Spiderman 2 Blows Giant Monkey Chunks (Spoilers and Shit)

SPM2 was horrible. OK, not George Clooney as Batman horrible, but it was a huge letdown. Why? Because several people I knew and trusted that had seen it (Amelia, MedJay, I'm talking to you) said it was very good and some (Amelia) had even seen it twice. And they have the audacity to advertise it as the "best reviewed movie of the summer." Horrible.

Here's why:

1) Spiderman looks really dumb when he takes to webslinging through Manhattan. I thought after the bad CGI of the first one they'd have fixed it. Nope, looks about the same.

2) Action, where for art thou? Sam Raimi has directed some pretty good action films including the best superhero movie ever (Darkman). But in this one he lets characters like Aunt Mae go on knowingly forever about responsibility. His buddy won't shut up about his father getting killed by Spiderman. Really?

3) Unfinished plot points. Spiderman lets his aunt get kicked out of his her house without trying to come up with a scheme to come up with the money? Say what? He's supposed to take care of her, he's admitted to a role in his uncle's death yet he's not gonna try to keep her in the house his uncle built? Jeez...

4) Phil Lamar (the black guy from Mad TV and dead Marvin in Pulp Fiction). He's standing there for what seems like an eternity without a line, just another extra on the torn up train. It's weird to see someone you recognize and expect them to say something, yet...nothing.

5) Kirsten Dunst looks awful. Other than the wedding scene she's purposely doggish. Can someone explain what this purpose was? And this coming from someone who likes her as an actress and sex object.

6) Dr. Octopus was cool looking and well acted. Unfortunately he had giant man tits. No, not the macho Fabio kind of man tits but floppy milky teats. Is there ever a doubt he's gonna lose to young and buff Spidey?

7) It was boring and long. Remember the Saturday morning cartoon? Ever picked up a Spiderman comic? You do? Well then there's no need to check out Spidey 2.

8) Predictable. In the scene where Dr. Octopus decides to try out his new invention I predicted aloud the death of his over confident wife.

Don't be afraid to add your own...

I thought I was the only one who was extremely unimpressed with Spiderman 2. And I love Sam Raimi too. The only part that I liked was when Sam acted like the visionary director he is and made that kick-ass hospital scene.

What was the whole point of that Russian girl and having her eat cake with Peter? She never had any lines, nothing happens with her, and her screen time is deemed pointless since Peter hooks up with Mary Jane.

I hated the Aunts speech. She could have summed up her point in 50 words, but she went on for 2 minutes.

the green goblin's son is the worst actor and how many times do we have to see him look angry, be drunk, and curse spideman?

it felt anti-climactic at the end. and the scene on the train where everyone is like "you have to get through me, a tough new yorker, to get to spiderman you big meanie doc ock!" was retarded.

I've said it before, I'll say it again...I went to see Spider-Man 2 and saw Peter Parker 2 instead.

i hope in the next spiderman they'll include venom or carnage, that would fucking rock.

TANG GOD said:

i hope in the next spiderman they'll include venom or carnage, that would fucking rock.

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Next one is supposed to be Hobgoblin then Venom.

I knew things were gonna be bad when

-my friends had told me to keep my eye open for Bruce Campbell's part because is was hilarious...it wasn't...and I love Bruce more then my own mother.

and yeah
CGi spiderman looks fake, too fluid, too I dunno how to put it, polished? shiny? just not REAL. They either should have used camera tricks and always used a real human or have called WETA of Gollum fame and had them do the Cgi.

This has been a very disappointing summer for movies.

JohnnyA said:

I thought I was the only one who was extremely unimpressed with Spiderman 2. And I love Sam Raimi too. The only part that I liked was when Sam acted like the visionary director he is and made that kick-ass hospital scene.

What was the whole point of that Russian girl and having her eat cake with Peter? She never had any lines, nothing happens with her, and her screen time is deemed pointless since Peter hooks up with Mary Jane.

I hated the Aunts speech. She could have summed up her point in 50 words, but she went on for 2 minutes.

the green goblin's son is the worst actor and how many times do we have to see him look angry, be drunk, and curse spideman?

it felt anti-climactic at the end. and the scene on the train where everyone is like "you have to get through me, a tough new yorker, to get to spiderman you big meanie doc ock!" was retarded.

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I forgot about the hospital scene. Good stuff. But yeah, what was the deal with the Russian chick, shouldn't she have gotten killed or complicated matters or something? She's a brand name actress yet their relationship and the rent thing never go anywhere. I thought for sure he would have figured out a way to get out of rent through her.

It's weird, but when we left the theatre everyone seemed un-juiced about what they'd just seen. What are the critics talking about? Are these the same ones who went crazy over The Hulk?

Wilben said:

Next one is supposed to be Hobgoblin then Venom.

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god damn!!!
that fucking sucks.
Hobgoblin, greenGoblin, demogoblin...i hate all the goblins and the rest of the 70 comic villians.
carnage and venom are fucking more hardcore and badder than the rest of them gay cross dressing characters.

I thought the Hulk was vile trash. I loved Spider-Man 2.

Never said:

I thought the Hulk was vile trash. I loved Spider-Man 2.

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Please tell me why.

I love Carnage and Venom! any villian that kills a little girl by squeezing her head so tight that it pops like a zit is Ok in my book.

That sounds so bad...and it is....because they are VILLANS. I want a unforgiving, horrifiying, R-Rated villian. That's why only venom or carnage will do for Spidey 3

They'll never make an R rated superhero movie that they intend to gross over 150 mill with.

Which also brings me back to this one. What the fuck was with everyone getting killed and maimed yet no one bleeding? Not a drop. Fucking weird.

Originally posted by Marxist
1) Spiderman looks really dumb when he takes to webslinging through Manhattan. I thought after the bad CGI of the first one they'd have fixed it. Nope, looks about the same.

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No it doesn't. It looks better.

2) Action, where for art thou? Sam Raimi has directed some pretty good action films including the best superhero movie ever (Darkman). But in this one he lets characters like Aunt Mae go on knowingly forever about responsibility. His buddy won't shut up about his father getting killed by Spiderman. Really?

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It had enough action. I'm tired of so-called action films that are all spectacle and no character development. If you wanted a superhero movie with wall to wall stunts and little to no emotional value there are plenty to choose from. Spiderman dares to be different by presenting characters you just might give a shit about.

4) Phil Lamar (the black guy from Mad TV and dead Marvin in Pulp Fiction). He's standing there for what seems like an eternity without a line, just another extra on the torn up train. It's weird to see someone you recognize and expect them to say something, yet...nothing.

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My buddy was an extra in that same scene. He was wondering too what Lamar was doing there. Maybe he just needed a quick check. Or maybe he just didn't have anything better to do. (If you notice, Joy Bryant was an extra too, though she did get one line.)

5) Kirsten Dunst looks awful. Other than the wedding scene she's purposely doggish. Can someone explain what this purpose was? And this coming from someone who likes her as an actress and sex object.

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I dunno, dude. Kirsten Dunst is godawful ugly to me. I never liked her for the role. As far as I'm concerned they did the best job they could making her look good. And she's still homely.

6) Dr. Octopus was cool looking and well acted. Unfortunately he had giant man tits. No, not the macho Fabio kind of man tits but floppy milky teats. Is there ever a doubt he's gonna lose to young and buff Spidey?

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I assumed you'd find more trouble with the fact that Spiderman delivers numerous blows to his face that should have left his jaw shattered and hanging like a sock full of marbles. Having super tentacles doesn't make your jaw impervious to the two-ton-pressure blows Spiderman can dish out.

7) It was boring and long. Remember the Saturday morning cartoon? Ever picked up a Spiderman comic? You do? Well then there's no need to check out Spidey 2.

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No, it was engaging and well paced. And anyone who has read a Spiderman comic is more than familiar with overlong prose and long stretches of exposition.

8) Predictable. In the scene where Dr. Octopus decides to try out his new invention I predicted aloud the death of his over confident wife.

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Well, yeah. . . I really didn't expect to be caught off guard by any plot twists. Especially a plot based on stories older than I am. If you want fresh and new you'll probably have to look for a movie that doesn't feature characters with backstories that are now part of common folklore.

All in all, you're just nitpicking and only a soulless, curmudeonly bastard could dislike this movie.

I liked it, I thought it was great.

The only thing I agree with you on was the predictability. The trailors gave away too much information. Most trailors give you the first 30 minutes or so. I was wondering the whole movie, "When is he going to stop being Spider Man?" Didnt happen until past the halfway point of the movie.

I think Shrek II was the best movie of the summer thus far, not Spider Man II.

Think I am going to agree with Medjay.

I saw it last weekend and absolutely loved it.

Not sure if i would say it was better than the first, but damn it was good.

Yes Venom is the best villian, but they can;t really introduce him without the black-suited spidey.

You know, the one he got while helping basically every other superhero in the universe, defeat Thanatos an the Infinity Gauntlet?

The one he synthasized on another planet out of living biological material to replace his torn up one?

Going to be interesting to see how they bring it up (if they do) since i don;t think it is in the X-Men's contract to do a bit part in a movie.... or if Silver Surfer, Captain America, Captain Universe, Doc Strange.... hell you get the idea.

Oh and as for Spiderman 2 .... i enjoyed it

Spiderman 2 all the way!

Even though there was only one black guy in there. Oh well that was an improvement from the first movie...

I see Medjay left #3 completely out. Why? Because it's unexplainable. And they aren't minor points in a movie that's supposedly more about character than other superheroes.

And you're trying to tell me you enjoyed Aunt Mae's and the Goblin son's 5 minute prattles?

The reason dialogue exists in an action movie is either to advance the plot or reveal insight into the characters. Aunt Mae taught me that the screenwriters and more importantly the editors were confused about what direction the movie should take.

Marxist said:

3) Unfinished plot points. Spiderman lets his aunt get kicked out of his her house without trying to come up with a scheme to come up with the money? Say what? He's supposed to take care of her, he's admitted to a role in his uncle's death yet he's not gonna try to keep her in the house his uncle built? Jeez....[/B]

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that's why they're having spiderman 3: saving aunt may's house

JohnnyA said:

What was the whole point of that Russian girl and having her eat cake with Peter? She never had any lines, nothing happens with her, and her screen time is deemed pointless since Peter hooks up with Mary Jane.

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It's all about character development. In Spiderman we have a character who is conflicted about his identity and pining for a woman he cannot have. When he sheds his hero alter-ego he becomes immersed in the real, everyday world where he lives his life and gets hit on by the girl next door. It doesn't matter whether he hooks up with her or not, that isn't the point. The point is showing how his life could possibly change if he chooses to continue along that path.

I find it ironic that people would complain about elements of the film that make it more human and common. Especially since I'm willing to bet you'd be complaining just as much if Raimi had presented us with a film that was all flash, loud noises, special effects and zero emotional involvement with the characters. At least, I'd be complaining. I've had enough flash and lack of substance this summer.

it felt anti-climactic at the end. and the scene on the train where everyone is like "you have to get through me, a tough new yorker, to get to spiderman you big meanie doc ock!" was retarded.

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Wow. You seem to forget this film is based on a comic book. A medium which is known for corniness. Blow the dust off a few of your old Marvel comics and you'll find dialogue and situations much more cheesy than the train scene.

CGi spiderman looks fake, too fluid, too I dunno how to put it, polished? shiny? just not REAL. They either should have used camera tricks and always used a real human or have called WETA of Gollum fame and had them do the Cgi.

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Are you being serious? Camera tricks with a real human? Just what athlete or gymnast would be capable of doing the types of stunts we see in this picture? Trust me, if they had gone that route there would have been scores of moviegoes leaving out of the theatre disappointed because they still haven't seen Spiderman do any of the stuff he does on paper. James Cameron scrapped his Spiderman movie in the early 90s because the technology wasn't advanced enough for him to do it right. If he had gone ahead, all he would have had to show for it would have been yet another mediocre adaptation. Even taking into account the drawbacks of CGI, Raimi has still managed to create a film that is as true to the comic as it can possibly be.

I'm getting the idea that some people don't like plot elements left unaddressed by a movie.

Jeez, that would make Lord of the Rings a bad movie.

And I see why many people didn't go for Babylon 5 either...

Marxist said:

I see Medjay left #3 completely out. Why? Because it's unexplainable. And they aren't minor points in a movie that's supposedly more about character than other superheroes.

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I left out point #3 because it was the nitpickiest of the bunch and I didn't feel like bothering with it. If you want to talk about flawed motivatonal logic, how about the fact that in the comics Peter Parker was brilliant enough to invent a chemical that totally mimics the characteristics of spider webs, starts out as a liquid and becomes solid when it hits the air, has the tensile strength of steel, is sticky and maliable, and decomposes after a few hours. Not only that, he also designed a device that could shoot said substance from his wrists at amazing velocities! You're telling me that a person that smart is trying to eek out a living as a photojournalist and not making top dollar working for NASA?!?!

The filmmakers cleverly avoided this brainteaser by making his webs organic. I think the mysteries of Aunt May's home financing pale in comparison.

The reason dialogue exists in an action movie is either to advance the plot or reveal insight into the characters.

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Whenever a movie uses dialogue simply to advance the plot, it's usually a stupid a tedious film. Creating dialogue for the sake of moving the plot from point A to point B and/or revealing generic character insight is just lazy composition and they'll teach you that in any screenwriting class. Typically, when you find a movie that relies on this technique, you have a shrill, obnoxious film with no heart or soul. I can think of several that fall into that category. Are you sure you wanted the characters in Spiderman to talk like those in The Mummy or Bad Boys 2? Those are just the first that came to mind but I think you get the idea.

Obviously some people don't like their action/comic book movies to have a brain and a heart.
Personally, I like both kinds. The dumb, fun ones and the smart, nicer ones.

Lasz said:

I think Shrek II was the best movie of the summer thus far, not Spider Man II.

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Please step away from the crack pipe. It's for your own good.

Was Omorosa from The Apprentice on the train, too?

one of the last scenes, when spiderman saves MJ from the warehouse on the water- spiderman just latches his magic webs onto nothing and goes! nothing! ugggg