Old 02-03-2012, 07:26 AM   #104026
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Chapter 20 is for sale on Amazon at ten bucks a copy.
Clever man
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Old 02-03-2012, 12:16 PM   #104027
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Clever man
I've never been accused of being clever before. What do I do now?

It was my story but it would be a good sales strategy.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:01 PM   #104028
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Chapter 20 is for sale on Amazon at ten bucks a copy.
That's okay, I don't need to know that badly. >_>
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Old 02-03-2012, 04:09 PM   #104029
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That's okay, I don't need to know that badly. >_>
That was a joke Trom, I don't anything about the last chapter or chapters.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:22 PM   #104030
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That was a joke Trom, I don't anything about the last chapter or chapters.
I know, my response was also a joke. :P
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:44 PM   #104031
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What were my ancestors up to?

I've been trawling through 19th Century census returns.

In the 1861 census, an ancestor John is shown as being married to another John. I didn't know that was possible then, especially as they apparently had three children.
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:13 PM   #104032
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I know, my response was also a joke. :P
My pathetic quest to wring additional humor out of this small sequence of admissions is also a joke.
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Old 02-03-2012, 08:00 PM   #104033
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Old 02-03-2012, 08:49 PM   #104034
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I've been trawling through 19th Century census returns.

In the 1861 census, an ancestor John is shown as being married to another John. I didn't know that was possible then, especially as they apparently had three children.
Either there is a misprint or someone in your family had a strange sense of humor where female names are concerned.
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:26 PM   #104035
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My guess would be an oblivious census taker.

"Hello, I am Mr Jon Whatever, and this is the wife, Mrs Jon Whatever."
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Old 02-04-2012, 06:36 AM   #104036
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My guess would be an oblivious census taker.

"Hello, I am Mr Jon Whatever, and this is the wife, Mrs Jon Whatever."
You probably have the right of it.
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:20 AM   #104037
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When I hear "Do a Barrel Roll" I think of a Calvin and Hobbs comic from 1991.


But everyone else seems to think of the video game Starfox 64, six years later, and that saddens me
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:48 AM   #104038
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My guess would be an oblivious census taker.

"Hello, I am Mr Jon Whatever, and this is the wife, Mrs Jon Whatever."
Maybe. The entry is shown as:

John Whatever male - age 35
--do-------do-female - age 35
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:00 AM   #104039
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Maybe. The entry is shown as:

John Whatever male - age 35
--do-------do-female - age 35
Ah. How lazy.
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Old 02-04-2012, 04:10 PM   #104040
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I need a guard dog.

This evening, again, our two dog bowls have been stolen.

It usually happens on a Friday night/Saturday morning after midnight. Today, between 6pm and 7.30pm someone removed the bowls, which were frozen solid, and left one in the middle of the road about 50 yards away.

It has been run over by a car and is smashed. The other one is nowhere to be seen although ice from inside it is about 150 yards away.

We have had dog bowls outside our house for about 5 years because we are on a major dog-walking route. We used to have stainless steel ones. I had to retrieve those from the beach, the sea when the tide went out, and between the beach huts. Sometimes they were returned by early morning dog walkers. But they vanished completely about 3 months ago so we replaced them with plastic ones. Now one is smashed and the other has gone.

There is a council CCTV camera covering the area but 'nothing was seen' or 'it is too expensive to review the footage'.

We have two more stainless steel dog bowls. Do I put them out tomorrow morning and hope? Or do I give up?

We're not the only sufferers. There is another dog watering house about 250 yards away. They too have their dog bowls stolen.

Any suggestions?
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Old 02-04-2012, 04:20 PM   #104041
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This evening, again, our two dog bowls have been stolen.

It usually happens on a Friday night/Saturday morning after midnight. Today, between 6pm and 7.30pm someone removed the bowls, which were frozen solid, and left one in the middle of the road about 50 yards away.

It has been run over by a car and is smashed. The other one is nowhere to be seen although ice from inside it is about 150 yards away.

We have had dog bowls outside our house for about 5 years because we are on a major dog-walking route. We used to have stainless steel ones. I had to retrieve those from the beach, the sea when the tide went out, and between the beach huts. Sometimes they were returned by early morning dog walkers. But they vanished completely about 3 months ago so we replaced them with plastic ones. Now one is smashed and the other has gone.

There is a council CCTV camera covering the area but 'nothing was seen' or 'it is too expensive to review the footage'.

We have two more stainless steel dog bowls. Do I put them out tomorrow morning and hope? Or do I give up?

We're not the only sufferers. There is another dog watering house about 250 yards away. They too have their dog bowls stolen.

Any suggestions?
How about using the top part of a cement birdbath? Fill it with a few pitchers of water. Whatever you do, don't give up. Those neighborhood pranksters will grow up soon and move away.
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Old 02-04-2012, 04:53 PM   #104042
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How about using the top part of a cement birdbath? Fill it with a few pitchers of water. Whatever you do, don't give up. Those neighborhood pranksters will grow up soon and move away.
That sounds like a good idea. But the "pranksters will not grow up soon". If they are who I think they are, they're in their 30s.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:20 PM   #104043
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This evening, again, our two dog bowls have been stolen.

It usually happens on a Friday night/Saturday morning after midnight. Today, between 6pm and 7.30pm someone removed the bowls, which were frozen solid, and left one in the middle of the road about 50 yards away.

It has been run over by a car and is smashed. The other one is nowhere to be seen although ice from inside it is about 150 yards away.

We have had dog bowls outside our house for about 5 years because we are on a major dog-walking route. We used to have stainless steel ones. I had to retrieve those from the beach, the sea when the tide went out, and between the beach huts. Sometimes they were returned by early morning dog walkers. But they vanished completely about 3 months ago so we replaced them with plastic ones. Now one is smashed and the other has gone.

There is a council CCTV camera covering the area but 'nothing was seen' or 'it is too expensive to review the footage'.

We have two more stainless steel dog bowls. Do I put them out tomorrow morning and hope? Or do I give up?

We're not the only sufferers. There is another dog watering house about 250 yards away. They too have their dog bowls stolen.

Any suggestions?
If you know a welder, have him weld the bowels to a steel rod and concrete it in the ground. Then hope the fools come along and kick it.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:21 PM   #104044
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If you know a welder, have him weld the bowels to a steel rod and concrete it in the ground. Then hope the fools come along and kick it.
I like this idea!!
 

Old 02-04-2012, 07:29 PM   #104045
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I like this idea!!
I have others that are even better but they have nothing to do with dog bowls.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:37 PM   #104046
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If you know a welder, have him weld the bowels to a steel rod and concrete it in the ground. Then hope the fools come along and kick it.
It might be an idea, but if the people who do it are who I think they are, I'd be guilty of injuring the afflicted...

Their carers would probably arrange for an injury claim lawyer.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:42 PM   #104047
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I have others that are even better but they have nothing to do with dog bowls.
I just bet you do.

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It might be an idea, but if the people who do it are who I think they are, I'd be guilty of injuring the afflicted...

Their carers would probably arrange for an injury claim lawyer.

You could post a sign (cemented into the ground - of course)

Beware of Kicking the Sign

or

Kick at Your Own Risk
 

Old 02-04-2012, 07:43 PM   #104048
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It might be an idea, but if the people who do it are who I think they are, I'd be guilty of injuring the afflicted...

Their carers would probably arrange for an injury claim lawyer.
I don't know the law over there but here, if the bowls are on my property and you come on my property to get to the bowls and injury yourself then you are trespassing and the law is on my side.

Just make sure the bowls are on your side of the line.
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:05 PM   #104049
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I don't know the law over there but here, if the bowls are on my property and you come on my property to get to the bowls and injury yourself then you are trespassing and the law is on my side.

Just make sure the bowls are on your side of the line.
If someone has a legitimate reason to be on my property e.g. delivering mail, and they are injured, they can sue me. My house insurance covers me against that, both for my defence costs and any damages they might be awarded.

I would have to prove that they were entering my property, not for a legitimate reason, but to steal the dog bowls. If I could catch them, then I wouldn't have the problem. I'd sue them in the small claims court for the cost of replacements. That wouldn't be much money but bad publicity for them (and their incompetent so-called professional carers, if my suspicions are correct).
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:40 PM   #104050
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Speaking of thievery and petty acts against mankind, I think I forgot to return my lady friend's ring. I borrowed it (unbeknownst to her) to sketch out some surrealist artistic idea I had for a family made entirely of peridot gems. I think it might be her wedding ring, seeing as she came to me earlier, distraught and complaining about losing her wedding ring.

I really ought to give it back whenever she's not looking. But it's a pretty ring, and my art isn't done. Shame on me?
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