Old 07-22-2004, 05:44 PM   #76
WickedEve
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July 22 Part 2

Trench Brainfare
we hoped for just
one more
innocuous starshell
to light the pages


Some poems are simply perfect. Be sure to offer this poet feedback and encouraging votes.

~~~~~

Just like Venice
striped umbrella becomes a gondolier's shirt
and wrought iron table and chairs
become outdoor breakfast cafe
with chocolate spread on toast
coffee to die for
wait...


From her alley, this talented poet turns Baltimore into Venice.

~~~~~

Her Seduction-Proof Skin
Teflon blouse sheds charm
Wicks moisture
Keeps her so cool and dry
you could flay your tongue on her flagpole


Very clever. Make sure you don't miss this one.

~~~~~

Forty Poets Wood
Porters dropped their baggage, even liars stopped their lying,
swirls stood still in coffee cups and friars stopped their frying.
Trendy hippies held their tokes, champagne in grails stopped bubbling,
ferocious cats stopped chasing rats, the mutt's howl was so troubling.


This poet does some name dropping.

~~~~~

There are more good poems but I'm all read out at the moment.
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Old 07-23-2004, 08:42 PM   #77
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Friday the 23rd

It looks like Fridays are back to normal again. 20-ish poems and at least one illustrated one.

Here are the pick. Remember, I'm just one bloke with no real know, so I just pick whatever feels right to my head, gut and crotch.

--------------------------------------

Any Other Day Would Find You by hippiedude
We all dream ourselves away sometimes, to another day than the gray one that we are stuck in at that very moment. The feeling of that wish is captured perfectly in this poem. A monolougic kind of piece, a healthy dose of mild cynism and a great, smooth read.


your favorite scene by WickedEve
"you can afford perversions when you're brilliant" starts this poem, and thus also speaks autobiographically about itself. It is brilliant, and can therefore afford to be this really erotically twisted.


river by poetboy824
A minimal, elegant set of distilled metaphors. Simply stated and sensual.


The Pit Dance by DeepAsleep
If you haven't been there, I'm not sure you can fully appreciate this poem, and the acute accuracy in which it describes what's in the title. It will still be a good poem, written in a driven pace and with a sharp language, but it took me right back into the magic madness of that place.


Painful Mornings by Belegon
Straight on no fuss no sentimentality description of the emptiness of a love lost or absent.


Wilderness Road, 1864 by jd4george
Here is a slice of poignant history, written with such a lush, brilliant story-telling ease that my toes curl.


~ Touching the sun by neonurotic
Here is a poem so ram packed with individual killer lines that it is almost ridiculous when read together. It becomes even better when we're treated to an illustration perfectly both enhancing and counterpointing the tone of the poem. And it's a cool picture in itself too.


6 Mums in a Still Life by jd4george
The last one on my line to review, and also my favourite today. This wistful piece captures so many different things, but more than anything, it speaks of a mother's bond to her children. Frankly though, even if this was a poem about raspberry jam, I would read and love it, if only because of the incredible eloquence that the poet possesses. Read, and be mesmerised.


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Old 07-24-2004, 03:32 PM   #78
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Black-Eyed Susan by SelenaKittyn
starts strong with
She is black-eyed Susan,
a Wild-flower,
hearty and vibrant,
sitting proudly on her slender but bristly stalk,
thriving where nothing else can grow,

although, the black-eyed Susan in the first line is a bit superfluous in light of the title for me, that's subjective. I love this part of the poem, I'm not too thrilled with "waste places" is it another way to say dump? or place to throw garbage? probably, but because of the word usage and the situation of the word, it reads like it's grammatically incorrect. I'd like "wasted" or another word entirely. I didn't understand where "longest tongued insects came from, it almost felt sexual in the middle of an, as I saw it/felt it, "strength in the face of diversity"metaphor. And how hummingbirds and butterflies have long tongues is beyond the scope of my scientific logic. Ending with the he loves me part, felt like it didn't even match the poem.
Overall this poem started out incredibly strong and colored me confused by the end wondering what happened.


Wicked Eve gave us several poems, my favorite of the three, two being automotive genre, is...
and sometimes I drive it
fantastic title! I'm so with you, I hear my dad and a bunch of guys I've known telling me about that color red, and how I won't be able to handle it. I haven't told them "fuck you" myself yet, but I will, and when I do, I hope it's half as strong as the way you did it. The only part I'm not sure about is from Flashback and on, I get that it is fractured like a flashback, but I think I'd still like it to look or feel a bit more cohesive with the rest of the poem's structure, or at least, continue the poem again, after the flashback, to give some closure. I feel like you closed the poem pre flashback, which means it didn't really close at all, which, if that is what you're going for, the openness of the relativity of you and the man in relation to the auto, it sort of works, but I'm just projecting really. I don't know, I just know it feels weird structurally at the end. Oh, and I just hated that mommy car poem, not because it sucked, but because I know it so well, and I'm rebelling against it.

Deep Asleep continues the automotive them with Hotrod Beatdown, Redline Fairytale I can't pretend to know the intricacies of automotive mechanics, but that being said, I sure as hell know you're in a fast car and you're working it. I do however you need a pit crew, soon... are you a Nascar fan by chance? I know a few people who are, that would probably appreciate this... or at least be able to tell me if your automotive references are accurate. So, beyond the subject, the only thing that felt a bit off to me was the last line... you're so heated throughout, and yet it's a hard work kind of thing, and mother fucker feels angry to me, and I don't know why you're angry all of a sudden. It doesn't fit for me.

It all started (again) by annaswirls
not sure if the again is for the repeat performance or really part of the title, but it works either way.
Part two is soooooo strong! Part one, there are two things that bug me, one is, you use "tendon" in stanza two and three, but not the first, I really don't know why that bugs me, but it does. Well, probably cause I heard the word more than once, and yet it's not because of structure, it's just because you didn't have another word, that really really bothers me. I think I maybe a little OCD about it. The other is the "the" heh, that is missing here
his ink stained thumbnail digs
under tight tendons of my wrist and
play slippery strings
of a silent cello

you see where?
in fact, if you don't want to use the "the"... I'd change the line to
under my wrist's tight tendons and
play(s)<<subject verb agreement> slippery strings
of a silent cello
however, those are little things, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the imagery of this poem. I was all "oh..OOHHHHHHHh!!!"

Eumenides offers four poems today, hard for me to pick, as I'm completely biased about them, knowing her and the intimate details of her poems. However, that being said, well other than, god I just love her poetry, I'm gonna have to pick...
Boxing My Memory I don't know if it's because I know the background behind the poem, but it feels so powerful to me, so raw and open, every word punctuated by real life and the depth of her emotion. Check this poem out, and someone do a critique of it, because I'm just too close to see more than the reality of it.

naked in america by steve porter
Mr. Portaaaaaaair, god I wanted to love this poem when I read the title, but I didn't. I think you had the opportunity to move beyond the reality of nudity and bring a metaphor to the table involving the reality of the people all over this country, not just naked, but defined as open. For me, the sexuality of this poem makes this poem more shallow than great in the scope of the universe, america and the stars we see when we're naked in it. I probably should not judge a book by it's cover, and so if I just look at it for what it is, instead of what I hoped for it, it's just an ok poem, and if you use words like "naked" and "america" I'm thinking of larger, grander poetry, that I know you're capable of.

Claming in Claimed Watersby Reltne
*ahem* "clamming"
You could remove this section
A stone lies facedown
man, woman, two kids in a face
down
the waves turn in the dark
and you will be seen
you and me
we will be seemed
us
as clams
in water claimed
to be steamed in one stolen swollen hour.

and the poem that's left would be more. This first part confuses me, and doesn't flow, verbally or structurally or in imagery with the rest of it, and the rest of it is stronger.
this
rimmed in a blue hive of sky
where the blood rush of life's possibilities
is the biggest buzz

is breathtaking. And how that, and the previous section come from the same poem is beyond me.

Angeline gave us two, and I liked both, but I picked my fav of the two and went with
Buena Boys <even though I thought major bullshit had some really witty references to it, I love intelligent rants, they're so difficult in the middle of anger sometimes, but I digress>back to los ninos...
boy, did you catch that spirit!??! *sigh* I miss my Spanish Harlem Nights, my Washington Heights weeks, and my NYC life. Your musica brought me back, chula. muchas gracias. Talk about "seamless" If my "lines" are this good when I'm their age, I'm gonna be one hell of a poet.

FarberusPetrus gives us
SP essence #5 the clearest of all the SP poems thus far... I was almost tempted to ask if he was trying to throw me off. Wait, I just did. There is a certain clarity to this poem that is deceiving. The key to all the clues is the word "stoup". I hope I was not the only person who needed to look this up. If you use that as the key to open the clues in this poem you'll be led towards "heaven", "serving-man", and "nods from above"... stoup is the ecclesiastical tie in, although it feels a little weak, unless you're paying attention. I think FabPet has a god complex.

sum fings written is my choice of Liar's two poems today.
this poem tickles me, because he's writing intricately about not writing what he wanted to... circular, like a doorbell. I think I'm reading between the ding dongs today.

Fuck you and your sonnet Suspension of Hostilities, Tristesse, ya treehugger :P

Perfect Blossom by JCSTREET
this feels like D.H. Lawrence. It's beautiful, and I love how it sounds like petals falling in the beginning. I'm not sure "sere" was the correct word choice, but I can feel the imagery and emotion in it's usage. This is so different from some of your manic poems, you're freakin' me out man. Your poetry is like New England Weather, prolly why I love it.
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Old 07-25-2004, 01:57 PM   #79
annaswirls
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NEW POEMS!!!


In case you have not heard, every time WickedEve's name shows up on the new poems page, you need to read every single one.

NeoPetal 6.2
by WickedEve ©

I plan to print out the NeoPetal series and read them all together. I love love the sounds
Quote:
sinuous,
with sling thong:
and images NeoPetal 6.2
Quote:
He corkscrews,
with forked buds of pronged
taste.
I have to read them all together, as I said to put the story in perspective, but they are a great read even out of context.

(written while little guy uses the potty which is a monumental task requiring a good 10 minutes! Take every opportunity to write!)
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Old 07-25-2004, 07:39 PM   #80
annaswirls
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NEW POEMS!!!



Something new you do not read every day. Beacon
by RavenFischer ©

RavenFischer has an ear for putting together words that sound good together (like chocolate and peanut butter) I also felt for the ending of this poem. No matter how you cut it, this is true on at least one level. New to lit, but not new to poetry, I look forward to more poems.

Quote:
Dissimilar lives on meandering paths,
a confluence of convenience
discerning needs.
They embark on a journey
that will end in heartache.
---------

Lefty
by cerise77 ©

You might know this already but I am sweet on short poems. The second and third strophes of this poem are enough of a poem for me. Although I am all about eyes rolling back and the numb toes, I would like this even more without them.

Quote:
Slim fingered
she was
heavy-handed
in the right places

Good lord look at that.

-------




guess?
by Sinsualmind ©

I liked parts of this, loved parts of this and was kind of indifferent to others. But I was impressed with the overall poem.

I think it could stand better without the first4lines of the last stanza.
And the last line. I really really hope that this poet considers a re-write because I think this poem, while good, could be excellent.

Quote:
slow
sinsual
sucking

deep
mental
fucking
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Old 07-25-2004, 08:02 PM   #81
annaswirls
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NEW POEMS!!!


This just might be my favorite today. Super 8

by Sara Xat ©
I hope I am not being presumptious in my assumption that the title was a mis-shift of the 8. Look at this freaking poem. It is awesome. I feel so lucky that we have two poets writing short hot poems that hold my attention. And I know I know the whole speech (that I often give) about show don't tell, but in this case, the insert tab A into slot B type of language in lines 5-6 work here. In this setting, there is no time to show, and this urgency is displayed in the pace of the poem.

Please go read it if you have not already.


-------

When I first came to lit, someone told me
"Angeline is like a real poet!"

If there is someone out there that has not learned this yet, read this poem:

Secondhand Bones
by Angeline ©

The title carries more of a punch than most poems do.

If you can, read the first stanza out loud. Listen to those repeating sounds. They carry emotion, they carry a message, just the sounds. She makes it seem easy, it isn't.

Quote:
Knit one, perl two.
Bones clicked on clack,
rejoined so this old skeleton
jumps out of the closet,
closes the door.
I hope that you take this poem elsewhere too, Angeline, so that others may have the opportunity to read it! If you are looking for something other than my praise, let me know, I have a few suggestions that you could take or leave

----

It is a good day when Lauren posts a poem.

Words Drop
by Lauren Hynde ©


This one has the title of a STC I wonder if she is just getting to it (about 4 months late?) Well worth the wait. Lauren is an artist who takes great pride in her work, and works for her pride. I hope that makes sense. This poem starts out airy and light, "winds whim" brings that to us very efficiently doing it's job -- then grows heavier, earthier, then fire, damn this is a good poem. It takes us through all of the basics of the earth and ties them up in a nice package in the end. Can you tell I love this poem?

My only question is "death's pollen" I did not understand that meaning/metaphor.



please click the link and go read and comment on Lauren's latest


That is all, folks. If I missed any that you think deserve a mention, please by all means, post em when you find 'em.

And Vote, Send Feedback, Leave Public Comments, do something to tell the artists here what you are thinking. They (we) work hard here and everyone needs a little luv.
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Old 07-26-2004, 04:30 PM   #82
Maria2394
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new poems, Monday 7/26

New Poems


How blessed am I today? To fnd out, all you have to do is pick a poem and start reading. I began this task last night with the aid of Normal Jean, she left a few commenst only because she is all into that instant grat stuff, I saved mine for here

~~

RazzRajen, wow, It took me a while, to appreciate his style, but when i finally got it, it blew me away and still is.
he offers us today- Again repeated

...Her breath His
His hers
Glommed they were tight as a seal
and then
Dipped below
Turgid waters, dank desires
her sweat mapped her brow
His tangled the chest...


thi s reads like a love story, possessive and adored, and ends with a touch of poe good work Razz

~~~~

the chair, the brute and willing

Wicked Eve gets me all primed to see a tiger tamed, or something tamed, but I believe the tame-er is the one actually being tamed, this is NOT a tame poem however, it's filled with sexy innuendo and made me rather hot

...but hesitant kept her distance,
coerced only with wine and tenderness,
till she became willing on chair's arm,
over the back, kneeling in front


~~~

Neonurotic is up next, with It makes you human

...If you are insane
then I am the same...


I love that first line, it pulled me in, begging me to see why he thought we were all the same, o r insane, which would be insane if we all were neo is a thinking kinda guy, liked to analyze things and he usually makes pretty good sense, but the next one he has, I can't identify with because, well, it's about an anatomical part I just dont have and I like the heat, read it and enjoy!!

Hot summer night's bitch

~~~ see how easy this is? I mean, really,, you all could just start at the top of the list and keep on going to you read them all!!

~~dcpoet44 brings us a poem about a computer upgrade.Browser Upgrade 8.2

I love poems about the internet and computers in general because to me, it seems a difficult subject to write about without sounding all machine-ish, This poet, still rather new here, in my opinion has shown much positive growth as apoet in a very short time and I loook forward to many more reviews including his name

...this program
is black on white-
fast like a Corvette-
romantic as a Convertible-
durable as a Delorean.

it’s top notch in quality
for a hungry market
that likes a sleek product.
...

~~
tungtied2you adorns us with some smashing alliteration
a bouncy poem that is a lot of fun to read aloud-

Cold Comfort

...Frenzied flurry flash
dizzy, dancing
detours thought
crystal ice
distortion
...

~~~~

Heroin Fairy Tale by DeepAsleep

...
I don't know any stories,
anymore."
I sound like rough sex
bad attitude
silk sheets...


I don't know what it is about this poem, maybe that it feels too close, and dares to mimic part of my own life and maybe yours too, ( in some way you may have forgotten) It's an intriguing poem, surreal almost, read it, several times, vote and send FB, this a new poet with a ton of poet-ential and we should encourage the newer poets, as well as the not so new ones, right?

~~~

No Bagles has 5 submissions today. Meta Perspective

this poem incorporates a good deal of history and some unique phrasing, I enjoyed it, but the spacing, while I understand the why of it, bugs my eyes, still I gave it a 5 and would recommend it to anyone looking for a philosophical poem that is enjoyable to read

...golden brandy - dinosaur spit and bacterial soup
combined to alleged magic
...

but this one!!! wowed me, yes it did, has thsi poet been taking a denis hale-like description supplement with his/her morning coffee? read and enjoy, I sure did!!

Business as usual

and don't skip this humorous little poem, its cute, will make you smile

Zoochology

~~~
as always, if I missed any that should be spotlighted here, please post your opinions!! after all, thats all these reviews are, just my opinions and I have to say, I truly enjoyed this little job today, its nice to get a whole bunch of kickin' poems
~~~
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Old 07-26-2004, 05:39 PM   #83
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Talking more new Poems

ding, ding, round 2

Straight Lies by Blueskybeauty

another new poet here that shows exponential potential!! she gives us a poem sexy tease of a a poem, someone here is straight, goddamn it, but I'm beginning to wonder if it ISNT me, everytime I read a poem like this

...my heartbeat thunder
as lips drew near,
mine watered with arousal,
then opened their
surrender...


good work bluesky, and keep 'em coming

~~~~
and now, some Uncle Pervey

he gives us Rocky Marciano!

yep, its about the famous fighter,and yes,I am a woman and I like boxing, I even have a heavy bag that I work out with a lot, its fun, a great way to work those abs, release frustration and well, its fun so is this poem


well, if I had to pick my favorite today, it would be a very difficult thing to do, but I liked this one a lot, even though I 'm a bit confused with the refs to a castle and moat and tribes..tribes of what? huns, barbarians, normans, or native americans? that's where it got me, maybe I shoulld have looked up Sidhe

Sidhe Devils by Mr Mescalito

~~~

R. Richard presents us with 10 poems today, but he is not accepting PC nor votes. He has an enormous collection of stories, perhaps he is a bit shy about his poems. I saw a couple that resemble Haiku, if anyone should so choose, perhaps he would welcome some personal FB

~~~
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Old 07-27-2004, 08:43 AM   #84
tarablackwood22
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Tuesday Reviews 7/27 - part 1

NEW POEMS

Good morning, boys and girls, and other genders. I count 40 new pieces of verse for Tuesday. By the time I'm done, there will probably be 40 more, but here goes.

Beelzebubbles is back with 2 more "poets are stupid mother-fuckers with insufficiently-sized genitals" poems. Personally, I think the soapy devil should try to expand his/her horizons a bit, but that's just me.

Liar gives us a beautiful piece of poetry in Deliquescence by the sea, where we find him pondering his significance, or lack thereof,.......longing, as we all sometimes do, to be more powerful than he really is, to make a difference. This is a gorgeous poem and I highly recommend it.

we all stand by that pond
sometimes
to sense real life
elusive out of reach
and patiently wait
for nonexistent currents
a gust of impotent wind
to bring promises
drifting
into our open hands



duckiesmut , a poet who has caught my eye before, expresses frustration and a bit of anger in Broken .

Seattle Rain gives us 6 glowing lines of "attitude" in the full shine . Read this!

In Cameos , Angeline gives us a beautiful picture of a mother's pain of separation from her babies. Highly recommended.

Your two faces
have not faded,
but rather are carved
like cameos, lockets
lain against my soul


BlueskyBeauty , a new poet, shows a fine hand and some very nice phrasing in
embracing you . It needs some small trimming and is a bit trite in spots, and there are some spelling errors, but it is still a good read from a poet who needs to be watched.

we talked about that time,
laughed again until we cried,
dried the tears,
and sought the years,
that stilled our troubled hearts.


quietpoet is another new name that bears watching. He offered 3 poems, and I found
Silent Touch to be the most engaging. As with BlueskyBeauty, there were some stale phrases and excess words (witness the unnecessary word "awaiting' in the quote below), but there was enough strength and power to overcome them and recommend it be read.

As your hand draws close to mine
energy arcs and forms sacred patterns
upon my awaiting open palm,
bringing abundance to open hearts.


Syndra Lynn gives us the joys of a carnival in Take Me! . I do not think it is one of her stronger poems, but is well worth a close reading.

barking voices
games of notta chance
shiny prizes
grasp at rings just outta reach


One newer poet who demands serious attention is SelenaKittyn and
Opening is a poem that shows a skilled hand and a flair for the metaphorical, and should be read by everyone today!

What combination
unseals this safe?
Go on demanding,
spinning dizzy
the dial forever.


Three poems I should mention simply because the poets put in serious and time-consuming efforts, and seem determined to write serious verse are
Loving Lust by Serantha and Finding Home and How much by Victoria_2001_02769. .
All 3 poems are too replete with worn-out phrases to recommend, but I do think these two poets' genuine efforts indicate their desire to improve and I suggest to them that they could benefit greatly by reading the poems of the more established poets here to get a feel for image and phrasing.

It's break time for me.....be back with Part 2.

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Old 07-27-2004, 10:12 AM   #85
tarablackwood22
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Tuesday Reviews 7/27 - Part 2

All drugged up on caffeine for round 2.


Flyguy69, who is fast becoming a consistent and well-established poet here, displays his trademark cleverness and deft phrasing in Sports Bra.

My Blood by Purity Corrupted does, in spots, rise above the standard "Submissive" tripe we are often presented with, and some may find it interesting.

In love triangle, annaswirls gives us a very finely worded look at a menage a trois and tangents thereof. Highly recommended.

me Jack and Eddie
play the script of
"which side of this triangle can hold the most weight"
holding in the mystery for as long
as our denim could contain us


Wrapped in Blue by Dustystar is a gorgeous read with wonderful use of internal rhyming and excellent phrasing. Highly recommended.

Oceans of lotion,
You motion to me
With a slight tilt of a
Martini glass to your lips.


sandspike gives us a pleasant Carolina read with Outer Banks Evening.

Feral Soul is another new poet who would benefit from viewing the image and phrasing techniques of more experienced poets.Only in Fantasy is an honest effort, but hackneyed.

Belagon is a poet I have noticed before, and Reluctant Reversal , while spotty, has enough in it to make it a worthwhile read. I strongly recommend tossing the last 2 lines as far as they can be thrown.

I had never expected
The drama of these days
I would not have believed
The ground so dangerous
The edge to be so close


Uncle Pervey's got a few up, as always. They did nothing for me, but if you like his stuff, they're there.

That's it, folks.

As always, if a poem you think worthy failed to catch my eye, you should mention it yourself in a post below this one.

Everyone -- go read, and leave constructive comments for our poets!!

Tara

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Old 07-28-2004, 12:08 PM   #86
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Wink And now, a word about some new poems!

43 New Poems today. I read every single one, give my own opinion, recommend those I like, and invite you to do the same. That's how it works because we live in a free country founded on freedom of speech.

***

Grillin' the Lime was a wonderful way to start my day.

Quote:
I am a Corona commercial,
sun grilled with a lime slice.
Each wave a current event,
each sunset seen through a longneck,
fish eye view of a golden world.
***

An Evening in Her Garden is a wonderful piece, subtly erotic.

Quote:
measure for me
your passion
in the extension of your leg
with a rotation of an ankle
as you pirouette and pose
with a smile just for me.
***

the buck is a short read and a simple pleasure.

Quote:
...he stops and smells
muscles twitching
the doe-musky air
beguling bewitching...
***

Can You See Me Now? is a great poem about a woman realizing and accepting her own worth. THIS IS A MUST READ!

Quote:
I

was

trying to get your attention
not to mention
come up with an invention
similar to a shatterproof heart
in the beginning you were the start
of my smiles, the end of my tears
I knew love would last for years
all I had to do was
trust

in

you
***

Suffering frequent crashes-I am going to post in bits. Sorry!

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Old 07-28-2004, 12:32 PM   #87
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Part 2-

Teach Me has a jungle beat that speaks to my erotic soul.

Quote:
teach me...
I want to learn that smooth groove between your lips
***


Sky is a beautiful poem that I enjoyed very much.

Quote:
Mirages of racing Laputa rocks
skims the horizon,
spider web superstratic
mist trails shift from purple black
***

Owed to Betsy is a lovely ode to a teacher, friend, mentor, poet.

Quote:
In those weeks we talked of poets
and learned to use words
like a child's finger-paints.
***

Jazz, the Way I know It is wonderfully inspiring, so moving and HOT all at the same time. I love this poem.

Quote:
you heard me in the darkness
never parting my lips to speak
only to lick them wet with heat
and anticipation
breaths filled with hesitation
at times, because of your moves
fingers playin’ grooves
that only John Coltrane
could musically maintain
up and down my spine run sizzling chills
courtesy of your melodic skills
***

Well, those are my picks. If you liked one I missed, post it here!

Bright Blessings to All

and to All a Good Day!

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Old 07-29-2004, 05:51 PM   #88
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about the new poems for 7-29

I have been away from my computer since 5:30 this morning. I just got home, so I will read all the lovely poems later and comment. If anyone wants to mention a poem, please do. In the meantime, check out Lauren's first E poem!
I can love you...
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:52 PM   #89
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Friday reviews.

22 new poems this friday.

Here are the tasty treats in the moderately sized pile...


tainted fantasy by bluerains
A sensual trickle of words well matched side by side. As a poem it doesn't say much, but it says it ever so elegantly.
fantasy greets inhibitions
sensual visions branded not
with
tattooed muscles
and black leather vests
but
a moist wanton smile
that hungers for
possession




An Original Work by alaya
The concept of holistics and everythings ever so slight connection is a subjet for many a poem. Here is one with a nice no-nonsens flair to it. I like.
Each breath is a taste
Of those who went before us
Jesus, blood, Monroe's bones
All mingle in our sweat




Ode to Older Men by Syndra Lynn
A fun read, where an old cliché metaphor is taken and driven so far and so well and with such unashamed charm that I completely forgive the poet for using it.
Older men drive better.
They shift smoothly,
hug curves,
take the long way home.




Hyperventilating by Remec
A short and intense poem about a shortand intense feeling. Well penned with some interresting observations.


Invocation by Lauren Hynde
Simple wording, but Well balanced and carefully thought out. Sharp as a glass cut.



Heat does not rise by annaswirls
The real king of the poems today, here is a landscape, setting a room and it's inhabitants so vividly painted that I could see and feel them immediately.
Tough tuck and sheet slide witnessed by
a spying alphabet quilt still hung on the wall
and the curious cat paws under the door.

Toes wiggle warm together under blanket
giving congratulations for having made it
back up another year. Fingers soon follow
the parade moving inward to the core.




Lust by KillerMuffin
Aside from the title, that is way too blunt for a very un-blunt poem, 'Lust' is a great example of how to portrait the sensual and sexual without slanting into tacky-land. Hopwever, I can't for the life of me figure out why she had line breaks where she did.
Black, like lust-dilated eyes reflecting
a shrouded sky full of turbulence.
White, like a flash of teeth behind lips
in the split of light streaking across
the heavens to the ground.
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Old 07-31-2004, 11:22 PM   #90
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Poems of July 31, 2004

OK, I will do it if no one else wants to.

There are only 11 poems today, and only 2 that have any public comments as of yet.

One is Consummation by matriarch. It is essentially an erotic list poem. Her friends seem to like it. Go read it and decide for yourself.

The other poem is by twelveoone and titled Brighter Days. This is a poem with strong imagery and mostly (at least to me) understandable metaphor about summer drought. It may not be twelveoone's best, but it is of the day.

Go read them all and decide for yourself.
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Old 08-01-2004, 02:05 PM   #91
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Sunday, August 1st Reviews

41 poems hit the new list this morning. Sounds like alot of reading, but this is the number of poems I normally see on Sundays because I know all of Lit's poets are penning these beauties just for me... right? jk

Great show today in that fourty-one bunch, these are the ones that I thought would be of interest to you fine poets:



waiting for absolution by undulation is a short poignant write of wanting absolution by a character who is blasé about seeking it. undulation also had two other poems, to kiss you and rum and the future both of which I thought had some excellent sensory images.

hippiedude brings us a set up from familiar commercial, 'Priceless', but tailors it nicely to fit a poetic-like form in RE: Is it really you?

I enjoyed the view of Road of Judgement by Tathagata as it is a poem jam packed with pictures in every stanza.
Quote:
Bars are closed,
words and laughter
are frozen confetti,
hanging in air
until the clock strikes.

each hour wounds...the last one kills.
Miss annaswirls, the better half of Sunday's reviews posts this great piece for me to review: Universal Mother. Anna poem's are never clear until you read the poem as a whole, including the title. I enjoyed her scrapbook full of snapshots today.
Quote:
They were not impressed.

They only stood before me,
silent, still, waiting,
knowing that a body would soon come
from my body, screaming
and suckling it’s way into life.

Just like everyone.
BlueskyBeauty's where are the clowns is a lamentable beauty with a metaphor that is piercing because traditionally, it's something that is suposed to be happy and cherished in collection.

Angeline also has a strong metaphoric piece with Small Change. Read this one a few times, folks, to get the full meaning of the title.
Quote:
It matters not.

Belief is not the dreaming,
change is simply moving on.
The most enjoyed read of the day was Hopeless romanticism on a train by Liar—the man knows how to paint a smooth, vivid picture with words
Quote:
Sigh
don't just sit there
come unlock that frown
next to me
for a moment
Also of excellent show, from the New Poems list were tungtied2u's Aberration, Angeline's Anew III, herecomestherain's Pale Flowers, and hippiedude's Black Widow.


That's it folks, my opinion of what I thought was good poetry. Go out and spread your opinions with mentions, comments, and votes on the New Poem's page. Every poet on that list posted just for you.


- neo

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Old 08-02-2004, 11:18 AM   #92
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new poems, monday

well neo, you thought they were posting just for you? looks like I got 48....New Poems

Selling Gloryby kenseyk has some good images, could use some line reworking or maybe some punctuation, but a good read none th eless
~~~~~

Friendship by LInzartart, who is accepting neither votes nor PC says a lt with this poem. It may not be the best written poem I ever read, but sometimes content is more important than structure, to me anyway, and if it gets the message across, who am I to judge?

~~~

My Sweet Friend by Sir_Nathan is a loving, bittersweet story that feels very real, and although it could be better without the rhyme, I truly enjoyed this poem, its full of emotion and not strangled with metaphor that are obscure..anyone could understand the pain of losing a friend..good work, Sir Nathan
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Old 08-03-2004, 12:15 PM   #93
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Tuesday Reviews - 8/3

Good morning. I count 22 NEW POEMS today....so far. The past few days have had 40 or more poems, but little of quality to find. Today, the reverse is true -- there is less quantity, yet quality is almost everywhere.

Surgeon General’s Warning: The smoke of honesty that rises from these reviews may be hazardous to your emotional comfort, but really shouldn’t be, unless you are a high school sophomore, or strive to that end.

It goes without saying that each puff, each ring of smoke, is mine and mine alone.


Topping the list is Angeline's The Nightingale, beside which you will notice a richly deserved green E , the first time in quite a while that I have agreed with our master of letter's choice for that designation.

This is poetry that shows the power that is attainable through simplicity, when word choice is immaculate. It is a MUST READ , verse stunning in its fluidity, and rather than detail it, I give you a quote and urge you to go relish it for yourselves.

I am no creature built of tin,
covered with rubies, sapphires.
I cannot match a ticking beat,
a calculated chirp.
When evening shadowed
through my cage and laced
against my wings, I could not match
the brilliance of their emerald eyes.



As if one brilliant piece was not enough, Angeline also gives us Tin Soldier , a tender and beautifully-written piece, an extended metaphor of unrequited love. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

the ice of her silence delicate
and empty as her hollow fragility,
painted to the thin pink twist
of her smile, arch-seraphic.



Dennis Hale, as always, gives us a really well-done and tightly controlled semi-ramble that will surely make men and women alike smile. In the heat of kitchen passion, one moment of distraction and poorly-considered tuna fish references slam the doors of love in his face, leaving him carrying out the garbage, Santa Claus style. You will enjoy this!
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Honey...Do!

and he popped off
like the Class Clown

even as the damp panties
got all tangled around
her twitching thighs,
amid her impatient
chuffing groans
and sighs



Beelezebubbles , the Satan of soap, is up to his/her old anti-poetry shenanigans, but this one is actually likable, in a strange sort of way. You might find poetry bitch momentarily amusing.


I very much liked irishcatmeow's Fence Sitting , a well-structured and phrased poem about exactly what the name implies....indecision. Give it a try.

Awake, awake
from this numbing stupor
that keeps me paralyzed,
unable to move
from this splintering wood.



Sinsualmind puts together a clever and unique poem of sexuality with
Suga , using wordfusion repeatedly, turning the vocabulary of the language of lust in new directions. The constant and continued use of that novel ploy walks the line and may be viewed by some as crossing over into artifice, but it is a quite enjoyable read, in my mind. here's a tasteof her wordlust:

dripkisses
over myhisses and suck the suga from mytongue
let your thickness marinade in my hotwetness



The Angler by hippiedude is a short and well-crafted poem you may like.

Bone Words by jt4george is a beautifully written poem of secret, ancient custom, with no thought or word wasted. Poets who prefer to write with no punctuation, sometimes at a poem's peril, could learn much by reading this. It is so well-crafted and controlled that the absence of punctuation matters not one bit. Some might find the preface unnecessary, or better placed at poem's end, but, because of its conciseness and relevance, it didn't bother me at all. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

These are the bone words
spoken mother to daughter

wrapped in silk
sung by the fire



As always, in the poetry of annaswirls , as much can be found in the words that are not spoken as the ones that are there for your eyes, the silent words left hanging on the edge, dangling from the lips that suddenly think better and close. Her perfection of innuendo startles me over and over, and does again in
permission , a stark and mysterious invitation to the flesh, one that smokes with the forbidden, the slightly bent that must be kept from eyes behind locks, real and imagined, must be hidden down pitted alleys. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED


you must know I invite you to join us in flesh
tending to my unattended places



I have a few more to comment on, and will add them to the bottom of this post -- I need some air and coffee.

The rest:

Insatiable is a rhyme presented by Chris Cross, a new poet who obviously put a considerable amount of time and effort into the structue of this poem. I would suggest to him that the jingle-jangle rhyme scheme, while very well thought out and presented, is not appropriate to the theme and subject matter of the poem, harming it by making it seem trivial and carefree, and would best be used only with substance of a lighter vein.


Technicolor Betty Paige (what a great title!) by Merrymaker is a nicely conceived and well-written piece where the night sky transforms into a pin-up girl. Very light and enjoyable. I think the punctuation is inconsistent, present in spots and missing in others, and should be edited, for presence or absence.

I found Lust by MT_Pitcher an enjoyable read, but calling out for structural changes to improve its flow and readability. Each line is a complete sentence with period, and seems very uncomfortable to me sitting that way. Editing would turn this nice read into a very enjoyable piece.

Me & Her, She & I , Sinsualmind's second offering of the day, is a simply delightful poem of friendship and bond, and the better of her two efforts today. The images she calls forward are so simple and appropriate, you will want to read this more than once. There are small, punctuatory edits needed, but they in no way distract from this vibrant piece. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Me & her used to share grape crush's
and 4th grade crushes
and lemonheads & red hots
from Mista Bob's corner store before school
we knew it was against the rules



That's all, folks -- Please go read all the poems, not just the ones I mentioned -- Leave comments and critique....they were written for you and me!!.

If you find eny errors of omission on my part, do post the recommendations yourself!!

the Tuesday review bitch.

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Old 08-04-2004, 11:52 AM   #94
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Wednesday August 4

In my humble opinion. . .

Reading the Waters has an E for good reason.

I am the Cricket is one insect's plea to poet. Nice read.

Pink is subtly erotic and cute. I liked it.

1/8 Eden in a Photo is an inspired/envious look at better homes and gardens unless I missed the meaning completely. Lovely set of words.

Summer Siren caught my eye with some lovely phrases.

you are safety is an interesting look through the photographers lens with a poet's eye view. Loved this.

Auto-Cannibalism... is one to which I relate completely.

and one new poet: Guardian-Angel sank 11 poems into the mix. Go read and vote and welcome him to the group.

This is my last regular Wednesday review.

Blessed Be

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Old 08-06-2004, 01:05 AM   #95
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8-5-04

Two poems by Angeline:
Fairy Tale
Green bench. Summer day
paints patterns, spotlights words
between my hands.


I like the repetition of "green bench." "Turn the page" and read more of this wonderful poem.

Also:
His Shadow Speaks
I was his shadow once.
Perhaps you saw me,
hooked close by his heels,
flaring up ten times his size.


----------
Anti Philosophy
by No Bagles ©

This stanza should intrigue you enough to read the rest:
What if ---
--- we are all a mistake
just ethereal spit,
a blob of seed dripping down
Valhalla's restroom wall ---
--- the undivine result
of an unknown deity's
premature ejaculation?


----------

Check out:

lost socks...
by Dustystar ©
“If wishes were horses….” you remind me
for the four hundred and twenty third time
as i the beggar
climb aboard my curious pinto with the painted face
and ride


Wonderful way to begin a poem.

----------

And don't miss:

The Whore Whispers
by jd4george ©
of her recent lover. And
the whore whispers, “Does rain scream
before it dies?”


That last line will stick with me for awhile.

----------

Well worth a read:

imagning cinnamon
by undulation ©
in your pocket was that heart shaped rock
i brought back from santa monica.
it still felt sharp on one edge
(like the beach without you).


----------

Word Lust
by neonurotic ©
Seduction on a
subconscious level
sex with a backbeat
pound on through
start a new rhythm
vespers within


Sex with a backbeat. Backbeat. The first time reading through this, I thought it was Blackbelt. Either way, it works for me.

----------

Slow Burn Blues
by The_Fool ©
He shakes off the malaise
And reaches for his cigarette
Already burned down to nothing.
Lighting a new one off the butt,
He takes a drag, exhales,
Then sets it down, forgotten.

Her voice penetrates the smoky haze.
She sings about her honey,
She sings about her bad, bad man,
Sad and caressing, intimate and caring.
Her voice a long lingering goodbye kiss
From a lover leaving.


You can feel the blues in this poem.

----------
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Old 08-06-2004, 03:11 PM   #96
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11 New Poems



2 Poems by jdgeorge, they are both well worth the read!

A Side Trip to Timbucktu is a set of three poems. I have never read anything like them. Story- like and filled with insight.

Shadow Child teases out the depth of a moment, throwing in quotations to give a clear feel for the characters involved. A definate read.


No Bagels brings us
fucking
If you skipped over this one because of the title, go back and give it a chance. An important moment between parent and child summed up quite beautifully. I remember the first time my brother swore and the dinner table. It is a defining moment in that bond.


PinkMoon brings us 3-4 poems today, of which I most enjoyed
Daniel PinkMoon's rhyming does not bother me at all. It is subtle and unpredictable. I am not sure if this poet is following a pattern that I have not figured out. This poem intrigued me enough to read it several times, I found myself focusing on the words and not the overall meaning, I apologize I cannot give a more thorough review, but I do recommend reading this to check out PinkMoon's writing.



~These are the opinions of me, annaswirls,
one small woman in the middle of potty training two small boys....
and other such-and-the-like training of one large man....
This should be taken lightly, as always.
Please contribute to this day's review
if you feel you have something to add.
We are all in this together~


all the best to you from....

steamed rice annie



my thermometer is broken but I have a new kiss-o-meter installed~
there is no telling how high the rating system will go
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Old 08-07-2004, 07:45 PM   #97
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Thumbs up Two Great Among the Very Good!

I have read all of the STC poems posted today, and there are some mighty fine entries. Still, in my mind there are only two that are not only well written, but grab you by the heart and won't let go.

The first is PatCarrington's
Inhumanity - Ulster's Red Hair and the second, and my favorite of the Challenge is BooMerengue's Inhumanity.

Both poems deserve a much wider audience than Lit. can offer.

PatCarrington's offering is straight forward and powerful, and you know right away what she is writing about. Her words create strong emotional images and drag you along with the flow of her poem - Very well done.

BooMerengue's composition/creation (poem is too weak a word) does the opposite. Boo draws you in with beautiful words and warm images of happiness, and then nails you with the shock of brutality halfway through. The juxtaposition is unmatched in strength. This is a work of immense power. If she doesn't post it on a far broader forum, I hope she allow will us to send it to others or post it for her on other sites.

Go read these two excellent poems (IMHO), vote, comment, or send FB! - Read the other entries too. They are good also.

Reltne

(By the way, I am not anti-abortion or Irish.)
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Old 08-08-2004, 12:23 AM   #98
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Saturday, August 7th

The STC challenge definitely brought out some of the best in our lit poets. I'm still speechless for the most part.

Here's a link to the Inhumanity poems that have been placed on the New Poems List to date, that I can see or that have been brought to my attention.

Inhumanity by lostandfounder

Raggedy Ann by tungtied2u

Inhumanity by BooMerengue

Danielle by Belegon

inhumanity africa's orphans by BlueskyBeauty

Inhumanity by Angeline

Inhumanity by Zanzibar

Inhumanity by DeepAsleep

Inhumanity (Dresden 1945) by champagne1982

Inhumanity by TheMutt

Inhumanity: Kosovo, 1999 by Lauren Hynde and since Lauren left comments off I'll comment here. Ethnic cleansing and the bombing of civilians have been around since mankind first decided to solve their problems through direct action rather than thought and conversation. Again, as upsetting as we find it, inhumanity becomes all too human.

Inhumanity by book_man_03

Inhumanity - Ulster's Red Hair by PatCarrington
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Old 08-08-2004, 03:16 PM   #99
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Sunday, August 08, Reviews

Good morning poets

It's a fine, sunny, quiet Sea-Fair day here in Seattle with the Blue Angels due to tear up the sky and the hyrdoplanes to do the same in Lake Washington.

Not very many poems on the New Poems list today, but the ones that make up the list, are very powerful, serious writes for us enjoy this Sunday.




raw material by Maria2394 ©

Is a poems that has jargon I understand for once, because I've casted gold before. I like the use of metal work terms in this piece, it's new and unique.


Inhumanity - Our Past and Inhumanity - Our Future by The_Fool ©

Are stragglers from Saturday's STC, Inhumanity. I can tell ya'll honestly, I skipped this STC because I don't like delve into such tragedies or atrocities… I don't watch the first fifteen minutes of the evening news… I'm akin to a ostrich in that regard. I'm glad The Fool's two Inhumanities showed on my review day, both subjects of his poems are what I see every day as a medical care provider and that I wish were forefront to everyone else.
Quote:
Discards litter the floral garden
Seated in wheelchairs,
Or moving slowly with walkers.
Don’t look too long into their eyes
Empty of hope, empty of life.
Promises Kept by Tathagata ©

Is what I think a poem should be. A serious write with memories and music woven throughout.
Quote:
I place it on your pillow
like a midnight talisman
to cradle your thoughts,
a womb for wishes,
wolfbane, worrybane,
anxiety held at bay,
only pixies of reassuance
whisper sweetdream poems in your ears.
Also of good show today and enjoyed on the New Poems list was: The Plank Of Wisdom by dcpoet44 ©; Native Dawn by hippiedude ©; Contradictory Messages by irishcatsmeow ©; and Running Water Never Freezes by The Mutt ©


Nursery Ryme 1, the Duck! by Uncle Pervey ©

A light-hearted and humorous addition to my Sunday of what looks to be a the start of Unc's "Nursery Rymes for adults"
Quote:
Flickity flickity fluck,
Look at the silly duck.
Walking along, dragging his dong,
Leaving a trail in the dust!!
That's it folks, review for Sunday, and may I add, my opinion. Since everyone else has one of their own then go out to the New Poems page and express in support of your own kind


- neo

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Old 08-09-2004, 10:42 AM   #100
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new poems, Monday 8/09/04

Good Monday to you all
so far there are only 4 poems on the new poetry listing and they are all audio. I cannot hear the audio portions of the poems due to the limited capabilities of my ancient outdated computer, ( Bless Its Heart

New Poems

I will check throughout the day and post again if anymore show up, but in the meantime, check out the audio poems, there are 4 of them, including:

The Cruel Cut, by veiled, is a poem about female circumcism. This is a poem that should be read if you are not familiar with the procedure, it's tantamount to torture, in my opinion, anyway, check out what's being offered so far, vote and send FB when desired.
~~~

Wicked Eve gives us three, no, make that 4, stunners today, starting with:

Crash Report

...Venus colliding
with Uranus. Asshole,
gun it. Shoot across!
...

despite this touch of humor, it isnt a funny poem, and anyone, myself included, who has been in a really bad accident knows what a horrible, surreal feeling there is to the whole thing. Glad youre still with us Eve

Coffee Maker
this is without a doubt, the sexiest poem I have read on this wite in quite a long time, a must read

...like my grinder? I coo
from countertop perch.

you want your coffee,
quick drip. finger
...
~~~

]Iced[/url]
this one is listed as non-erotic, I dont see why, seems very erotic to me

I love this part-

...not spilt for his smooth sheet
memo for inking
cursive torso
firm thigh words
whore


and, Summer Drive. I won't quote because its a shortie, but is crisp and cool, much like a cloudburst in the middle of summer
~~~~~

college day's trio, by BlueskyBeauty is a uniqe look at a friendship through something I have never seen, a bowling metaphor! I thought this was a particularly strong phrase-
...strikes and spares
accomplished,
but not without the gutter.
some pins still remain
waiting for the strong arm..


~~~.

Noche Azul, by Eleanora Day is a fun read, with lots of interesting images, like this one-

...Tell Plato we dance
like cavemen stompin
silly Ally Oop struts
and Virginia reels,
guitars sweat shadows...


~~~

haunting hope, by kenseyk, could use a little refinement of the punctuation, but it is a good poem, I like the end

~~~

okay, I just loooked again and there are like 10 thousand new poems and all th e ones I Have read so far are really really worth reading, so I will be back in a bit, I have to do this in shifts cause hubby is off today and in and out of the room wanting stuff, hes a big ol baby, lol
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Dum Spiro Spero

Last edited by Maria2394 : 08-09-2004 at 11:34 AM.
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