Fisting: Answers and Advice Appreciated

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164594

There is no question that this is a terrific thread and full of great information. Please read it if you have not and especially if you are new at it. However, there remains me for, many other questions I have about fisting.

I know about going slow and using copious amounts of lube and relaxing and all those issues and precautions. And I am not down playing the importance of all the great advice in that thread. I have read it, twice.

However, my real question is about the pleasure and orgasmic dimensions of fisting. From a woman's perspective, is this a far-out, mind blowing experience, really? (It was only attempted on me once and it was far from any of that for me. But I do want to try it again someday.) Does repeated fisting, especially on older women (those of us over 35 or 40) cause the vagina to become loose and stretched out? Is the orgasm just from the act of fisting or are other techniques involved during it that enhance or cause an orgasm?

Like subspace, which I have also never experienced, I would like to know what fisting is really like from experienced people, men and women alike. And any advice people might have would be very welcome, too.

Thank you for posting in advance, if you consider this topic worthy of discussion.

it all depends ADR. not only is every female (and her body) entirely unique, but each fisting experience tends to be unique as well. i have been fisted where it felt absolutely amazing...wonderful...intensely pleasureable...and then i have been fisted where it felt like my insides were being ripped apart and i just wanted to die. when it was meant to feel good, it felt good. when it was meant to hurt, it hurt. as to repeated fisting stretching someone out...i'm thinking that would all depend on the individual female as well. i have not been fisted all that often, but i can say that during periods where i was fisted or stretched out vaginally in other ways, the last thing it did was loosen me up down there. if anything the swelling and the tension makes me tighten up to an alarming degree for days to a few weeks afterwards. i do think it would make a difference as to what type of fisting...pleasurable or painful. i imagine that if one is constantly being fisted in a pleasurable way, because it requires such a complete relaxation of the muscles, that that sort of fisting would lead to a more "loose" pussy quicker than the painful kind, where one is likely to be tense and nervous throughout.

Hmm ADR.

Great thread topic and thank you for starting it. We can talk about how things should be done, but then, how refreshing to talk about how it actually feels.

*snip*
Now, I am not sure how long I am going to leave this post up for, it feels rather raw and personal and I may decide I have crossed some personal boundaries. Hopefully, you will get to read it before I edit it!

Thank you both for your insightful and intimate responses. I understand that this touches close to home for many people and I appreciate both of you for your candor.

Like osg said, the first failed time for me caused me a great deal of discomfort for more than a couple weeks after. I take full responsiblity for that happening. I was trying to be the tough, perfect sub and take all that came with it. I have a high pain threshold anyway, so I didn't realize until the next day, how much I had caused myself. I also believed that it was supposed to hurt like that. I have since learned that that is not the case.

And your descriptions, Miss T... well, they leave me speechless and not just a little envious. ;-)

Again, thank you both for caring enough to post something so intimate and personal. I am sure I'm not the only person who will gain from your candor on this topic.

MissTaken I am intrigued and curious to try what you describe as a deeply erotic and transcendent experience. But, oh my those big man hands! I fisted myself once in a fit of extreme lust, and have fisted many male subs who found it a very intense rush indeed. If it is done with slow, gentle pushing, and without rotating the wrist, there shouldn’t be any damage to the delicate tissues of the rectum. As a woman topping a man it is perhaps the most intimate form of penetration. He receives my physical body and opens himself take everything I have to give.

Ah, my favorite topic! (As those over on the How-To board can tell you.) Fisting is an everyday part of my sex life - my girlfriend fists me just about every time we have sex. It's my favorite activity.

Although I've heard that some women find it mind-blowing, it seems to mostly come from pornos. I don't experience it as a really far-out experience, but it is pretty intense just to know that there is somebody's entire hand inside. I will often reach down and feel all around my gf's wrist, just because it's so amazing to me that she's really all the way in there.

The chances of fisting stretching you out are pretty minimal, even after 35. If it's something you're worried about, Kegels will counteract any potential stretching. Keep in mind though that Kegels may make you too tight to be fisted comfortably - I've had that happen too!

And while I've heard of women having an orgasm just from being fisted, it seems to me that's mostly a porno description too. I'm sure it's happened, but in my case clitoral stimulation is essential. My gf is usually at the wrong angle, so I do this myself.

A really excellent book on vaginal fisting is Deborah Addington's A Hand in the Bush, I believe it's published by Greenery Press.

Oh, one final note - I advise emptying your bowels before starting even a vaginal fisting session. My gf says she can tell if I need to go to the bathroom, and while it isn't unsanitary or anything and it doesn't bother her, it does kind of put a damper on it for me knowing that she can feel that! It's just slightly embarrassing, but going to the bathroom beforehand solves the problem.

Well, I would expect that if someone needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm in other sexual acts, the same would hold true for fisting?



Having never watched or read porn concerning fisting, I am not sure how to discuss this issue except to say that different acts are met with different responses from each and every one of us.

And frankly, the few photos I have seen of fisting, including my own, make fisting seem almost obscene. So much of the act does not carry over into photography. (Just brain fluff left over from a conversation I had today on the subject.)

For me it is all in the moment, and who is doing the fisting. I have had good and bad experiences, some that left little after effects and others which caused deep pain for days. I would have to say I find the most relaxing (when I allow myself to relax that is) is anal fisting. It takes a lot of time, but the end result is not only satisfying from a submissive, humiliating angle, but is also physically liberating and pleasureable to the extreme. Perhaps it is the positioning of pelvic bones etc., which makes vaginal fisting less pleasureable on average, and likely also the fact that whole area has been a painful problem for me most of my life. Certainly has not had a stretching effect on me so far, nor despite my reputed tightness have I ever experienced the swelling for days some have mentioned.....guess I'm lucky.

Catalina

catalina_francisco said:

For me it is all in the moment, and who is doing the fisting. I have had good and bad experiences, some that left little after effects and others which caused deep pain for days. I would have to say I find the most relaxing (when I allow myself to relax that is) is anal fisting. It takes a lot of time, but the end result is not only satisfying from a submissive, humiliating angle, but is also physically liberating and pleasureable to the extreme. Perhaps it is the positioning of pelvic bones etc., which makes vaginal fisting less pleasureable on average, and likely also the fact that whole area has been a painful problem for me most of my life. Certainly has not had a stretching effect on me so far, nor despite my reputed tightness have I ever experienced the swelling for days some have mentioned.....guess I'm lucky.

Catalina

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Ooooh, thanks for the encouragement, Catalina! Despite all my experience with vaginal fisting I've yet to try anal, but I've been wanting to for some time. Now I have even more reason to want to try it!

Etoile said:

Ah, my favorite topic! (As those over on the How-To board can tell you.) Fisting is an everyday part of my sex life - my girlfriend fists me just about every time we have sex. It's my favorite activity.

Although I've heard that some women find it mind-blowing, it seems to mostly come from pornos. I don't experience it as a really far-out experience, but it is pretty intense just to know that there is somebody's entire hand inside. I will often reach down and feel all around my gf's wrist, just because it's so amazing to me that she's really all the way in there.

The chances of fisting stretching you out are pretty minimal, even after 35. If it's something you're worried about, Kegels will counteract any potential stretching. Keep in mind though that Kegels may make you too tight to be fisted comfortably - I've had that happen too!

And while I've heard of women having an orgasm just from being fisted, it seems to me that's mostly a porno description too. I'm sure it's happened, but in my case clitoral stimulation is essential. My gf is usually at the wrong angle, so I do this myself.

A really excellent book on vaginal fisting is Deborah Addington's A Hand in the Bush, I believe it's published by Greenery Press.

Oh, one final note - I advise emptying your bowels before starting even a vaginal fisting session. My gf says she can tell if I need to go to the bathroom, and while it isn't unsanitary or anything and it doesn't bother her, it does kind of put a damper on it for me knowing that she can feel that! It's just slightly embarrassing, but going to the bathroom beforehand solves the problem.

Click to expand...

Thank you for this, more than you know.

You touched on a point that I have not felt comfortable being open about... I do not orgasm without clitoral stimulation. And I had begun to think that those pictures of fisting that I have seen and the porn films too, was not much more than hype. From what I have read about female orgasms, most women do not orgasm from penetration, only... no matter what the penetration is (a penis or a fist or a zucchini). ;-)

So, thanks to you and some of the stuff I have read, I don't feel like I'm abnormal.

As for anal fisting... I'm not sure I can ever go there. It's hard enough to get my head around being able to do vaginal fisting. LOL

But the feelings that it brings forth, and not so much the how-to... has been at the center of all my questions and I thank you all for your input.

There are so many things I want to experience, even once, before I die. This is one thing that happens to be tops on my hit parade.

re: fisting

Desert Rose...

I just wanted to share my experience with this fisting business. I have had a very keen interest in fisting since day one, having read so much about it..how intimate it was..how incredible the oragasm would be etc. So many good submissive friends had offered suggestions on how to..but when it comes right down to it, it all depends on our bodies. Some women say its easier if you have had children and delivered naturally (not the case with me)
some say its the size of the pelvis (mines smaller) Others suggest lubing up, being patient, working the area slowly to widen the opening and last but not least the size of our partners hands is the clincher.
Master has tried several times to "get in" and I love it when he tries..mmm... the longer he tries the better..chuckles. To make a long story short, we told a good friend about our situation and got together with her. I fisted her first to see what it was like (she squirmed and wriggled to accomodate my hand the little slut) She has had four kids and alot of fisting under her belt. She then fisted me while Master watched..ahah so I could be fisted by someone with smaller hands ! Gawd how cool is that?
Seriously tho' the chances of being fisted by my own partner are slim and that does bother me a bit. But hey theres so many other things we can do with those manly hands. WEG.
Sis...I hope my input will help in some small way.

OH My,What an Multiple Orgasmic Experience

OH My,What a Multiple Orgasmic Experience

I can tell you there is nothing like it in this world. My Biker took much time in introducing me to this experience. and i am forever grateful He did. He gradually over a few months time and fingering me with first one finger then adding another untill i had the four finger inserted , lots o f lube, and then one evening standing in my kitchen making our dinner He slipped up behind and lowered Himself slipping His hand up my skirt and between my legs. I had never felt anything like it. All of a sudden His hand slipped up inside me and Oh! Wow!.. of course He then pulled it from me and left me in a stupor, wanting more. The next time He took me this way it was a mind blowing experience. Talk about seeing stars and sky rockets at night. No it does not leave you stretched and wide open. The muscles are strong and quickly tighten and return to normal.The only time there is any pain is when one hasn't been fisted in a while and the bones hurt a bit, But who cares!! Chuckles Biker found G-spots i did not know existed. The orgasms are multiple and never ending.I have posted a rather humorous story of this event one evening. Hint: He almost did not get His hand back. mmmm
Yummy and Delicious
slaveskinky

Thank you slaveskinky and cati...

for your posts here.

I am sure there are many aside from me who will gain from your input and that of the others who posted.

I hope someday to experience those things I have seen written here.

I have a question......I have not been vaginally fisted as yet, though Master has been able to get 4 fingers inside me up to the knuckles, it burns and stings too much for me to be able to go any further (though He has not persisted with it).

However I do have an episiotomy scar and find after being stretched like that I am sore there for a couple of days after. I am worried that with trying to fist me I could cause some damage - the scar is from the birth of my first child who had to be delivered with forceps. The second child nearly 5 years later caused me to tear and I had to have stitches again and it took a couple of months to heal properly. Now I am aware that a fist is smaller than a baby's head, but it still worries me a bit. Does anybody know whether the scar will have an effect on my ability to be fisted or not?

Bandit58 said:

I have a question......I have not been vaginally fisted as yet, though Master has been able to get 4 fingers inside me up to the knuckles, it burns and stings too much for me to be able to go any further (though He has not persisted with it).

However I do have an episiotomy scar and find after being stretched like that I am sore there for a couple of days after. I am worried that with trying to fist me I could cause some damage - the scar is from the birth of my first child who had to be delivered with forceps. The second child nearly 5 years later caused me to tear and I had to have stitches again and it took a couple of months to heal properly. Now I am aware that a fist is smaller than a baby's head, but it still worries me a bit. Does anybody know whether the scar will have an effect on my ability to be fisted or not?

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Something else to consider is your anxiety/worry about rupturing your scar may be preventing you from completely relaxing in order to facilitate the experience.

I haven't any advice about your scar, but good luck

i just want you to know that this thread led to a very interesting conversation between my amoureusse and i. and for that, i thank you....

what "fisting" does for me

i found "fisting" to be uncomfortable and a little too painful the first couple of times attempted but that changed with persistence. As far as the sensations for me i can honestly say, it is an extremely intense orgasm for me. i can feel the pressure building up as my Master presses against the right spot and either rubs or moves His fist in an, "in and out" motion. It feels like one big giant clit and when it goes..........it goes! It resulted in an orgasm different than most and lasted longer and seemed to go throughout my entire body it was a most amazing experience.

enigma

MDH's slave

Bandit58 said:

I have a question......I have not been vaginally fisted as yet, though Master has been able to get 4 fingers inside me up to the knuckles, it burns and stings too much for me to be able to go any further (though He has not persisted with it).

However I do have an episiotomy scar and find after being stretched like that I am sore there for a couple of days after. I am worried that with trying to fist me I could cause some damage - the scar is from the birth of my first child who had to be delivered with forceps. The second child nearly 5 years later caused me to tear and I had to have stitches again and it took a couple of months to heal properly. Now I am aware that a fist is smaller than a baby's head, but it still worries me a bit. Does anybody know whether the scar will have an effect on my ability to be fisted or not?

Click to expand...

This is a good question and one I don't have an answer to. I guess no one else does either. I've had 2 episiotomy scars, also.

As I've said before somewhere else, the odds of being fisted for me, ranks right up there with my trip to Rome... don't see it happening anytime in this lifetime. But good luck to you, bandit. Keep at it and keep at it slowly. Then come back and tell me how delicious it was, okay?

And thanks for the bump. It's always fun when new people post to old threads.

You'll have to be careful with the episiotomy scar, but it shouldn't actually stop you at all from being able to enjoy fisting. By being careful, you'll probably need a hell of a lot more time than the average person to be able to stretch the surrounding skin enough that the episiotomy scar doesn't need to be pushed past its limits and potentially tear. If you have a patient partner, and the willingness to try (which can be as pleasurable as the end result depending on how it's done), then there will be no damage to you or your scar.

I have a lot of uterine and vaginal scarring, so I had to learn some of these lessons the hard way. But I can still assure you that it should be possible with patience and persistence.

I'd also keep an eye out on your 'burning' threshold, if you panic about your scar and the way it feels, take a break. Re-tearing a scar is never a fun experience, and impedes the healing process.

Ravenari

Thanks ADR We are taking things slowly, and Master's hands are not huge, but even if we don't succeed it is a lot of fun trying

Ravenari - thanks for your reply! It does give me hope that one day we'll succeed with this. I'm always surprised when I ask how many fingers He's gotten inside me He has said that with a lot more time He is sure that it will happen, I just have to learn to relax about it, and I always have a safe word. I used it for the first time the other night, the burning sensation was too much. I have heard it referred to as the "ring of fire" - that's exactly what it felt like!

A Desert Rose said:

Thank you for this, more than you know.

You touched on a point that I have not felt comfortable being open about... I do not orgasm without clitoral stimulation. And I had begun to think that those pictures of fisting that I have seen and the porn films too, was not much more than hype. From what I have read about female orgasms, most women do not orgasm from penetration, only... no matter what the penetration is (a penis or a fist or a zucchini). ;-)

So, thanks to you and some of the stuff I have read, I don't feel like I'm abnormal.

As for anal fisting... I'm not sure I can ever go there. It's hard enough to get my head around being able to do vaginal fisting. LOL

But the feelings that it brings forth, and not so much the how-to... has been at the center of all my questions and I thank you all for your input.

There are so many things I want to experience, even once, before I die. This is one thing that happens to be tops on my hit parade.

Click to expand...

Ok, I'm coming out of the clit closet here too, though I think I have before.

I'm so sick of the expectation that I should get off otherwise.

And women are even worse about it. If one more woman tells me she'll make me come from fucking only I'm going straight.

.....

Neomagalie said:

I actually feel the other way. I feel weird and out of place in the fact that in most cases I need penetration from something or someone to have pleasure. Maybe I have not watched enough porn.

The men I have been with thought of the clit like this wonderful magical tool that would give me pleasure with a few turns and rubs. I guess another thing that I prefer telling them in case they are not mind readers…or body readers.

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The moral of the story....each woman is different, and learn to listen to her, not your preconceptions.....duly noted....

wow. this is so.... inspiring in a way....
my husband bought me a new toy for valentines day... its a vibrator...
we got it home, and were very excited to try it out... I was wet, very wet... but it didnt fit! it hurt so badly, I could put it in... but moving it in and out hurt...
and the bad thing is that its not even that huge. 4-4.5 inches around. I know a guy with a cock bigger than that!
Its made me... almost angry at myself.. (yeah angry) that I couldnt comfortably accomodate something that other women can use just fine.

when I masturbate I only use one finger inside, VERY rarely (when Im extremely horny) will I use two... and hubby usually only uses one also... and you're telling me that regular people (as in not pornstars) can actually do this!? lol... its mindblowing to me... if Im not very wet two fingers can be uncomfortable...
Im in awe....

A Desert Rose said:

This is a good question and one I don't have an answer to. I guess no one else does either. I've had 2 episiotomy scars, also.

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Perineal massage... just as you'd have in childbirth if your doc truly loves you.

It's more than just sliding fingers in and hoping for good results, warm compresses, massage and patience play a huge part in this... strangely enough, aromatherapy is excellent in helping with this as well. Lavender is very relaxing and makes for a more soothing atmosphere when you're doing something like this that many times makes girls fraught with anxiety.

Kegels, as Etoile mentioned DO help immensely in keeping the pelvic muscles tight. I think we should all be doing them daily anyway, it's just good health.

Personally, I've been fisted quite a bit. I bottomed for a long time and was a fisting demo dolly at a local dungeon for over a year. I get off with very little persuasion, my g-spot is quite sensitive I guess.

I've had harsher, more painful experiences as well and even then I found it hard pressed to not orgasm. Anal fisting as well is extremely erotic, although it takes A LOT more prep time and patience. If you enjoy anal sex though, it's well worth a shot.

Enough babbling for now, new mommy can't see straight.