Bits and pieces

[shadysmurfette]

Dark, sexy and beautiful.

[Vixxennn]

I wish I could express how much I love this.

But I can't.

Beautiful. Every aspect.

[y=mx+b]

Thank you.

I seem to have a lot of words to say about the things I say things about these days.
When I get around to being more succinct, I will be just that.

Feel free to find something to masturbate to while you wait. Actually, find a couple things to masturbate to as it will probably be awhile.

[y=mx+b]

I would do it
And it would be good.

I caught myself about to name a name
but remembered where I was.

I may be a bit drunk

okay... I am.


But not so much as to say your name
Which is awesome because it could be anyone.
It could be you
Reading these words
Addressing you as I am

As I do

As I love

As I miss

As I type with my right eye closed
So that I can access the left side of my brain more accurately
Because I fucking need it now more than ever
Because ever is so seldom anyway.


I have a couple photos
If I had edited them I would post them
But I didn't
Because they didn't like my eye when they crossed paths.

You see
My eyes are blue
And these photos were all like "we like darker eyes!"
And I was like... "Photos... though my eyes and you don't like each other I like you because like you I like darker eyes.

My wife has darker eyes... damn near typed her name. That's strike two on the "yeah... I probably shouldn't be here right now list"

Better here than facebook
Because here I can talk about fucking and rape fucking and happy fucking and romantic fucking and just having fallen in love fucking and cocks and sucking cocks and having cocks sucked and rope and kilt sex... which by the way is difficult to really put into words in a way that isn't so obviously obvious because how often have we all read a story that's been all like "dbz this and dbz that and dbz this and dbz that..." and we are like "yeah... I know... I FUCKING GET IT!" and I'm not even all that great of a writer person to even think about writing such without it being so... fetishy. Few things are worse then a porn story that doesn't move too far beyond what makes it so... novel. (see what I did there... a play on words... see it? It's funny because I am funny... at times... in person... sometimes... when I am not vexed. I will tell you a story here shortly. it's a short story but it's a beautiful one and I will tell it because I want to tell her but when I get to writing her a letter I never get to say so because the topic is more about real life things than dream like things that should be dream like things and would be dream like things if the things didn't actually happen in real life.)

so yeah... 50 shades of grey, you fucking fail because how many times can a woman be tied up and slapped in the face before reading about it gets fucking old?

Answer? Once. Which is why I am going to tell you this real life story because I've already been down the rope path and all that.

Interestingly that's sorta what brought her to me... the knife girl.

The one in the photos I posted some time ago
The one I miss
Sometimes
A lot of the time
More than others
Because she's important to me
In a brother/sister type way... close.
Sexy close
Intimately close

yet... remaining mostly nothing to each other where we can be together and be nothing more together... but together in a together two lovers feel the moment they part forever

only we never part.
we live our respective lives
we touch base
I hurt her
she hurts me
we move on together

by being apart.


I miss her.



The story goes like this...

She was visiting for... I think she only stayed one night.
We did another photo shoot
I don't remember if I posted any of the pics
I think I did
Pretty sure I did now that I think about it.

I tied her up
The experience was for her
The photos were for her boyfriend

We were alone

Naked.


We didn't fuck.
I did things to her that got her off.

She did things to me
but I denied her my orgasm

because that's how I roll.


I permit your judgment
and accept your ruling.

My reality isn't affected.



and if you believe this... this far. Go right ahead. Infer what you will. I wouldn't, but you can.

Because it's fun
And what do you know anyway

Right?


I will tell you what you will know,
and you will know this...

I was laying there with my eyes closed
Tired as fucking hell

Tired... always fucking tired... strong... capable of profound physical violence... controlled physical violence... surrounding a mind that types things like this... words like this... thoughts like this... bending and fucking and working and rolling and convecting and never fucking EVER ending in their fiction and incoherent realities that are best slept through in a sleep that happens but never really fully.

My eyes are closed as my body feels her seeing me
As she lays there sideways... naked... looking at me... naked beyond being visually naked.

I feel her movement as she speaks.
She delicately touches the spot between my eyebrows
The spot perpetually stitched together by thoughtless emotions that tumult what joy that does happen into what doesn't happen
Forever erasing it from actual experience,

saying...







It's good to see you so peaceful.



And like that...
I am sober.

Good night.

[AG82]

You know ... your words take me out of my own life for a while and into the mind of someone I don't understand - could never understand - but I am greatful for the small glimpses of the thoughts that moves there.

So thank you

[shadysmurfette]

You never fail to deliver something evocative.

[y=mx+b]

[y=mx+b]

...not that I'm actually going to pursue trying to do such a thing. Okay... I would if given a willing subject to sit through possible hours of me going "okay... now does this end go over that end and then through the loop? Or does that end go over this end under the loop around the left then up through the loop? Goddamnit were's the fucking picture..."

And there would probably be mosquitos.

[sweetguava]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

...

[ADVR]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

Amazing photo. I think it would be worth trying to replicate.

[y=mx+b]

Originally Posted by sweetguava

...

I know! Right?

[y=mx+b]

Originally Posted by ADVR

Amazing photo. I think it would be worth trying to replicate.

That's the exact same order of my thinking when I happened upon the image. But then I got to remembering my view of shabari and how much of an impractical waste of time it is. My opinion of course. Makes for pretty pictures though.

[Vixxennn]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

...not that I'm actually going to pursue trying to do such a thing. Okay... I would if given a willing subject to sit through possible hours of me going "okay... now does this end go over that end and then through the loop? Or does that end go over this end under the loop around the left then up through the loop? Goddamnit were's the fucking picture..."

And there would probably be mosquitos.

Hah. Other than the mosquitoes it sounds pretty ok.

But then again being naked around you always sounds good.

[theapproachingcurve]

You find the tree, I'll supply the rope.

(I know the drill.)

[sweetguava]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

I know! Right?

It looks amazeballs,

but... I can't help but wonder how long she was left like that while the photography was going on.

[y=mx+b]

"I really don't know why... it doesn't make any sense to me...
but when you grab a hold of my hair and tell me to suck your balls,
and push my face into my pillow when you fuck me...
really makes me feel wanted and loved."

.................................................................................-my wife-

[Vixxennn]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

"I really don't know why... it doesn't make any sense to me...
but when you grab a hold of my hair and tell me to suck your balls,
and push my face into my pillow when you fuck me...
really makes me feel wanted and loved."

.................................................................................-my wife-

I'm so happy she's your wife.

I think I'm a little in love with her too.

[y=mx+b]

not to brag or anything.
it's just hearing her say so last night made me feel good.


that is all.

[y=mx+b]

Originally Posted by Vixxennn

I'm so happy she's your wife.

I think I'm a little in love with her too.

I am too
She's the perfect foil to my absurdity to the point of being absurd herself.
And though she is sitting behind me on the couch... I kinda miss her.
Which is why I'm not going to be around much longer after I post this... if at all.

Good night

[shadysmurfette]

For you and your lovely wife

You both are lucky to have each other and we are lucky you share with us.

[Vixxennn]

Originally Posted by y=mx+b

I am too
She's the perfect foil to my absurdity to the point of being absurd herself.
And though she is sitting behind me on the couch... I kinda miss her.
Which is why I'm not going to be around much longer after I post this... if at all.

Good night

This is what I want.

Someone that might ever understand my crazy absurdities.

Good fucking luck to me.

[MakeYourWhore]

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek.

Somehow Shakespeare makes me think of you.

[y=mx+b]

First...

Originally Posted by MakeYourWhore

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek.

Somehow Shakespeare makes me think of you.

In that we are both kind of a pain-in-the-ass to read?
Thank you.





Second...

I always feel kinda weird after I share, gush, or whatever about my relationship with my wife. I say something sweet and honest and warm-fuzzies abound and you all are *swoon* or some shit like that. Some of you all others are "god I love it when you're all like that, but fuck you. Fuck you for reminding me that I don't have that... that I am alone... that my husband/boyfriend/whatever is an absolute asshole dick... " Blah blah blah...

Fact of the matter is... I am an asshole dick. And if I'm not... I certainly have been. Relationships suck. Doesn't matter. They suck. When they are good they are merely okay. It's the truth. There is always something. An undercurrent. An around the bend.

My wife and met in highschool
We were each others first fuck
We waited until we were married.
I was 21
She was 19

Sweet isn't it?
Greeting card sweet
Sickeningly sweet.

Every female half of every couple we met
Every female friend my wife or I befriend

They all react the same after we answer the same undying question of "so how did you meet?"

Doesn't matter how fucking sexually liberated, sexually open, vigilantly independent, socially progressive... it's always the fucking same. The same fucking glassy-eyed 8 year old inner princess every girl keeps inside no matter how many times they try to murder her bubbles up to the surface.


I was giving my wife a foot massage
We were talking about us
About our relationship
About who we are
Where we've been
What we've been through
And we're talking when she says...
"I should have left you a long time ago..."
And I say... because I was listening...
"I know. You should have."

It was my birthday.
And I was okay with it.
It was a good conversation.


How funny is that?



There is no end
Happiness... it's something only seen in other people and never in the mirror except for the one behind you. You pass through it in a stupid stumbling haze of chasing after it. It's in the next orgasm. The next social interaction. The next internet interaction. The next whatever.

And it is.
It really is
But for someone else.


My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. The most important.
She's gotten me laid by more women than I could have gotten to lay me by myself. Everything about me that you find attractive is because of her... except for the bat-shit crazy parts.

Those parts are all me
The parts that push her away.


Think about how little I post here
It's awesome when I do isn't it?
When I pop in and go "Hi!" "I see you" "I have something I want to tell you"

an aside... I am watching the Grammy Awards. Someone I know and love and that is very near and dear to me that hasn't been talked about here in the forums told me recently that the singer of Maroon-5 reminds her of me... not so much in looks, but in mannerisms. Can't say I see it... but I don't follow the guy or the band and know very little about both... so... whatever... maybe so.

But here I am... Hi... I see you. Vixx, Shady, MYW, Approaching, ADVR, sweetguava, DRL, p2b, lurkers, shadow people, you that want me to see you... I do.

Sucks when I don't doesn't it? Sucks when you comment and I blow you off... sucks to sit there intimidated, scared of sending me a PM, scared of being rebuffed, scared of whatever you are scared of... and I am just a guy on the internet. No one real in your life. I show up, I go away. You continue dealing with the bullshit that you deal with while hearing about the light as air fairy-tale life of others, seeing it everywhere but in front of you, in side of you.

So does my wife.

Not all of the time
But sometimes

Sometimes she has no one

Imagine that, all this time together... no one.



Who marries that?
Who falls in love with that?
Who hopes for it?



I hope to be married to my wife.
I want to be married to my wife.
I love her.
I hope we never part.

Even if we don't
We will.

I will die.
I will die before her.

Imagine that, all this time together... no one.


That's the end of your fucking fairy tale ladies. That's how you kill your inner princess.

[Vixxennn]

Fuck you.

[y=mx+b]

that said...

It's fucking awesome.

Finding someone
Being with them
In love
With love.

Fucking
sucking
being everything the other wants
giving them everything they want another to give them
--but not being another.

It's fucking awesome.

I fuck the fuck out of her
She fucks the fuck out of me

We see something
We here about something
We go.. "so... what do you think?"
We both know the baseline fucking kicks ass already...

different things aren't going to fuck it up.

Try it, like it, make it our own, call it home.
Try it, hate it... so what?

And you never really hate it... it may end up not being one or the other's thing... but you don't spend a week in the south or the north or europe or Australia or wherever you do not call home without coming home with a bit of a twang or lilt to your pronunciation of a few particular words.

so yeah... fuck all that bullshit I wrote. Dream the dream if you don't have it because the sleep you feel while trying feels so fucking goddamn wonderful.