Old 01-28-2009, 11:59 AM   #2576
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I know, I know. It's Wednesday and I do the Tuesday reviews. The short explanation for this glaring anomaly is that yesterday I found myself in an alternate place in the time space continuum. The long answer is food for poetry that now hides in my fridge waiting for the mayonnaise to finish ... whatever. I digress.

Well the effects of poetry survivor are being felt. Half of yesterday's submissions were attempts to make fire on tropical islands clad only in cute buffs ... The organizers can now pat themselves on the back, MORE POETRY. Of course the problem with sweaty poets on desert islands fanning the flames of metaphor is whether there be any quality poetry among the flotsam and broken coconuts.

Let's have a look...

::

Two poems about shopping for breakfast cereal. Safe_Bet takes us on a dyspeptic Sugar Rush. Then we go Shopping for Cocopops with Jack_Samuel. We can't blame the poets for the banal subject matter and they have both risen to the occasion. So far so good.

::

A couple of Crapsey's Cinquins. LadynStFreknBed outdoes the form with Notional Spirit. Then UYS pulls out all the stops with an inverted double acrostic Crapsey. Rhyme certainly caught my ear.

::

Two excellent entries by annaswirls. A glossa, wholly to be a fool and a double dactyl, Fight! Fight! Fight!. The latter suffers from the constraints of the trigger but she's made a valiant effort. I loved the glossa though. The first lines, "since feeling is first / there is no speak / before touch..." makes survivor worth the sunburn.

::

Another double dactyl, this time by UYS. Read Peeping Tom if only for a chance to increase your vocabulary. Is Tittifillarously really a word? It's not in my scrabble dictionary.

::

Read Rockefeller Plaza, 65th Floor by pushkine. It's a glossa and a rather nice one. It has a nice flow that rises above the restrictions of the form.

::

With one of two poems "with audio", Middleagepoet fulfills his Cento 2 obligations with Black and White, Spotted. Perhaps more polemic than poetic, but still worth a read (or a listen).

::

My favourite of the day is not a survivor although the author is registered. The second audio poem of today is inky by hmmnmm. Lovely vague whimsy. Read it now before hmmnmm takes it down for plastic surgery.

::

All in all, not a bad day poetically. Survivors, pat yourselves on the back, without inflaming that sunburn.




::
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Old 01-28-2009, 04:29 PM   #2577
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annaswirls View Post
I have an unexpected visitor, will get to these as I can.... Yeah Darkmaas! Thanks for the awesome review. My reviews suck. I apologize in advance.

All righy.

I have noticed something missing from the new poems list. Those little red H's from days gone by. Of course, it is all about the POETRY and not the VOTERY But!!! I wanna see the hot hot hot symbol next to the poems again. I miss them.

I am giving my own scarlet letters in today's review. Just to a few favorites. The others were good too, this is just my one lowly opinion. My tastes are not your tastes, so go vote on your favorites and bring back the H!

~Anna



New Poems

A Scientists We Are Not -
Submitted by Sapphos Sister I think this was my favorite read today. Clever trip through the --ologies... for someone who claims to not be a scientist, she sure has the lingo down to a science. Enjoyable. Intelligent. Go read. Please.


A Before She Was My Mother

Submitted by bflagsst I feel like I know this woman...


A River View -
Submitted by loganforester Check out this haiku done right! Looks effortless when it works, but we all know, it is a chore!

A Written on a Funeral -
Submitted by pushkine



I read this and I have to stop. How could it get better? But I need to go get a tissue.....seriously.

ACocktail -
Submitted by pushkine double inverted yum with a double meaning of "cocktail"


At the Mall -
Submitted by Remec Can you name that form? Nicely done.


Okay I wrote my first sonnets. If it were anything else I would not mention my own work, but I cannot believe I am writing form poetry at all. I know they are not as traditional as some might like, but they are.... What he could not throw away Each Fallen Robin -


laurambell has three prescriptions for those of you looking for some sexy medicine


Without Mercy -
Submitted by LadyJenny

This is not my favorite style of writing, but I think she does it well. Like the quote? Check out the rest of the poem-- it really is lovely. And I love her name.


bad weather -
Submitted by pushkine I did not see the movie that this poem references, but as a zappai, it works! Pushkine is rocking this contest.


Tata Man Dicks! -
Safe_Bet had a little too much fun writing this one! It is contagious



A Mosquito's Life -
Submitted by UnderYourSpell made me giggle. I never would have dreamed something sas serious sounding as Rubaiyat Quatrain would make me giggle, but this one did.


Jessica Christ -
Submitted by ramonathompson (Non-Erotic Poetry) I did not get into this one too much until the end. Killer last verse.


The past -
Welcome LaylaWeathermaker and FilthyAngel to literotica.

That's all folks! Signing out with time for lunch!

~Anna
*smile*

Thanks Anna, glad you liked my poem Jessica Christ. This one was a tough to write and I was't too sure about the subject matter. I welcome your feedback. It helps a lot.

All the best,

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Old 01-28-2009, 05:28 PM   #2578
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annaswirls View Post
I have an unexpected visitor, will get to these as I can.... Yeah Darkmaas! Thanks for the awesome review. ...

~Anna
How does she know that before I've even posted? Either proof of the space-time continuum problems I've been having or Eve is mucking with my collective head.

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Old 01-29-2009, 11:23 AM   #2579
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkmaas View Post
How does she know that before I've even posted? Either proof of the space-time continuum problems I've been having or Eve is mucking with my collective head.

::
You have a collective head? I want a collective head.

It's Thursday. I forgot it was Thursday. I will go read the Thursday poems and report back.
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Old 01-29-2009, 12:04 PM   #2580
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Thursday and it's a good poetry day!

Time for You to Leave
by LadynStFreknBed

Lovely Valentine Terzanelle. Smooth read; It took me a moment to even notice the form.

Also from Ms. FreknBed: The Black Russian
Poetry Survivor contest
Poet's Choice form (Ottava Rima, 1 stanza), trigger 50


Fantastic poem. Make sure to read and comment.

----------

Mosquito Wins Miss America
by pushkine
Survivor Poetry Contest
Trigger 19, Poet's Choice (Free Verse)


First, I have heard delightfully interesting rumors about this poet -- and I have always enjoyed this poet's work. Anyway, this poem is excellent. Witty and smart! Give it a read.

zero-gravity tea ceremony by pushkine
Survivor Poetry Contest Trigger 45, Form P (Tanka)

----------

Cross Words
by greenmountaineer

Who is greenmountaineer? I just finished raving about pushkine's poem. Here is another smart and clever poem. Seriously, do not miss this one!

----------

Flowers and Corpses (A Villanelle)
by Angeline

I am in love with the title of this villanelle.
"Resolute in thrall of flesh yielding heat." I'm kind of leaning toward this line having one too many syllables. Not sure. Other than that, this poem is perfection. The repetition of "The pastel rooms are disturbingly calm" is brilliant. Phrases like "vertigo sweet" and "Whey-faced attendants with rictus aplomb" blow me away.

----------

reboot
by hmmnmm

A sniper’s remote
control bullet
burnt vinery
patterns on a mannequin
warmed up interior wax


As always, this poet does have a way with words!
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Old 01-30-2009, 07:19 PM   #2581
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Got stuff on my mind all of a sudden. So, all that about penetrating and penetrators that I began to discuss up in the Fireside Threadcast, I will go back and dribble a few pertinent drops as they come frothing forth.

Now, if I was to give a nod to the ones I felt were written well enough as they were, today's list, at least from this humble perspective, would be much longer. It just so happens that I coincidentally don't feel like working too hard today, so this seeking of poems that penetrate or that offer sweet soft spots for me to penetrate does whittle down all the copying and pasting of links.

The House of the Tragic Poet by pushkine, is damn near masterful poeting. It almost, almost almost, maybe another mood or time... well I can't say it penetrates, and I can't say I would spend too many fantasy moments wondering what it would be to penetrate this poem. But it does build a little world, a scene, a feel, that, in the right moment could suck one's interest to look closer and even enter into.

Shopping for Steel-Cut Oats by the same pushkine however, did penetrate. In a humorous way. Great title too. Hell, that's a poem in itself if you ask me.

cereal that's very dull

That's pretty good. In fact, being vulnerable like putting up poems makes them vulnerable, there is plunder to consider. And that's a tempting one there... the... you know what I mean.

A day for two to share by Jack Samuel might have penetrated me if I was a chick. Or if Jack Samuel was a chick I might feel the rise up of a penetration inclination. Finely written nonetheless. I bet somebody was pleasantly penetrated.

Football on Lesbos by NorthernPA4U is a nicely written ballad, that gives credit to Casey at the Bat. Nothing to really dislike. It resembles pushkine's Tragic Poet poem in that it builds a scene that could invite, unfortunately for my betterment, I wasn't interested in entering at the time I passed by. But another time? Very possible.

Which brings us to Valentine Terzanelle by Champagne1982. It sort of does penetrate and the reader could certainly get into a quick penetration inclination. But it's like... oh, what's it like? Uh, like, let's say, the soft part that one would penetrate is... is... bold. Let's say bold. Comes right up to you. There's no question what's going on. But you reach for it and she pulls it away. Tantalizes, dances, makes you forget anything else exists. This is one soft part that is firmly in control. More of a situation where that soft part envelopes the penetrator. Because it wants.


Sweet wind blow and shake these boughs
and budded twigs that feel your urgent touch
and kisses numbered as high as forever allows.


That alone... guess it happens to be part of a terzanelle and like others today, an entry in the valentine's challenge. Fine. I really don't care. I just want more of it, and it knows I'll gladly crawl or wait as long as forever allows.

There's more poems. Not at all unworthy of mention, but my fragile attentive span is about to fade.

So if someone wants to pick up the slack, hop up here on your uncle hmmnmm's lap and wrap er all up.
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Old 02-01-2009, 09:42 AM   #2582
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Saturday, 1/31

Hi all, welcome to my first review post...*sigh, breathe, wipe hands on pants*

I am still working on this since I failed to factor in the time it takes to deal with kids and whatnot while trying to read and appreciate poetry, but I figured I would leave a post as a place holder and come back later this morning and edit.


In the meantime, go read something/someone hehehe

UPDATE: Made me a list...19 poems...off to read and think. Oh, and two are mine, so I'll have to abstain on those. But, if you of a mind to do so, please read them and let me know what you think in the Keeping Clean thread and/or in the poems' comments.

FINAL UPDATE (I hope):

Okay then...finished reading, mostly finished thinking (funny how stuff sticks in your mind sometimes, y'know?), and here are some of the poems that I really liked.

Summer Kiss by Libitzome is a sweet and touching moment done in a haiku-style.

Midnight Chocolate and Daydream by DawnJ are also snatches of time from everyday lives. One shows passion and desire, and the other the wishes for the same that come when separated from a loved one.

Forgotten Memory by bednhead13. This one I liked more for the promise it seems to hold. It looks like it might have been one of those jump-right-out-of-the-head poems that you sort of scramble to get written down before it's lost, but there are some either typoes or grammatical mistakes here and there that draw me out of what is being written. I think with a touch of polish this could be really special.

Entrance by Middleagedpoet is earmarked as being inspired by Trigger 21 in the Survivor Poetry Challenge, and I spotted it before having to go look it up. Very nice job.

Valentine Strip Tease by ramonathompson is another that, to me, looks like it could stand a little tightening; but the images and passion make it through to me despite that and leaves part of me wishing I was that bound audience member.

My favorite for the day, I think, is Gifts of Love by UnderYourSpell. Repetition and rhyme are always a tricky thing to work together; but everything seems to gel, and I am left with a touching thumping in my heart.

Well, that's all for now...*whew*
Remember...just my thoughts...go read and discover what you like, vote and leave all our authors comments or feedback if you think you should. 'Bye *wave*


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Old 02-02-2009, 12:31 AM   #2583
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Today's poetry submissions numbered twelve, a little magic, right? Two of these were by bogusbrig. I loved this:

the emptiness of the room expands its dimensions
to such a point it is difficult to believe
we lived here so cramped


from Moving On
Hollywood's Sick New Craze -
Submitted by DeniseNoe made me laugh.

Greenmountaineer's World War II Book of the Dead showed impressive technical skill, I thought. And this!

But here you are in all your splendor,
Tapping your wing-tipped soul
To the sound of my metromoaning breath,


Gorgeous, I thought. Also, Middleagepoet showes some skills off in the wonderfully-named Baby Pictures of Famous Dictators.

UYS does an admirable attack on the Cento in This was their finest hour.

All of the poems today had some good lines or engaging images. Cal. Y. Pygia's Barbequed Spaniels and Other Poems is bold and graphic today.

I must sleep. I'll fix links tomorrow if they need fixing.
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Old 02-02-2009, 12:29 PM   #2584
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Monday, February 2nd

The Wisdom of Silver Surfer Skulls &
Other Poems
of the White-Green World-
The Empty Bondage of Compendium Maleficarum
Jesus and Judas spattered on the Canvas of Sin
Be Quieted in Wild Abandon Of Raptors, Dust specks, and Lovers.



Wisdom by Taunus is an erotic poem that reads as a conversation with wisdom about lust for a woman. It's a fresh perspective that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Silver Surfer Skulls & Other Poems, Compendium Maleficarum, and Wild Abandon are by Cal Y. Pygia. Since this poet chooses not to accept feedback, I'll just recommend that everyone reads these and other works by Cal Y. Pygia.

White-Green World and Jesus and Judas are by a new poet, scottjoyce. Of these two submissions, I strongly prefered Jesus and Judas. It could use a little tightening, but it delivers a clear, unique, and interesting perspective. I felt that whatever message is supposed to be made by White-Green World is lost in its wordiness. But, I have a personal dislike of prosey poems. Perhaps, others may enjoy it.

***

I enjoyed Bondage and Empty by a relatively new poet, Crystal_Gem. Again, the poet chooses not to accept feedback, so I will leave you to form your own opinions.

We have a curtail sonnet, Be Quiet!, by UnderYourSpell. I haven't tried this form yet. I believe the spondee (the last line) is supposed to rhyme with the 3rd, 6th, and 9th lines and it's missing two words of the prompt. I enjoyed the poem though. Several lines made me smile, like "hold back or muffle now the first ecstatic cry." It's just a neat little poem. Check it out.

Canvas of Sin by a new poet ClintonW is a steamy, erotic poem. I wish the poet would have done more with the painting/canvas metaphor. If the poet's goal was to be erotic, I think he nailed it (no pun intended).

And last but not least, annaswirls gives us Of Raptors, Dust specks, and Lovers. This was my favorite of Monday's poems. It's a tightly written Tanka that can equally describe dust, raptors, and lovers. Very creative and very well executed. Loved it!

Remember, the review is merely my personal opinion. Go on and try all the poems on for size. Afterall, there are only 11 new poems today.

Last edited by LadynStFreknBed : 02-03-2009 at 09:00 AM. Reason: Finished the Disrupted Review
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Old 02-03-2009, 11:44 AM   #2585
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Tuesday.

Yup that's about it. Tuesday.

<waiting for the goddess of wit and wisdom>

Yup Tuesday. Here I sit a thorn between Lady Monday and Wednesday's swirl.

<still waiting>

::

Let's start with uneven. Two poems today. I loved Drench. Makes me thirsty just reading it.

::

It's the season to get out the seed catalogues and think gardening thoughts. If that makes you want a capital "R" romantic poem then UYS is your girl. Where Honeysuckle Climbs has it all. Even if you are as romantic as yesterday's porridge read it anyway. You might learn something.

::

Next, I enjoyed A Refusal, A Phobia: Mine by DeniseNoe. She has a light touch with words and then smacks you with,

"...
Anhydrous eyes
From inside a Fortress
Of white ash"

... to finish you off.

::

Feeling a bit bland? Need to up your sense of taste without lowering your IQ. Then our boy hmmnmm has just the thing for you with a garlic theme. Read zones on a schedule.

::

By now a bit of a bittersweet ghazal might be called for. Read dancing semaphore by annaswirls. At just ten lines, you won't find better value for your money.

::

It's hard to do much with a tin-foil covered window, even if you are clad in a Survivor buff, but Middleagepoet rises to the challenge in Double-wide Delusion. (Love the title.)

::

Still Tuesday.

<still waiting for a muse>


Fade to gray






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Old 02-04-2009, 11:34 AM   #2586
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New Poems!


sorry I was going to post my real-review up here and forgot... eek....go on, scroll down a bit....
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:43 PM   #2587
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Favorite Poem Of The Day: In my skewed and irrelevant opinion.

36 or so poems ran Darwin’s gauntlet today but only one made it out of the muck toward evolution.

The Blue Book – 1902 by Tristesse2. This has all the elements of good poetry. It tells a story and as such has a beginning middle and end; you would be surprised how many poems do not. It is open and yet not too accessible, this bit of mystery is another component that makes a poem worth reading. The unknown takes you on journey.

But what is the poem actually about? On the surface it seems clear, especially so if you are familiar with the book. Tristesse2 gives a literary shout out at the beginning of the poem. I’m not sure why though maybe just as an acknowledgment of the muse, sort of an artistic full disclosure. I don’t think it’s needed and would have preferred she used those precious lines in other ways. I have not read the book so the source material less encumbers my interpretations. For me the poem is about worth, the idiosyncratic worth of the worthless. Despite their station or vocation there is a beauty in what they do, at least there is in the way Tristesse2 describes it. A melancholy worth that leaves the reader wishing they could thumb through the blue book and ponder the lives on the sheets. I encourage you to take the time to read and wonder a little on this and then let the author know what you thought about the poem.
I for one hope the poem continues beyond this draft it deserves to evolve.
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Old 02-04-2009, 02:24 PM   #2588
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New Poems!
Get them while there are fresh!


The illustrated ones are up! Yeah for me! Except mine did not make it across the transom for some reason.

Holy Crow a lot of new poems. I started reviewing thinking there were not so many, might as well do em all..... sorry this is such a long review!

Here goes:

A The Blue Book - 1902
by Tristesse2©
is just perfect, run down of the working girls in Tom Anderson's Blue Book.
Unmasked poet does a good job reviewing this one and I agree with his assertation.

~

A Illustrated Clerihew
by Angeline©
The mistress of jazz illustrations never disappoints. "sung a tango" brilliant

~


A Pre-Fix
by hmmnmm©
is rockin' cool-- I can see this stapled to the wall of cool coffee shops and on telephone poles. Compliment.

~


A Dione
by LadynStFreknBed©

oooh beautiful, click this one quick! A NASA photo with a lovely haiku.

~


Another Cal collection under the title of:
A Cold Train
by Cal Y. Pygia©

Quote:
MAKING A DIFFERENCE

If you loved men, as I do,
And women, as I do,
The world would be a better place,
Full of kisses and hard
Or soft, as we need it to be,
But most men love women
Only, and most women love men
Exclusively, and such as we
Who love without regard
To mere matters sex or gender
Are too few to make a difference
Except among ourselves.
This one was more direct than some of her others, it made a whole lot of sense to me. I like how she twists genders like blue and pink playdough, then rolls them between her hands until it is just a mushy lovely purpleish Yes.

If Cal has not fallen in love with the Magnetic Fields, I bet she might.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some honorable mentions:

Another collection by Cal Y. Pygia©

A Willing Accomplice

MAGIC ANTELOPE was my favorite

Quote:
And teddy bears and tulips and daffodils,
go see what these three have in common...

~


T Dali's Key
by Tristesse2© wins best title of the day

~


Onley
Number 3 by Tristesse2©
Not my favorite of hers today, but a nice tribute: And how nice to be able to be picky with a Tess showing!
Quote:
Toni Onley 1928 - 2004
Canadian, artist, friend of wilderness, was killed when a heart attack brought his float-plane down. British Columbia, Canada, February 29.


~


Valentine Memory
he makes it look easy! We know it is not. Nicely done.
by Middleagepoet©

~


Colour of Love
by wife2hotblk©
I love this illustration. Poem is okay-- like the ending-- it fits with the picture.

~~~~~~~

Here are some that might tickle your fancy

Two short and sweet ones:
River and Freedom by DecadentAngel©

~



The Big Bang
by quixotic14you©
This one did not really work for me. I liked this line:
Quote:
soft curves illuminate a malformed promise
but bubbling and gurgling, growls and groans is not how I envision the big bang and it did not seem to fit the picture, which was more static and the poem felt very fluid and moving. Maybe I am missing something, of course, it is very possible, go check it out yourself.

~


Shark
by DecadentAngel©
Don't let this one bite you.

~



riter723 has a whole bunch up today. Here is a little taste of this young writer's words. She really puts her heart into her writing.

Shelter From The Storm
Quote:
When my day is dark and gloomy
you're a breeze blowing to me
when the world is cruel and cold
you are always there to hold
In The Raw
by riter723© was my favorite of her offerings today:
Quote:
People stare at me everywhere
try to intermingle or do I dare
so they can only mock my despair
for this is my life in the raw
~


A naughty little sexy thing!
Afterwards
by uneven©

~


I think most of us have been here with icey_hearted

Fading
Quote:
The world already took my innocence
now my last defence
last thing held dear to me
my apathy
by icey_hearted©


Another one:
A Second Chance
by icey_hearted©

I liked this one the best, had a twist in the middle I enjoyed. I would recommend this writer putting their work through a spell checker-- surely spelling is not what matters most, but it does...matter.

Under The Moon
by icey_hearted©

Quote:
With the sun in the sky
I walked the city streets
hidding what I am
from the humans around me
~


Bottled Inside
by LdyNPhx© has gotten one comment so far on her poem-- why not go add another?

Quote:
Fleeting thoughts
never to be indulged
constantly ignored
~


Imagine-A Breast Cancer Tribute
by ramonathompson©

Rewrite of the John Lennon classic
It was hard for me to get an angle on this one. It seemed very serene, serious, and then used the word "boobies" and just made me giggle a little and I thought WAIT this is about breast cancer, stop giggling!

I'm Pregnant
by ramonathompson©
A moving note to the "father"

~


You like Jack off Poems?
Here are two for the price of one

Dear Movie Star
by Jdk44©
and

Just Jack Me Off
by Jdk44©

~


Two sweet and sexy offerings by madelinemadly© Liquid

Quote:
I will dance for you, my feet soft
On the cushion of your mattress
Will you keep your arms folded or reach
forward to touch my skin, warm
under your fingers?
Sohbet
by madelinemadly©

~


Remec© tackles two challenging survivor poems, go cheer him on:

Banshee

Rapunzel
by Remec©

~




That is all for me! What a fine day for Poetry in LitLand!

Remember, it is just me, little ol me. Not to be taken so seriously. Please read, give encouragement, vote, comment, do an interpretive dance, cook oatmeal, come back read more and then well, you know what to do, don't need Mama Anna to tell you.

Have a super duper week y'all.

~AS
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Old 02-05-2009, 09:03 AM   #2589
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Thursday

For me, the best of the day:

On Principle Alone by bflagsst

Coital Meditation by greenmountaineer

Tipplers Anthem by AChild
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Old 02-05-2009, 10:32 AM   #2590
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Best Poem Of The Day. Well, not today.

One day in and I already hate that title. Nothing escaped the perfunctory for me I got nothing. It is akin to going to the store at midnight with a craving and after searching you find they haven’t what you need. In those horrific cases you can sometimes find an alternative to the Hagan Das Sticky Toffee Pudding and sometimes you cant. My alternative to finding something of note is to choose an author of the day rather than a poem.

Cal.Y. Pygia writings are often crisp and the author writes almost exclusively toward their interest, not too surprising when you examine the authors pen name and derive its origin callipygian you know what you are getting. While I understand being focused, this blinder approach is a shame because the world is bigger than gender, transgender or sexual orientation at least it is for me. No slight to the author the poems written are their art but once you publish it you are offering it to me and as I reader I must be able to find something of myself in what you write. At least I have to if you want me to patronize your efforts.

I think Cal.Y. Pygia actually knows this and sometimes writes about non-gender issues through the lens of gender. The problem with that approach to me is that it makes the poet a one-note act. Since you already know what’s coming why read what’s next? I’ll tell you why, that one note can sometimes soar like a symphony. Read what happens when the author can shift focus slightly away from chromosomes and orifices and make that gender issue into a human issue.

Rivers

This is a thoughtful and complex poem not trying to bash the reader over the head but offer a bittersweet gaze into the tempest of inner self and self as part of the world that accepts and denies in the same breath.

Stretched out in burnt umber
Under the sun,
No one could touch
The skin of our dreams


That stanza is the core and from it the poem reaches out and by the last stanza it has recoiled or perhaps a better description is surrendered with a plea to tread lightly. The story is told with a nice metaphor that ties in the title throughout and resonates.

So if you have the time I encourage you take a trip through Cal. Y Pygia poem selections as I did. True I had to read 30 poems to find this one but I can honestly say it was worth the effort.
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:38 PM   #2591
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unmasked Poet View Post

Cal.Y. Pygia writings are often crisp
Yeah, I like his/her poetry also. I had stopped mentioning the poet since there's no comments turned on. I'm sure it's a silly reason. And you would have to show up on a day when I do a crappy non-review. And where the hell have you been? How about Daughter? Is she around?
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:50 PM   #2592
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedEve View Post
Yeah, I like his/her poetry also. I had stopped mentioning the poet since there's no comments turned on. I'm sure it's a silly reason. And you would have to show up on a day when I do a crappy non-review. And where the hell have you been? How about Daughter? Is she around?

Although I can't speak for Cal Y, I was curious about the comment thing myself, so I searched hisher old posts and found way back, they got some really hateful FB, in some form or other and after that, there was no more opps for FB...anyway...
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Old 02-06-2009, 11:29 AM   #2593
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Observations Of The Day

Hello Eve, I am amazed to see this thread still active it is a testament to the community here and the poetry moderators. The tone and inclusiveness is great and a far cry from what I started way back when. Glad it’s still here and a crank like me can come in to pick a poem or two to talk about.

26 poems today and of the three days I have been reading this list these are the most ambitious. That is a very good thing, not that the poems are all great but in my opinion when a poet reaches the poet and the reader are the better for it.

Best Poem of the Day

Over by miss_trust

The poem is clean and gazes on the emotional mile markers of an ending relationship. What allows this poem to stand above the normal “you broke my heart you bitch” poem,
is the controlled use of emotion, the alliteration, the effective use of repetition and consonance.

Read aloud the lines:

winds wept
keening ‘round solids soft
caress through low grass

listen how the author uses the w’s and the s’s to create a very pleasurable sound and rhythm. I have minor issues with the line breaks and the punctuation they do a disservice to the poem for me. I could nit pick more but why? I’ll just shut up and read it aloud a few more times as I suggest you do. miss_trust has other poems on the list they are ok but variations on this theme. This is the one that works and makes the others routine.

Best Poet of the Day

Anna Swirls wins hands down for faithfully executing several forms. Forms are heavy lifting for most poets.

In I Call That Mind Free she manages to fill the form with quoted lines I enjoyed this poem. A challenge for sure and it is enjoyable to read, but it doesn’t say much below the surface. Being hampered by another writer’s words is quite a muzzle; to her credit she makes it work.

Bluebeard's Last Key. She has done a good job with the form. But the form has also hampered her ability to make this poem resonate in my opinion. Her talent has become subservient to the roundelay. That said I do feel this would work quite well as a performance piece just as it is written. There is a moment of wonder to contemplate here:

Sweet love, I have always been your whore
Isn’t that why you first came to me


This should be the central exploration of the poem and not the lines devoted to what the protagonist did but rather what she felt and how she evolved. How did she feel when she first saw him, why would she want something so dangerous? The things to explore here are her motivations. Also from the outset she has gone for the simple rhyme that gives the poem a more juvenile quality. Always avoid me, be, see, thee. Those words allow the poet an easy escape to fill the form and the words lack power (the ability to convey emotion or propel the poem forward) the poem still works and it is worth reading.



The Oh What Might Have Been Award And Still Might Be

Here In Stepford by literayslave

A near perfect title confronts a poem that tries too hard to fulfill its destiny. My guess and I will admit firsthand that I am wrong more than I am right is that the author is new to poetry. By new I mean unfamiliar with what makes things work and why. This poem while mundane has great promise. I can see talent in this and I encourage the writer to continue to post and try to learn as much as she can about poetry. The use of metaphor and some technique could make this poem shine quite brightly.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:58 PM   #2594
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Really you can't lay out too many plans in life. Or you can lay them out but it is advisable to retain plenty of flexibility. Because I've had several interrelated topics in mind, many touched on in my little Fireside thread, and which I keep meaning to extend, but seems that something always comes along and supersedes them, and they grow older, a week, two weeks and they just pile up. I'd thought to use this community platform to perform a sort of marriage for convenience: Context/Internet/Searching/Expectations... not a very traditional marriage, more like a small community of cousins all married to each other.

But when you look over the new ones and see a title like
Having Sex in a Cheap Motel reaches out and practically penetrates you all those plans must go into the wait-another-day file.
Were I feeling quibbly I might say the wording could benefit with another look. Maybe Sexing in a Cheap Motel or Sex in Cheap Motels. But, it's still a catchy title. And what a life that would be, just traveling around town to town, having sex in cheap motels. Sleazy raunchy sex in cheap motels. What more could life be about? It begs to be made a movie. Only needs script, cast, the setting could be Anytown, and it would be directed by John Waters. And strange or not so strange, but when I went to the submissions page to copy the link for Jdk44 I happened to see on the list the Just Jack me Off piece, which I remembered seeing among a recent day of new poems, which I'm pretty sure I would've highlighted as a fave had that been my day to review.

J_Dodd delivers a sorta similar sorta different one-two-punch with Sweet Ouroboros
and
A Tease
I preferred A Tease because of the head-nodding truth that jabs like a stinger. But there's one little portion, or dish amid the spread that is, well, the language doesn't skimp on clarity. Be forewarned: these are not Poems for the Squeamish.

I have a feeling if I was in the mood for a rant about how much I overall despise TV, though I do watch it too much, and if I married that rant with how I really don't like being told what to do, I could enjoy some sympathetic rapport with ramonathompson, who gets a concern off her chest with The DTV Switch is Communism.

Now let's put the the missy's suspicions to rest. She let me fondle four of her pieces today. I preferred:
the rhythmic 'talk talk talk' opening line and its reappearance here and there
in Hypocritical Heart. Song material. Definitely. Or audio poetry. Don't tempt me missy.
the other fave:
Party Crashing. Something about the gin and the ampersands and I could practically hear the clinks of ice in the glasses. Cocktails.


Sapphos Sister offers a whole slew of finely-written works that, if I owned an erotic greeting card company I would gladly pay good bucks for, but I don't own an erotica greeting card company. Still, love the style.

Found Remec's
On Patrol to be a delightful little find amid the bustle of sleazy sex and motels and gin. Always appreciate experimentation, and don't suppose I didn't notice the first stanza or strophe or whatever those things are was punctuation-free, and the second promenaded them. Catchy.

foehn2
has two. Of them Cricket is more my speed, at least today. I went to add a comment to this poem and was surprised to find another, an anonymous, had already done so and accused the poet of something that I did not at all interpret. I thought the piece vivid and sadly funny and observant. In fact, if pressed to declare a favorite, this one would be a top contender.

You gotta watch out for annaswirls
She signed up for Survivor, and unlike me, she's actually writing poetry for it. Now, she'll say all this stuff about how she's afraid or nervous about trying these forms she's not familiar with. But don't let that throw you. I Call That Mind Free is just full of goodies. Really something you should print out. Bluebeard's Last Key would be one I would say to carry with you and sip on it over the course of a long weekend. It's another song. Or three songs.

Well, there's more, much more, many many more. But these were the ones that one first and second perusal caught my attentions enough to lay out the frames.
If I missed a good one or many good ones... you know what to do. No, not those. Yeah. That.
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Old 02-07-2009, 03:21 PM   #2595
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Not For The Faint Of Heart

Nothing Survives In A Vacuum.

Ran through the list today, on Saturdays the angel of appreciation rarely visits me so gird your loins folks, this is one of those days where the holy trinity of poetry seems to rear its head. What is that? Well, I’ll tell you.

1. Love lost and found
2. Poor me
3. Death/Goodbye Cruel World

Strap in, hide the pills and razor blades the list today is a roller coaster of self-indulgent introspecting… eh’ what else do you expect from poets?

Under Your Spell's The Man Who Wasn’t There” is the best form poem of the day and probably the best poem overall. I tried real hard not to enjoy it. But I did anyway. It’s not the most powerful poem I read today, I have issues with words like vibrant but after the dust settled I will grudgingly admit it is the best executed and most consistent. I also read it aloud and enjoyed the ride. Damned rhyme poetry I yield to you this time!

Cal Y Pygia writes and occasional stumbles out of hir universe to respond to comments from poetry critics and life in the collection My Hero and Other Poems. It is wildly uneven, self-indulgent and worth the read. The best of the batch is “Incomplete Study” and “Frightened Bitch”. I must say that none of these poems are erotic so I wonder why they are categorized that way. Just because it has some naughty words does not make it erotic.

Anna Swirls is next with a stream of thought type poem. On This Side lets us look into a therapy session where nothing much happens by design or default, I see the first two-strophes as the patient’s defenses, a place where emotion and honesty are secondary to justification. The self-reflection finally gives way to something no longer defensive and we get to the honesty and truth in the poem. I know it seems weird but give the last strophe a moment of thought. The writer’s intent will flip the switch in your brain and if not ask her what the coital residue means.

I’m done un-strap me Doc and hurry with that mood stabilizer.
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Old 02-08-2009, 12:55 AM   #2596
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Well, I'm here, freakin' late- and I apologize, though it was quite lovely to see Unmasked Poet roll out the carpet for Saturday. The day was crazy, as I thought it would be, and I've only just got in and read today's offerings, having been out since ungodly hours of the morning. Absolute cracking way to start off my first review day, eh?

There were three poems in particular that really wriggled into me. (Presented in submission order)

Of her two poems from Saturday, Into the Mirror by our Patron Saint of Swirly Poetry, Ms. Annaswirls is just exactly the sort of poem I love dipping my fingers into. It reminds me of when you take a chance at a restaurant and order something you wouldn't normally think of, and when it comes it tastes progressively better and better until you're leaving and all you want to do is go right back in and order it again. That restaurant thing doesn't happen to me too much, but that feeling is incredible- when you've been given something that's pleasing on so many levels. And this poem is that, does that, you know.

For me it doesn't start off with a particularly erotic bent, but before I know what's happened it's taken my hand and led me to this place:

but you always allowed me to fuck myself
fucked me with my own words
my image my ego my body
you with your tools and tune lock magistrate
you held the mirror
I held the mirror
our breath condensed letters tracing
fuck yourself baby do it
fuck yourself do it do it


and ends with a request: "roll me down roll me down."
Goddddddddd. It's so invertedly dirty and personal and, for me, visual as well as musical. Musical of body, and cadence. With raw edges. Just, so good.

I really get the sense that there's more clever trickery going on in this poem than I'm able to pick up- and it's behind Anna's eyes. We might not even be allowed to know what it is, but we do know it's there. And it keeps bringing me back.

The second poem that pulled me in for a repeat experience was Butterflies by madelinemadly. I'm not a huge fan of the title because I do think it's one of those too oft-used words/images, but despite that it's a really sweet and tidy little prose poem that does bring thoughts of warmer months (remember that, people? Warmth?) and the sorts of delicious activities that can happen when all feels right and heavy with the world.

I find this image:

scrunch the hem of her dress in your fist to pull her toward you, skinny ribs against your chest, beating heart against your skin

to be particularly enjoyable because it's both easily conjured and easy in its acceptance of you as a reader. You can feel that, understand it, see it.

Do you think when you fuck her it will be like your dream, she will fall to you and away/ like a spring lily on a rough breeze, opening just enough to crush/ you in her petals?

Is also well-crafted. The starkness of the word "fuck" against such delicate wording is interesting.

The third offertory is one that both Unmasked and I certainly agree on. The Man Who Wasn't There by UnderYourSpell is a wonderful little read (and not about a Coen brothers movie). It really makes me think of the Romantic poetry, but more accessible in my mind. For some reason the Romantics tend to tangle up in my head (yes, let the stoning begin. Though, the notable exception to that is Lord Byron. Whatta man) and before I know it I'm a little muddled about who's dead, who's in love, who's humping a tree, and who's hitting the crackpipe (okay, okay, that was mean. Sorry, Romantics). Please to forgive.

Like Unmasked, I am not a devoted fan of rhyme, but Annie's really just made me tingle with happiness. Despite the dark subject matter she crafted the poem with a light hand and used words that buoy the poem and knit it together like a delicate shawl instead of a heavy sweater.

As a prolific crafter of decidedly interesting work, I think it would be a disservice to him/her not to mention Cal. Of the four submissions from Saturday, I enjoyed Nasty Girls and Other Poems most. The thing about Cal's poems (and I hope I'll be forgiven the liberty of speaking somewhat informally- we have not spoken) is that you cannot just read them as you would anything else. The words rather demand that you lie down in the spiderweb for awhile, get good and woolly, and then emerge with a headspace that is reminiscent of Queen Mab on ecstasy, who has just indulged in a long and solemn discourse with a smoldering gay man about Very Existential Things.
And you know what? It doesn't always rub you the right way, but it's kinda damn cool. I don't know that I've run across anyone who tosses the word "interregnum" in a poem which features anal sex. The vocabulary is interesting and the odd tidbits of pithy wisdom make for a few "Hmm" moments, along with a few times where I laughed out loud because something so everyday was mentioned, yet which I wouldn't necessarily think of. Like this:

A pair of buttocks
Looks more naked
When a girl’s pants
Are halfway down
Or a girly boy’s ass
Is visible, sans panty lines;
I’m not arguing
For restraint, just making
An observation while I eye
The orange thongs I have on.


Just, yeah. Pique-y, if I can make up a word.

A poem/song from another of our prolific authors, Ramona Thompson, was Dollhouse Fantasy and I found that as I read I kept nodding until I was grinning because it's Just So True. Also, as a Barbie-lover back in my day, I like the thought of pairing how I used to play with them with this work. Which might sound kind of sick on my part, but I prefer to think it's rather witty on Ramona's, to get my brain to work in that way.

Dreams in Water by miss_trust was also a compact little packet of sheet-y goodness. I admit, the water imagery doesn't fully work for me, mostly because I think she's capable of a deeper parallel, though I think I understand where she was going with it. It's still certainly worth a read, as is all of her work.
The part about the eyes widening was one of those lines where I think about how I enjoy her mind (miss_trust's). It might be easy to dismiss miss_trust as another female poet, without truly reflecting on where her thoughts are coming from, but I find her mind to be quite pleasing and I enjoy her work.

I'd also recommend giving a read to AChild's Till (which starts out resoundingly like a Keats poem, if I may say so) and The Word for Hunger Sounds Like Femme by greenmountaineer. That one wins title of the day for me. Love titles like that.

Thus ends the review. Thank you to everyone who shared their work.
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Old 02-08-2009, 09:43 AM   #2597
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Sunday’s Will Never Be The Same

I’m old enough to have lived through a time when poetry was read on the radio. In my house we would gather around with hot chocolate for the kids, whisky for my father and something red for mum. No this was not before the days of television, my parents would simply turn it off and we would sit in the afternoon light to listen to good and great poets recite their art to us. That Sunday pleasure has been hardwired into my existence.

True to find that joy today I could just open one the books I purchased in the last month and find a morsel to salve my genetic itch. Or I could drop in on the online communities I frequent; obviously I opted for the latter and Sunday’s will never be the same.

Very few poems hit the digital divide today and nothing worked its way into that itch of mine. I will never say today is a day you can skip the New Poem thread. Even on those days when nothing reaches you there is still worth in the reading. I was reminded of that today.

Middleagedpoet posted the best poem of the day in my opinion. Electro-Convulsive Therapy is a spark of humor and irony. While it is not the kind of poem you contemplate or stays with you it is nice to read and may just make you smirk a little. Anytime a poem can elicit a response it is a good thing and deserves to be noticed. What also deserves to be noticed is the breath of topics Middleagepoet tackles. I read 20 of his poems today and was pleased to see that while he holds a proclivity for things BDSM he does not let that personal delight preclude him from taking on the world at large.

He does have a tendency to paint too much! Often his visual tapestries overwhelm the intent of his poetry diminishing the message with pretty pictures. If you are a reader who likes pretty pictures this is a good thing. I like a strong poem whose imagery serves the story. So despite what I didn’t find today I did find a poet who is reaching.

Now excuse me I have to do something about that itch.
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Old 02-08-2009, 09:44 AM   #2598
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Sunday 2/8/09

Morning peeps. Just gotta say that it it is so WAY cool that I can “bitch” about there only being ten poems. Y’all been kicking lately. Yeah, baby!

Okie dokie, out of the ten poems only two caught my interest.



“How Hungry Are You?” by Lee Chambers is one of those poems that gets better the more you read it. Lee writes poetry like a writer (vs. like a poet) so the piece could do with some editing, but it has a LOT of heart in it.

So don't cry to me because I'm gonna prevail
Nothings going to stop me from living this hero's tale


Pretty darn good poem there, “writer dude”. Not bad a’tall!


I can’t help myself – I LIKE limericks. I REALLY liked “Tickle torture Limerick” by annaswirls. It a tribute to her poetry skills that she could actually find two other words, that apply to the subject, which rhyme with Heather!

As always, these are just my personal choices. I encourage you to read all of the offerings and tell me I'm full of crap.
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:25 AM   #2599
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Would you like that sparse or dense?

Lots of ambitious work today, two authors demanded my interest.

Wicked Eve tops my list of worthy reads today, her two poems java and an October poem are sparse and have her trademark mirthful melancholy. These poems work not because of what they say but because of the space between words. Java is the sparsest of the two and not about coffee. The poem doesn’t show us the best parts of the day, just the dots that connect them. It’s mellow, barely sweet with a pleasant after taste.

An October poem is wistful and enjoyable I have an issue with the word profundity oh it’s a good word and all but it is completely out of place, it lacks the clarity and simplicity of the words around it. This just clunks up the poem and disrupts the flow. It is so jarring that it even stops the imagery in its tracks. The poem really doesn’t get its groove back until the wonderful line: “no sun skin thumbprint” maybe this works better if you don’t read it aloud, but you should always read it aloud its poetry.

Hmmnmm’s poetry is demanding and the density of imagery and words does not work for me. There is quality in the work consider Mangler There is enough ideas and imagery in the first stanza for the entire poem, but if he stopped here I guess it wouldn’t be mangled. Read the poem and note the care with which the author constructs it and you will see what I mean. Why do I think it doesn’t work? Each stanza is so demanding that it obliterates the one before. The poem doesn’t build a history so the story/meaning of the poem gets deluded because of the very detail it offers.

Jitter Got Cows is better, it still has his trademark density but it manages a gasp between the imagery. In some ways this is reminiscent of beat poetry. I read the rest of Hmmnmm’s poems and they are all structured this way. If you like the style you will like the two poems posted today. After reading the body of his work I find the poem Pre-Fix to be the best example of his talent.

A word about density, beat poets of the 50’s and 60’s used density but with ideas or statements rather than images. Those statements usually linked to culminate into a final thought or idea. An evolution of that technique is the current popular spoken word style of poetry.

Please read each of these poems several times, read them aloud. Think about them think about space, density and imagery. Go look at your own work what do you see? Later when you have the chance read a poem from an author you own, look at that poem is it open or dense to you?
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Old 02-10-2009, 11:57 AM   #2600
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Tuesday: I've been skimming the last week's reviews and couldn't help noticing the arrival of Unmasked Poet. It's nice to see someone with an older start date who has posted less than your intrepid reviewer. We should start a support group "Low mileage Reviewers". Only driven by little old lady poets (you know who you are) on Sundays.

So what has the day got for us at NEW POEMS? Plenty of volume in spite of a tapering off of Survivor enthusiasm.

::

Middleagepoet does a lovely riff on a poem by the late lamented 2rivers. It's a hard act to follow. He's doubly challenged by using the glossa form. The poem survives nicely but it might be fun to take Through the Sheer Curtained Windows and use it as the starting point for a freer bit of poetry. I think it would become apparent that the poem suffers from being glossa-fied. But then again it may just be my antipathy to poetic form.

::

House, Chicken: A Love Poem by zack_constantine should be on your screen today.
Quote:
I am old—a stringy old cock
of feeble crow and broken spur
and thoughtless, clumsy tongue and fingers.
Read the whole thing. It's loaded with lovely imagery.

::

Darkmaas confesses that he too self medicates ... a lot. That may explain his pleasure reading miss_trust's My Own Doctor. She has another poem today, Readying, that is better. Read them both and see.

::

For those of you who like a bit of narrative to liven up an auto-erotic moment, today you are in luck. Enjoy Keep Me Company by AnAmericanDarling or Jdk44's I Guess I'm Just A Bad Boy
(or maybe Need by danalearns for a BDSM moment)

::

WickedEve has a poem Bulletin Board thumb-tacked to the New Poems list. I thought it would be nice to apply some of Unmasked Poet's sparse/dense analysis for some insight into what seems a fairly random collection of ... well miscellany. I missed something in the analysis but rereading the poem several times helped tweek out a bit of understanding and that is perhaps what reading poetry is all about.

::


That's it for me today.




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