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Old 03-06-2004, 03:34 AM   #1
frogmaster
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My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

My wife wants to try out having sex with some of our animals. Has anyone done it that can give me tips and stories.
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Old 03-06-2004, 03:34 AM   #2
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Re: My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

Quote:
Originally posted by frogmaster
My wife wants to try out having sex with some of our animals. Has anyone done it that can give me tips and stories.
My tip is not to do it.
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Old 03-06-2004, 10:51 AM   #3
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Troll much?
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Old 03-06-2004, 11:54 AM   #4
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Re: My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

Quote:
Originally posted by frogmaster
My wife wants to try out having sex with some of our animals. Has anyone done it that can give me tips and stories.
the phrase I love most here is " some of our animals". Whadda ya got guy, a menagerie? A portable petting zoo?
I can see it now, all the critters lined up at the foot of the bed...
lemme see now, the dog is a definate yes, but I'm not so sure about the iguana and there's now way in hell I'm letting the cockatile near my pussy but the ferret and the guinea pigs are a must!!

sheesh!!!!
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Old 03-06-2004, 11:56 AM   #5
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Re: Re: My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

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Originally posted by Mskey
the phrase I love most here is " some of our animals". Whadda ya got guy, a menagerie? A portable petting zoo?
I can see it now, all the critters lined up at the foot of the bed...
lemme see now, the dog is a definate yes, but I'm not so sure about the iguana and there's now way in hell I'm letting the cockatile near my pussy but the ferret and the guinea pigs are a must!!

sheesh!!!!
But a goat would be a natural for a troll.
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Old 03-06-2004, 11:57 AM   #6
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Re: Re: Re: My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

Quote:
Originally posted by midwestyankee
But a goat would be a natural for a troll.
and the vibration when it bleats...oooohhhhh!
lol!
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Old 03-06-2004, 12:05 PM   #7
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But you all missed the telling user Name!! Frogmaster!

I've been picturing him whipping a whole herd of frogs, which are hopping ahead -- but they'll only let some of them on the bed.

(And what better pet for a troll?)
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Old 03-06-2004, 12:24 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phoenix Stone
But you all missed the telling user Name!! Frogmaster!

I've been picturing him whipping a whole herd of frogs, which are hopping ahead -- but they'll only let some of them on the bed.

(And what better pet for a troll?)
Geez, where's Celtic Frog when you need her?
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Old 03-06-2004, 01:58 PM   #9
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Insert tab A into slot B. Repeat.
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Old 03-06-2004, 02:01 PM   #10
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I want to have sex with someone who scratch the hell outta my back.
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Old 03-06-2004, 02:42 PM   #11
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If he's smart, he'll stay far, far, far away from the ferrets.
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Old 03-06-2004, 03:35 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by SlickTony
If he's smart, he'll stay far, far, far away from the ferrets.
LMAO!

And the hamsters. Those are bitchy little things.

S.
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Old 03-06-2004, 06:10 PM   #13
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I wouldn't recommend the bulls either.
Or the smallest little goats- may push you off the bridge.
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Old 03-06-2004, 07:23 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by SlickTony
If he's smart, he'll stay far, far, far away from the ferrets.
Very very true. They may seem lazy at times...but if he hasn't seen that scene from The Big Lebowski where he's in the tub and they put the ferret in...let's just say that wasn't a bj he was getting down there. Ouch.
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Old 03-06-2004, 10:28 PM   #15
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go for it

dont worry what everyone else says i say go for it.
the only sane animals that any genger would like would be dog, horse, goat, sheep, maybe a cow, (anything with 4 legs and is tall enough for her to go under for her to get fucked and to suck them, and the same for the guys as long as you can fit it in there without getting blood from them then you will be OK
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Old 03-06-2004, 10:28 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by midwestyankee
Geez, where's Celtic Frog when you need her?
OKAY, OKAY... here I am.

Now... lemme see here... gotta actually READ the damn thread.

To be continued...
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Old 03-06-2004, 10:33 PM   #17
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Re: My wife wants to have Animal Sex??

Quote:
Originally posted by frogmaster
My wife wants to try out having sex with some of our animals. Has anyone done it that can give me tips and stories.
I think its a baaaaaaaaaad Idea...

This really gets my goat! Posts like this make me think this board is going to the dogs!

Perhaps its because he isn't hung like a stallion?

Geez, just replying to this is making an ass out of me!

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Old 03-06-2004, 10:37 PM   #18
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GACK

Okay, starting at the top.

Ew.

MsKey, I'm thinking something like a living room zoo, with tons of different cages and whatnot. One cage for each climate. DAMN, I've been playing Zoo Tycoon too much.

Phoenix Stone, I take offense to that. You know, I'm easily offended...
All the same, I was just SAYING the other day that I've never really gotten to be anyone's pet before, but I'll tell you right now I will NEVER be a troll's pet. EVER. And no one other than the Ranger (who has been called a meerkat before... hm.) will ever be MY master.

MWY, I'm here now, and don't worry. I was having a great day. There's a dent on the top of our chest freezer now, but that's A-OK with me. And I'm learning all about the wonders of biting my tongue publicly and just posting rants on my livejournal. I like that thing.

Rodents are, for sure, something to be avoided. I really feel like quoting the first monologue from Mallrats here, but I'm lazy and don't want to actually remember the whole thing.

Sheath, honey... I think your sensibilities may be skewed by the convict nature of your hamsters. Remember, not all guys are evil, not all women are bitches (just most of us... ) and not all hamsters are trying to take over the world. Rats either.

EML... ew. Again.
Then again, of course you seem like the sort who would post a thread similar to the one whose subject turned into screen door sex.

SCREEN DOOR SEX!!!

And now back to your original programming.

*insert bad muzak here*
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Last edited by CelticFrog : 03-06-2004 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 03-06-2004, 11:30 PM   #19
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great idea! have her try licking your dog's balls first, then having the dog mount her, while you jerk off on it's back.

HOT!
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Old 03-07-2004, 06:46 PM   #20
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Screen Door Sex...

CelticFrog wrote;
Quote:
EML... ew. Again.Then again, of course you seem like the sort who would post a thread similar to the one whose subject turned into screen door sex.

SCREEN DOOR SEX!!!
CelticFrog, thankyou for bringing back such lovely memories of the those heady days with the screen doors and for the fetishists amongst us, the screen door closing mechanism focus...ah those were the days!



Perhaps dressing up in something furry would do the trick? Some things may be better left in the realm of fantasy?
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Old 03-07-2004, 07:32 PM   #21
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why is he a troll???

can some one answer that for me.


and as for the origional poster i have read some faq sites that tell you how to but dont give any pictures just directions. if im asked i'll post links to them unless its against the TOS. etoile would it be against the TOS if i gave a link to a animal sex faq that doesnt have pics just directions? i have also seen some sites that give how too on necrophelia and techrophelia if anyone is interested.
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Old 03-07-2004, 11:31 PM   #22
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Quote:
SCREEN DOOR SEX!!!
Now there's a fetish for ya! Thanks Ang for bringing back a goood memory! Is there seriously a Zoo Tycoon game out there...lol! Seems right up this guys alley.

Oh and pleeeeaase! Pleeeease if there actually is anyone out there who happens to want to take madmanmike up on his offer to get more info on Necrophelia for the love of god do it in a PM. I hate to sound judgemental here but...EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!
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Old 03-08-2004, 12:42 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by SlickTony
If he's smart, he'll stay far, far, far away from the ferrets.
yeah, they can get their whole body into places they can get their head into... found mine in a closet, the door wasn't open, but theres a bigger gap at the bottom... I was freaked out when I found him curled around my fuzzy slippers ..eep.
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Old 03-08-2004, 03:43 AM   #24
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Oh God, what we don't get into.

Okay, those who engageactivly in beast sex or pet sex are self named, Zoos.
There are many pet lover sites on mIRC, I happened to stumble into one once. Gawd, was that a trippy channel.
They ask such things as "are you active or curious?"....
Okay, hell yes, now I'm curious, what the frell were they thinking or doing!?!?!
They do have a F.A.Q. and many zoo chatters who will share both answers to questions and pictures, as well as their experiences.
Sorry, I can't claim to give any first hand experience, I was booted from the channel after I expressed this subject was a little to odd for my likes.
The channels on Undernet I was originally dared to enter were named #Horse love, #Dog sex, or #Dog Sex!
I won't tell you which one I was booted from, but they do try to be informative and helpful if you like that sort of thing.

Goodluck.
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Old 03-10-2004, 05:14 PM   #25
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.

by the way if your wife wants a dog to go down on her i suggest peanut butter. just dont use chunky because they wil bite at it instead of lick.
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