Old 08-09-2004, 02:34 PM   #101
Maria2394
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more new poems :)

New Poems

Just This, by echoes_s

...
she is innocent
i cry,
four bared walls,
pains reflection off tears,
nails grasped to stain
splinter new grain into wood...


and The storm has some excellent descriptions and observations, you write so well echoes, always a pleasure to read you

echoes shows us how she works her word magic in this piece, in fact, she has several today, but I liked these the best, so the rest of you all, readem, vote and send FB

~~~


revolving door, by tungtied2u, is a look at apathy and fear, ( I think) and its always been my observation that the dreading of something, is always worse than the outcome....
~~~

Tasting, by Substance, is a delicious short erotic poem, read, taste and enjoy

~~~

The senses of Salt, by PatCarrington is just a beautiful, well written wonderful piece of storytelling in poetry form, read this one, taste the salt, feel the wind, its there

... hear the whimpers of his rods
as they go crying through the night,
ropes in knots that smell
of shipwrecks, tears of oceans
as they wet and whip his hair...


~~~

Once and Now, by Angeline, is a stunning, slightly cynical take on the fairy tale condition, I never really believed in Prince Charming anyway, this is some of ange's finer work, I truly enjoyed this read,

...Night must be enough
happily ever after
because it absents the day,
because we are grateful
for hours that skirt
the edge of memory,
because night is neverland,
knitting a cloak of quiet
against uncertainty...


~~~

Writen in Haste on Napkin, by no bagles, well, it starts out like an angry ramble then turns into a love poem!! what can I say, I love the way this guy writes, I really do. I would make one suggestion, maybe add an S to crumble? I know it was written in haste, on a napkin, no less, but that one word stumbled me a tad

...I kneel to mould
from your imprints
in sand
or in mud
replicas
in gold
of your pure
perfection
more wondrous
than fiction...


~~~

Left Behind, by bluerains is a short poem, contemplating the fate of a ghost left behind. I had that experience once, when we moved here, we tried to get out ghost to come with us, but she either wouldnt, or couldnt. I like this poem, blue, very good work

~~~

still they are gone, by annaswirls


... below river-bed deep in silent labor
lifting rocks rebuilding storm-worn banks
filling hollows unable to stop our attempts
...

anna can switch for tease, to temptress to serious as all get out and I like when she throws me something i dont always get on first read. This poem sort of like that
~~~

Sierra Rose this poem, is so filled with emotion I felt my heart drop at the end, wow, it left me feeling and I love that feeling. Excellent work, DA,

~~~~

well if I had to pick a favorite, I couldnt do it, so I wont even try. I thought I was stuck with 4 audio poems today that I couldnt even hear and then got so many wonderful pieces to read. I truly enjoy this when there is so much to choose from sooo, if I missed any that need a mention, feel free, as always, I am not perfect and do not strive to be, I am maria, and I am, just me

happy writing Poets, and have a lovely day!~! xoxoxoxoxo
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Old 08-10-2004, 08:44 AM   #102
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Tuesday 8/10/04

This will be done in spurts ( so to speak) as my workload allows.
Just skimming through there looks to be some great stuff today.

Lets begin shall we??



Saying Goodbye - LadyCibelle

Quote:
"Look after yourself "
should have been
"I love you!"
This stanza speaks volumes to me.
sometimes it's manners, or shyness, or fear, but nothing haunts the soul like a last chance to say what you feel...and not doing it.
A beautiful poem of love and sadness and regret.
Read it and remember the next time you have to say goodbye.




low branch arsenic - annaswirls

Quote:
no one ever really mentions it
but I bet somewhere down there
he probably thought those boys really liked him, you know
anna never fails to move, amaze,confuse, or tickle me.
This poem , one of her more straight forward pieces, is a powerful piece.
Sharp images, great language and not a word wasted tell a vivid tale of illicit sex in a small town
That last line brings the sadness home with a bang.
A must read.

anna also brings us
finger-twisted black wire

I won't post a quote because it has to be read in context.
I love this poem
How a phone cord can become an umbilical cord, a railway, and transfer love , dreams , and journeys for two people to share.
A very tender tale of souls connecting long distance.


Dawing - Angeline

This is a dense, rich poem..it requires a few readings to soak it all in.
As always with Ange's work, it is worth it.
Quote:
Those Fates are fickle ones,
bubble bubble, rack and ruin
stand in the shadow of trouble,
and the rubble of plans drive
you something soon, but wax
who else could string together images and internal rhymes like that?
Take your time
Read this line by line...Go back, and do it again.

Big Bang - tungtied2u
I included this because it's so clever and uses some great word play to describe the ultimate " big bang'
Check it out

traveling, drinking, dancing- Randi Grail

Perhaps my favorite of the day.
it screams of youth and freedom and life as it is meant to be...enjoyed.
Quote:
I drank the sun
like milk
like ambrosia
or like fridge cold Coke
after dust hours
wearing rural patience thin

and this
Quote:
I laughed October out of Prague
Sunday out of Belfast
eternity out of Vienna
and raised a Havana dry voice
to call down heaven
or him to a dance

I wish i could print the whole poem here.
The images are brilliant, the language fresh fruit ripe,
the mood exuberant and care free.
It makes me want to travel to distant lands, drink wine, and dance on cobblestones or beaches, with the locals.
I wish Randi would write more often.
I would have given this an "E"
and I'm ready to pack a bag and travel anywhere with Randi
A Must Read

Ok work calls
back later

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Old 08-10-2004, 10:06 AM   #103
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tuesday 8/10 cont..

shopping for dinner in America - Maria2394

Quote:
I wondered if those women are concerned with onions or politicians,
we are alike, in at least one respect
is anything more important
than feeding our children?
Maria gives us a glimpse inside her head while shopping for fruits and veggies.
And, not surprisingly, a lot more goes on in there than one imagines.




salty-eagleyez

Quote:
The bay eventually
thins out
to sloughs
and saltflats
appear
under airline window
overviews,
Having grown up near mashes and rivers and the ocean this stanza painted an immediate picture in my mind.

some great images finish off this glimpse at , perhaps, a lone man fishing off a bridge in New England.



Fanfares In Manstain--jd4george

Quote:
Listening to Aaron Copeland's
Fanfare for the Common Man
I have mixed feelings about this.
Perhaps if I could read it while listening to it, it would be more...captivating.
As it is there are some nice images and repetition of themes...but if you don't know the music I'm not sure it works.
where as with jazz or blues you can almost talk the beat with playful words...to capture Copeland's intensity and rhythm would require more than :
Quote:
Drum sounds:

Boom
Boom
Boom ticka rapparappatat
Boom ticka rapparappatat
Boom
Boom
I'd like to see the drum sounds described and tied into the visuals in some way.
combining this with the " pull" stanza that follows might work.
It is an interesting piece...I'd love to see it reworked a bit.



Butterflies- JCStreet

Quote:
(based on an original idea by Perks—August 8, 2004)
Mr Carl can write a epic, a sonnet, a travelogue, and here proves he can write a delightful light piece and still get you to think at the same time.
It's short, sweet, funny, and poignant.
Read it twice

ok
back to work again

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Old 08-10-2004, 11:34 AM   #104
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Tuesday 8/10...the home stretch

untied- flyguy69

something sensual about this short POV of a bowtie.
I liked it.

evening- poetboy824

Great metaphors and a beautiful final stanza.
You can see the whole evening sky in this with 3 simple colors.
Quite a trick.


Static Escape -*Catbabe*

Quote:
Right now she just holds my spot,
in this world,
I am in my pen, on the page,
writing in a surge of me that
quiets questions of who I want to be
living my truth in fabrication
Catbabe takes us on a morning commute..and shows us how ,with a pen and a notebook , she leaves the train and travels to her destination on another plane or train, as it were.
I could relate to this very well.



On the corner of Market & India - jd4george

Quote:
a twisted neon sign
ribbons the building's edge
spitting light at the night
through missing letter teeth
unaware of its halo
flashing disjointed memories
A powerful, multi-layered piece that tells of the ageless sidewalks of New York, where scores of immigrants came to start new lives.
Some fantastic images...my only complaint..
( I know..I'm being nit picky)
It needed to be broken up a little.
It's too rich to read without a pause
A break here or there would let some of the images and thoughts sink in.
great writing none the less


Ok
That's it for me
There were some great poems today
these are just the ones that caught my eye.
Go through and read them all, as I did, and feel free to recommend any that you feel I've overlooked.

Remember, just because I didn't mention it..doesn't mean it's not good.
Some people like ice cream...some people like sherbet
Be Well All
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Old 08-11-2004, 12:01 PM   #105
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Wednesday, August 11, Reviews...

It's my first time in my Wednesdays slot so if you didn't intend for me to look at or mention your poem today then... tuff titty

22-ish poems hit the New Poems page, all of which were great reads with my morning coffee. These are the ones that caught my ever philandering eye:



For The Old Woman by WickedEve ©

Is an offbeat write with a lyrical sound that may or may not be distrubing—depending on one's interpretation.
Quote:
Reanimated bones.
Lackadaisy, less and less.
Bones, bones, brittle bones.
Talented tibias, Miss Patella.
Inner Me by Remec ©
Great little poem with an excellent metaphor and allusion.
Quote:
I listen.
I brood.
I seethe like an unwatched pot.
momentary goddess by poetboy824
Although this poem was placed in the non-erotic category, it does have a understated sexiness to it. Thanks, I enjoyed the view before going to work.
Quote:
train
early morning
to work

a glimpse
up high
balcony
Mt. Olympus
just a t-shirt
watering flowers

her
bare
legs

Aphrodite
In The Night Garden by eclipsedgirl ©
A first showing from this poet and an excellent offering it was with stanzas like this:
Quote:
His ivory thorn, sharp, biting
A life-tinted rose
Harvested in the night garden

Ebb and flow, watered by tears
Nourished in sleep, in darkness
She rises with the moon

In Therbacious armastice by annaswirls ©
To be a weed in Anna's garden is to win a stay of execution. I feel that way about ants and have wee bit of remorse after I step on them (Except fire ants—I go out of my way to light them up.)


When I Sigh by *Catbabe* ©
Aww… Catbabe—this is a sweet erotic poem. I enjoyed the snap-shot image you embedded in this.


Flower Moon by Angeline ©
This poem is Full Moon challenge. It reminds of me of home, but has a '40s feel to it. Smooth
Quote:
Moon moans.

Wish on jazz.
She loves me,
she loves me not.
She dances,
she dances bop,
uncurls, spoons
into later bliss.

O kiss the night,
jazz moon.
Soft tenor.
Petal kiss.

That's it Poets—my most humble opinion for today of what I thought was good poetry. So I encourage you all to spread your opinions too by commenting, mentioning and voting on the New Poems page. Remember... support your own kind.


- neo

Last edited by neonurotic : 08-11-2004 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 08-14-2004, 06:40 PM   #106
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Saturday August 14

First let me say this is even scarier than posting your first poem,
so please don't jump my ass too bad.
Liar is the normal Saturday reviewer, and he seems to still be having way too much fun, so I thought I'd take a stab at a few poems I really liked.
I'm not sure how to post the link, so you'll have to visit the new poems posting the old fashioned way to read them.

Here goes:

neonurotic gives us "Eve's Red Shoes", a good humored look at a predicament many may have found ourselves in, listening in pretense to a friend's woes while wanting to bang their brains out.
But her blouse is too tight
and neckline too low
to hold my attention elsewhere

It comes complete with Eve's own av-itself conflicted- and as we all know Eve's av's are reason enough to visit this post.
Neo also gives us "Back to the Bayou". A wonderfully moody visit to the backwater swamps in search of ..what else...an evening to remember. Great atmosphere. Will have you swatting mosquitoes.

Next- annaswirls' "butterfly tattoo". A lament regarding the effects of motherhood on the body.

she is smiling
without the slightest premonition
of how her low rise butterfly tattoo
will metamorphosize,

Just a tease- great use of imagery. As always, enigmatic.


Wicked Eve's "Pressing Flesh" wraps around itself.
Short , but blunt and forceful. Read it.



My favorite read of the day- Denis Hale's "Cold Comfort".
This poem has it all, tongue in cheek, finger in face, no holds barred, this is how it is motherfucker writing.
I laughed, I cried, I read it again and again. You will too.
A taste:

and there is
the Jackie O-looking
black belt businesswoman
with a wrist-lock
on the would-be
Rastafarian purse snatcher,

flinging him face-first
into a parking meter

like one of those
fake wrestlers rattling
the turnbuckle

This poem steams like a locomotive.

Well that's my take. I know I haven't mentioned some good, possibly great poems. Take up my slack, please. If I can sit up here and look like an idiot, so can you.

Read, vote and comment. Thanks for your ear.


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Old 08-14-2004, 07:22 PM   #107
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New Poems 12-13

Okay, I forgot to do the 12th. I can't seem to remember that Thursday is my day. Friday the 13th was Liar's day, but he's on vacation and I guess no one was covering for him. Though, being a Liar, was he really on vacation? Makes you wonder... hmmm... So, I'll look through the poems for the 12th and 13th and make some recommendations for my forgotten Thursday. I'll also try to mention some for Friday. Don't be shy about jumping in and helping out.

~~~~~~~~~~

The 12th has a pussy poem that seems to be a crowd pleaser.

My Pussy is a Porsche
by Willow Rain ©

I love the station wagons,
Sexy fingers, pressing four deep,
Ready to take the thumb.
Looking at that, you want to push their hand away
And feel the hot wet open comfort, tight around your own hand
It’s a delicious thing.
The hotness of that kind of pussy,
Sweet and wet.


Willow Rain writes about station wagons, Hondas, etc. I'm still trying to figure out what mine is. I like to think it's a yacht or private jet, maybe even a space shuttle.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Color of Women
by PatCarrington ©

who, with the measure and melody
of their love as night painted them
in moonlight
and drew them to my bed
shaded in the hues of evening and need,


Literotica does have its share of poetry about women, and much of it is not very flattering, but I was delighted with The Color of Women.

This poem has already been kissed by the H. So, if you've missed it, quickly click on the link: read, vote, comment.

~~~~~~~~~~

Geezer Man Says
by jd4george ©

pot roast ain't
red meat
fucking assholes don't
know a fucking thing


You will regret missing out on Geezer! It has an H and for good reason. Hurry on over to Geezer and give it a read.

~~~~~~~~~~

I want to recommend one more. This is my pick for the 12th. There are more good poems, so please check them out if you haven't. Do not miss this one, please.

Another Time, Place
by James Kirkland ©

“Did you see,” Mac is unwrapping
an unwelcome thought, “the way Harding
took it through the helmut? It spun around
and spat out, right in his messkit,
‘ping’, like a tooth.
And old Harding, he just sits and stares,
Like he’s thinking ‘bout where he put his spoon.”


~~~~~~~~~~
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Old 08-16-2004, 10:51 AM   #108
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Sunday 8-15

death is a party favor
by DeepAsleep ©
look, tomorrow's
bad, what about friday?"

"naw," he says,
passing me the bottle
and putting his hands
on his clacky-clack knees
which pop when he
stands up
because death is an old,
old creaking man.
"naw, i'll just knock
on the next door
down."


Death is like an college buddy or that guy you worked with about 10 or 20 years ago. He shows up on your doorstep, talks about old times, then asks for a favor.

~~~~~

so many days
by Syndra Lynn ©
birdseed spills dry
from limp neck of a dove


Overall, very good poem, with some nice imagery like the lines above.

~~~~~

Athena Dawn
by Randi Grail ©
so I sit beside
and await the whirl
just a tired old man
and a silent girl


Nice poem. Worth a read.

~~~~~

Alison
by DeepAsleep ©
alison was skinny,
but strong,
the velvet kind
of girl with
barely padded
muscles that
flex real hard
when they come
jumping out at you
like they want to tear
through the skin
and slap you around
for startling them.


Love the poem, hate the line breaks.

~~~~~

so i can rest my elbow on her hip
by DeepAsleep ©
so I can rest my elbow
on her hipbone
and nestle my hand
between her small
breasts and sleepy
slip
into warm dreams
that smell like
the lotion she
rubs on her legs
after a shower.


Another good poem by DA, with odd line breaks.

~~~~~

watchclock hospital
by DeepAsleep ©
back in the room we
say our goodbyes
and i make sure
to get the
clock's
phone number,
because i
want to know if
he's free for
drinks on friday.


It's time to read about the clock. Enjoyable poem.

~~~~~

Windy Day
by Belegon ©
Words of description
Catch in my throat
For fear that to voice them
Will spoil the magic
Chase away the perfection


A very lovely nature poem.

~~~~~

Pixelated
by neonurotic ©
Image sharp and clear
click, click
zoom in, 5:1
pixelated hues


Brief but very nice and interesting. Take a moment to read the entire poem.

~~~~~

Carolina Beach Music
by sandspike ©

nasty poem:

"Miss Grace",
"Meet Me With Your Black Drawers On".
"Get On Up", "Drive it Home",
"All My Hard Times",
"Easy Going Out, Hard Coming In".
"Sixty Minuute Man"
"Searching For Your Love",
"Baby Let Me Bang Your Box".


You have to check this poem out simply because it demands attention.

~~~~~
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Old 08-16-2004, 01:49 PM   #109
Maria2394
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Monday New Poems

There aren't many New Poems so theres no excusenot to read them all!! vote and comment as well, of course, if you so desire

~~~~~

Tathagata gives us an audio poem that has already gotten an H!!! I cant listen to it, but the words are woth that H and even more, fabulous job Tath!!

Mazatlan

~~~~

Reach okay, its a love poem, so what, I liked it, its real and its simple, and writing is therapeutic and dk533 expresses the sentiment very well

~~~~

Hands across dark waters by Tarablackwood22.

wow, I know why she pulled her poems, but this just makes me wish she hadn't even more! What poor soul has suffered the torment of war and loneliness enough to deserve the heartfelt poem of this angel, is lucky indeed to have her spread her poetic wings for him.

...where girls without legs
and blinded boys, victims
of occupation and bad will hunting,
accepted his silent prayers
of apology
and handed him back his soul..


READ this, you'll probably be sorry if you dont

~~~~
Brothers on the Crossed Hill by PatCarrington... what do I say about a piece like this? It is filled with fresh new language, uses a flurry of images to keep the reader pulled in...another must read

...where fathers of fathers are boxed,
winding the crazy clock that punishes
your summer words, cracking
the whips of winter on your tongue...


~~~~~

He Loves Polly, by Dustystar. OKay, he loves Polly, I love this poem. Its sort of silly, but sinister and dustystar has a way of just using her language to wrap me around her pinky finger, love this poem DS, good work

~~~~

Chambers Street, by angeline is great!! I feel like I just stepped in Hells Kitchen and had the most amazing slice of pizza. Excellente` Ange, really good writing

...
JP brings me Italian nougat candy,
and Andy the retired strong man,
the carny, has two yellow teeth,
and can tear a Manhattan phone book
in half, lift a kitchen chair
with two fingers...


~~~~~

Hands Feel Your Poetry Burning, by Liar, I agree, probably would have been great in the erotic category as well

...I knew you would choose your blues
for this karaoke kick with too much care.
It is open night on spit, and the mike
that is my perception, erect, anticipating
your growl and grip, is primed for action.
Satisfaction is a deepthroat grunt
of passing thresholds unknown to science...


somehow this seems a bit different for Liar, but still has his burning wit and ache of strong poetics lunging at the reader, I like this one, a lot

and another by Liar,belonging to a constant

...and the absolute impenetrable silence
when midnight stilled the flies
and heaven sighed in doldrum
for a crystal star lit while...


I am ashamed of myself for choosing that one piece to preview, the entire poem should be read and savored, so please, do just that

~~~~~

also, check out bits by womanwords, and I wont quote cause its short, and wouldnt want to offend her for fear of being consumed in bits !!!

~~~

as always, read comment and enjoy, support your local poets or they just might disappear without so much as a


** okay, ya'll dont know why its all underlined, I didnt do that, must be a glitch in the system...

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Old 08-17-2004, 12:38 PM   #110
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Tuesday Reviews 8/17/04

Good afternoon poets and all.

There are 14 NEW POEMS today, as of now. READ THEM all, no matter what I happen to think!

Disclaimer:....oh......you know.



Topping the charts is neonurotic's freckles , a cute and sexy little lick of the tongue and pen, dripping with neo's typical subtle grace. It has been E-blessed from above. Read it and see why!


Judo gives us a beautiful sonnet,
A Woman Fell , inspired, as she says, by Eve's forum on abused woman. The poet shows grace in her writing, and a controlled hand.

I wonder who she cried for when alone
Or where she lived and who could make her laugh
Or never did....



Salt has Dustystar saying goodbye to Los Angeles and more, and is a poem that hangs on the verge of brilliance. There are images here and there throughout the poem that stunned me with elegance. This, for instance:

Tomorrow the lagoons of Puerto Huervo
Immersed in joint Coronas.
Bartering your talent for my
Collar of sunfire.


and this:

Tonight we feast on tribal drums
And the orange stars of the Angel city.


The poem has, in my mind, line-break and punctuation flaws, as well as one poor word choice (industrialessness) that keep its immense power stifled, but I think everyone MUST READ this.


jd4george is a poet who has impressed me greatly with his skill and mature control, and I make it a habit to read everything he posts. Today, he has two offerings.Fledgings is easily my favorite poem of the day and a MUST READ. It is a tender telling of children confronting death, and striking images abound.

a bird too soon fallen from its nest,
too new to chirp, too new to do anything
but open his mouth, as if soundlessness
were a chirp he could speak.


His second offering,The Judge , a narrative of courtroom sentencing and the internal reactions of the defendent to a judge he sees as callous and overreactive, is an interesting read. I think the poet gets a little carried away in spots, but there are passages of great interest everywhere, and the continued comparisons to Nazi Germany are quite effective.

I want to shout out
I'm not one of them
I don't believe in the superrace
or the SS
or any of that stuff from civics class
why didn't I listen closer
but my mouth is dry and I can't manage
anything more pathetic than a swallow
as he turns the pages of my life



sandspike with Ocracoke : No Fools No Funs and tungtied2u with Squash Blossom take us to a North Carolina island and London in two pleasant reads.


I must comment on the growing number of literotica writers who seem to be attempting to move from prose and the author boards and cross into our isolated world of poetry.

Many seem content with slapping down thoughtless lines of sentiment and then getting praise and pats on the back for their brilliance from friends on the author board alone, not caring or perhaps not even noticing that their poems remain totally unburdened by comment and critique from the serious and accomplished poets here.

There are others, however, (doormouse comes prominently to mind, and she is not alone) who are very serious about learning how to metamorphisize teenage notebook jottings into real and serious verse, and I think that group needs to be recognized and commended and encouraged.

Belagon is one of that latter group, and he has my respect and praise. There is no question his verse is improving, and quickly. 4 a.m. is a far cry from his early poetry postings and should be read. He needs to get rid of the capital letters at line beginnings and get a feel for when and when not to punctuate and separate into stanzas, but his phrasing and word choice are very good and so much better than they were.

I can feel the white
Turning red
As I sit silent
In the dim light


That's what I see today. If I missed anything you deem worthy, post your comments!

Jersey Tara
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Old 08-18-2004, 03:08 PM   #111
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Wednesday's New Poems 8/18

35 poems hit the New Poems page this morning. Wow, alot for a Wednesday isn't it? Awww… Ya'll were waiting for lil' ole me weren't ya? JK!

Well today, since school is out for the summer, I didn't have to jet to a class and fly back to work... no today, instead, I had lots of good poetry to read during my lunch break. What a great break and I'm sure I'll be much nicer to my patients because of it.




The top of the list was Bitchin' heat by Maria2394
A spicy hot poem I'd like to sink my teeth into.


After The Doves and snubbed by WickedEve
Two off the Passion's thread, both inspired and wonderfully written


thoughts in passing by Mia Moore
One of my favorite reads today because of the use of texture, color, interesting word choices, and the interwoven messege.
Quote:
somewhere west of yesterday
I saw your face in passing

a character, a silhouette
on pale and shallow clouds

above my house, late evening
against a tepid, orange sky

I stepped back and watched as wisps
of the day’s last breath receded
Cherries in the Roadstand by Dustystar
Another favorite write that put me at the roadstand, watching this scene play out:
Quote:
Grit touches the corners
of my mouth, untouched
Too long.
I’ll see your crooked
smile
And raise you.

He grins.
St Marks and Everymoon by Angeline
Inspired by the Full Moon Challenge—I for one have been impressed by the poems that have been posted lately, such as Ange's Every Moon. A beautiful lullabye-like moon poem:
Quote:
We daydream about the cow’s high jump,
the silly dish and spoon eloping,
and we feel safe and sleep or sing
about its glow, how it shines on
because it has to be moonlight
or shadow or some other thing
that it is and isn’t everywhere.
Denizens: Charlie by The Mutt
Long poems usually have my mind wandering, but I really enjoyed reading this poem. Being an ex-navy corpsman, I've seen the "Charlies" before and after their time in service. They usually have great bar stories, true or not.
Quote:
Charlie was a decorated Navy Seal.
That's just what he'd tell you, just that way.
Couldn't talk about it, he'd tell you, for hours on end,
classified, ya understand, but the stories he could tell...
Like pushing a Swift Boat up the Mekong mud,
once he had heard about them on the TV.
Charlie got promoted from barnacle scraper
whenever he walked through the doors of a bar.
Stripped of Illusion by *Catbabe*
Wow… Uhm… giving this write my first "N"—for well written, steamy-hot erotic poetry such as this one.
Quote:
good girl guilt
falls with my clothes,
kicked away,
by heathen toes
promiscuous pink
matching the surfacing flush,
called forth by fingers,
Lots of poetry on the new list and from the New poems page we have some from the Usual Suspect which were also of good show: Beside myself by tungtied2u, How I Lost My New Shoes by hippiedude, 27 years by BooMerengue, Gypsy Lady by irishcatsmeow, and stinky zen: senryu by poetboy824. A new poet hit the new lis as well, who shows promise, Without Thorns by violetfringe.




That's it folks, my opinion of what good poerty was. Go to the New Poems page and share some of your own by reading, commenting, and voting. Support your own, ya know?


- neo
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Old 08-20-2004, 09:30 AM   #112
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Some 8/19 poems....

I don't want to step on Eve's toes, (they're very tender, and sweet tastin' too- but I digress), but here are a few poems that caught my eye from the 19th I wanted to mention.

Amontillado Revisited by tathagata is in the cellar demanding attention. I recommend you descend but have a drink
beforehand.

[url=http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=396402&page=submissions[Pat Carrington[/URL] finds Hard Candy , suck on it awhile.

If you want to be edumocated as well as entertained, don't miss Sarding Frog from jd4george, a delightful andfunny form poem- the type I'm not sure of.
And don't forget to visit the comments area, where jd gives us some background sure to increase your enjoyment and understanding.
He's not charging anything.

And while you're there ....vote and comment yourself.

So that's just a few I thought shouldn't be missed..... I know there are others deserving mention.....but I'm busy, just like you are.
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Old 08-20-2004, 09:35 AM   #113
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Re: Some 8/19 poems....

Quote:
Originally posted by tungtied2u
I don't want to step on Eve's toes, (they're very tender, and sweet tastin' too- but I digress), but here are a few poems that caught my eye from the 19th I wanted to mention.


Pat Carrington finds Hard Candy , suck on it awhile.

And while you're there ....vote and comment yourself.

So that's just a few I thought shouldn't be missed..... I know there are others deserving mention.....but I'm busy, just like you are.
Sorry Pat. Your poem is terrific. Don't miss it people.
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Old 08-20-2004, 07:27 PM   #114
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New Poems Fri 20 Aug

Friday the 20th will go down in history as a good day for Lit poetry. There was a whole necklace of gems on the menu. Of the 19 poems today, I have picked 8 that you just must read. And then you should know that I still felt that I had to get picky.


Here we go...


Vainamoinen Me by lostandfounder takes you for quite a spin, using the Vainamoinen legend as a springboard metaphor for an autobiographical piece, never leaving the inaginative style and mood of it's namesake.

Vainamoinen, for those who don't know, is a slightly bizarre hero figure from Finnish mythology. The stories of his adventures ventures from strange to über-strange, in that way that only old nordic tales really can. And Vainamoinen is the grand lord of everything strange, the von Münchausen of the old sagas. If you haven't read the Kalevala, the old Finnish creation story, I strongly urge you to take it for a spin. It's a trip like few others in world literature history.


Tantra Yoga by DawnSky is a short collection of lines and phrases bordering on the downright abstract. And yet, although I only vaugely hint at the meaning, it is a delight to read. Extremely well balanced poetry.


Do Arsonists Have Wet Dreams? by Dustystar gives us a weird, but cool title. A little weird poem too, but hot as a frying pan. This is what erotic imagery can be all about, if you manage to think outside the box.


Moonlight Journey by trendyredhead sprung out of the Full Moon challenge, and a dream-like, organic poem that has a wonderful flow.
Also memorable is her Chance Meeting. The first stanza outshines the rest though wuth a lushness and imagery in a division of it's own.


Asbury Park by PatCarrington. I love this, I absolutely can not stop reading. With quite simple words and straight on imagery, he paints the most vivid of images, a scenery jubilant and rich of life.
Silence and sorrow become song
as summer calls, baton
of resurrected symphony
conducting for the ears
and hearts of yearning men
as girls unbox their flowered dresses
and mothers dig in closets
for sun hats and parasols, waltzing
to the rhythm of cement mixers
and the banging of boardwalk nails.



Denizens: Debbie by The Mutt. This is the second of his Denizens, and if this keeps up, we have a set of poetry classics in the making. Debbie is that suave, sultry, sexy and sad seductress that could be a stereotype, but really is not. Not in the hands of this poet, who turned her into a very much real person. Impressive.
Debbie was fading like the expensive blue jeans
that were painted on her womanly hips.
She was as brittle as the spray of hair that haloed her gaudy face,
and caught blonde-seeking eyes from across the bar.
She hadn't bought a drink since 1979,
and hadn't gone home sober since the senior prom.
She perched on a corner stool, an eagle on a crag,
scanning the crowd for Rolex fish to grasp in blood-red talons.



Sometimes... by Cumbaby
This isn't transcendent poetry. In fact, it's not even meant to be. But anything that makes me sputter coffee through my nose is worth an honorable mention.


#L
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Old 08-21-2004, 05:55 PM   #115
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Stopping by with a quick recommendation:

Check out this new name with two poems today, I enjoyed both and think you will as well. I keep going back to them, feeling this need to define what brings me back exactly. I wish the comments were on, I often figure out why I like something when I read smarter people's comments.

Foolish One
by islandman ©

Quote:
They say old men die wisely
And young men live foolishly
I live in my vanity
With fool's gold and a fool's love
As my mirror
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Old 08-22-2004, 09:02 PM   #116
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Sunday 8/22

Hello all!

My first regular review finds me face to face with annaswirls in fine form.

pin-point beacon wastes few words. The ones there are precise and immediate, snap you to the moment.
Ninety percent of the time I have no idea what she's saying....but she says it so beautifully, I find it irresisitable.
You will too. Read it and see,

I'm feeling somewhat like the Katydid on annaswirl's porch in her
spider visions:1-3. Totally turned around, and wondering what the hell I've gotten myslef into.
But at least I get a smile to go along with it in this clever trip across anna's front porch:

states mapped in dark slate patterns
of the flagstone porch
Hawaii nestles under Arkansas' arm
and a concrete river cuts between
Tennessee and Utah

Welcome back anna.


normal jean asks who's foolin who? in personae interchangeable a light hearted jab at psychiatrists, jumps right in with:

multiple neurosis, inconsistent with
chronic fatigue,
malnutritive misdiagnosis,I fail to see
the benefit
in an hour of us twice a week

However, spending a few minutes reading this poem is well woth the investment.


I was just saying to a friend the other day how I miss breakfast in bed, when along comes trendyredhead, and makes me miss it even more.
Have a bite with trendy.


poetboy824 shares some cellphone etiquette with us in Senryuhone call. Let's eavesdrop-

the next stall
talking on his cell phone --
i fart loudly

On that high note, I bid you adieu until next week. Don't forget to read, comment and vote........do unto others....
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Old 08-23-2004, 11:41 AM   #117
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monday new poems

good day all

my computer is acting up again, so this will happen in pieces and maybe not at all after this one is done, I just cant deal with the stress, it makes me nutty

New Poems

I see, that after a few days with no reviews and all the confusion about reviews, there are a ton of really good poems that were neglected last week, as I have time, if I do, I will drop my 2 pennies in , K?

*Catbabe* has the top o' the pile today and well deserved spotlight. HerStepford Suburbia
is fabulous, sarcastic and funny and you cant get much better than that

~~~

Miss Anna delights her fans with 2 new poems today, one about rocks, ( i think) Metamorphic trinity maybe I will understand it later and Mourning The Mistress about, well, mourning a mistress. dont miss'em

~~~

Tathagata has Dreamlettes which was posted for today but with the WRONG date, please read this, Tath has such a pure vision of good, I delight in every single word he has ever written, and yes, reviews are s'posed to be about individual poems, but what would a poem BE without the individual? This is an excellent read, took me back to childhood, wish I could stay there thanks, T

~~~

Womanwords offers three today, all of which are well worth the time, but quiet is my fave of her new ones

~~~

Of Chairs and Insurrections by twelveoone.ohhh what a sense of humor!! I love this writer, and this poem is greatm, thermothingies and all

...long and shiny red
the bulb attracts the eye
(I deserve an 100 for this {or at least a 75}
who else would be such a...)
the button begs for pressing
I can almost hear it say
don't be afraid
no mercury anymore
(I deserve an 100 for this {or at least a 75})
press the button
we're filled with alcohol
...
~~~~~

Sandspike,local beach poet, I am proud to say, I stomped around on his grounds or close to them many many times and today, he gives us Saltwater Revival

I kinda like the way he mixes his religion with tequila, afterall, everything goes down betetr with a shot of cuervo, right?

..release your sins in the salt
partner of tequila and redemption
crests of hope and salvation
between troughs of darkness
...

thats just a beautiful phrase sandspike, good job

~~~

Liar!!! is ready to snap 1 not once, but twice!! ready to snap 2

...oh no you don't
at 3 in the fucking morning
blare Born In The USA
at tinnitus rates
through concrete and paint
and into my tranquil
in dire need of NyQuil
tossing and burning
insomnia bed
..

Love this part!!! wow, have you been in MY insomnia bed? sounds like it, terrific poems Liar, thanks

~~~~

Sister C by darknightslave is a good read by a new poet, I believe. anyway, this is different, I like the repetition in this one and the outright just talking to you and wanna know what youre doin type tone of this poem.

Blind Date by irishcatsmeow. a good read, lotsa fun

~~~

please, ya'll, vote and send FB, be kind and fair as you would want others to be with you and have a great day!!
till next week, xoxox, NJ
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Old 08-23-2004, 02:01 PM   #118
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oops!!

Sidewalks of Brooklyn,by PatCarrington must hve been lost from my post when my irst screenfreeze happened.
If you havent read this poet, you truly do not know what you are missing, as this is a MUST read. excellent images and he makes you feel at home even if youve never been there. I have to wonder if this poem was written/inspired with a certain angeline in mind? excellent work, PatCarrington, keep'em coming
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Old 08-25-2004, 02:00 PM   #119
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Wednesday, 8/25 New Poems

Yep, Tuesday's New Poems have been skipped this week. I had expected there to be a little flood of poerty on Wednesday's New Poems, but naught. 20 poems in all. Each worth our time, but I gleaned a few from Wednesdays offerings that I believed were especailly good writes today.


senryu: threshing oats by poetboy824 ©
This senryu received the editors today, and it's a well placed on this short humorous image. I'd like to quote from the poem, but since it's shorty form poem, I'd end up placing the whole poem here and ruining it. So go read it because it's very worth it.


Two poems of particualar interest were Treading the Breakers and Stone both by jd4george ©

I enjoyed the later of these poems and jd had two versions of the poem within. I like the former:
Quote:
Like two hearts
waiting to be
freed from stone
etched by some sculptor's hand
we stand
apart
yet are one
View from a Bridge by dreamsweet ©
A melancholy poem. I enjoyed the use of color, purple has much meaning and was used well. I gleaned the part of the poem that I thought had the most impact:
Quote:
Even their obvious fight
strained his heart
with a desperate jealousy.
Hide & Seek by irishcatsmeow ©
I liked how irish put together some known phrases in her poem and made it her own with a little format editing as suggested in her public comments, I believe she'd strengthen an already powerful idea.

Union Square by PatCarrington ©
Skillful and articulate writing. The first stanza drew me in for this well written piece:
Quote:
Dawn is a peeping tom, intruding
blink by blink, truth’s spy
lighting its flares,
shocking the naked as they hide
their eyes and cover their breasts,
reaching for clothing.
That's it poets, my opionion of what I thought was good poetry for today, so go to the New Poems page and share your opinions as well.

Go support your own kind!


- neo



Edited because I boo-booed
(thanks irish )

Last edited by neonurotic : 08-25-2004 at 03:51 PM.
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Old 08-25-2004, 05:03 PM   #120
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and of course, neo "forgot" this
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Old 08-26-2004, 07:52 AM   #121
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New Poems 8-26 PART 1

I'm actually remembering to do this. I think all the hair dye and perms have fried and dyed my brain.

First on the list is a poem by Maria and what an intriguing title!

Forni Sheds Three Tears
by Maria2394 ©

On September third, 1918
Time, for those Austrian three
ceased in a flash of snow and spark
and they rested


Very interesting story told in a few stanzas and well written.



Essence #6
by FaberusPetrus ©

Among the others
for me to see
a sweet Witch found
but soon my face would
feel the brutal rage
and burn as though


A combination of a good poet and good poet's essence.



Denizens: Trip
by The Mutt ©

Trip had a head like a Halloween pumpkin
and ears like the suicide doors of a Lincoln,


Very good poem with one great ending. Give this one a read.



Walking on Yellow
by PatCarrington ©

It takes young lungs
to tear red melancholy
from the trees, a hand
of cold skin to scatter
the yellow confetti of November
across the calling hills.


Beautifully written. Smooth from start to finish.



I'll be back later with more.
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Old 08-26-2004, 12:26 PM   #122
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PART 2

Sorry, it's taking me forever to do this. I had to stop after part 1 and go to town to pay my water bill. I'm in a hick town that decided a golf course was the answer to our prayers. But we're paying for it through the water bills and property taxes. I've decided to stop washing until the price drops or until someone calls me stinky.

Okay, I just read Razz's poem and what a wonderful little poem!

[url=http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=160068]About chimeras
by RazzRajen ©

Blades sent crawling
single sheets sprawling
Wrapt in crinkles
of stained ardour




Gymnast
by lostandfounder ©

"Hold and release"
"Mount the apparatus"
"Here comes the big finish!"


This gave me a big smile with its ending. This is light, fun erotica.



Parallax
by annaswirls ©

We felt the creepy stare
through papered plaster walls
careful hands lifted the wooden lid
slowly as to not make a sound.


If you've ever sneaked a cookie, then read this poem!



Safari
by Dustystar ©

Sing you hilarity
Hyena in the marsh.


I love this. It's a quick read but a good read!



Adoption
by Tathagata ©

If I'd known you
in strawberry dresses ,
puddle warped maryjanes , tree climb elbows
teddy bears and tea parties,


This is so sweet and wonderfully written, so go read and comment!



Okay, part 3 should finish it.
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Old 08-26-2004, 02:56 PM   #123
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PART 3

sliver
by neonurotic ©

Be unnessecary
go slow
then beyond
entice with flattery


neo does great with minimalism. This is a smooth, clean poem. Well done. (unnecessary?)



Tessa Monia
by Liar ©

It's mandatory to read a poem that begins this way:

send me spinning
through words like vapor
virelays wielding vocal wings




hitching a ride
by SeattleRain ©

opposable thumbs
cracking peanuts
popping aluminum tops

seducing the driver,
hitching a ride


I just love the way SR shifts gears from stanza 1 into stanza 2.



Suspended Animation
by tungtied2u ©

Gossamer wing beat
fervent mandolin strings

sing


This is simply a lovely poem. Read and comment.



Alexia
by WriterDom ©

40 tails of bison
underhanded rising to connect
crisscrossed along buttocks
each tail tapered to bite


Some BDSM erotic poetry tends to be... lacking, but WriterDom handles it nicely.



I dream about Change
by Owera ©

Change will knock on my door
in a starched white collar,
ask me if I accept it as my personal savior,
laugh in my face and invite me
somewhere,
anywhere,


This poem is by a poet I'm not familiar with. I like this. It's different and I think it's worth a read.
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Old 08-27-2004, 08:45 PM   #124
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Apologies y'all. In the middle of the night, Real Life interrupted and kept me from reading the new poems. Amnd now it's 2.30 and I am so sleepy I can't think straight.

But since there was only 7 of the little buggers anyway, here goes a brief review round of the 4 that I found, in my dizzy state, to be pretty neat:

Venus Smiles by nikolasoliver ©
A play with words and presentation. Some attempts better than others. But all in all an enjoyable break from the regular form.


My Secret Place by simply_cyn ©
Smooth description of a private little corner. It's an illustrated poem which shows the place described. but like sandspike said in a PC: "I knew the room before I got to the flick". That's the mark of good word painting.


Renaming the Streets by PatCarrington ©
One of my new favourite poets, who writes grand themes from a human perspective, and paints bold brush strokes with a relatively mundane vocabulary. This poem is no exception. A wistful, emotional piece that hits home.


Clocks and Compasses by Toward A Word ©
A poem about navigating the big and weird ocean of life. You need both clocks and compasses to pull that off. Toward A Word looks back and finally turns, quite aptly, toward a word: tomorrow.


yaaaaaawn... good night, poets

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Old 08-29-2004, 09:08 PM   #125
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New Poems 8/29 Sunday

Hello y'all-
First, I want to admit I have been somewhat negligent of the new poems lately due to real life knocking on my door. As a result, I know there are some fairly new poets posting, and I'll hopefully not insult youif this is the first of your work I've read.

That being said ashkara who is new to me, but I see has posted a rash of poems lately gives us Childhood Sensuality, a vivid collection of first time childhood sensations:

Dancing in nighttime rain,
Naked in the yard,
Cold pinpricks drilling
Through the layers of my skin
being just one. I did this just last week myself, for the first time in ages- exactly as she describes it.


Seattle Rain offers many options in choosing the metaphor of you.

Some very nice, fresh imagery in here, to wit:

what are you
divided prism blended on a pallet,
brush twirling like batons on fire
the band plays but everyone is watching her,
trying to repress their fantasy
of the twirl turning into burn
(I think I saw her at a club lasdt night). Don't miss this!
By the way Seattle, no "m' at the end of suffocation)
Alos by Seattle, genius at midnight boasts some wonderful lines,
my favorite being:
and we were all each other
blended on carpet and hardwood


Stolen Dreams by doormouse , a post to the Full Moon Challenge I assume, is crisp and clear like an autumn night....minimalist yet very effective.

Although I don't feel Music for a Girl is one of my favorite poems by Pat Carrington, there is some internal rhyming in the second stanza that jumped out at me as out of place, and I could have used a little more punctuational guidance in places, he still gives us some super imagery:

those women who wrap you
in the gauze of their sorrow,
who cry and pray
to the unrelenting stones
they know so well
and lead you, as you drift,
to the kingdom
with their pointing hands,
As always, Pat's work is a must read.

twelveoone is hoping for maybe just a little acknowledgement in Low aspirations. Give the guy a break...read his poem ....smile....and comment. R right?


Tempo
by dustystar is my favorite read of the day. It's witty, wild and out of control, complete with sound effects:

Men pounded on the table,
Hard as they are able,
Beating empty barrels with the handle of a broom,
Boomlay, boomlay, boomlay, BOOM.
THEN she felt her cunt clench, THEN she heard her heart wrench.
Could not deny that her thighs were drenched.

THEN SHE SAW THE DEVIL CREEPING THROUGH THE PACK,
CUTTING THROUGH THE CROWD ON A GOLDEN TRACK.

Really gets the heart goin' this one- a must, must read!


That about wraps it for me on the 29th- however there were some great poems on the 28th as well that didn't get reviewed,

so come on poets, step up and take your best shot- pick the one you like best and refer it to the rest of us...

and even if you don't--remember to read and comment and vote....although many of us write for our own pleasure, and, like twelveoone have "Low aspirations", we still like a little acknowledgement.

Til next week
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