Old 02-24-2009, 01:35 PM   #2626
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Tuesday, the Last Round.

Here we are back again. Where was I...? We turn our gaze to less wrinkled poets.

::

Winterobserver has posted a poem called Dutch Lithography (You and Me). Now embarrassingly enough, darkmaas is married to a lithographer who, although she is not Dutch, possesses many of the stereotypical qualities we associate with citizens of Holland. I can vouch for his lithographic allusions and the poem is well worth reading. My dear wife might cringe at the first line because of her rather literal worldview, but that's a minor complaint.

::

I just noticed that we are swimming in Canadian poets today. Take a look at loganforrester's poem Valentine's day at Omaha beach. It's a Survivor terzanelle with a nice twist on what to remember on Valentine's Day.

::

Let me close with purple panties for Peter Blue Pants by tabbyjjkitty2. If hmmnmm is still in the building, this is as close as he is going to get to the word of the day. Those onanists among us who are waiting patiently, this is it for today. It's a bit longer than many autoeroticists might wish for, but it's packed with nice solid imagery and some eccentric spelling to make even this Canadian speller happy. Enjoy.

::

I'm outta here.




::
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Old 02-25-2009, 09:30 PM   #2627
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I don't know who is supposed to do reviews on Wednesday, but no one has as yet, and I think there are some pretty good poems to talk about. So I will. Talk. About.
  • Oh, like UnderYourSpell's rondeau, Voices so Sweet. Read the poem first, before you listen to UYS's audio. It's a really good example of a rondeau, I think. Simple and plain imagery (which works well in a rondeau), simple and plain narration. I quite love this poem, especially when you listen to the elegant recitation by the author.

    Keeper, folks.
    .
  • I will mention Dirty Secrets by Assco only because of one, glorious line: Sometimes when I have sex with my girlfriend, I think of her changing into the She-Hulk!!

    Now, I don't know about you, but erotic poems about She-Hulk just get my motor running.

    I know. Guy thing. Immature guy thing. Never mind.
    .
  • Masturbation by vie_secrete does rhyme and metrics elegantly and makes one want to carpe diem or, at least, carpe something.
    .
  • Angeline's Ars Poetica, a cento is quite a remarkable poem. Ms. A. has managed to cobble together lines from a host of Lit poets into a separate, yet comprehensible poem.

    It's hard to do. I've tried it, and she has done it better than anyone else I've seen try it. Pretty good poem all on its own, too.
    .
  • Finally (I dread this in a way), Senna Jawa offers X.

    SJ is often working off a very different aesthetic than what I understand, but he very much knows what he is doing within the bounds of that aesthetic.

    Not for everyone, but check him out. Always (well, usually) interesting.

'Na.
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:56 PM   #2628
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oh my god it is Wednesday (what?)
I cleaned the house (okay two rooms)
Finished the website (www.mannequinenvy.com)
Played in the sprinkler (I know, 86 in February)
And entertained a friend for dinner (and her two munchkins)
But I did not review the new poems (I am sorry!)

(and absent minded)
(and thankful.)

Tzara.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:39 AM   #2629
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Thursday

Thursday's poetry includes four illustrated poems. Some nice ones by champagne1982 and UnderYourSpell. pushkine's cerulean is the most visually appealing of the group. Great illustrated poetry is an art. It is creative. It is a delight to the reader.
Examples:
Amelia by neonurotic
Sasebo by neonurotic

Breather by Liar

Eating Pessoa by Lauren Hynde
Blue-Green Blues by Lauren Hynde
TV by Lauren Hynde

Angeline
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also check out the non-illustrated poems today. These are the ones I'd give a read:
greenmountaineer's Tijuana Bible Tale. Love the title and it's not often you get Popeye and Olive Oyl in a poem.

The Dance by Tristesse2 is lovely.

Why Craftsmen Outlive Rulers by bflagsst does not have options for comments or voting, so I'll make no comment. Do give this one a read.

Someone's Spouse is brief and subdued erotica by Curiouswife.

Hound Astral by AChild
to bruises but not strain
to control the limits of the dark heart
turn on the rays and put cancers in the skin
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Old 02-27-2009, 03:27 PM   #2630
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Thank God it's Friday

Even through the halogen (a cento)
by annaswirls

Even through the halogen
I worry about us,


I also worry. I worry she'll become such a good poet, she'll eat the rest of us. Eat us all up! Fab cento, swirls.


Naked Masquerade Guest List
by annaswirls

~All Titles by smithpeter~
..............
March Bonus Challenge: Cento/Masquerade


A poet can't go wrong using any of Doug's words. Give this one a read.

----------

Sucubus by Xinphinity appears to be interesting but oh so so long.

----------

Pablo Neruda
by anonamouse©
Full Title:
Pablo Neruda meets Chuck Buk in a launderette by proxies


Love the poem, hate the yeast infections.
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:25 PM   #2631
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Saturday, 2/28

17 poems yesterday. My highlights are:

Fucked Up by Many Feathers. The seemingly overparalleled structure works better on second and further reads, but I agree with Eve's comment that there's something more to be found beneath the pain already evident.

Masquerade of war by UnderYourSpell and Masquerade Amoureux both evolved out of the latest Bonus Challenge in the 2009 Poetry Survivors Challenge. This one was to create a cento of a poetic voice opposite of yourself using titles of works by Literotica poets, and I think both of these worked nicely.

I also liked Match Point by Blushingsub3262 but their comments were off, so I will just say go read for yourself. *g*

Sadomasochistic Coupling and Mirrored Sundays and Other Poems - by Cal Y. Pygia

Lastly, I was intrigued by both If his chest had been a mortar... by Epmd607 and Many Hued by CBDannieD. Both poems had me thinking and rereading and thinking some more; and I like them, but not exactly why or exactly sure what either of them fully mean. *shrug*

Like, I said, my highlights. By all means, check out all of the poems and let the authors know what you think (if they allow comments, of course). Be back in 2 weeks


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Old 03-02-2009, 12:33 AM   #2632
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Sunday March 1

There were nine New Poems today. Pointless's lovely but rather depressing Just Because was the first thing to grip me in its teeth and grind. Thankfully I found a little release in Blushingsub's poem Hot and Cold. There were some nice romantic poems too if you are in the mood for nice romantic poems.
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Old 03-02-2009, 08:45 PM   #2633
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There are 16 new poems today.

Three Hundred Count Percaleby Minervous caught my attention. It's interesting, and I am so in the mood for interesting after working all day. It has a forlorn mood and intriguing description of the plane between the sublime and the mundane.

Angelina Rodriguez by greenmountaineer is quite interesting like a rollercoaster may be. You almost have to just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Orrery, with Woman and Pigeons by pushkine is another poem worth mentioning. It's well-crafted and visual. I'm not in the best frame of mind to do a poem review justice, but this poem has an air of an internal conflict. I will definitely be returning to reread this at a later date.

So, take a few minutes to read today's gems and have a nice, poetic evening.
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Old 03-03-2009, 12:34 PM   #2634
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It's Tuesday again and I have to say I'm not having as much fun as I did last week. Maybe it's the phase of the moon or the state of the financial markets, but I'm more inclined to recline than review.

::

I'm going to start with Cal Y. Pygia. He's having a good poetry day imho. Read Automatons and Other Poems then chase it with By and By and Other Poems.

::

If you still have energy and haven't tired of Survivor poetry, then Tristesse2 has a nicely crafted Terza Rima, A Mote Emotes which should be rewarded if for no other reason than it manages a perfectly sensible rhyme for "voracious vacuum." (Gotta love those double vowels.)

::

I realize that the cento is the form of the week but it can be really tiresome. However, Remec has risen to the challenge and gives us Enspelled Masquerade. There should be a Karmadog immunity and Remec should get it for this lovely reheating of UYS's titles.

::

I'm stopping now and am shifting from recline to supine. Enjoy.



::
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:50 PM   #2635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedEve View Post
Pablo Neruda
by anonamouse©
Full Title:
Pablo Neruda meets Chuck Buk in a launderette by proxies


Love the poem, hate the yeast infections.
funny what you can do with a half cracked idea and flesh it out with a few beers - an edit it under the influence; no wait it was a cento, a cento of myself, sort of like those full body tattos of yourself that you can get - only a little off.

THX,
and you as always have been one of the fav's
now one of you mods can clean up after me and bounce this off to the thank you thread
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:15 AM   #2636
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Thursday

11 new poems. Is that it? Well, a few more could sneak up on me later, but I'm doing the review now.

Chain links once more by RazzRajen
This poem really appeals to me this morning. Why? I don't know. Can't I just drink my fifth cup of coffee and enjoy a freakin' poem without having to explain why to you people?! Okay, give RazzRajen's poem a read while I visit the ablution hut, bathroom, can, head, honey wagon, ladies room, latrine, lavatory, loo, men's room, outhouse, powder room, privy, public convenience, restroom, throne room, tinkle pantry, washroom, water closet. Thank you Little Loo Library.
It's good stuff and I give it an A.

Swimming mists flocking lights
unknown treadways taken slightways

Pull back look into eyes, vapid
Chomp hard



--------------


Definitely Reversible by Tristesse2
Eve opens a Tristesse poem and copies the title and pastes it in the post before even reading it. Some poets just aren't capable of crap, and I know I'll recommend her poem, so I prepare a spot for it before reading. Now I'll read it. I was right. It's not crap.
Ohhh, the poem is a "double reverse acrostic." A-

Dear reader waiting there so patiently
Expecting something alphabetical,
Forgive this feeble amateurish piece.



--------------


Scrapbook of memories
by UnderYourSpell©
Poetry Survivor
Italian sonnet Trigger 24


Very nice sonnet. I stumbled on that last line. B+


----------


Ballroom Dancing
by LadynStFreknBed©
Poetry Survivor: Triolet

Across polished wood, ladies’ dresses spin
as gentlemen shuffle and step in time
to Vivaldi’s staccato violin.


First three lines are especially nice. B+


-------------


Buzzz by Kokeen
There's enough good buzz in the first half of this poem to to recommend it. B


-------------
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:58 AM   #2637
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In addition to the poems Evie mentioned I really liked Drowning by lindiana Uber, mega economical use of words and even the positioning of the words adds to the effect.

From yesterday, I REALLY, REALLY have a personal liking of I'm a Fucking Saint I tell ya by Salvor-Hardon . Sal shows why he is one of Lits. Pervert Laureates and is one of the few guys I'd consider showing my tits.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:26 PM   #2638
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day late dollar short

Masquerade
by Middleagepoet©

It was fun to read these titles again.

Black Widow
by bogusagain©

a new twist on the butterfly effect, and another poem for SJ's spinning penny thread

Quote:
I toss a coin out of devilment
and observe its vertical flight
its rapid spin, the blur of insect wings
an effortless fury
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Old 03-06-2009, 07:30 AM   #2639
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New Poetry Recommendations

The Review thread has a new name -- thanks, Lauren -- but just because there is an emphasis placed on Recommendations, please still feel free to review poems from the New Poems submissions list.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Poets View Post
This thread is to recommend, review or comment on new poems posted at Literotica. No off-topic chat, no thank you notes unless they include relevant comments about the poems. If you have any other comments to make or if you want to thank the reviewer for the mention, please do it in PM or post on the "To keep the review thread clean..." thread. We have the entire forum to chat, I think we can keep it out of this one thread, so that no new poems go by unnoticed. I hope you all understand why we're doing this.

There are several people who volunteered to review the new poetry list once a week, but everyone can and should post their reviews, of course.
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Old 03-06-2009, 08:16 AM   #2640
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hmmnmm?

Is he no longer doing Friday?

Well, there are no new poems posted yet. I'll be back later with some recommendations, unless someone else would like to do it. Please feel free to give us your comments on the new poems.

-----------

Only 3 new poems have been added. More later? Why wait? Go read now.

Pyramid Wads by hmmnmm
There's a ZUNT in my CUNT! by assco
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Old 03-07-2009, 03:29 PM   #2641
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Saturdayness

So apparently it's been deemed by the PTB (stray Angel reference, for some reason. Sick, sick) that I am to receive little to light loads of poetry on my Saturdays because there are currently only six submissions for me to look over. I can check back later, though, in case a few more are chucked in late.

The Tease, as they've described it, is a joint garland by Bflagsst and Epmd607. It's also my pick of the day. I do, admittedly, have some trouble with the flow of the first stanza. It feels a bit like I'm trying to ride a bike that will always be too big for me and I can't climb on, but the following words do a wonderful job of pulling me in. I was particularly struck with this compact and warm burst of brilliance:

I found your
warm, worn
cruciform,
soddy spread
across my bed.


Rhyme and alliteration that works so well together, it's like a tight little word package of what an orgasm looks like to me. Really enjoyable.

I think I keep re-reading because the narrative structure and viewpoints continue to change. You want to figure out who is saying what to whom. It mostly seems to center on a man talking to a woman, the tease, whose "mermaid suit" cannot hide her anymore. She is naked to his eyes, his heart, his mind.
By the end, she seems to be loved. And, taking a cue from Epmd's other poem (aptly titled The Lewdest Poem),

Whoever writes the lewdest poem
must love the lewdest girl,
since love without lust and a poem without love,
is a sad letter from a prudish world.


...this delivers.

Also, as ever, we are allowed to walk in on a poignant narrative delivered by greenmountaineer entitled The Patient Feigns Regret. I always feel a slight loneliness when I read greenmountaineer's work, as though, no matter what is happening with the subjects, they are just a little bit bereft underneath it all. And I do like that feeling. Not only because I love to dig around in those sorts of emotions myself, but because of the way they are presented in the poems. The same feeling you might get if you walked in on a parent watching old family movies, both of you aware of the past and the dwindling but still extensive future. Wistful, I guess, in a word. Wistful and almost ugly in its need. Its need to be recognized. I appreciate that.

Sometimes I read gm's work and feel a lack of warmth, and I do wonder whether that hurts the work or the reader sometimes. If people cannot connect in some small way, and the words stay very cerebral all the time, I wonder if that makes audienceship (if I can make up a word) a little more difficult. However, the flip side of that is the reader who is willing to give a little bit extra and use what they're given to supply their own warmth, their own associations, and in turn, dial into the poem. That said...

If I can be a pop culture whore for a minute, I want to invoke a thought from the one and only Simon Cowell, scary as that is. I fear for greenmountaineer to be slotted into the "forgettable" category. Someone who creates sturdy, worthy pieces, good for reading and thinking about, but who, for some reason, is not often thought of. Whose work may not rise to the tip of the mind for some freakish reason or another. Laboring in silence, producing good fruit. So I want to take a moment to appreciate that. Appreciate the work, the labor, that goes into that, for anyone who might feel they land in that category.
Thank you for sharing.
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Old 03-09-2009, 12:19 AM   #2642
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Sunday

Awright, I'm just a wee late. Forgot I was filling in for Betsy today, so let the poetry-ness begin. I apologize if it's not a wondrous review. I wonder if peanut butter would make it better? In my experience peanut butter makes almost everything better, with the possible exception of hair. And stuff. I mean, ew. Why am I even talking about that? Sheesh.

If I counted correctly (which I may not have) there appear to be eight new poems on this Sunday in March.

First I'd like to go over A Curse of Old Beauty by Marione, which incidentally gets the blue B for title of the day (a whimsical idea that our very own hmmnmm teased me about, but I think it a fine idea. While I would never ever assume that my stamp of approval would be worth much, I will make one up just because it's fun. Is this also the part where I say "This is my recommendation and I'll do what I want to, do what I want tooooooo" ?). One, because the poem bears looking at, and two, she's asked specifically for comments and feedback so if you don't mind padding over I'm sure she'd be much obliged.

The poem, like its author, is obviously thoughtfully constructed. There was attention paid to word choice, description, rhythm, and subject matter. I really appreciate that about the work and it is those qualities that help to make up for some of the other minor issues in the piece. It is the presence of these qualities that will allow Mia to keep going further in her work, to dig deeper, to create and edit, and craft wonderful pieces. The poem has grace above all- it reads in the same way the lady is described; it has movement and finality.

My main concern is regarding those same word choices I mentioned earlier. She is thoughtful and intelligent in assigning vocabulary but I began to feel that some of the words were being thrown in merely because of their Scrabble value. I could never blame her for this, because I soooooo did that once upon a time, and probably still do. But for me one of the most important objects of poetry is to see, and if not to see, then to feel, and large words (even if used correctly) can obscure both of these glorious senses.

It surfaces the age-old adage: show, don't tell. But I don't want her to get rid of everything! Just, to think more carefully about exactly when a $10 word would be of use. Too much of that and one begins to feel as though they are swimming inside the OED, looking for that cursed beauty in lots of print.
It also brings the added fear that the wordiness is taking away from the action of the poem, its purpose: What is really going on?

All in all it is a good work worthy of reading, with interestingly turned phrases and a potential for great beauty.

Another work that swallowed easy as good wine was Tristesse's The Ballad of the Andrea Gail. I know a lot of the form poems are being submitted for the Survivor challenge and I say bless 'em- you are all knocking my socks off with the rhyming abilities. I'm not usually a fan of rhyming but I keep reading poems that impress me and even manage to trick my eyes that what I'm reading doesn't rhyme at all.
Tristesse submitted a work made of easy fluidity, a tale of the sea. If I am at liberty to do so, I'll say that the style of this work reminded me of Stephen Crane, and in particular his short story The Open Boat. Obviously a poem and story are different lengths, but both of these share an ease of storytelling (even in a grim situation) and I think Tristesse did a good job of condensing that sort of experience into a ballad.

Once again hmmnmm gives us a little glimpse into something dark, secretive, and possibly dirty (despite its placement in non-erotic- I do actually mean dirty as in, dirt) in today's offering of Chickens. His praiseworthy alliterative powers once again take the corners very nicely and I think we all want to know (even in a small way): just what the hell is going on inside those coops, anyway?

Lastly (but never leastly), I want to take note of two smaller poems.

The first is Hymen by vrosej10. Delicate, spare, lush. Really gorgeous. And it places me directly in that odd patch of thinking, "Just what is one supposed to say about a very short little poem?" Because in no way would I ever say it's not poetry. It's lovely. Her other poem is short and lovely as well. But I think the temptation with short poems like that is to read, chew, and immediately swallow. Then, forget. I don't like thinking of that happening, especially when the power to invoke such images with so few words is quite the gift in my eyes. It makes me think of Equinoxe with her delightful form poems.

Hymen is a good poem. She's given the outline, we color the feeling. It stuck, for me, and I really hope she continues to submit.

The second short poem is Mine by the_vamp. It's the second of vamp's work in two days and yesterday I sort of glossed over Submission as yet another _____ [you fill in the blank]. Good, but not overly exciting. I do like Mine. I wish she would consider using punctuation because its lack is not really servicing the work as it could. But there is something dark and easy and free that I like about the poem. As if it's teasing me that I could never be in that situation. The poems have winking, twinkling eyes, if that makes sense (and isn't too creepy ).

Thazzit. Peace out, poetical beatniks.
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Old 03-10-2009, 10:36 AM   #2643
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Another Tuesday at the New Poems Thread. I see we have new signage. Out with the reviews, in with the 'commendations. Just give me a few seconds to recalibrate the Metaphoric Analyser (TM) and tweek the Digital Euphemizer(TM). Hmm ... the coupling isn't quite right. Maybe a little less gain on the Rhyme Reward Loop. Nope, ah, of course, we have to upgrade our Iambic Meter Counter. That'll take a week for new hardware so we'll just have to limp along with the odd feedback resonance if there are any highly metered poems.

You mighta thought that if we were to get new signs, they would have sprung for a coat of paint and replaced the harvest gold shag. Good thing Martha Sewart has her hands full over at the Bistro. Decorating around that nasty old French pissoir that Tzara dredged up out of the swamp of neo-post-classicism is certainly a challenge.

I see hanging over my head two reviews ... er ... recommendations by bluebell7. Working overtime! Does Eve pay time and a half on weekends? Maybe you could mention the shag and while she's at it maybe fresh Naugahide for the reviewers chair.

I can't help but notice the demise of poor Hmmnmm. It finally got to him. Was it the chair, the carpet or the floral wallpaper?

::

Another lucky draw for ol' d'maas. Not many poems and a lot of nice work. In fact you should pretty much read them all. (I am so tempted to leave it at that and run over to the Bistro for Martha, but the reviewer's badge come with a certain responsibility that may not be shirked.)

::

Hopefully the cento madness should stop soon.

Vampire Masquerade: A Titular Cento by champagne1982 is first up. Now my job would be so much easier if this was a mediocre poem. I could slam the form, blow a little steam and feel good about it. Alas it's a fun read constructed of the titles of Lit poems.

Maybe we can find Tristesse2 wanting in poesie. Nope. It's a really fine poetic comment on a relationship twisting sadly in the wind. Divorce was probably tougher to construct because the stolen lines are longer. Tess seems to like the form because I see she is doing it as her poet's choice. perhaps she only does it to annoy.

::

Hmmnmm has a trio posted. Maybe freedom from the shackles of review has liberated his muse. I've already expended my quota of nice above so just go and read Pardon My Prawn, Come Summer and care,thee.

::

I spy anther RazzRajen on my horizon. A taste for is more approachable than some of his work, so if you haven't tasted Razz this would be a good time to start.

::

Cal Y. Pygia is still on a roll. Don't pass by Details

::

Read Two Love Haiku by Akrasia (although it pains me to recommend haiku) and then Irish Eyes: A Disclosure by Tokuquin.

::

If you have Gorean proclivities, then read A Teaching Poem by Taunus.

::

Last, I want you to look at The Black Russian by lillygurl678. I think it's a glosa (glose), but don't quote me. I hate to encourage poets who write well in poetic forms, but keep an eye on lillygurl. She has a firm grasp on the art.

::

I'm out of poems and outta here.




::
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:47 AM   #2644
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No one did Monday. I feel weird doing Wednesday poems until the hole is filled but damn there were like 217 poems on Monday.... I will give it a whirl if I finish my assignment...

New Poems

hmmmnmm had two offerings for us today. I truly enjoyed both. They get my scarlet A.

A Back Then -
Submitted by hmmnmm (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09\
Hey I think this is my favorite of hmmmnmm's poems that I have read yet. A comparison of todays tech times to more simple, organic times. Sometimes this poet's work is abstract and mind twisting to the point of distraction (for me at least) but this poem had interesting, yet approachable phrasing. Much enjoyed.

My favorite line:
Quote:
The houses are static.
You gotta go read the poem to get the context....



A enclosure peer -
Submitted by hmmnmm (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

I really like hmmnmm's poetry. I do. It is not your ordinary poem. It stretches boundries. But sometimes I feel like it is overdone, gets too into basic zen explanation instead of just showing. I don't think this poem needs this verse:

Quote:
which does not exist, but
it did exist, was the present
when it happened, like this
presence at present happens
What do you think? Without it, the reader is allowed to do the work on their own. The rest of the poem is thoughtful, with interesting images, like this one:

Quote:
Copy. Flip. Impose
frame.
Color.
Add a cloud.

One day cumulus.
Another day
cirrus.
I love the image of taking life like a drawing, adding clouds as necessary, with variation, accepting yet still looking with scorn when needed.

A Varying Degrees of Craziness -
Submitted by lindiana (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

Quote:
Prisms of light will catch you
If you let them
He said
Take a trip with lindiana through the roller coaster. I see mostly depression in this poem, and loved her fruit eating analogy. Go check it out.


Confectionery -
Submitted by Tzara (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

Read this. What do you think of the rhyme scheme? I like the approach in the first stanza best. I also think that the stanza breaks could be done differently to group the beginning melting and after --the seasons of love in a sugary treat.





A whisper in the wind -
Submitted by RazzRajen (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

I love the beginning and ending of this poem. The middle had crazy, catchy, twisted cool phrasing and ideas, but it was too much of a good thing for me at least. By all means, read this poem without my glasses too. Might be a very different view.


chalice of our lips; the serene -
Submitted by live4passion (Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

lovely, peaceful poem.

The Ultimate Conspiracy -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

lillygurl tackles Charles Manson with a form poem pretty sure a Roundelay (Dryden's) for the survivor challenge. Check out this girl's score card. She is kicking ass and surely knows her way around the lines! You go, lilly! Wish you would put the form at the bottom of your poem, but by no means a requirement!



About Pleasure -
Submitted by DemonicAngel87 (Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

Quote:
Our tongues reading each others taste buds like that of a brail letter.
Interesting line. This poem made me think, yes, poetry can be pornography. I will paste a link to it on that thread.


Mystery Revealed -

Submitted by ajc1025 (Erotic Poetry) 03/11/09

More porn-like descriptions, but this stanza, for me, saves the poem because it moves beyond bodily descriptions:
Quote:
A yearning that walk into this world.
A world that seems distant, yet right here.
Like a night wind blowing into the window,
feeling a light touch across his chest.
although the first line seems a bit awkward



Please remember these are my recommendations, by no means of any kind of authority, real or presumed. Please go read these poems, take a minute to click a star and leave a comment, even if it is just "cool beans." or "like the title."

Or not. To each his own. We are in this together.

~AS
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Old 03-12-2009, 12:26 AM   #2645
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Monday's Review

Take a look at this list from Monday's poetry selection!

15 from lillygurl! I have yet to read them all, but the girl knows what she is doing. I am not sure if she is interested in feedback as she has her comments turned off so I am going light on this review-- lillygurl, are you interested in feedback?

A bunch from Pet_gypsy_seer.... who uses the ellipse.... a little too much.... some raw emotion in these poems. We should encourage this writer to stick around and get to work on putting some meat on their poem's bones.

Iceberg Theory -
Submitted by vampiredust (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Not one of my favorites of this familiar poet, but a good read.

Freedom Triolet -
Submitted by champagne1982 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09

Inside -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Hand to Hold -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Evenings Bile -
Submitted by Safe_Bet (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
College Dorm Lust -
Submitted by FromCincyToHouston (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Torn -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Locked Within -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Protected -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09

Unfullfilled -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09

Whiskey and some ice
-
Submitted by darkmaas (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09

Give this a read. I like the scene he sets, and the use of repetition of a great line.....see if you can find which one I mean.

The Things I Miss -
Submitted by digmwit (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
watery matters -
Submitted by hmmnmm (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Caress -
Submitted by Blushingsub3262 (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Restless nights -
Submitted by bigbear2345 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
slalom -
Submitted by hmmnmm (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
uprooted - my favorite of the three hmmnmm submissions Monday.

Submitted by hmmnmm (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Pieces of You -
Submitted by Pet_gypsy_seer (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
morning glory -
Submitted by vrosej10 (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
What if... -
Submitted by Xantu (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
velvet -
Submitted by vrosej10 (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Tuppence for crumbs -
Submitted by annaswirls (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Fashion Victim -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Immoral Teasing Rabbit -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Jealousy of a 1956 Bel Aire -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Widow -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Culicidae -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Dress Shirt -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
A Faerie War -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Death of a Captain -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Anti-Christ Superstar -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
Another War Calls For Spells -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Dawn -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Scarecrow's Laugh -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Love of a Call Girl -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Pillow's Secret -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Persian Rug -
Submitted by lillygurl678 (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09
The Key -
Submitted by Taunus (Erotic Poetry) 03/09/09


Okay wow, it has nothing to do with the poetry, but I am too nauseous to read anymore. And Swirls baby #1 just threw up all over his bed, so surely I am in for a bumpy night.

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Old 03-12-2009, 09:44 AM   #2646
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Thursday

Quote:
Originally Posted by annaswirls View Post
Okay wow, it has nothing to do with the poetry, but I am too nauseous to read anymore. And Swirls baby #1 just threw up all over his bed, so surely I am in for a bumpy night
I really hope things are better today.

This Thursday's new poems list includes some illustrated poetry, which I always enjoy! Make sure to give them all a read. Different styles and different approaches to illustrated poetry, but they're all good in their own way.

Pierced by lindiana has a very cool look to it and she makes it easy to read, which I appreciate.

blue poem by 4degrees is a smoky looking illustration and with a very good poem.

Pump It Up by Boxlicker101. Through poetry and photos, Boxlicker has been good about sharing his life over the years. He has shown us his home, his wife, daughter's wedding. Now he shares a grandchild's birthday.

Carpet Yearn by Middleagepoet offers a nice image and very nice Ghazal.

---------------

Your love song by Tristesse2

Well, I just have to give this poem the lame, old "I Love It!" Don't miss this one.

----------------

One more poem on the list you should read: Passive Voice by greenmountaineer
I like this poet and what I've read of him/her so far has been good, solid poetry.
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:35 AM   #2647
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There Can Be Only One (Thursday)

After reading through the daily offerings I am reminded of a treasured Sci-Fi saying.
“There can be only one!” Its sort of like the saying last man standing. In today’s offering there was only one that held my interest. I don’t want anyone to think I’m slamming the efforts of the other poets who submitted. I’m not even saying that this poem is great. What I am saying is that this poem managed to say something original. That is a hard thing to do when everything we experience and feel is handed down. A poet must realize that nothing is unique and that art lies in the ability to describe the regular as irregular.
When a poet can do this poetry can become more than what the reader has experienced.

Greenmountaineer’s poem “Passive Voice" managed to do this for me. Please take a moment to read the poem now and then return to this comment. CLICK HERE .The first stanza is an almost perfect beginning. Read the title and allow yourself to absorb what it might mean, be careful not to apply analysis but just accept what comes to you. All poems deserve this vulnerability from the reader. Once your sensibilities have set you on a path then continue to read and see where it takes you.

As for me I thought of a church or a Tupperware meeting but heck it could be anything that involved a gathering of women. I thought those two because of the reference to a plastic or dirt smell. The ambiguity presented by the author allowed me to pick my own reality and exist quite comfortable in a conflict of reasonable guesswork. I was disappointed in the rest of the journey the second and third stanzas failed to move forward the poem in my opinion.

The overindulgence of description in the second stanza did not add depth despite the detail. In truth the last two lines of the third stanza if connected to the first would give me all that I need to ponder, and walk way from the poem with its resonance on my mind and lips.

Consider:

I neither smelled of dirt nor plastic.
One had to be conscious I was there
Like opening doors for everyone.
I ushered all the ladies through,
Palm touching shoulder,
and wonder what body heat
My hand may have missed.

Does this say more or less than what the author presented to you? These are the authors words I have not changed a word simply deleted lines that did not enhance the poem for me. This is the only poem that managed to speak to me today and I ask that you consider what it means to you. I’d like to discuss this poem I don’t want to talk about whether you thinks its good or bad just what does it mean? I will post a thread in the forum and I hope you join in. There is no right or wrong and I ask that Greenmountaineer join us but not tell us what he is writing about. Simply allow the poem to mean what it means to us.

U.P.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:36 PM   #2648
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Pathetic earthlings! HEAR now the voice of Recommendor™, who commands your puny attention as He dictates artistic judgments on Literotica's sparse poetic spawn for this Friday, the thirteenth day of March, 2009 as so labeled by your silly and inaccurate Gregorian calendar.

There are six "poems" submitted:
  • dickjonson69 offers two of them: Lost Love and Risen. Rhymed verse, occasionally off meter. Need I say more?

    Actually, yes I do. Need to. Dick shows some talent. There is some care to line length and metrics, and both of the poems read fairly smoothly. All good stuff FOR YOU PUNY SPAWN OF TERRA!

    The treatment of the subject matter is, to my robotically metaphoricanalytical reading, banal, but everyone starts out that way. There is promise in Dick, I think. He shows care about language.

    SMACK THIS HUMAN UPSIDE THE HEAD AND HE WILL PRODUCE WORK OF INTEREST, MY PREDICTOR CIRCUITS SAY.
    .
  • Tame Me, by HeavenlyGates is merely bad. Sorry, I guess I am reviewing, not recommending, but
    Tame me...

    Tame me...

    Make me cry...

    Make me moan and whine all night...
    will make me whine and moan all night if I have to read more of it, though I am simply circuitry.

    Even electrons find resistance in poorly designed circuits.

    I hope her human sexfriend likes it. Recommendor™ does not.
    .
  • vrosej10 offers two:
    .
    • Tanka #2 is OK in this robot's estimation. Not exceptional, though not bad.
    • Zephyr, however, computes as elegant and quite lovely. Recommendor™ approves, and states READ THIS POEM, SQUISHY HUMANOIDS.
    .
  • Finally, remains Lifted Hips, by pushkine. Recommendor™ disdains such dimwit smut, framed with clumsy acrostic.

    'Nuff said.

    Idiot.
RECOMMENDOR™ COMMANDS (AND, BENIGNLY SUGGESTS) YOU FLESHY QUAKING POETS TO READ, COMMENT, AND ACT LIKE ADULT HUMANOIDS.
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Old 03-15-2009, 01:00 AM   #2649
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PITIABLE HUMANS! Recommendor™ points you at Lit's New Poems, yet you lie slothful in reticence and humanity too lazy to read and comment.

YOUR WET, ORGANIC KIND SHALL WRITHE IN TORMENT.

Do you not read the pathetic scribblings of your fellow humans? Are you really so selfish, so callow?

My circuitry seems to be mired in strange loop. Recommendor™, in all of His galactic wanderings has not encountered such intraspecies indifference.

No matter. He commands, even as He recommends (or comments on):
  • Going to Taco Bell with Dirk by seannelson: The title's the best thing about this, unless you like lines like I don't like Taco Bell much either, which I don't. Either the line or Taco Bell.

    As Epmd607 points out, there's a Soundgarden reference.

    Kwell, I guess.
    .
  • Alone, by Baby_Kat begins
    Where do I go when I can’t turn to you?

    I go on day after day with so much to do.

    Who do I get my strength from for my heart?

    But here I sit, lost, in despair, not knowing where to start.
    Recommendor™ shys away from comment on these lines.
    .
  • Curiouswife breaks the trend by posting two poems that are worth reading: Dying to Live and His Lips. My dispassionate circuitry found the former quite good, the latter worthy, yet somewhat lacking. Both well superior to most of what is posted at Literotica. Read them both and comment.
    .
  • The oddly self-named hmmnmm posts two poems, Pornish Backyard Pens, which is linguistically interesting but, as far as my advanced circuitry can determine, meaningless and Ah Ha which seems neither linguistically interesting nor intelligible.
    .
  • UBU's Slave to Posture is supposed to be erotic.

    I don't see this, but I am machine.
    .
  • Breaking Free by candylandsky is pedestrian, but not awful. She uses active verbs, for example, but essentially has nothing to say (at least to a galaxy-dominating android).

    Check her out and give some encouragement.

    Points off for "azure."
    .
  • What She Thought by Otzchiim gains points for metrical consistency (often difficult to come by in Litland). Interesting poem (sonnet?) marred by some dreadful lines ("I danced with him and saw the mighty wood / I gave him").

    Ow. That line pains even Recommendor's "for cosmetic completeness only" testicles.
    .
  • Taunus has a "poem." It rhymes.
ENOUGH! I am off now to devour civilizations. READ AND COMMENT, LEST YE BE MASH OF HUMANITY, O HUMANS!
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Old 03-15-2009, 12:43 PM   #2650
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Saturday, 3/14

***PLACEHOLDER***

Hey folks...been a little busy around here today, but I will come and leave some recommendations at some point this afternoon or else first thing tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, I see that Recommendor has left some of their choices on stuff to take note of, so--by all means--reread the post above me and go check things out. *g*


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