Taking the Pain

I have trawled back through the threads and cannot find one to read or that covers my question in another thread.

I say this in case the topic has been done several times and I am too thick to find it

I have met someone who is wonderful but He enjoys pain ...my pain lolol

In a brief time He has pushed all my limits and more, so I am now in unchartered territory.

How can I increase my pain threashold at the time of receiving pain?

I can take leather straps etc fairly ok but the crop is on a different pain level completly.

My ass is almost black from the crop and it was incredibly painful at the time.

I moaned, screamed and eventually cried when the crop was administered.

As an aside ~ I dislike the crop so much at the moment, that I did try to hide it!!...on reflection this was NOT a good idea lolol

I am sure I can take more pain at the time its administered, because although my ass is very bruised it is not painful to sit on; as long as I don't throw myself down on a chair lolol

Yes He re-assured me whilst saying 'I had to take it....and what a good girl I was;' He also gave good aftercare.
However I would like be able to take more, more quietly.

Does anyone have any hints or tips about how to manage the new and intense pain so I can cope with more?

Thank you

shy slave

The only thing I might suggest is talking to your Dom/Sir/Master about helping you to increase your pain limits.

I've found with myself it really depends on the moment, the time, and what's happening.

When He spends time working on me slowly, I slip deeper and deeper into subspace, the longer he works, the more pain I can take. Especially if he has a rhythm to his working.

There's times that He brings me a lot of pleasure while working on me, by either playing with me, or fucking me. The mixture of the pleasure, mixed with the pain, also enables me to endure a great deal more.

Then of course.. there are times when being punished that I'm supposed to feel the very real pain of punishment.. both physical and mental.

Overall I'm afraid I can't offer any specific suggestions for increasing your pain tolerance yourself. But it might be something you suggest to him as something you want to work on.

And just as a side note, it's great to hear that he gives you good aftercare. It's wonderful when they're really great at that.

I enjoy pain, and He is ever careful to not hurt me too much, just a little more than I think I can bear... He knows my threshhold better than I do. When those times come, I pick one spot.. whether a stripe on the pillow cover, or a chink in the wall, or a stud on the cuffs, and I just don't let my eyes leave it. I hardly blink, concentrating so hard... HONESTLY try to move it with your mind... your concentration will eventually get so firm that you'll 'forget' the whipping you're getting.. it will lessen the pain to dullness (at least, in my experience), and you'll be fascinated with whatever you're looking at. This kind of concentration has absolutely silenced me before, and He was concerned that I had somehow just zoned out, or something from pain.. and I was fully responsive, and He was amazed at my control. I was heartily rewarded for it.. *grin*


But give it a shot.. it's worth a try.

Ok, I don't enjoy pain, except for hickies, but I've been able to handle it. (a tonsillectomy done by a med student in which the pain meds wore off and the student did such a bad job that supervising doc finally shoved him out of the way after saying something rude to him, and when he said 'spit' and I accidentally spit on the student, the other students cheered -- I ended in an oxygen tank but was able to deal with the pain without screaming or crying. Also had a 38 hour backlabor birth with no pain meds.)
Handle it by using self-hypnosis techniques, which involve things like monitoring your breathing, can include counting backwards or taking yourself to a safe mental place. Check out your library for books. Also, humming loudly helps me, oddly enough.
Even better, if I can get there, is to go Into the pain, allow it mentally and open yourself to it rather than fight it, there's a certain point where I can get such a buzz (endorphins, I guess). That one works the best, if you can get there.

And when I don't work techniques -- in my regular state -- right now for instance, I'm squirming around because the seam of my pants is uncomfortable and the soft wire from the mouse to the keyboard was bothering me. In other words, I don't have a high pain/discomfort tolerance, the techniques just work.

Are you sure you want to go there, though, to take yourself way into uncharted territory? Just checking -- so don't anybody jump me for asking (unless you really Have to ) but you did just meet this guy it sounds like, and he's already past your limits? Sure you want this? Why?

I guess it depends both on your body, and on what your Dominant expects, shy. To me he sounds a sadist which if he is like my Master, he needs to know you feel the pain to get his full fix. Master does not like the idea of subspace to escape from the pain, and thankfully I am not prone to it, and he also does not allow using methods of concentration to block it out as best you can. He wants it to hurt otherwise there is little point in it for him.

I have found my body has extended it's threshold over time, though there are times when a slight touch may be almost unbearable....seems to be part body, part mindset at the time. Being prepared for it also helps, his warnings a moment before he is about to deliver a particularly painful stroke etc. It may be this will happen for you also over time. Best idea is to discuss with your D where their kick comes from so you understand where you stand and what to expect and work toward.

Catalina

thank you for the advice

Thank you for your suggestions zaudika and vixenshe.

I did try the concentrating but was just too aware of the wait for the next falling of the crop lol. I need to really focus I guess.
Working up to it sounds reasonable and I will talk to Him about it but I think that I will be still focused on what the pain will become *sigh*.

I have learnt that when you try to hide things or top fron the bottom the punishment is just pain, pain, pain!!!

Phoenix you always ask such great questions, you are right I have only just met Him.
Previously I have had the occassional 'play' and one on-line relationship.
Yes I am sure I want to this...'Why?' I don't know!!
It feels 'right' with Him. As a generalisation i tend to analyse everything. This time however It seems enough to just accept how I feel.
He makes me live in the 'moment' if that makes sense.
Every previous minute and second is irrelevent it is simply 'now.'
Through various 'net sites and other places I have spoken to and met lots of Dom and wannabe Doms.
It is was the way He took control when we met, and I allowed Him without barriers or questions. Very much a first for me as even in vanilla relationships I tended to top from the bottom without knowing what I was actually doing.

Catalina Thank you for your input, He is a sadist, but we have discussed subspace and he would like me to try to get there as an experience for me; to understand and feel what it is like.
He is happy for me to learn and explore but ultimately He enjoys my pain.
If Franciso does not allow you to block the pain, was it continual pain experience that enabled you to increase your pain threshold?

Thank you

shy slave

Re: thank you for the advice

shy slave said:

Catalina Thank you for your input, He is a sadist, but we have discussed subspace and he would like me to try to get there as an experience for me; to understand and feel what it is like.
He is happy for me to learn and explore but ultimately He enjoys my pain.
If Franciso does not allow you to block the pain, was it continual pain experience that enabled you to increase your pain threshold?

Thank you

shy slave

Click to expand...

Francisco did want to give me the experience of subspace so I would know it, just as your Dominant, but just not something he wishes me to enjoy on a regular basis as it doesn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I am experiencing the pain. Strange thing is we never reached subspace as he and most people seem to understand it, but I have developed a strange uncontrollable fits of laughter thing with many extreme pain play methods...and when the pain is most intense. Is weird, but we are thinking this is my version of subspace. Sheesh, my body has always had a habit of reacting differently to most all my life....even have a bone in each foot that has never been seen on anyone else!!

As to increasing the pain threshold, I think in part it was an advantage I am an extreme masochist and painslut myself. My first ever session with a Dominant left me bruised all over and I had begged for more while he stoood there shaking his head. We have moved steadily forward, experimenting and exploring, and I think over time it gradually shifted to include more and more. Also, if we do not play with pain for awhile, we notice I slip back a bit which of course he loves.

Catalina

Re: thank you for the advice

shy slave said:

Yes I am sure I want to this...'Why?' I don't know!!
It feels 'right' with Him. As a generalisation i tend to analyse everything. This time however It seems enough to just accept how I feel....
It is was the way He took control when we met, and I allowed Him without barriers or questions. Very much a first for me....

Click to expand...

Sounds good to me! Best kind of knowing -- knowing without knowing why.

The other thing that could help, if don't want to avoid the pain in the myriad ways that can be done (all of which likely have to do with increasing your body's endorphins,) would probably rely on how pain fibers work. They are on-off, and once they've fired, can't fire again for a short amount of time. Which imay have something to do with why Catalina feels more pain after she's had a break. So, you'll feel more pain from a surprise blow than if that same spot was hit lightly or even rubbed before the blow. Relaxing your muscles will keep you from feeling as much pain, too. (Both of those last tricks are things we used when I had to have over 100 shots for fertility treatment -- and me with a now former) needle phobia!)
Oh, and sugar reduces how much pain you feel a little. Dessert anyone?

shy slave said:

Yes He re-assured me whilst saying 'I had to take it....and what a good girl I was;' He also gave good aftercare.
However I would like be able to take more, more quietly.

Click to expand...

]


but screams of pain are such a turn on.

AA

Yes, so he says

or in other words My pain, His pleasure lol

shy slave

Beat me, Bite me, Whip me, Fuck me!

Love the topic, love the hot pictures in my mind!

<----NOT a painslut...

...this discussion has given me an ache across my ass where I am sure I would feel a crop or lash if struck with one!

I am sorry that I cannot offer suggestions for how to increase your pain threshold. I've been trying to figure that out for myself. I did serve a sadist...and I used to go completely numb - mind, body and soul. But, I didn't feel with him as you do with your D. And it makes a BIG difference in your desire to please, which is always a good thing.

I wish you lots of luck as you search for ways to deal with being a pleasing submissive. I cannot fathom the pain levels of which you speak (nor Catalina, for that matter ). I will say that there is tremendous satisfaction in hearing the words, "You have pleased me."

And that is more than enough to make what ever He has asked worth every minute.

Esclava

shy slave said:

I have trawled back through the threads and cannot find one to read or that covers my question in another thread.

I say this in case the topic has been done several times and I am too thick to find it

I have met someone who is wonderful but He enjoys pain ...my pain lolol

In a brief time He has pushed all my limits and more, so I am now in unchartered territory.

How can I increase my pain threashold at the time of receiving pain?

I can take leather straps etc fairly ok but the crop is on a different pain level completly.

My ass is almost black from the crop and it was incredibly painful at the time.

I moaned, screamed and eventually cried when the crop was administered.

As an aside ~ I dislike the crop so much at the moment, that I did try to hide it!!...on reflection this was NOT a good idea lolol

I am sure I can take more pain at the time its administered, because although my ass is very bruised it is not painful to sit on; as long as I don't throw myself down on a chair lolol

Yes He re-assured me whilst saying 'I had to take it....and what a good girl I was;' He also gave good aftercare.
However I would like be able to take more, more quietly.

Does anyone have any hints or tips about how to manage the new and intense pain so I can cope with more?

Thank you

shy slave

Click to expand...

If you look at things differently the pain is not something that is unbearable. This is gonna sound weird but if you allow yourself to actually feel what is happening it wont hurt in the way you say. The sensation itself is pleasureable. Being afraid of it is what makes your mind THINK it's a bad thing. Savor it, let your whole body feel it, learn to be in love with it... crave it...need it ,and your feelings will quickly change on the idea of things being painful or unbearable. Remember also, during...that this is all for Masters pleasure, if you think of that right now im sure you get the tingle, if you think of it during that tingle turns to something more intense and wonderful.
I dont know if this helps but it is how i really do see things and i dont have a problem handling any pain that is given... and when you begin to realize that pain only hurts bcause someone told you it should, a whole new world opens up.

Esclava

I am not a painslut either but think I may have to learn!!

Kajira
I tried to savour and crave the pain but need more practice at that....!!

You are right though, it is the thinking of the pain that is worse than some of the actual pain ~ *I hope He doesn't read this*

Found focusing on a spot was difficult because i kept wriggling away ~ not a good idea

Counting each stroke helped, even if it was through gritted teeth.
But at least i had an idea of how far I had come in terms of time endurance.

He tells me He barely touches me with the crop or whip, but as its not His ass, what does He know

Pain levels & pain endurance will continue to be a uphill battle for me for a while I guess.

Although I confess that I am enjoying working out just what I can and can't cope with, pain-wise, and seeing/feeling the marks afterwards has a strange euphoria for me.

shy slave

Ummmm, has anybody given any thought to the fact that it may be ....

ye gods...

HIM?

Maybe he needs to warm you up longer?

Why is it that everyone assumes that something is instantaneously wrong with the submissive? *eyeroll*

Oh. Right. All doms are perfect. I forgot that rule. *snicker*

shy, how long is he warming you up? and with what? You may just need a longer warm up, you know? Everyone's nervous system isn't the same. A longer warm up will allow your endorphin levels to come up, and you will have a higher tolerance for pain, and hopefully, start to reach some level of sub-space along with it.

If he's wailing away on you without an appropriate warm-up, no wonder you are having a hard time. Some pain sluts aren't built in a day. It took months of hard WORK for me to get there, but here I am.

Personally, I don't think it's some magical thing *shrugs*. A dominant can create a pain slut, it's all in the work, and the patience he and his submissive put into it.

Enough with this bullshit that the submissive is always the fucked-up one.

As ever, I own my two cents,

~anelize

AnelizeDarkEyes said:

Ummmm, has anybody given any thought to the fact that it may be ....

ye gods...

HIM?

Maybe he needs to warm you up longer?

*eyeroll*

Click to expand...

Rolls them back. They look prettier in your head m'lady ... http://forum.1st-vets.us/images/smiles/cool2.gif

Have a sit down with your PYL shy. To begin with, a crop is usually a slender instrument. It might fall into the category of a blunt impact device, but i think of it as a cutting tool.

Try a little experimentation, and as a suggestion, have him start with an open palm. The crop doesn't register anything to his nervous system except resistance at impact. An open palm feels the impact. As an area, on you, becomes reddened and overloaded, have him shift to another area. Your system gets a new jolt, but gives you time to recover at the former. His hand, however, still has to deal with continuing to deliver the impact.

His thrill? He gets to pick the new area, and if you both choose, you don't see it coming until impact. He also gets to return to a "used" area whenever he wishes. If he's smart, he'll take his time moving back to an area he's already engaged. Over time, he can return a little quicker. In the long run, his mind might transfer the learned response when using a crop.

Overall, your body gets to adjust, his exhuberance slows down a bit, and you both get used to building a bonfire with the wood available instead of Eddie Murphy's uncle dumping gasoline on the backyard BBQ.

AnelizeDarkEyes & AngelicAssassin

Anelize
Thanks for your two cents worth Its always welcome.

Yes it may well be lack of a warm-up and therefore ~ *whispers and looks round* ~ Him not me!!

Wow what a thought

Its a good point though and I will talk to Him about bringing my endorphin levels up slowly.

AA
Your input on this is appreciated, both from a Dom point of view and someone who I have come to respect.

Your experiment regarding getting Him to understand how it feels to engage in the pain, makes sense, to me anyway.

Your analogy of building bonfires is great and explains the long term benefits well

With all this support I may well end up a real painslut....then again...lol

Thank you

shy slave

Ava said it, and Catalina sorta said it, but the pain, and signs of it, is the point. I gather. For the person (inflicter) in question.

Why would anyone (the receiver, like shy) whose partner sought to inflict pain for arousal, try to RAISE their threshhold, i.e., feel LESS. (Which would mean *fewer signs, unless faked.)

I've often wondered if there's a drug to give to the pain receiver that would LOWER the threshhold, so that even a mild lashing or a slight pricking would be extremely painful. If inflicting pain were my main 'thing', that's what I'd be looking for, NOT an alleged sub who was learning, through self hypnosis, to avoid feeling any discomfort if you flog her half to death.

Just my 2 cents.

Pure said:

Ava said it, and Catalina sorta said it, but the pain, and signs of it, is the point. I gather. For the person (inflicter) in question.

Why would anyone (the receiver, like shy) whose partner sought to inflict pain for arousal, try to RAISE their threshhold, i.e., feel LESS. (Which would mean *fewer signs, unless faked.)

I've often wondered if there's a drug to give to the pain receiver that would LOWER the threshhold, so that even a mild lashing or a slight pricking would be extremely painful. If inflicting pain were my main 'thing', that's what I'd be looking for, NOT an alleged sub who was learning, through self hypnosis, to avoid feeling any discomfort if you flog her half to death.

Just my 2 cents.

Click to expand...

LOL, that is why he 'rests' me so the pain threshold alters again. As for drug, mmmm, not sure I would want that, but abrasion works wonders. Has been a few months now since we had the good abrasion session and the skin had to grow back...pain has been increased ever since the new growth. We have also found it near impossible in the last year or so to bruise me without a lot of effort over a few days...so going on marling can be deceptive.

Catalina

With my first Dom, i was expected to take a lot of pain... A LOT... even with him knowing that it was my first time doing any of this...

With my current Dom, i actually can take more, but He's afraid of hurting me...

i would suggest just taking it slow. Don't be ashamed of what you can't take... it will come with time and patience

Take the pain.

What can i say...it's hot.

I'm not hurting you for your own good.

I'm not hurting you because you like it.

I'm hurting you just to hurt you.

Shut up and take the motherfuckin' pain.

Well having lurked, gone and practiced i realised i had been trying to 'get ready' for it. But as suggested, warming me up, and getting the endorphins flowing then 'walking into the pain' seems to work for me. Thanks.
Having a evolutionary equal in my so helps a lot too.

And rascoe, tsk tsk (shakes head). If i were with someone who said shut up and take the pain, id better be properly secured.

shelleb4 said:

And rascoe, tsk tsk (shakes head). If i were with someone who said shut up and take the pain, id better be properly secured.

Click to expand...

I dunno. I'm just big, fast and mean. That usually does it.

Pure said:

Why would anyone (the receiver, like shy) whose partner sought to inflict pain for arousal, try to RAISE their threshhold, i.e., feel LESS. (Which would mean *fewer signs, unless faked.)

Just my 2 cents.

Click to expand...

Since we're dropping pennies, try these on for size. Why would i want a 60 second wailing drive-by? i haven't been a one minute wonder for longer than some on this board have been alive. Strike that, pun intended. i haven't been able to Gett Off in less than 15 minutes, ever. (Yeah, i know, so much for the quickie fantasies.) You want a "not fun whatsoever" PYL, force me to get it quick, or not at all. If my jollies get curtailed (read do it quickly), i end up pacing for the night/day/night.

i'm not sure about the rest of the folks around here, but i like to relish my pleasures. i like the taste of blood, sweat and tears. When i'm through fucking/rutting/making love/whatever your definition for copulation, i want to know to the marrow of my bones i've done something. i want to pick up her hand, let it go, and watch it flop. If it means i have to work up a sweat to get there, well hot damn, and pass the Tobassco. i'd rather train, both myself and my partner, for whatever kink in which we participate, because regardless of the media bs, it takes more than three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Pure said:

I've often wondered if there's a drug to give to the pain receiver that would LOWER the threshhold, so that even a mild lashing or a slight pricking would be extremely painful. If inflicting pain were my main 'thing', that's what I'd be looking for, NOT an alleged sub who was learning, through self hypnosis, to avoid feeling any discomfort if you flog her half to death.

Just my 2 cents.

Click to expand...

yes, ecstacy, but it is a very bad idea.