichever. Just have a good time.
Have a merry Christmas and wonderful New Year, Og.
 

Old 12-23-2012, 06:00 AM   #105087
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Have a merry Christmas and wonderful New Year, Og.
Here, Here.

Hello Damps; nice to see you.
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:58 PM   #105088
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What do you think about Christmas Greetings?

Oops! I nearly forgot. Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all of you, whether I know you, or you know me, or not... Whichever. Just have a good time.


Happy Christmas to you! Don't know ya but I'm here now so there you go

Personally, I like receiving Christmas cards, I like to connect at least once a year with people, everyone's so busy and scattered all over the world, it's nice to take a moment to catch up and get caught up. I also don't mind those typed and copied annual report letters that get sent out to everyone as long as there's a personal sentence or two at the end. I got one this year from someone who I hadn't heard from in probably 12 years, she didn't even bother to sign her name, it was just printed on the letter, and it was like reading a newspaper article..... only more boring but just as generic and cold. It actually upset me.

I sent out 27 cards this year and I think hubby did about 12. I make it a point to write something different and personal to every recipient. I don't like Christmas or birthday emails in this day and age of emails all day and all year long, plus I like getting real mail..... you know, in a mailbox.
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Old 12-24-2012, 11:52 PM   #105089
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I am alone for the holiday. And yet I was trying to hard to not be this year...
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:12 AM   #105090
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That is the heaviest snow I have ever shoveled...
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:34 AM   #105091
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Why, in fuck, do you morons insist on fucking up traffic by slowing down to gawk at every roadside accident ??


You really are goddamned idiots. The dumbass motherfuckers simply cannot refrain from slamming on the brakes to gape at two crumpled bumpers and a police car.


Instead of paying attention to driving your own automobile, you dimbulbs do your damndest to cause another accident. If you'd mind your own business, there wouldn't be a backup, at all— but you just have to behave like the simpletons you are.



 

Old 12-28-2012, 10:52 AM   #105092
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I'm looking good today.

(New glasses.)
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Old 12-28-2012, 10:54 AM   #105093
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"Bump"?

I'm looking good today.

(New glasses.)
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Old 12-28-2012, 11:56 AM   #105094
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"Bump"?

I'm looking good today.

(New glasses.)
Careful, you might get bumped back
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:25 PM   #105095
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Why, in fuck, do you morons insist on fucking up traffic by slowing down to gawk at every roadside accident ??

Instead of paying attention to driving your own automobile, you dimbulbs do your damndest to cause another accident. If you'd mind your own business, there wouldn't be a backup, at all— but you just have to behave like the simpletons you are.
I'm not quite sure which of us counts within "you morons", but the problem you illustrate is not limited to the US.

But help is at hand; in the UK we have started using these.

Perhaps the traffic cops over there might find them useful?.
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Old 12-28-2012, 04:07 PM   #105096
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I'm not quite sure which of us counts within "you morons", but the problem you illustrate is not limited to the US.

But help is at hand; in the UK we have started using these.

Perhaps the traffic cops over there might find them useful?.

That's interesting.


I hope I'm wrong but I'll bet it doesn't work. The gawkers will continue to gawk. Believe me, in this instance, I'd be delighted to be proved wrong.


 

Old 12-28-2012, 05:53 PM   #105097
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Dear Douchecanoe,

Read every email you write aloud to yourself. If you notice yourself sounding like a pompous ass, think twice before sending the email. If you do this several times and find yourself sounding like a pretentious jerk each and every time, maybe you should just admit to yourself that you are, indeed, an ostentatious, overbearing twatwaffle.

This is simply a helpful suggestion from someone to reads your emails aloud to others in my best imitation of your "pompous ass" voice. You should know that that had your email contained anything other than supercilious assholery, we would likely have missed it due to the portentous context.

Fuck you very much and have a nice day.
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Old 12-29-2012, 12:13 AM   #105098
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Dear Douchecanoe,

Read every email you write aloud to yourself. If you notice yourself sounding like a pompous ass, think twice before sending the email. If you do this several times and find yourself sounding like a pretentious jerk each and every time, maybe you should just admit to yourself that you are, indeed, an ostentatious, overbearing twatwaffle.

This is simply a helpful suggestion from someone to reads your emails aloud to others in my best imitation of your "pompous ass" voice. You should know that that had your email contained anything other than supercilious assholery, we would likely have missed it due to the portentous context.

Fuck you very much and have a nice day.
Sorry...didn't realize you were that bent at me....
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Old 12-29-2012, 12:51 AM   #105099
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Sorry...didn't realize you were that bent at me....
Are you prone to pompous assholery? Quick...say something pretentious! LOL
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Old 12-29-2012, 01:02 AM   #105100
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I'm BORED! I am taking a vacation until the kids go back to school but I've got all these really good ideas floating around in my head. Plus, I feel really lazy. I love spending time with my family, but I'm quickly heading into OVERKILL.
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