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Old 07-11-2004, 07:15 PM   #51
SeattleRain
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purple review

Part 2 of purple review:


Lavender Spikeby Tristesse ©
Oh I laughed at this one! Tess brings us to where most of us have been at one time or another-- either a tourist (presumed or real) or one who scowls at them. I met my best friend who was harassing tourists (in my home town) and made the mistake of harassing me....

Quote:
Trafalgar Square - August noon
"Wot chew starin' at?"
~
I feel like I cannot say much more than has already been said by Angeline, fawnie, Tath, lipstick and Syndra. This is a classic Eve poem, I hope you get a chance to read it over!

Splended Cornelia
by WickedEve ©

Quote:
our way
may be splendid
cornelia curves with spastic
orange shoulders,

but i'm blind
below your belt.

~
My favorite so far, Randi Grail brings a new look into war, my heart almost stopped while reading this moving poem. I hope you get a chance to read and comment
Purple Heart
by Randi Grail ©

Quote:
"So this is what it looks like,"
he thinks,
and draws another breath
through a glowing cigarette.

~
champagne1982 introduces me to a fruit I am not sure I am familiar with and not sure I want to be, but the description is so alluring, I must find it. I will leave a tease. Read it, or read it again! I know I will.

Violent Violet
by champagne1982 ©

Quote:
Aubergine, you bitter fruit that takes a night of leeching
before even vegans can really find you to their taste.
The almost-black shade of purple on your skin,
glistens, swollen and near to bursting,
like a violent bruise.or a retching pastiness
on my tongue?

Next on the line up, Tathagata brings us "Victorian Amethyst"

Chance meetings, a fragrance that lingers after other memories have faded. What is it about those smells that can stir such passion, ask Tathagata, it seems he knows

A tease below, my favorite verse.

Victorian Amethyst
by Tathagata ©

Quote:
I asked the name
of the scent she wore.
It was sex and sadness,
flowers in decline.
~
I said I would do every purple poem, so here is one of mine. I originally had a purple stripe on her hat, and felt I wanted to remove it. I know purple black smoke as a replacement was a bit of a push, but I do love that color of black that looks purple at the right angle, a bit like my main character taken from the AV of a certain poet and the heroine in a horrible movie, this was the 10 seconds of the movie that I liked. This is not the poets best, reading it now I find some awkward phrasing and line brakes that even she could not defend.

Evensong
by SeattleRain ©

Quote:
an easy, empty gaze over the edge
where water meets land meets sky
she pretends to ignore the foriegn voices
while imagining they speak only of her


I am breaking this up...will be back with the rest and my little purple heart awards for my personal favorites...

SR
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Old 07-11-2004, 08:04 PM   #52
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part 3 purple stuff

damn this is my 3rd edit I keep screwing up the [color] whatever

errr

okay I will go get a drink so I will be calm when I do part 4

Lace Lavender
is the first of Mr. Mescalito's poems I have read. I like it. It has descriptions that tempt me to draw my own images of this scene, it is sentimental without being sappy and I actually liked the rhyme! It fits, it works, it is lovely.

Lace Lavender
by Mr_Mescalito ©
Quote:
Moths kamikaze the balcony light
Searching for a lunar sea
While I dream about lace lavender
You once had worn for me
~
Wow, I really really like Merrymaker'sSmoky Violet
I do not even know what to say, so beautiful to me -- the best poem about this subject I have read so far. Wonderful metaphor, beautiful language, kick in the ending...

Smoky Violet
by Merrymaker ©

Quote:
Sultry watercolor exchange
Exquisite ephemeral moments
Pain for pleasure
Reverence in each stroke
~

okay another one of mine thrown in as a little last minute joke, loving whack of rolled newspaper so to say

lavender spike
by SeattleRain ©

Quote:
her heel hovers just a moment
over his softest places
~

Tathagata brings us another hot purple lovely
Dark Plum
Dark Plum
by Tathagata ©

Quote:
Dyed by sunset
Surrounded by recent ripples
Of twisted white

One leg bent
Half an invitation?
The knee lava orange...
Despite what you might have heard, I do not give it away... you have to go read the rest

~

Okay I do not even know what to say about Lipsticksunset's the purple promise of Seattle ~ except that it must have been one hell of a dream! I have quoted my favorite line-- very unique phrasing.

the purple promise of Seattle
by lipsticksunset1984 ©

Quote:
purple,
the color of blood
gone wild.
~

neonurotic heats things up... such sexy, naughty boy! And talented on top of that!

Fashion Plum
by neonurotic ©

Quote:
Between breasts lie
three love bites
a personal signature
tattoo of "I've had you"
I love this. It is, for me at least, the ultimate to want to be marked by a lover, and this was a playful, yet serious part of this poem. Suggesting much more than at face value.

~

Another one by Neo, doing what he does best: Violet Cast this one is contemplative, reflective, I really like the tone and the subtle implanted rhymes:

Violet Cast
Violet Cast
by neonurotic ©

Quote:
Lost and wind swept
caught in a blue moon

Here on dunes
watching white caps
thoughts go wander lust
deep in nostalgia
Leaving the ending for you...

okay time for a break my butt has fallen asleep
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Old 07-11-2004, 08:41 PM   #53
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part 3 purp-o-lischous

Opening Night
by Liar ©

I really liked this! Brought me back to that sweet excitement of the prelude...the waiting... like 8th grade footsie under the table, heart racing!

At any rate, this is a sweet and hot poem, like a fancy coffee desert drink-- the commenters said it much better, go read the PC's for more, here is my favorite:

Quote:
and the evening dragged on
glacier river slow
not without it's moments
toes rubbed together
under the table
mouthed loveyous
behind napkins
Syndra dressed up her fun poem
Playful Purple Poets in a rhyming, playful view of some familiar names on the poetry board. Gotta have innocent fun sometimes you know...this was fun

Playful Purple Poets
by Syndra Lynn ©

Quote:
On the Sapphire Hills neath an Amethyst Moon
the Lit poets played in a passionate swoon.
~

black raspberryby annaswirls ©

Leave it to Perks to notice that the rest of the poem is missing!

This is the first part of a longer poem, Anna beheaded it and only included the head, as it said what she really wanted to be said. The rest just had wimpy mommy missing her babies and the enjoyment that comes from sharing... and winds up taking all the best berries home....once she is re-fueled

confession: they were red raspberries, and it was

"red tides roll in across a leaf green sea" (damn she is a cheater or something)


anna says thanks for the nice comments!

~

omg there are 5 more but I cannot go on, I promise promise I will get them done before the sun rises on Monday....

peace,
out

love

seattle
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Old 07-11-2004, 11:08 PM   #54
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Sunday, July 11 MENTIONS

Firstly, I'm sorry this post is late in the evening for most of you.

A flood of poems hit the new list today since there wasn't any posted Friday or Saturday and ya'll had to stare at my Taco Bell Don Juan two day running

Today in my mentions, I've skipped the Purple poems as Seattle said she would 'do' them. Much thanks to Syndra and Angeline for jumping in there and supporting fellow poets

I found a few poems on the New Poems page that I thought were nicely done and would like to share them with ya'll:


Angeline brought us a sonnet this Sunday, Tenor Sonnet . It had wonderful wording and the rhyme scheme was weaved so very well. I'm sorry. I don't write forms so all I can say is go read and enjoy.

Birdsong is another story—I get this and enjoyed it too. The first stanza caught my attention and made me say OoOo-wee — go check out for yourself and see.

It was a black and white day,
no impressionist strokes
swept sky and hour.
The day was condensed
on screens, alpha-numeric
fine print ticked
insectile moments.



Ancient echoes by tungtied2u Had an excellent piece that I thought had some very rich and detailed images.

annaswirls, a consistently great poet brought us two dimensional twilight, today. I included the whole poem as it was such an exceptional tightly woven piece of work:

time turns dimmer switch down,
and black point creeps up up until
all color qualifies as just
another shade of black

five bats swoop
without depth
construction paper cut outs
flap and turn silhouettes across
the sunless grey blue sky



matriarch, a new to me poet, submitted a batch of poems this past weekend and I thought Constant Companions to be the best offering because of stanzas like this one:

I remember Reality
And in the remembering is born Want,
Satisfied only by more remembering,
Creating more Want.



Another new 'to me' poet is Shadowsandflames with a great rambling piece, life is a strip club


Medicine Man by flyguy69 has excellent voice in this piece, which is very erotic, dark, and ssssly.

Sweat beads on her brow
Diamond drip
Torchlight hot
Fevered plea for antivenin

Copperhead sting
Too late to
cut an X and suck
The venom’s in her bloodstream now
Searching
Probing
Looking for weakness
For a way in
Testing capillary walls with the soft
push of a razor



Well, poets that it for the long weekend without poetry. If you haven't already, go out there read, comment, and vote on the New Poem's. Let your voices be heard, mention the poems you felt were good reads here in this thread so that other's can share.


Take it EZ!

- neo
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Old 07-11-2004, 11:19 PM   #55
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The Fool brings us a villanelle (thanks Syndra for letting me know)

Victorian Amethyst
by The_Fool ©

Quote:
She welcomed every message from her guy,
The English heirloom necklace that he’d sent.
A thought of love lost made her want to cry.
I live the middle line in this stanza. It was something so concrete, something to hold on to in such a sad poem. :sigh:

~


Purple Pearl
by BooMerengue ©

Wow I do not rightly know if this is a form or not but it knocked me out with the line repeating in the next stanza. Flowed so perfectly from on to the other-- woven together to tell this story, kick ass Boo-
sorry to insult anyones intelligence, but I have to point out the cool repeating thang she got goin' I bolded the lines, she didn't!

Quote:
Purple Pearl stepped out one day
with purpose in her stride;
she headed straight down Procter Street
the day her marriage died.

She headed straight down Procter Street
to Lawson's County Jail.
"I want to see my man." she said
"I've come to pay his bail."
~

Merrymaker brings us another one in



Purple Eternity
by Merrymaker ©

I like this verse the best:

Quote:
Memories gently summon
Time twirls her skirts aside
Places, experiences and beyond
Beckon hearts desire

~

I counted 98 poems that appeared today. I feel badly for the ones that were buried in the pile.

Please if I missed a purple poem, let me know, I want to give everyone the fair mention.

Awesome work!

seattle see you soon










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Old 07-11-2004, 11:43 PM   #56
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Seattles Purple Picks

Very impressed with the Purple Paint game.

Everyone of the 25 poems met and surpassed the challenge! There were so many I want to give my favorites, based on which ones touched me enough to remember them even at this hour:

(note duh I made my mark purple and could not be seen, so I am changing it to a scarlet letter what the hell it will show up)

~A~ mountain majesty
by perks ©

~A~ Lavendar Spike
by *Catbabe* ©

violets'n blue
by bluerains ©

Avatara
by The Mutt ©

dark secrets
by fawnie ©

Lavendar Trumpet
by Angeline ©

~A~ Lavender Spikeby Tristesse ©

Splended Cornelia
by WickedEve ©

Purple Heart
by Randi Grail ©

~A~ Violent Violet
by champagne1982 ©

Victorian Amethyst
by Tathagata ©

Evensong
by SeattleRain ©

Lace Lavender
by Mr_Mescalito ©

~A~ Smoky Violet
by Merrymaker ©

lavender spike
by SeattleRain ©

Dark Plum
by Tathagata©

the purple promise of Seattle
by lipsticksunset1984 ©

Fashion Plum
by neonurotic ©

~A~ Violet Cast
by neonurotic ©

Opening Night
by Liar ©

Playful Purple Poets
by Syndra Lynn ©

black raspberryby annaswirls ©

Victorian Amethyst
by The_Fool ©

~A~ Purple Pearl
by BooMerengue ©

Purple Eternity
by Merrymaker ©


I am sure I missed some and it is inexcusable. Forgive....

night!

SR
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Old 07-12-2004, 10:35 AM   #57
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I'm not sure if they've been mentioned, I'm just doing a fly-by here. But just in case they haven't... well, I read all but the first ten or so poems posted yesterday, and these were my top picks. If you'd like to read my comments on them, they're written there underneath the poems.

By far, my favorite of the day was The Porridge King by Middleagepoet. If you didn't read this, or decided to skip over it because of length of the poem list, you're missing out. It's a heavy-hitter.

Purple Pearl by Boo Merengue I'm sure was mentioned all over the purple universe, but if you're going to do rhyme, putting it within the confines of another structure is the way to go.

A Thank You Poem by dreamsweet. The title won't grab you, but the poem will. It's delightful.

oh and of course,angeline's Birdsong I'm sure that one has been mentioned, but it's good, so why not?

Anyway, I'm about to take a gander at today's poems, and I might get back to you with those too.
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Old 07-12-2004, 04:01 PM   #58
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new poems 7/12/04

another attempt its such good poetry, I am sorry its taking me so long

Honest days, by tarablackwood22 is as smooth as a creamiscle. but I bet the hardworking people who toil the soils wouldnt think the work was that easy. Tara blesses us with a beautiful, easygoing accont of some hard working people. a must read

yellow, womanwords is a short, but very interesting poem. This author takes us through a pain that is so often difficult to admit exists, much less easy to share. I hope to see more from this writer

SP Essence #2 by FaberusPetrus is without a doubt a tribute poem. This is my fave of the day. Its wild and frenetic, and exuberant, much like the style of SP who touched so many people here at Lit. Please read it and let the new author here at LIt, ( or maybe a familiar one with a new name?) know how you feel about his/her work. Its an excellent read

Angeline brings us a couple of beauties today. First up is Shhhhhhhh

...It doesn't matter eventually.
All the pain that eats
away what we think is left
gnaws right down to bone,
sucks up marrow, absconds
with whoever you were, leaves
a soul ill-fitted in skin
like a too-big glove.
..

and she offers us Time Glossa] which I am certain is a form poem, and a marvelous one at that, but I just dont know what the form is!! I should view this as a learning experience, so I hope someone will tell me what I just dont know great work angeline, I am impressed

next up is Liar, with Definition: Daniel.

Liar, this is just hearfelt poignant poetry!! I love this. especially this part-


...How do I ever
ever ever script
that kiss, that kiss,
that god damn
tender tendril
golden probes
that unfroze my numb
and never again
frightened heart?
...



okay, I was saving this one. Its the first one I saw when the new poems came up, I dont know why, it just grabbed me. Despite the title, yes, I realize, its a poem that says its a poem...sometimes that is important, I think it was good that he clarified here and didnt just call it "sterile"

A Sterile Poem
its not really what you think, it is harsh, well, life is harsh and sometimes we forget that thare are others in this life who hurt and feel as strongly or even stronger about relationships and encounters than we do. This is a good reminder.

Returning to find, by the Mutt is an erotic poem that makes me wanna jerk my panties off and well, I dont wear panties, but you get the idea. Its a HOT HOT poem, I enjoyed it very much

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Old 07-13-2004, 05:59 AM   #59
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NEW POEMS - Tues 7/13

TUESDAY REVIEWS - The poems that caught my eye.

WickedEve, who I hear and hope is doing just fine, returns limping from her knee operation with operation blue and Bad Knee and Little Milestone : She gives us a peek at her operation, and in the second poem, a wonderfully written hobble to a mailbox whose distance seems unreachable in her infirmity. It is pure Eve at her best:

You must understand
how weary I tarry

by the box, flag down,
carried to this place
by nearly defeated gait,

not to mention the distance.

No distance greater--
not the universal hem.
Even my death is closer
than this box,


A new name, PinkMoon_poet, offers
Portabella Hop, dancing as she fries her mushrooms. It is a very impressive effort indeed for a first posting:

Portabellas sizzle and hop
among the garlic and onions
in a sea of melted butter

I do not merely sing of dancing,
I am here, and I turn and I sway
in the rhythm of dreams-



Having read her poetry since she arrived, I am so impressed with the progress Fawnie's verse has made. She seems to improve daily, and her offering today,
oceans apart, is her best yet, as she explores new structure and captures the eye with wonderful phrasing :

whispered howls,

sweet gusts of wind,
your autumn breath
inhaled through
yearning lips.


Another new name, FaberusPetrus, brings us
SP Essence #3 . I was so impressed that I went back to read #1 and #2. They were equally as impressive. Though a new name, this poet's verse is already clearly advanced, and bears some very familiar rings to it. Draw your own conclusions, but here is a sampling of this wonderful poem:

Like seaweed lays before dying
all a line and drying
before grinding
into universal dust


Terrific stuff!

A poet with a large list of postings going back to '01, Bitch Boy, returns with 3 parts of Conversations with L. . Here is an excerpt from
Conversation with L -Part 1:

Love is the ultimate dishonesty
Disrupting our senses
And bringing us undone
It is false logic
And within its grasp you cannot trust
Your very soul


A regular poster whose work I love, Toward a Word, gives us a very intersting look at entrapment in a metaphorical prison in
Sentenced:

don't blame the guards
you are just as much
their jailers

there is no word from the governor
you weren't framed
you're not innocent
none of us are
we were born convicted


Tristesse, whose writing is always stunning, offers the beautiful
Realisation:

not dappled shade
but the leaf-filtered sun
not the cemetery
but the buried history


The little girl I rent a room in the basement to has a post today. She's too much of a pain in the ass for me to judge objectively. You try. lipsticksunset's
café.

bluerains is a poet whose elegant language often knocks my socks off. Today's
tuned is no exception:

tuned to
meadow of violets
where violins play
the trio of tranquil tunes
undressed hearts eyes



I know whenever a poem of mine is mentioned, I get an e-mail form notification. I have no idea how to do that. If anyone does, please enlighten me so all those mentioned can receive one for today.

Of course, if anyone feels a poem worthy of mention slipped past me, you are free to add it in a post below this.


white wishes, Tara

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Old 07-13-2004, 10:38 AM   #60
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hippiedude had one yesterday, Iit was on my original list that the cyber brat ate. anyway, here it is, read it and vote!! I know there are plenty of TS Eliot fans out there and this one needs your attention, okay ?

Prufrock's Late Lesson

ps, tara. to send a note to the author, which I totally forgot to do yesterday, you just click on the FB link and say, hey, your poem is mentioned on the new poems thread, and include the link,ok?
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Old 07-13-2004, 11:04 AM   #61
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Well

Ms. Blackwood had her glorious ( so i've heard) ass up way before me and handled the reviews on her own.
What a gal!!


So I thought I'd mention a couple from the last couple of days that, due to all that purple goo , may have been over looked



Heat - duckiesmut

Is short and sweet and has a lovely feel to it
A little gem

The A B C's of Lovemaking - TheCocoaCure

A great version of the "A B C" challenge



a nursery rhyme - Man Ray

Remember Andrew Dice Clay?
He lives on in this adult take on Mother Goose



Yellow - womanwords

This is a gem
Much more complex that it seems
give it a look and wonder...why??



me and a waterdrop - dreamsweet

I loved this.
a different POV and one of those " frozen moments" where something tiny becomes the focus of your life for a minute or two
Give it a read

that's it for now
enjoy
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Old 07-14-2004, 08:22 PM   #62
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After reading every poem . . .

these are my picks for the day:

once thought of as cotton by rudhira is amazing. It has some flaws, needs some serious trimming, but the phrases captured me and the imagery held me fast. Go vote and leave some feedbacks/specific suggestions. Really good work that could be great.

*****

a different kiss by echoes_s is a wonderful piece of poetry.

Quote:
Your voice spills out in a sigh
that mingled with the wind,
spice-laden kiss
and another- the other side of the specter

Widow's peak is also a beautiful read. Great work, E!

You ARE prolific today! I found another stunner.
good morning

*****

Tara , one of my favorite Lit poets, wrote the stars and breezes of Boston for another of my favorite Lit poets. It's a beautiful read.

*****

En route by trendyredhead is the first poem she submitted. I hope she gives us more. This is great.

*****

LOVED this word play by Dustystar -Illiteration Here is one example of her intentional play on homonyms.

Quote:
It seems to be smudged and hard to read. Or perhaps
It’s just me. I thought allusions were something
Magicians did.
*****

My favorite poem today is Cathedral Grove by Miss tristesse This is alliteration at its BEST. The phrases as fresh and refreshing. Here is a sample:

Quote:
listen in the silence
to the life-force unfolding
the crackle of existence
and the racket of redemption
*****

Hope your Wednesday is wonderful and poetic.

PLEASE READ & VOTE!

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Old 07-15-2004, 11:28 AM   #63
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July 15 Part 1

I suppose I'm the reviewer today. I don't know. Well, I've been reading. I started with the poem Tara and stopped at the poem Angeline. I'll do the rest later.

By the way, I'm only giving the titles and an excerpt. Focus on the poetry. If you like it, click the link and discover who wrote it. Won't that be fun?

Tara
City to city
sugared with Atlantic sand.
Sister, do you feel cold
when lake blows ice


This is not Gone with the Wind's Tara, though Scarlet would have loved it just the same.

~~~~~


Wyndham Gaol in Wyndham Towne
In the beginning there were holes in the ground
and ladders were lowered into them so the prisoners could climb down in to their cages.

The ladders were then
withdrawn.


This is very raw and powerful. You may not enjoy some of the images but you will feel the words.

~~~~~

thirty seconds for 5 mil
cancel my subscription
to your travel magazine
I don't need to dive into
your crystal clear blue water


A wonderful poetic rant.

~~~~~

Wish You Were Here
The first thing to look for
when you pop the capsule lid

should be the metallic silver
Pink Floyd Pyramid


This poem is so fresh and funky that it's a must read!

~~~~~

Amante VII (Hypersonnet)
Please do not ask, Amante, if we love.
Darkness is nigh; the moon is lemon pale,


More Amante. I could wrap myself in this poem and just feel blissful.

~~~~~
breathless
now that thunder is barely a whimper
coaxed from lingering clouds
I think I can feel the universe breathe


In this poem, breath stops short of completion but the poem leaves you feeling complete.

~~~~~

Eviction of Sinister Toad
With his right eye missing,
he’s a reptile with a mission


You must read any poem that has a creature on a mission.

~~~~~

Tiny Glass Eggs
She collects tiny pearls and glass eggs
children's things that might have glittered in the sun
unraveling shadows that pass beyond sorrow


This is simply a wonderful poem that you don't want to miss.

~~~~~

swoop
monarch princess,

fluttering
in calm ocean breeze,
warily avoiding


A lovely little poem. Quick and enjoyable read.

~~~~~

Wangui Waithira
the chokora lounging
on the dirt paths of Jevanjee
plastic bottles of glue
resting beneath their noses
waiting for Wangui and her sisters
the nightly game of rape
the cruel pinches and twisted arms
her khanga binds her legs


Painful to read but incredibly written. This is a story that will draw you in. I highly recommend this poem.

~~~~~

Angeline
talk to me sister,
hold my hand
and walk me to the water.


A friendship poem done the right way.
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Old 07-15-2004, 12:26 PM   #64
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Just a few

I Liked

Alejo - Randi Grail
When I saw this on the passion thread I fell in love.
How can so few words summon up such longing and tenderness...
Go read..please.


Grape Thistle Feng Shui - Wicked Eve
Even though I got it all wrong..I still like it.
Have a look and see what Your verdict is
Some great images as always from Hopalong Eve


Wish You Were Here - denis hale
Possibly one of my favorites he's ever done..
Some great writing

Quote:
to the weeping of angels
in call and response
with a murder of crows
licking napalm jelly
off the corpse-claw feet
of children scorched and
shriveled as lumps of coal.
blew me away

and his advice to aliens is sure to help the see our culture as it should be seen




The Unified Unwhole - alaya

Sex With Trees - alaya


Alaya is a friend of mine I talked into coming over here from the place I used to write
so yes...this is a bit biased
But I love her style and the way she puts words and images together and I know some of you will too
have a look
and thank you


Never-Never Land -SelenaKittyn

a modern day follow up to Peter Pan that I loved
The Lost Boys are Packer fans
a very clever little poem


time for lunch...I have a few more I want to piont out also
remember...if there's something you think deserves attention...post it here


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Old 07-15-2004, 01:56 PM   #65
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I think recognition should be paid to Trendyredhead for her "Lost and Found" poem, if not for her other, Afraid to Remember, (though it didn't gleam like L&F). There are some moments that dull a bit, but she's got great promise, and I saved this poem to my hard drive. Gotta find the link, now.


She drew me in with losing the subject of the poem somewhere between St. Louis and Toledo, but here's just a little tidbit from "Lost and Found" that I loved, to entice you to be drawn in yourself.


I think you must have
floated away with it,
clinging to a shingle
of someone else’s
house of dreams


The poetry was hot today, so I can understand the need to pick and choose, but I wanted to give my shout out for this poet.
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Old 07-15-2004, 02:06 PM   #66
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a few poems/poets have been left off today's list that are indeed meritous of a mention.

Number one...
Wangui Waithira by jd4george a poignant look at third world country girls and how they support themselves. bring a box of tissues.

Wangui straddled atop
the city garbage can
absently swatting
away the flies hovering
over piles of garbage
and human excrement
oblivious to the calls for dignity
whispered in tea rooms
round the world
safe and hidden

from the shop lights that trace
the silhouette of Wangui
her soiled pink teddy bear T-shirt
hiding the slightest swelling
where eventually
there will be breasts
the spot where
childhood ends
and the girls say
"go for the road"


Angeline by tarablackwood this poem makes me want to grab my inner girl and play at the beach too. Well written.
the plastic pails and shovels
are buried there,
crayola red and blue, hidden
like a squirrel’s chestnuts
for winter.

we can dig away the hunger,
the cold,
the sands
of discontent,
return
to the shade of big umbrellas,
to curls and cotton candy
and fun house laughter
on the walking boards
of time.


and how could Liar be left off? his,
Royal Straight Blush fucking rocked.

Shocked focus liplocked
to beercans and Stoli shots.

Trading clichés for clothing,
close to ridiculous,
closer to reality
than any dumbstruck
dream before.

They ogle, adore,
snigger, affectionate leer
carbon copy buddy-up
locker room chuckles,
as if they even knew
a fraction of the truth,
careless, carefree,
cross-legged
before them.


oh, and his...<he was two for two today>
Not Quite Rocket Science
the emotion and experience behind this poem is bigger than the simplicity of it lets on.

and outside by RISINGSTAR
although, I switched it around a bit in my comments below the poem, it's still worth a read. This has a lot of potential and this poet deserves to be watched.


I'm gonna say something about doing critiques and commenting... again. No matter how much ball less person named "anonymous" spouts about the inner circle. If it's a goddamn good fucking poem, I'm going to mention it. If they don't like it, and want to call it the "inner circle" let them, because I know my inner circle is full of bloody good poets, not bitches who fucking whine instead of learn and write.
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Old 07-15-2004, 10:48 PM   #67
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If you haven't already.....read his poems

I know his poems have been mentioned already.... but for those with reading glasses..


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Old 07-18-2004, 12:49 PM   #68
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My Piece by GratefulFred
Heh, I was going to pan this poem from the get go, I thought it was just another singsong rhyming poem, almost... almost. That last line, told me what an idiot I was and sent back with my fine toothed comb. I found a few more gems when I listened.
First of all, the title, witty. Secondly, there are a few lines that were really poetic when I understood the context...

"How I make you scream out into the night
Mine is the pleasure to deliver.
Fret none my love for even a moment
As I make your body quiver."

this is the most cliched stanza a poem ever had, if it meant what it said, but because of the ending twist, it's almost poignant.
I giggled at the end of poem when I saw that you got me. Thanks for the grin.

Purity Corrupted gives us Untitled
This is a little poem, about the edgeplay asphyxia. I am impressed with one line in this poem. I would throw all else away and focus on this, and build the poem around it. It's beautiful.
" And bruises bloomed blue roses on white flesh"
As far as BDSM poems go, no, it's not incredible, but that one line is worth reading, because you can actually feel its poetry. I think she copped out by not coming up with a title. And yes I know lots of the classics didn't title their poems either, I think they copped out too. *grin* I believe I'm getting as cocky as theDR4KE, now.

Ripening by irishcatsmeow I would throw out all your "the"s, and remove the double spacing. This poem is a combination of some really cliched phrases and yet you still get the feeling you're supposed to. It doesn't completely work for me, but I reworked it a bit anyway. I think it's a work in progress. I think if you used the subtle structure that appears in some of the stanzas into the rest of the poem, it would be stronger and more complete. For instance if you had "ing" first words in each stanza like you do in the fourth and fifth stanza, and if after the "ing" word you were refering to something specific of "her", or if the third and fourth line of every stanza had alliterative first words, like they do in the second stanza, this would be more cohesive and a totally different, and I believe better poem.


ripe for picking
juicy, succulent
maturing slowly
on verge of
blossoming

waiting momentarily
fertile ground
touch of light
taste of ambrosia
flourishing

hands reaching
sustaining delicate fruit
notch of firmness
jolting freshness
yielding

recognizing her offering
mouth watering
senses heightened by
relinquishment
and refreshment

devouring her nectar
slurping, quenching
gorging
reciprocal delights
sated from flavor


trendyredhead's Seduction okay, she surely knows how to write a poem. However, I'm gonna fault her for a few of my own pet peeves. Namely, the fact that her writing, is better than some old beat up cliches. Seduction? come on girl, you can think of a better title and thread to weave through your poem. You also know that the reality of saying it is not better than making me feel it. However, if you're going to do the whole "seduction", "so right – so wrong", "Master of Seduction", "Temptress", " Just take me I am yours" thing, this is the way to do it. Btw, I love the way this poem reads, in spite of all my picking. I can't wait to read it to Eumenides when she's out of lockdown. *laughing*. The line "a junkie of your candlelight loving" damn, that is GOOD!!!

Past and Present by trendyredhead
I think we've got a poet here. There's a simple relativity within your poems. I enjoy how your words seem to really portray an emotion, without saying I feel this, I hate that, this sucks, that's great, or anything as trite. I'm on an article hunt today, it seems. Because I would remove a few of yours. I do not like "the" before cobalt in your first part. I'd love a comma after the "me" in the line preceding it, for clarity, if you do remove the "the", but for some reason it annoys me. It's like if someone actually typed a word in the middle of van gogh's starry night. It's that bothersome for me. The thing with using such beautiful metaphors, is that if they're not simple and clear, they're just a facsimile of the reality of nature. Nature, you'll find is beautiful because of its imperfections, not in spite of them. This poem, is too beautiful in imagery, and not simple enough in word choice. Am I making any sense? It's a good poem, I'd give it some more work, but hell, I'd be impressed with myself if I wrote it. You're at such a higher plateau in your writing than I, and I am jealous. *scratches your eyes out*

DeepAsleep gives us Bailey
I don't know what it says about a person, a man, that owns a cat, and loves it so completely, but I'm starting to glean a certain respect for it. I don't understand it, because I'm not in my element around them, and this poem has made me curious.
I love the phrase "white horse of a cat". It's original, and gives a certain imagery that you have no doubt about the cat's size or character. Good word choices there.
This is the only part of the poem where I get lost..
"I would have named you
Captain Pancake
to satisfy your lunatic eyes.
penchant for tapping me on the arm
when I'm sitting around not paying attention to you"
Why does calling someone captain pancake have anything to do with their lunatic eyes? And I feel like something is missing, a line perhaps, most definitely a feeling or a word or two, because "penchant for tapping me on the arm when I'm not paying attention to you" is a fragment, and your poem, the rest of it is complete sentences, even though they're broken up, the image is complete. Maybe "your" penchant? but then I don't know what the heck that has to do with captain pancake or lunatic eyes either.
However, I still enjoyed your insight and thanks for letting me share your perspective on being a cat owner, as I have no reference in experience or observation.



apparently, Kevin is the object of psychoboy's obsession um, it's probably a good thing that writing is theraputic. Run, Kevin, RUN!!!
as for the poem, it's ok. I would have rather you talked in images instead of reality, but I think I would have been even more scared for Kevin if you'd made it that intense. I really hope, this is just a poem, for Kevin's sake, and your reality is sane.


Fastidious Kinky gives us Mary was a litte tease... Hey Ohhhhh, *takes puff of smoke a la Andrew Dice Clay*
I'm not fond of sexual parody of childhood nursery rhymes. That being said, it's cohesive, and in parts quite witty in its rhyme scheme.

Tath's Madpoet you were just writing and writing and writing... Did you edit this? I'm interested in your process with this one. Whether it was poetic stream of consciousness, or you actually edited, redited and so on. I think everyone should write a bar poem or three. I enjoy your perspective. As a poem, I'm not sold completely. I like some of your imagery, it just feels a bit disjointed in thought to me, and not smooth and ethereal as a ghost walk should.

Toward a Word by Dustystar
"And the colour exact of an eternal sky.
It explains why love is a serrated circle and why it bites when
It goes round."
look at this poetry. I love "colour exact" not exactly sure why but it's striking and doesn't feel contrived to me. But those next two lines, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I might have to quote that a time or two, may I? This feels like one stanza of a bigger poem, but for one word, it's long enough, isn't it? *grin*

Watermelon by SelenaKittyn
lalallala, BAM. I was having a slice of life in your poem, enjoying the hot summer day, the view out the window, and then you just knifed me in the gut with the reason. Nice job. The poem, without saying it, gives the feeling of that tight innerthigh, loss cringe. I know you know what I'm talking about. And baring that need for someone to be aware and validate you was brave. I'm not sure I am trusting enough to be open enough to write my pain like that. Stealing Apples at Cocheco Farms by jd4george
If you think your poem needs a perspective by writing a little preface before the poem, don't you think your poem is actually incomplete? I do.
I loved your first stanza, with all it's little internal poetry toolz. The second and third, both felt a little disjointed to me and if I hadn't read that blurb they would have been incomplete, so the poem itself, for me, is incomplete because I have no idea who "she" is in the second stanza, and the third talks of rebellion but I have no idea what happened. There's no closure.
You are such a talented writer. Your imagery is unfailingly poignant, I think you copped out with the beginning blurb, instead of writing a complete poem.

FarberusPetrus' SP Essence #4
one day, hopefully, I will understand with great clarity what his poetry means. I hate that I don't "get it", but I can't stop reading him, because I feel like I'm just about to. He's not easy, but he's poetic. Every time I read him, I'm thrown back to hs, laying in my bed with my dictionary, my biography and the poetry of Ezra Pound. One day, for the poet's sake, it won't be post-mortem.

Eumenides Pants brings us Caffeinated Capabilities dude, love your title. *grin*
This is such a fast read, full of amazing alliteration and some buzzing imagery. I'm not sure the super-size fries/salad metaphor fits with your tea and coffee conflict, but I like it anyway. I love reading this poem, cause it feels so hot and yummy on my tongue. I'm a coffee drinker too. We'll have to do it sometime... *smirk* I said do it.

tarablackwood's loitering for dawn
"as I stare off
at Ireland, smoking
Marlboros to the filter, the night
has pity and undresses
his diamonds, jewels
of fine karat and quality
to consider for play or purchase,"
that is one of the best astronomical images I've ever read.
" I walk the streets with cats" I love when a simple clear line says so much more, in context and relativity.
THe only thing I would say about this poem is that the brilliant parts outshine all the fodder in between. I wish this was more compact without as many highs and lows, just intense. I feel like you're telling instead of the experience just "being", when here and there the poem is what it is<that's good by the way>. Some really incredible imagery here.

second-class verdict by perks you should write poetry instead of ranting. I have no idea what this poem is about. Where's your clarity? I laughed I cried, this isn't one of your best though. You and I should do it later. I said do it again.

The Louis Smith Shufflestep by jd4george
ohhhh this is fast. You should hear me read it. This is my favorite style of poetry. I don't know what "breaking lights to thorazine" means, I know how it makes me feel, but I don't get it. I like your woven imagery that repeats and expands, I'm missing assonance and alliteration which always makes this fast slam better. But the thorazine, well, that might be the reason.

steve porter's look at all the laughing dead is yummy his internal structure and subtle rhyming/assonance tickle meeeee!!!
"they mingle with their own
if simply just out of habit
the talker and the walker
the folder and the holder

and this room feels cold but
no one really seems to care
theres no bodyheat anywhere
near these listing cadavers"

out of habit *smirk* more like out of time, out of body experience. *laughing*. folder, holder... cold. how brilliant is that segue? care and where rhyme again, and then we're back to the listing cadavers which is such an image. THis is just damn well written.

eagleeyes submitted his Cornered Stand that started out on the "all of a sudden passion" thread When Eumenides and I first read this, we were talking about voice inflection, classical reading of poetry verses a slam style. We both agreed that this poem is good no matter how you read it, and the inflection, or the drama of the voice doesn't make it better, it just is better. I'm not sold on the "now or never" at the end it feels too... well, used, and almost like you got too lazy to find your own words, or your own feelings. I think it is an honest feeling, the whole "shit or get off the pot" thing, and maybe I'm being philosophical here, but we should be more original that immediately thinking in that frame, yeah? I really should write about the poem instead of what's in my brain. *grin*

Liar gives us Precious Cargo
I think your papi is my mami. This is a good insight to the reality, the physical tangibility of someone's faith, and comfort. I relate to this on a personal level.


okay I've done Precious Cargo through My Piece, I'm taking a break.
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Old 07-18-2004, 04:10 PM   #69
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Sunday 18, 2004 Reviews

Long week here in the Emerald City with Sea Fair about to begin and the Bite of Seattle at the Space Needle (which is a local resturaunt smorgasbord you can get fat and nasty over.) I also see that it has been just as long on poetry here on Literotica.

Anna will be here after awhile to do her reviews, but my Sunday mentions are ready to go... earlier than usual


55-ish or so Sunday poems hit the new poems list. Quite a few good poems today and here are the ones I read, voted, and enjoyed the most (on the top half the page of course):

~ ~ ~

Victorian Amethyst by Tristesse ©

Just a trailer of this wonderful short piece that reminds me of a scene from Cameron's Titanic
Quote:
quote:

Her eyes look off to distant thoughts
outside the ornate frame
and something else
a sadness too
lips apart and slightly curved
not smiling but at peace
“Acceptance” – she would say later
as her hand caressed the same
purple stone at her neck.
~ ~ ~

NeoPetal 5 by WickedEve is of course 5th in the NeoPetal series to which I find to be very interesting as the work is so very different from what I usually read on the board. NeoPetal 5 is a surreal erotic addition to this superb series.

~ ~ ~

Out of the two poems I read today by miss Angeline, Working Girl and Nailed, the latter I found to be particularly witty because I've heard my mother mentioning the same with her thick southern accent and that there is reason enough for a fight or be fed to the gators.
Quote:
quote:

It was a beautiful relationship.

I loved that woman until
she talked me into layers.
It took three damn years,
but my hair is long again,
although my nails
are momentarily
undone.
~ ~ ~

At a Loss for Words tungtied2u is a excellent write that is haunting, if not chilling reminder.

~ ~ ~

New to me, poet, DeepAsleep had several poems that I thought were excellent, but Rocks, Splash of Water was such a great visual and tactile image it caught my eye as it mentioned good drink and felt real to me
Quote:
quote:

Three fingers of scotch
Tastes like autumn.
Wet cinnamon leaves
and
golden light
The first sneaky
bite,
winter tapping at my shoulder
~ ~ ~

The Letter by hippiedude is a well balanced poem with some smooth rhyme and alliteration on reflection and regret.

~ ~ ~

RazzRajen's Loss, is it? is an interesting piece that I thought had strong visual images the poem works one's mental adaptability as do all his poems in my opinion.

~ ~ ~

Another new to me poet, jd4george, also subimitted a few excellent offerings today. The Salad Bar Gunslinger is an entertaining poem with a great title as were all jdgeorge's poems.

~ ~ ~

One of my favorite poets, Liar presented Precious Cargo is a thought provoking read with a tone of a hope.

~ ~ ~

Not Alone lostandfounder was a favorite read for Sunday. Great description on the 'metaphor' got to keep idle hands playing with mischief and learn to lock doors.
Quote:
quote:

“Ahem”

Eyes flash open

Significant Other stands
A wry smile
“Can’t I leave the two of you alone for five seconds?”
~ ~ ~


That's it folks as I see perks reviewed a portion of Sunday and what she missed, annaswirls will surely catch.


Take it easy poets, read, comment, and vote from the New List. Take the time to do a Spinner for older poems because there are some great poems from the past as well.



- neo
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Old 07-19-2004, 10:06 AM   #70
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Thumbs up Monday new poems

Okay poet-type peoples

I started reading them last night and then got all blurry eyed,so i picked up today. I likd the way Eve did her reviews and since there seems to be an anonymous outcry for "generic" reviews, I thought I would give into the silent minority and make them feel all warm and fuzzy today.

I believe that the hyper poems are meant for Lauren to review and although I have adored every one of them I have read so far I am leaving them for the Hyper poet reviews, okay? nothing personal, I just dont know what a hypersonnet is!! and how would I know if its good, other than I just like them, so thats not a fair review, is it?

okay, first up-

the going of goodness]

when the moment comes
for spirits of blood
to cut their crimson cords,
there can be no lasting sadness
...


an excellent sort of philosophical poem, which makes many good points with eloquent language. enjoyed this poem immensley!

~~~

Eternity Brakes

wow, this one made me think, I read it over and over and I might just have to add it to my favorites page

~~~~

Definition: Lin

okay, so maybe we all know, even without the author's name, who wrote this, and I would have to say, its my pick of the day
truly heartfelt and an excellent tribute to a poet whom we NEVER see around here anymore? I hope the baby is doing wonderfully!! sending you both many hugs and kisses


I'm just a homely
country girl ya know.
Don't bother me
with Metro Blues,
take off your fancy shoes
and feel the sea
with me.



~~~~~
Requiem for a friend

...
She is your best friend now,
so I will quietly slide under the snowbank waves
and sleep with red-gold autumn rains.


this is an emotional piece, but I thik we can all relate to her loss and its a well written poem with much color and feeling

~~~~

okay, this next one is fucking awesome, and I cant believe it didnt get an E, so lets everyone vote and make sure it gets an H, okay? the imagery is delicious and the mindset is funky and veeerrry sexy, I love this poem!!

Using the Midnight Oil as Lube

I wanted to be the first to fuck midnight,
Just screw the hell out of the witching hour
I wanted to use the moon for a condom and devour
All her blinking eyes, tie her up with a lovers bight.


~~~

]Riding the Tyger


Okay, I have read this one 5 times and still, the meaning eludes me, but it has some terrific imagery and some of the wording just tickles me-

...A two-backed beast incapable of birthing
Any more felines. There is enough pussy here
To go around.

~~~~~

Elipse...

this is a poem thats shows promise, it has a few spelling and grammatical errors, but the spirit of the poem come sthrough despite any mistakes I might have seen. It is deserving of your views and votes and please, if you have any suggestions for the author, share them, we are here to help one another and grow, arent we?

~~~

New Candy Idea

an illustrated poem, the pic surprised me though. The words are very fitting and this part is just silly and very insightful

Is to one up Willy Wonka
Forget lick-able wallpaper
How about
Taste-able tattoos?


~~~~

Don't You Dare Stop Fucker! ha HA!!! I loved this, truly didnt expect the ending, but it totally fits, good work

...like novelty fizzies
sprinkled on a lily pad
by scores of wood nymphs,

she started to scream,


~~~~




just a taste, I will be back with more, just dont want to lose what I already have here. Please, everyone vote and send FB, let the writers know that their efforts are valued and appreciated and enjoyed, and if NOT, and if you FEEL the need to vote a 1 or 2, or even a three, please let the author know what he or she did wrong, dont just be a silent jerkoff. Offer the writer suggestions on how he/she can improve his/her work, okay?

a million thanks, maria
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Old 07-20-2004, 07:02 AM   #71
tarablackwood22
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NEW POEMS Tues. 7/20

TUESDAY REVIEWS (plus a few from Monday).


Good morning!

Like Maria yesterday, I assume that Lauren is going to handle all the "Hyper" poems, so I will not touch on those.

There are only 8 new poems today other than those, only 2 of which caught my eye -- so I'm also going to cover a few from Monday that Maria did not mention -- she said she'd be back, so I assume she is trapped in some planting frenzy in her garden -- there were some very nice poems Monday, including one by Maria that I know she won't mention herself!..........

poetboy824 burns a woman down with his hands and mouth and another body part in touch , which has some heat to it.

my burning touch
penetrates and ignites you
until there is a bonfire
blazing in each cell
and you are consumed



Belagon offers an interesting look as a dance partner who longs for more in
One More Dance

I am important
For just one song
Daring to dream
I will be worthy
Of the next selection
On the corner jukebox
Given more stolen moments
Allowed to buy you a drink



From Monday:

Everyone who has been here longer than 10 minutes knows that everything Maria2394 writes must be read, if you love poetry. Monday she gave us a wonderful slice-of-life like only she can with Mama's Dishes:

There were cake plates and sherbet bowls
fluted and bent, engraved with hot sand
delicate curls of some type of flowers
that graced each piece
(when the glassware was whole)
and a candy dish, a platter, a plate
with scalloped edges and individual spaces
for deviled eggs, and a set of matching cups
with ladle and the
infamously never-used punch bowl



I thought a new poet, Sinsulamind, gave us a very interesting piece, and I found the first three stanzas were especially well-done. Judge for yourself.
Mental Meltdown:

Would you mind if I
spoke kisses to you
ones that would melt into
the softness of your skin
and make tattoos on your bones
ones that would
slide down your spine
and fall still at your hipline



trendyredhead is a new poet who has caught my eye in a big way. Maria mentioned Requiem for a Friend in her reviews, but I also highly recommend
Nocturnal Transience and Planning Behind , from which I take the quote. This girl seems to have image after striking image waiting on her fingertips!

I had planned to send a Christmas card,
but this is August 9.
My ice cream is melting;
it leaves strawberry tearstains on the porch.



As always, if something got past my sleepy eyes, for goodness sake's mention it in a post below mine!

Please read all the poetry, not only the ones I mentioned -- that's why we're here!

And leave worthwhile comments and critique. We all now how important that is.

white wishes Tara

ADDED: approx 20 more poems appeared after I did the reviews. They WILL BE reviewed, by either Tath or me, or by Liar if we can't...........and I thought I got off lucky.

Last edited by tarablackwood22 : 07-20-2004 at 08:23 AM.
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Old 07-20-2004, 11:32 AM   #72
Tathagata
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Tue 7/20

Ms Blackwood has asked if I'd give her a hand with the reviews.
It's not the body part I'd have chosen to give her ...but I digress...


Leaving Compensatory Prison---Syndra Lynn


some beautiful writing...and For some reason made me think of " The Miracle Worker"
it could be referring to autism, addiction, shyness or even the search for God.
It truly is an amazingly complex piece written in a simple way.
read it...think...and read it again



Love Hangover - Mr Mescalito

He seems to like rhyming and this one has a different pattern than most.
a few nice lines
not a bad read




just before the rain- catastrophe

a vivid poem about looking across an alley perhaps...
Is it fantasy, reality, is he a lover or a killer.
Very nice work with great atmosphere


mama's mystery - fawnie

Hard to read ,I'll bet it was harder to write.
a sad read but not an uncommon tale these days
poetry can be cathartic, I hope this one was
thank you for the emotion fawnie
I wont soon forget this

hell hole, by selfish gardener-maria2394


Finds maria where we love her most...ok second most
In her garden
this poem shows her love of the earth and her determination
A great read



ok I have a few more after lunch
( doing this at work is a trip)
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Irish Alzheimer's- You forget everything but the grudge

Last edited by Tathagata : 07-20-2004 at 11:40 AM.
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Old 07-20-2004, 01:45 PM   #73
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part 2

Richland, Georgia - duckiesmut

makes me think of the burning of Atlanta...or those rich old plantation homes in a slow sinking decline.
Great atmosphere


Listening To Interference - Randi Grail

I love this verse~

Tomorrow will find you there,
weeping questions into the ether,
learning to sing in new languages,
wavelengths, rhythms,
transfer protocols, handshake, handover
and leafwork whispers.~

now go read the rest


the enigmatic annaswirls gives us two today:


allowing this swallow


and

alarm



The first is like film noir.
a woman walks along a street and see danger every where.
in simple things
and what is the swallow...poison? Or something more sinister..

the second is perhaps my favorite

I love crows and this poem is very " zen like" in it's picture
"a tree is a tree and we still sit"
I laughed out loud
check it out

ok back to the job that keep me in scotch and hawaiian shirts
I hope I did ok..
Perhaps next week I'll wait till i get home if you people can wait that long....
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Nothing is better than Something

Irish Alzheimer's- You forget everything but the grudge
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Old 07-21-2004, 12:11 PM   #74
Syndra Lynn
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Wonderful Wednesday Poems

Read all the New Poems and let us know which ones inspired you!

Here are the ones I enjoyed today-

Unicorns! is a sweet wondering about the mythological creature.

***

Desire awakened my wanton lust first thing in the morning, which to my way of thinking is a great thing.

***

Et al... is a short powerful read. The emotion was well stated here.

***

G.R.A.S.P. is wonderful! As I read up the list, it is my favorite so far this morning. What a delightful read!

Quote:
gecko-like, I
navigate the lines
of her slight of hand wording
grasping, swirling in settling sand
until arrives full formed
the mystery of woman
as it should be
as it should be
the magic of her poetry
***

manifesto is interesting and quick.

Quote:
poetry don't
cook no 'taters
***

Blank Me is a hot fast read with a fuck-me rhythm that I really enjoyed.

***

un-read wedding has some rock solid advice and lovely sentiments.

Quote:
love is what it is
love does not need vows
People need vows
***

october odyssey is bloody brilliant. Poetry at its best

Quote:
when blue ridges pop golden
burst the color spectrum
orange and umber confetti mountains
***

Malt Shop Shadows is a great read as a dad watches his son pass another milestone. I love the rhymes, memories, beat and phrasing.

***

untitled II takes a look at pornography. I enjoyed this light hearted piece despite a need for editing.

***



We Are Small Pieces of Heaven is a refreshing fuck poem, and that aint' easy to do!

Quote:
Last night's towel,
rough in spots like vivid terrains,
has captured enough of us
to create a thousand worlds,
and still we tremble with the hunger
of sparking yet one more perfect globe.
***

Silver Ponies is a powerful look at a desperate moment.

Quote:
Silver ponies,
chase me through moonbeams and mountains into the tranquility of sleep;
***

Welcome to the Circus is an inside look at a wild ride. Very well written.

Quote:
I know he wants you spellbound
By the spotlights.
Centre circle, on your marker,
Master’s virgin whore.
You are the show.
Entertain us.
***

Trinkets of Remembrance will be the one I remember today. This is a wonderful work!

Quote:
Wilted flowers grace the windowsill
Muted color in the fading breeze
Gauzy curtains fray the edges
Paint the morning in pastel shards
***

If you read only one poem today read A Moment before the Aisle Really nice writing, wonderful memories, and powerful emotion. Brought a tear to my eye.

***

This Madness applies to each of us. You know who you are.

***

I'm not Joseph is BRILLIANT! Unbelievable emotions conveyed in a tight, complete piece.

***

make hay while the sun shines is a great tribute and a beautifully written picture.

Quote:
We longed for the outdoors,
there were living flowers condemned to finger pinch beheadings,
black walnuts to be catapulted from the stone wall to cement walkway
leaving tar stains on the cement
Mostly, there were skittish barn cats and
sticky eyed kittens to be hunted in the hay loft.
***

Five Corners captures the old neighborhood like a polaroid. Nice words.

***

Read, enjoy, vote, and go write.

There was a fine offering of new poems today. I felt fortunate to "have" to read them all. And welcome WELCOME to all the new poets out there today!

Syn
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Last edited by Syndra Lynn : 07-21-2004 at 12:24 PM.
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Old 07-22-2004, 04:19 PM   #75
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July 22 Part 1

I suppose I'm still Thursday Reviewer. I read most of the poems. I'm still reading. There's some excellent writing in the new poems list.

Here are some that have caught my eye and refused to let it go:

Whatever I Said I'm Sorry
If I adjust the lampshade
so that the back light
hits just right,

the freakish hangnail
and ingrown knuckle hair
on my pinkie finger
become swashbuckler daggers
for my gargoyles to grip
in their front teeth


It should be easy to guess who wrote this. I'm obsessed with the excerpt above. It's giving me such freaky images.

~~~~~

Billy Collins' Obituaries
Like when I read his Obituaries,
and pictured the half moon orange,
an all but empty teacup;


This is very good piece of writing that took a few reads to really affect me, but now it has calmly settled inside my head and planning to stay there for awhile.

~~~~~

Pillow Tale Vignette
As he contemplated pearls for swine
through too much wasted wine
and bothered to look,
to listen for real this time.


A great read, but you'll have to do it more than once.

~~~~~

Invasion
How long have you been
prowling inside me?


Very real, very painful and well written.

~~~~~

Amante IX
We need only to watch the sky,
to breathe against the madre flesh of night,
and know that morning whispers by and by


Nine Amante poems and the level of excellence continues.

~~~~~

hour of the pearl
waltzing
across the palm of god,
freezing the sun
below its waking
so the flash of heaven
will not spoil your image.


It's difficult to choose which lines to offer you here when the entire poem consists of overlapping perfection.

~~~~~

I'll stop here and continue reading and reviewing.
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