How did you find out that you were gay/bisexual?

[Man with a Plan]

I'm bisexual and damn proud of it

I only discovered recently when I came onto Lit and started looking at the Hot Male Sex Thread out of pure curiousity. I had previously had some attraction to other males but had never really looked into it until I saw that thread. Now I find the male and female bodies equally attractive. I only wish that I could find another male to speak on MSN Messenger on this. I can't wait until I meet the man that I lose my "gay virginity" to. I've already had sex with a woman so I know that I am not gay, just very happily sexually open and bisexual.

[ohiobiguy]

I realized long ago that cocks turned me on, but I didn't think much of it. Then, I began to find myself looking at more gay/bi sites and at anal sex pics. It sort of was an evolution, but I found that as much as I love women and their bodies, I also love cocks.

[John Doe]

I haven't really had a turning point. It's something that's just developed over time.

[mystic_maiden32]

Originally posted by Stuponfucious
I haven't really had a turning point. It's something that's just developed over time.

same here. I have always been attracted to both men and women.

[tacoPaco]

edit

[SweetErika]

I've always seen the female body as beautiful, but I think I miscategorized my interest as a thought that most women have. I've fantasized about women for a long time, but again, I wrote it off as pure fantasy because I loved men. A few years ago, I started thinking seriously about satisfying my curiosity and looking for a woman to do this with on and off, but the more I thought about it, the more I was sure I would love it. I was very sure I was bi even before the experience, and having sex just served to confirm what I knew.

So, I think it was always there, but I went through a long process of discovery to reach confirmation.

[glamorilla]

i was born.

[Zergplex]

Originally posted by mystic_maiden32
same here. I have always been attracted to both men and women.

Same for me. I can't remember a time I wasn't attracted to both (I have a slight preference to women, but thats mainly because I love long hair and few men in this area keep their hair long other then me)

-Zergplex

[Queersetti]

Originally posted by glamorilla
i was born.

Yep. How do straight people find out that they are straight?

[John Doe]

Originally posted by Queersetti
Yep. How do straight people find out that they are straight?

I need some clarification on this. The question is when did one find out, not when did one become so.

So can you actually remember knowing you were gay since you were an infant?

[kalalau]

I relate to what SweetErika had to say about being bi. As a teen, I went out with, and enjoyed women. At the same time though, I often fantasized about being with men. This came to a head in my early 20's. I knew that I was ready, and I knew that I would love it, and when I was with my first man, I went absolutely wild with him. I couldn't believe how amazingly natural it felt to be with him. I still think that women are more beautiful, but I tend to more passionate with men in bed.....

[OnHarry]

I had my first experience sexually when I was a pre teen and it was with another guy, fondling, sucking etc. i have always been and still am horny whenever I am near a woman, but as an adult I often would masturbate to the idea of having sex with men.

I have not as yet experienced another man but you never know sooner or later I will. I think to a certain degre all people are to a greater or lessor extent bi whether male or female.

[Etoile]

I pretty much always knew. I was raised in a very liberal household, and when I became sexually aware in high school (I was a freshman at age 12), I had crushes on both boys and girls. Pretty much anybody who was remotely attractive and was also intelligent, I had a crush on! (Teachers excluded, though.) In college, I knew that I was queer, but I was semi-dating a guy for a while. When I met my girlfriend, though, that was when I knew I was definitely a dyke. It clicked so much more than any of my "semi-dating" ever had (and I'd only had two "semi-boyfriends" anyway).

[Queersetti]

Originally posted by Stuponfucious
I need some clarification on this. The question is when did one find out, not when did one become so.

So can you actually remember knowing you were gay since you were an infant?

To say that I always "knew" is to suppose that I always understood what "gayness" means, and of course, that is not the case. The point is that I no more consciously knew myself to be gay than a straight child would grasp what it meant to be straight. I only knew what it meant to be me,I had no frame of reference with which to categorize myself.

As I grew, I came to understand my sexuality, in a long and gradual process. There was no sudden moment of realization. I don't believe that there is for most gay people. The process is usually more one of acceptance than of revelation.

[geishaGirl]

I "realised" I was bisexual when my husband told me that he was bisexual. At first I didn't take his news so well (I thought he didn't want me anymore!) but then after I calmed down and we talked some more I had memories of things that I had just put down to an "interest" in women, nothing more.

I remembered that my first kiss had been with a girl, not a guy, and that I had blocked out this because I thought it was wrong to be with a woman. I also dismissed my finding women attractive and appealing physically as just that.

My husband and I then "played" with another couple who are friends of ours - I was so turned on by being with our female friend and she is now my girlfriend and I have feelings for her just like I would with a man.

[bi some, try so]

Sam: My first experience with anyone was when I was about 16. I was a typical horny teen and since I really couldn't get a girl to go pass 2nd base, I focused on a male classmate. We started wrestling and next thing you know, we were playing "catch the cock".

Cathy: I was a little slow starting out - later bloomer.
I had a few Boyfriends, but I never really even thought about the fair sex until college. I was really drunk one night and a sweet brunette introduced me to the joys of lady love. Evenually, we shared her boyfriend and I was hooked.

[KHAN-E]

My very first sexual experience, and my first orgasm, were literally at the hands of another girl, my older sister. Ever since that time I have found sexual pleasure with both men and women. It seems the natural way of life for me.

[Flight420]

first clue: at age 5 or 6 (+/-) I had 2 G.I. Joe dolls that "were very fond of each other"..

second clue: around age 9-12ish, I was the kid on the block trying to get the other boys to get nekkid with me.

final clue: discovered jacking off and imagined other boys jacking off too. (never did have a "mastur-buddy" to jack with.. dammit)


In high school I did date girls , went to dances and stuff like that but my heart was never in sync with my loins. At age 16 I finally had my first sex with a girl.. it was good I guess but I kept asking myself "where's the beef?". High School, for me, was 1977-1980 and the only images of gay guys were either the extreme Studio-54 gender-bender types (wasn't interested in that) or the people that Anita Bryant was obsessed with. What seems so dumb to me now is that I/We had NO CLUE that Freddie Mercury, or Rob Holford or David Bowie might possibly be gay... they were rock and rollers and should be able to get any chick they wanted? (regardless of how good/or bad looking they were). Anyone suspected of being gay was labeled as a "Practicing Homosexual"? (that term still cracks me up!). Eventually everything sortof worked itself out and I would soon actually go inside of that clandestine gay bar instead of sitting in the parking lot in my car too afraid to go in... I guess in the back of my mind I was afraid that the moment I walked through that door I would *poof* instantly turn into Charles Nelson Reilly or Quentin Crisp and have to flounce my way back home, sashay up to my parents and sing showtunes at them as they cried and cried in disbelief!

Of course, that did not occur, I became the epitome of 1980's "Castro Clone" and learned to suck cock with a purpose!

This, my friend, is how I knew I was a "mo". I will leave
out the sad stuff and the losses that occured along the way as
the 1980's become the 1990's and so forth. I stay thankful
for the friends that I had, the friends that I still have and that
my adult life has encompassed the few years that Ecstasy was
legal!!!! (and always verrrry good!.. wink wink!)

[slipperyshaft]

When I was in college I went to a huge frat party. There were a lot of guys and girls there. I had gotten pretty drunk and the next thing I know I was in a room with a couple of really hot chicks. We were laying on a bed and I was licking ones tits while the other was playing with my cock. I layed on my back for a minute and I noticed that the girl and some guy were both sucking on my cock. It felt so good that I didn't really care that a guy was there also. Then I felt my legs be lifted and a sensation of something being rubbed on my anus which also felt pretty good. Meanwhile the girl kept sucking on my cock and the next thing I felt was the guys cock penetrating my anus. At first it kinda hurt but after a few minutes it felt awsome. He was pumping away and she was sucking wildly, then all of a sudden the head of a very stiff cock entered between my lips. I started lashing my tongue all around the head of this guys shaft, then I took the entire thing into my mouth. My cock and the one in my mouth squirted our loads first. at this point my anus got real tight and this brought the cock in my ass to cum. I swallowed some of the cum in my mouth then I swapped cum with the girl that was sucking me. So I got to taste both my cum and some other guys cum. It was the most awesome sexual experience I ever had up to that time. And ever since I crave for a cock in my ass and in my mouth

[Etoile]

You've told the same story elsewhere on this board, but you didn't mention that you felt it made you bisexual. Did you really not have any curiosity about sex with men before this incident? Many straight men seem to be insecure about their sexuality and would shove away a man trying to have sex with them. Alternatively, were you on E at the time?

[Street Mystic]

Originally posted by Etoile
Many straight men seem to be insecure about their sexuality and would shove away a man trying to have sex with them.

I'd always been curious, but I was from that blue collar roman catholic world where it was better to be a bomb-throwing commie hippy than some "dirty fucking faggot." (idle curiousity - growing up, I wasn't much into football and usually wound up reading or wandering while the whole world it seemed watched the game. and i remember that the fact i didn't like football made me suspect, i.e. "whatta you, some kinda fairy you don't like football?" Yet, when you think about it, men being obsessed with watching large, burly men wearing tight pants piling onto each other for four hours seems a bit more "faggy" than reading a novel by the creek, doesn't it?)

The thing was, I was also way into girls so there was a bit of a conflict, especially since it seemed the world was either gay or straight and you were one or the other. (even now, the bi label gets flak from both sides - "hurry up, pick a side!" ...)

i remember sneaking peeks in the locker room and feeling guilty about it, then running home to whack off to naked babes just to prove there was nothing "wrong" with me.. I'd whack off to porno mags, penthouse letters magazine in particular. (even then i loved erotica) there was a section called "Boy Meets Boy," and guys wrote in about their homosexual experiences. now, because it was smack dab in the middle of various hetero and lesbian sections of letters, (i.e. sexual adventures that normal red-blooded straight american males are permitted to fantasize aout) i'd "glance" through it and eventually, when the mood struck, i'd read and fantasize and wax the carrot... (always making sure to keep that section pristine in case the mags were discovered so that way nobody know..."uh, yeah, I'd rip that fag section out but it would ruin the magazine... didn't know it was even there til i got it home...") and then feel guilty and double dose on trailer trash getting buttfucked or those lonely coed roommates who's inhibitions left when the wine ran down...

the first time was with a friend, and it even seemed like a joke at the time. out bar-hopping, winding up at his place, shot down by women everywhere, we were drinking beer and watching some lame-o porn tape. he started jerking off and said something like "hey dude, feel free. just don't ruin the couch." so i took my cock out and started bopping, but i found myself watching him and not the tape. he noticed, and it was one of those back & forth "why don't you suck it, gayboy?" "fuck you fag, why don't you suck mine?" i wanted to, but i wasn't sure if he was serious and damn sure didn't want to get blasted as a "faggot" ("see that, marge, I told ya the boy was a fruit. He never liked football!") after all, we were real men ... we fucked women, shot guns and drove fast cars... but, long story short, us real men ended up in a sixty-nine on the living room floor, and by morning, i knew exactly why girls screamed in agony every time i tried to get into their asses...

turned out he was more experienced than me (we were both the same age) and the "drunk guy jerking off" routine was just to see if something might develop... if not, it was "man, i was sooooo drunk last night, i can barely remember even getting home. how did i even get to bed?"

but... it was and is a sometime thing.... i noticed that i have "phases" of wanting men and not wanting them, though at the same time, I always want women. it was like i had to be in a certain mood to fuck men. if given a choice between one or the other (and "threesome" not on the ballot) I would go for the woman everytime. i've never had a boyfriend, nor did i ever want one (i can barely manage my hetero relationships...) everybody was always just a fuck-buddy, so i often wonder if i'm more turned on by the sex than i am by other men.

[bytor2112]

i was butt fucking some dude in the shower and i reached around and felt his cock...he had a hard on..fucking queer...

[Street Mystic]

Originally posted by Street Mystic turned out he was more experienced than me (we were both the same age) and the "drunk guy jerking off" routine was just to see if something might develop... if not, it was "man, i was sooooo drunk last night, i can barely remember even getting home. how did i even get to bed?" [/b]

reading that does remind me of a penthouse letter. Actually, there was more to it than that... a lot more ... though that was the gist... two morons trying to figure out if they were going to get laid or beat up...

but thank god for the internet. it's a hell of a lot easier to hook up than it was when it was just "hmmm, is this person what i think they are?" and, "uh, should i make a move or will i get horribly and embarrassingly rejected..." especially if you're not into the club or street scene, or even move within certain circles.

[Reshbod]

I never really thought about being with a man much until fairly recently. I did have a couple of dreams where I was with a man, but those were rare and the most that happened was a hand job, I believe.

The last couple of years, men have been turning up in my dreams and daydreams more and more often. If women do appear in my fantasies of late, they are back ground characters.

Unfortunately, to date, I have never had the chance to be with a man. Hopefully that will change soon. I don't think I am gay, I do adore women, though if I meet the right man???

[jaded_lily]

i've been attracted to same sex since i was about 16, made getting ready for gym class uncomfortable for me, because i didn't really understand what was going on, ya know.



i didn't have my first encounter til about a month or so ago and even then i didn't do anything just laid there like a board or something, kinda amazed, kinda freaked out, kinda really turned on, and kinda uncomfortable.



would i do it again, most definately, i'm just not sure of what to do or anything.